7. Chapter Seven
Chapter Seven
I t was a delicious lunch.
And most of all, the company was fabulous.
After Abby and Kate departed, Carrie and Jackson had enjoyed some of the Grille’s signature beef stew with a side of homemade bread. The bread was so soft and tasty. But Jackson’s company was her favorite part of their lunch break.
Carrie slathered the softened butter on the last piece of bread. “Are you enjoying being in London?”
He nodded. “It’s great there.”
“As great as Bayberry?” She didn’t want his life to be so wonderful in Europe, because she hated the thought that he would never move back. And she really missed her friend.
He shook his head. “There’s no place like home.”
It was exactly what she wanted to hear. A smile tugged on the corners of her lips. “I’m glad you’re here. How much longer can you stay?”
He pushed his empty bowl to the end of the table. “I’ll be around for a while.”
No matter how long it would be, it wasn’t be nearly long enough. “It’s great to have you home again. Those text messages just aren’t the same as seeing you in person.”
“I agree.” He leaned back. “So are you seeing anyone?”
She shook her head. “I was seeing Codi Reynolds, but we broke up a few months ago.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It was for the best.”
Codi was a nice guy, but there was no chemistry between them. Her grandmother used to tell her that she’d know the right guy by his kiss. Gran insisted that a kiss from the right guy would be profound. She also warned that the kiss would be a bit scary at first because she would know that her life was about to be irrevocably changed.
Carrie had never experienced such a kiss. She wasn’t sure a kiss like that was even possible. Gran was a bit of a romantic. Her bookshelves were filled with romance novels. Although, Carrie had to admit it would be nice if there was such a thing as a magical kiss that would tell her who the right guy was for her.
Not wanting to talk about her dismal love life, she asked, “What about you? Are you seeing anyone?”
The breath caught in her throat as she waited for his next words. She didn’t know why she was so invested in his answer, but he had her full attention.
He shook his head. “There’s no one.”
She exhaled the breath. She didn’t know why she was making a big deal out of his social life. It’s not like she was interested in him.
However, she remembered in their distant past how their dating lives had put a huge strain on their friendship. Suddenly, they didn’t have time to hang out with each other. Or, the things they’d once done together were now being done with their significant others.
But this visit, neither of them were involved with anyone. A little smile gently tugged at the corners of her lips. It was the perfect time for them to reconnect. The idea definitely appealed to her.
“I’m glad you’re back, even if you tried to ruin my grand opening.” She sent him a teasing smile.
“You aren’t going to let me live that down, are you?” A crooked smile played on his lips.
There was one thing that she’d been dying to ask him. “The one thing I don’t understand is what you’re doing back here when your mother is out of town.” It all struck her as a little strange. “What’s going on?”
He didn’t immediately answer her. His gaze lowered as he played with the wrapper from the straw. She knew that action. He did it when something was weighing on his mind. This was the only confirmation she needed to know something serious was going on.
And then she had a horrible thought. She didn’t want to believe it was true, but it would explain his mother’s absence.
She lowered her voice. “Is your mother sick?”
Jackson continued to stare down at the table. He remained quiet. In fact, he was quiet for so long she didn’t think he was going to answer her. Maybe he felt it was none of her business.
Carrie sat there for a moment, trying to decide how to handle the situation. Perhaps it was best to just change the subject. Yes, that sounded like the best course of action.
“Carrie, there’s something I need to tell you.” There was a weary tone to his voice.
Her heart sank. She wanted so much to be wrong about her suspicion. “You know you can tell me anything.” She remembered how when they were growing up, they’d held each other’s confidences. It’d been a while since they’d been that for each other, but she didn’t see why that had to change now.
Jackson’s handsome face creased with worry lines. He glanced around, stretching his neck as though to see in the booth behind her, and then he turned to see that the booth behind him was also empty. Oh, boy. This is really bad.
“Sorry.” His voice was barely more than a whisper. “I just don’t want this to make it to the rumor mill. I don’t want my mother to be upset and have a setback.”
Carrie reached out and placed her hand on his forearm that was resting on the table. “If either of you need anything, just say the word.”
When his eyes lifted to meet hers, she saw pain and turmoil in their depths. “I failed her.”
“Who? Your mother?” When he nodded, she said, “I can’t believe that. She loves you so much, and she’s so proud of you. She brags about you every chance she gets.”
Carrie knew she was missing something important, but she just couldn’t imagine Jackson would let down his mother. She knew how much he cared about her. The affection definitely went both ways.
This was a mistake.
Jackson regretted saying anything about his mother’s troubles. It was just so hard to keep it all inside. And Carrie was always so easy to talk to.
Still, her well-intentioned words only succeeded in making him feel worse. He didn’t deserve her sympathy. If she knew what had happened while he was off chasing his dreams, she wouldn’t look at him with sympathy in her eyes. Instead there would be disappointment or disgust reflected in her eyes. Maybe that’s what he deserved.
There were just too many people around for him to open up to her there. So, when the server dropped off their bill, he pulled out some cash and told the young woman to keep the change, which equated to a generous tip. The woman’s eyes lit up as her smile broadened. She thanked him and moved on.
Once they were away from the restaurant, Carrie said, “It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me what’s going on. Just know, I’m always here for you.”
She was still the same Carrie he so fondly remembered. She wasn’t pushy or demanding. It made it all the easier to talk to her.
“I recently found out that my mother...” This was harder to admit than he thought it was going to be. Still, he had started, so he had to keep going. “The bank called me when my mother tried to take out a second mortgage.”
Carrie sent him a worried look, but she remained quiet.
“I didn’t even know she was having money issues. When I started looking at her finances, I found that wasn’t the only financial worry.”
“I’m so sorry your mother was having a tough time. I had no idea. I thought things were fine with her, especially with her going off on all of her trips.”
“That’s just it. She should have been fine. When my father died, he left her financially set.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “This is my fault. I’ve been gone too long, and I’ve been too far away. It’s just that every time I spoke to her, she told me she was doing good and she was always busy. Even so, I should have seen there was something wrong.”
“You couldn’t have known—not if she didn’t want you to.”
He raked his fingers through his hair. “Her credit cards are all maxed out. Even the utilities are overdue. I’m working on straightening it all out. Every time I think I’m on top of things, I find another overdue bill or new debt.” This was the easy part. Now he had to tell her the reason behind his mother’s financial ruin. “My mother is addicted to gambling.”
Carrie’s eyes widened. She didn’t say anything. The unspoken questions shone in her eyes.
“I finally talked her into going to get help. It wasn’t easy. She didn’t want to admit she had a problem—not even when I showed her all of the overdue bills or the notice that she’d overdrawn the checking account. She swore that she was going to get caught up. She just needed a little more money and time. She swore her luck would turn around. It was like I was talking to a total stranger.” He closed his eyes as the painful memories played out in his mind.
“I’m so sorry.” Carrie reached over and took his hand in hers. “This must be so hard for both of you.”
He opened his eyes and looked at her. In her eyes, all he saw was compassion. There was no recrimination or disappointment. “She’s in a treatment program. They say she’s suffering from depression. I guess it has been going on for a long time.” This is the part that he didn’t understand. “How did I not see that my mother was suffering? Am I that bad of a son?” It was a rhetorical question because he knew the answer.
Carrie tightened her grip on his hand and stopped walking. When he stopped, too, she said, “That’s not true.” Her gaze met his. Sympathy shone in her blue eyes. “You’re a loving son.”
He lowered his gaze to the crack in the sidewalk. “I was too far away when my mother was gambling away her retirement money and suffering from depression.”
“None of that matters now.” Carrie’s voice was firm. “Both you and your mother are where you need to be now. You’re doing everything you can to help her. I suppose this explains your sudden need to fix up the space next door to my shop.”
He nodded his head. “I thought if I sold it, that the money could pay off her debts and the remainder could go into her savings.”
Carrie smiled at him. “You might not believe it, but I happen to think you’re a very good son.”
He wanted to believe her, but there was one thing still nagging at him. “But why didn’t I see what was going on? There were all of her bus trips that I now know were not to go see plays but rather to go to the casino.”
“My guess would be that she didn’t want you to know. She didn’t want anyone to know. She hid it from you because there was still a part of her that knew she’d lost control and was spiraling.”
His gaze met hers. “Do you really believe that?”
Carrie nodded. “I’m certainly no expert when it comes to this stuff, but I know people and when they want to hide something from themselves or others, they can be quite convincing.”
He suddenly wondered if they were still talking about his mother, or if they were talking about him. For so long, he’d hidden the way he still felt about Carrie. He’d hid it from not only her but also himself because he was afraid of her rejecting him—again.
He figured that time and distance would diminish his feelings for her. But now that he was back in Bayberry, he realized he still cared for her. If anything, their separation had made him miss her all the more.
Maybe since he was confessing things, he should finally tell her how he felt about her. Before he lost his nerve, he said, “Carrie, I...”
Buzz. Buzz.
“Sorry.” She reached for her phone, which was in her pocket. She pressed it to her ear. “Hey, Alice, I’m almost there.”
There was silence as she listened to whatever Alice was saying.
“Okay. I’m coming.” She ended the call and looked at him. “I hate to leave right now, but Alice is having a problem with one of the display cases. And the mayor is supposed to stop by this afternoon.”
He nodded in understanding. “It’s fine. Go.”
“Thanks.” She hesitated for a moment, before she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him.
His arms slipped around her waist and drew her closer. His heart pounded. Jackson found himself drawn to her in a way that he was never drawn to anyone else. He’d dated a number of women through the years, but none could compare to her.
The thought caused his mind to grind to a halt. Was that it? Was he comparing everyone he dated to Carrie? The confirmation came rushing to him like a big billboard on the side of the highway. How had he not known this until now?
The truth was that he’d been in love with Carrie since high school, but when she’d turned him down on prom night, his bruised ego refused to let him broach the subject again. He didn’t think he could handle another of her polite rejections.
But if he was going to try to win her affections again, it couldn’t be now. He wasn’t going to start a long-distance relationship. There was no way it would work when it spanned the Atlantic Ocean.
She pulled away and he reluctantly let her go. He watched as she rushed inside the chocolate shop. When he turned away, he saw Mark grab something from his pickup.
Jackson continued along the sidewalk. He paused when he reached Mark. He noticed Mark was giving him a strange look. “What?”
Mark smiled and shook his head. “After all of these years, you still have it bad for Carrie.”
“I do not.” The rushed words weren’t believable, not even to Jackson’s ears.
“Uh-huh. You keep telling yourself that. Maybe one of these years you’ll start to believe it. Or, you could just tell her how you feel.” Mark didn’t even wait for Jackson to respond before he continued into the building.
He’d almost told her how he felt, but the phone call had interrupted him. Maybe that was for the best. He felt as though he were being pulled in a lot of directions these days. He needed to focus on helping his mother and getting her moved to London so he could be there to help her.