18. Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Eighteen
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And yet it was another miss.
Jackson couldn’t believe their kiss had been interrupted. He was beginning to think if he didn’t have bad luck where Carrie was concerned, he wouldn’t have any luck at all. Still, he wasn’t giving up. This was way too important to him.
If they hadn’t been interrupted, he was certain they would have kissed. Would it have changed things for them in a positive way? He’d like to think so. But he knew to have a committed relationship with Carrie, it was going to take so much more than a kiss. That was the part of his plan that needed work. Decisions had to be made.
Of course, his boss was making his choice so much easier. After awakening to an irate phone call from Mr. Baldwin, in New York City, Jackson was growing weary. Mr. Baldwin had ordered him back to the office right away because the launch of their latest product was continuing to encounter snags.
Of course, Jackson wanted to point out that the problems were not his nor were they his employees’ fault. The source of the problem was the responsibility of the development department. There were known bugs with the program that had not been ironed out before they rolled it out.
And yet, Jackson was expected to drop everything to go back to do what? Try to convince their clients that the program was flawless? He was not about to put his professional reputation on the line to boldly lie.
When Jackson stood his ground with his boss, he was told if he wasn’t back in the office by the following Monday, he didn’t have to bother coming back. In a restrained tone, Jackson told Mr. Baldwin that he would be there. After all of the years of devotion to his job, this was the thanks he got. He felt like a fool for sacrificing his personal life for a company that didn’t care about him. He needed to make his happiness the priority, and the rest of his life would fall into place.
Although, he refused to let Mr. Baldwin help him out the door. He would go back and leave on his own terms, even though he wasn’t happy about the circumstances. He told himself not to let it get to him. He already knew he was needed elsewhere—someplace where his presence would be appreciated.
He was moving back to Bayberry. Carrie had inspired him with her entrepreneurial spirit. He loved the idea of being his own boss without a board constantly breathing down his neck for ever-increasing profits.
He liked the idea of slowing down—as his mother would say: taking time to smell the roses. He liked the idea of buying his childhood home and remodeling it to make it more modern. And he liked the idea of sharing that vision with Carrie.
With a plan in mind, he headed to his meeting with Mark. He knew exactly what he wanted them to do with the space. Although the meeting ended up running longer than he’d anticipated, they’d parsed out the necessary details. He didn’t realize just how much planning went into a project of this scale. But with Mark heading up the project, he felt confident it would be done correctly.
It was dinnertime by the time they shook hands and parted. Jackson had a lot of things to do. Since the local bank was already closed for the day, talking to them about a mortgage for the house would have to wait. But he rushed toward the real estate office so he could let Brittany know that she could take the house off the market. There would be no house showings next week after all. No strangers would tramp through his childhood home.
He thought for sure this life-altering decision would make his stomach knot up or cause his head to pound with a stress headache, but none of that happened. Instead, he felt calm, and his steps felt lighter.
In fact, the stomach pains that had been plaguing him off and on for the past few months had greatly diminished since he’d returned to Bayberry. His body was telling him this was where he belonged after all. Now he wondered what Carrie would say when he told her the news.
He pulled into a parking spot a little way from the real estate office. He was just making his way along the sidewalk when he saw Brittany exit the building.
“Hey, Brittany.” He called to her.
She had her back to him. She must not have heard him as she began to walk in the same direction he was heading.
He took long, quick steps to catch up to her. Lucky for him, she stopped to speak with someone on the sidewalk. It was only a couple of words, but it was long enough to shrink the distance between them.
As Brittany’s conversation finished, and she was just about to resume walking, he reached her. “Brittany, could we speak?”
When she turned to him, it was with a big smile on her face, but it didn’t have the warmth that Carrie’s smiles always bestowed upon him. Brittany’s smile was more polished, as if it were part of her professional attire—something she put on at the beginning of the work day and took off when she was done making business deals for the day.
“Well, hello.” Her gaze met his.
“Hi.” The intensity of her stare caused him to feel uncomfortable. He glanced away. “I was wondering if we could talk about my mother’s house.”
“Oh, yes, I have viewings lined up starting on Monday. People are excited to see it. I see it selling quickly. You’ll need to keep the place tidy. We don’t want to turn off any prospective buyers.” She paused as though to study him. “But that isn’t all you wanted to talk about, is it?”
The longer he stood there, the more uncomfortable he became. He swallowed hard. “I wanted to let you know that I’m taking the house off the market.”
The smile instantly fled her face. In its wake, there were frown lines. “But you can’t do that. I’m certain one of the couples I’ve been in contact with are going to buy it.”
“I’m afraid it’s no longer for sale.” His tone was firm.
Brittany crossed her arms as she pursed her lips. In her eyes, he could see the wheels turning in her mind. “But you can’t make those sorts of decisions. It’s your mother’s house.”
“But she signed a temporary power of attorney over to me, so I am free to make those decisions.” He didn’t like having to explain himself to her.
Brittany sighed. “May I ask why you’re taking the house off the market?”
“Because I’m buying it.”
Once more her well-practiced smile returned to her bright-red lips. “Well, why didn’t you say that? You got me all worked up for no reason.” She stepped closer to him. “Does this mean you’re moving back to town permanently?”
He didn’t like having her in his personal space, but his pride had him standing his ground. He wasn’t going to let this woman think she could push him around. Why in the world did his mother pick Brittany of all people to be her real estate agent?
He didn’t want to inform Brittany of his plans, because she would be sure to share it with anyone who would listen. And he wanted Carrie to be the first person to learn of his plans.
So, he continued as if she hadn’t said a word. “So, if you could write up the papers, we can get on with this.”
“How much are you paying?”
“Full price.”
Her brows raised. “No discount for being family?”
“No.” He didn’t feel as though he needed to fill her in on the details.
The truth was that his mother needed a lot of help financially. She would need every penny from the sale to settle her debts and start over in a smaller place in town. However, he also had an idea about that too.
During his earlier meeting with Mark, they’d discussed renovating the space above both the chocolate shop and the vacant storefront. He wanted to put in four apartments. He would see if his mother would be interested in living there. The rent would be ideal for her budget: zip, zilch, and zero. There were some perks to being the owner of the building.
There would be a substantial investment in the renovations; however, she would begin recouping those when the second apartment was rented. And there would be more rental income from the retail space on the first floor.
“How about we go to dinner to talk about the details?” Brittany’s high-pitched voice drew him from his thoughts.
“I can’t.” His thoughts turned to Carrie. “I have plans.”
“But this is important...” Her voice softened as though sharing a secret with him. “And we could get reacquainted.”
Wait. What? How had this conversation gone from business to...to something else entirely? What she was insinuating made him intensely uncomfortable.
“Don’t look so surprised,” Brittany said. “You have to know that I always had a thing for you.”
She did? Sure, Carrie had mentioned it in passing, but he just thought Carrie was giving him a hard time. Apparently, he needed to heed more of Carrie’s warnings in the future.
His heart was racing. But not in a good way. This was more like he was in fight-or-flight mode.
The next thing he knew Brittany was right in his face, and then her lips pressed to his. She was kissing him? Right here? In the middle of town?
It took a moment for the shock to subside and his common sense to kick in. He gently pushed her away. He wiped off his lips. A streak of bright red lipstick smeared on the back of his hand.
He glared at her. “What are you doing?”
“You can’t blame a girl for trying.”
“Don’t do that again. Ever.” Anger pumped through his veins. Was it possible that no one had seen what had happened?
He glanced around to find people had stopped in their tracks and were openly staring at them. There were raised eyebrows and gaping mouths.
He restrained his rising anger as he focused back on Brittany. “Since you can’t be professional, I’m going to take my family’s business elsewhere.”
As he strode away, he heard her call out, “But what about the favor I did for you?”
He kept walking. He knew she was referring to adding Totally Chocolate to the Happy Hearts event. The truth of the matter was that Carrie’s business always should have been a part of it. The only reason it hadn’t been initially selected was because of some old rivalry stuff between Brittany and Carrie. The way he saw it, he’d done Brittany a favor by getting Totally Chocolate included in the town’s Valentine’s weeklong event.
He wiped off his lips again. Ugh! He hoped he got off all of that lipstick before he saw Carrie. He looked at the back of his hand with the smudge of lipstick. He wiped it off on his jeans.
He needed to tell Carrie what had just happened before she heard it through the grapevine. He didn’t even want to imagine what sort of spin they would put on the unwanted kiss. With his phone in hand, he dialed Carrie’s number. It went to voicemail.
With a sigh, he climbed into his rental car and headed home. When he passed by Carrie’s driveway, he didn’t see her car there.
When he reached his driveaway, instead of pulling in and parking, he merely turned around and headed back to town. He had to find Carrie and clarify things before the busybodies got to her and ruined any chance he might have with her. His nose scrunched up at the memory of Brittany throwing herself at him.
Carrie had told him years ago that Brittany had a thing for him. He chose to ignore it. But this wasn’t high school anymore. And Brittany couldn’t just go around kissing whomever she pleased whenever she pleased. That was just too much. And now he was worried that Carrie would read too much into the meaningless act.
Where is Carrie?
Maybe she was still at the chocolate shop. Maybe she hadn’t left yet. Maybe he was worried about nothing.
It was dark now, but the street lights lining the sidewalk lit up the road. With it being a cold, blustery evening, not many people were out and about. He would presume that most of them were at home, keeping warm. It was where he’d like to be with Carrie by his side.
He pulled up at the end of the alley. He spotted Carrie’s car not far away. Why was she still at the chocolate shop? Was it possible her plans had changed once more, and he hadn’t gotten the message?
It made no difference to him. If she needed help getting her work done, he would pitch in, if it meant that he got to spend more time with her.
He walked up to the back door. He tried to open it, but it was locked. He rapped his knuckles on the metal door. He waited.
When he didn’t hear anything, he knocked harder. “Carrie!”
He waited some more.
And then the door opened a crack. Carrie stood there in the opening. He noticed she hadn’t swung the door wide open; instead, she opened it just enough for her to see him.
She didn’t smile. “Jackson, I can’t talk now.”
“But I thought we were going to have dinner.”
She shook her head. “Things changed.”
He sensed that something was wrong. “No problem. Why don’t you let me in, and I can help you?”
She shook her head again. “I don’t think so.”
His tone softened. “Carrie, what’s wrong?”
When her gaze finally met his, he could see the anger and some other emotion flickering in them. “Like you need to ask.”
He sighed. He was too late. She’d heard about the kiss. The grapevine in Bayberry was faster than a flying snowball. “Carrie, let me explain...”
She turned and walked away.
He caught the door before it closed. He pushed it open and followed her. He had no idea what to say to her—how to explain this away.
By the time he reached her, she was using some sort of spatula to smear chocolate across a marble slab. Normally, he loved to watch her work. She was quite talented. But now was not the time to let himself get distracted. He needed to fix things with Carrie before her imagination got the best of her. Because there was only one woman he wanted to kiss.
And that woman was Carrie.
He needed to leave.
Carrie didn’t want to have this conversation. She didn’t want to let him see how much she cared. She didn’t want him to see how much he’d hurt her.
She knew better than to take their relationship beyond friendship. She’d even told him that, but somehow they’d both forgotten, and now it’d blown up in her face.
She frowned at him. “Really? You had to fall for Brittany of all people?”
“I didn’t fall for her. It’s not like they are saying.”
“I don’t know who ‘they’ are. No one told me anything. I saw you kissing her with my own eyes.”
He held up his palms as though to stop her accusation. “I did not kiss her.”
“Are you trying to tell me that you tripped, and your lips accidentally landed on hers?” Sarcasm dripped from Carrie’s tone, and in that moment, she didn’t care.
“No.” He sighed. “She kissed me.”
“And you let her.”
“I did not. If you saw the kiss, then you must have seen me push her away.”
Carrie glanced away. She didn’t want to admit that she’d been so upset about the kiss that she’d sped off.
“I didn’t,” she said softly.
He stepped closer as his gaze narrowed in on her. “Why not?” When she didn’t respond, he continued. “Is it because it bothered you to see me with another woman?”
When she lifted her head to deny the accusation, her gaze was caught and held by his intense stare. For a moment, there was an utter disconnect between her brain and her mouth. And her heart decided to skip a beat or two.
It wasn’t until she averted her gaze that she once more found her voice. “I wasn’t bothered.” Liar. Liar. “Who you kiss is your business. Speaking of business, I have to get back to work.”
He reached out for her hand. “Carrie, stop fighting it. Please.”
She wanted to yank her hand away because when he was touching her, she couldn’t think straight. Her heart told her to rush into his arms and believe every word he said. Her mind told her not to fall for whatever story he was peddling. Because in the end, he would hurt her, whether he meant to or not.
It took all of her will to pull her hand away. She forced herself to meet his gaze. “Even if I do believe you, it doesn’t change anything.”
“It changes everything.” His voice was emphatic. “Don’t you see? We could give this thing between us a real chance.”
She shook her head. “It would never work.”
Her heart told her she was being foolish for turning him down. It told her he was the measuring stick by which she’d compared every man she’d dated. Not one of them had come close to filling Jackson’s space in her life—in her heart.
And yet her mind told her to stick to her decision to keep him at arm’s length. It would be for the best in the end—because it would end eventually.
“Carrie, you just have to believe in us. Can’t you do that?”
He wasn’t being realistic. The scare with his mother was the reason he was acting so out of sorts. When his mother was home, and he returned to London, he’d see everything so much differently. And she would be forgotten.
“Jackson, you don’t know what you’re saying.”
“I know exactly what I’m saying.” He paused. “Carrie, I care about you.”
Her gaze once more met his. “And I care for you, too, but that’s not enough to start a relationship.”
“I happen to think that it’s a great foundation for a lasting relationship.”
He was totally missing the point. She didn’t want to have this conversation, because it was going to change things between them forever. And yet he wasn’t leaving her much choice.
“It won’t work.” She grasped for the first excuse she could find. “You live in London, and I live here. That isn’t going to change.”
“What if it did?”
This time she held her ground as she stared directly at him. She ignored the way his presence made her heart pitter-patter. “Did you quit your job?” When he didn’t immediately respond, she said, “Jackson, did you?”
He sighed. “No. But that doesn’t mean I won’t.”
She shook her head. “Do not do that for me. I mean it.”
“Why not? Wouldn’t it solve all of our problems?”
“No. It would just create new ones.” This conversation was emotionally exhausting, and her heart ached because turning him away was the last thing she wanted to do, even though she knew it was best for both of them.
“Carrie...”
“Stop.” She held up her hand, as though to hold back the flood of words that threatened to tear down her resistance. “There’s nothing you can say that’s going to change my mind.”
“So that’s it?” Frustration laced his words. “You’re just going to reject the idea of us without even giving us a chance?”
This conversation was breaking her heart. “We wouldn’t have a chance. The cards are stacked against us.” The admission caused tears to prick the backs of her eyes. “Don’t you see that?”
“No. I don’t.” There was a hard edge to his voice that she’d rarely heard before.
“I tried to tell you that we are better off as friends.”
“Do you really believe that?” His gaze searched hers. “Because I don’t.”
Did she believe it? Or was it her fear speaking? Was Jackson right? Could they be something more? As the questions accumulated in her mind, she realized the answers didn’t matter. She shoved away the questions and ignored the mounting ache in her heart.
What could she say for him to let go of the idea of them together? Because she didn’t want to be responsible for him giving up a career that he’d worked so hard to climb to the top of. Because, eventually, he would resent her for making him give up his successful career.
And she couldn’t turn her back on the chocolate shop that she’d just opened. Not only did she love it, but she owed her grandmother for helping to make her dream come true. Not to mention that she had a business loan to repay. None of that could happen if she were to turn her back on Totally Chocolate and follow Jackson to London.
“Jackson, we’re friends. There can’t be anything more.” She struggled to keep the wobble out of her voice. “I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. That was never my intention.”
She turned her back to him as she scraped the chocolate from the marble slab. The curls of chocolate would be used on the chocolate cake that was now cooling before she could frost it.
She sensed Jackson lingering behind her—staring at her—as if he was thinking of what he could say next to change her mind. Tears pricked the back of her eyes. She blinked repeatedly. She was not going to cry now. She wasn’t going to let him see how much she truly did care about him.
And then she heard his retreating footsteps. The breath caught in the back of her throat. It stayed there until she heard the back door open and close. Only then did she allow the air to whoosh out of her lungs in a sob.
She knew in that moment that things between them would never ever be the same. There would be no more sitting around the fire pit and making s’mores. There would be no more sled races. No more reminiscing about their past.
She’d hurt him with her rejection, but surely he had to see that it was for the best. He couldn’t give up his successful career any more than she could give up her dream of operating Totally Chocolate.
She told herself it would be okay. She was used to not having Jackson around. But her heart felt as though it had just been broken in two.
Anxious to go home and indulge herself in some junk food, she swiped away the tears from her eyes. She had a cake to frost, and then she would go home, regretting how things had worked out with Jackson. She already missed him.