24. Ivy
24
IVY
M y first day back on the job and I felt a bit anxious. I told James I would be back on the third, but I stayed another full week. When I arrived at his house on the tenth, he wasn't home—away on business, Marna told me. I was relieved. The morning sickness that started out as a slight annoyance had ramped up, just like I feared it would, though I found that avoiding greasy foods helped.
Now I stood next to Ginny and Craig, my first new employees for Event Queen, as they assembled more of the one-hundred-plus centerpieces I needed for James's Valentine's gala. It took roughly an hour per centerpiece, which was way longer than I had, considering I had to do backdrops and garland, and floral arrangements too. And it felt amazing to be able to hire people to work with me, though I did miss my old gang, which Mike poached.
"They're perfect, guys. You're doing so well." I smiled and rested my hand on Ginny's shoulder, and she glanced up at me in gratitude for my compliment. Her blonde hair was streaked with light blue in honor of the season of winter that had firmly gripped all of Wisconsin in its clutches. I thought it was nice.
"I'm so glad you like them… I'm so honored to be working with you, Ms. Hart." Ginny smiled, and I felt a pinch in my chest. Every time she or Craig said my name like that, I thought of James, who would never say my first name unless I forced him to.
I nodded and walked away before they could say any more, and I turned toward the back wall of the hotel ballroom. I'd taken measurements previously for the large tapestry that was coming, but I was still nervous. I'd ordered a hand-painted design from a local artist to represent James's company's reach in the area and what he's done for all of Lover's Bay and the greater Green Bay area with his innovation. Of course it was Valentine-themed too, so it would be appropriate, but I hoped it would touch his heart.
"So you'll be done on the thirteenth… That's one month and three days. Then what will you do?" Kevin folded his arms over his chest as he stopped beside me and stared at the wall with me. He'd seen my mood boards and the design I sent the artist, so he could probably assume what I was thinking. And after the arguments we'd had, I was shocked he even showed up to help me.
"Actually, I'm going to the event that night." I sighed and closed my eyes, trying harder to picture my plans and how they would look in reality. Usually, I was able to imagine things well, but lately, my emotions had clouded my inner eye.
"What? Why? We just send staffers to do that…" Kevin's eyes narrowed at me, and he pursed his lips and I knew what he was thinking. "So, will this be some new policy, or are you going to the event because of him ?" His emphasis on the word "him" grated on my last nerve.
Kevin and I had been close friends for a long time, but he was overstepping his bounds all the time. I didn't always agree with him, and sometimes, I was willing to put him in his place to stand my ground, but I knew if I didn't learn to stand up for myself, I'd be plagued by men who thought they could control me for the rest of my life. If my best friend wasn't respectful enough to listen and support me, why would any man I date do that for me?
"I don't want to talk about this," I told him, and I turned and walked away. I headed toward the center of the room where the builders were erecting the wooden dance floor over the hotel's carpeting. It was an investment for my company, something that could be taken up and reused in other venues, and I was excited about it. It could offer me a greater reach when it came to more sophisticated parties and events. Kevin had voiced his dissent,, as usual.
"Well, we're going to talk about it. You can't think I'm just going to stand back and let you fling yourself at some man because you?—"
I stopped suddenly and spun around with anger in my eyes. A few strands of hair fell from my bun and I swiped them out of my face as I cut him off. "You don’t get to tell me what to do. You aren't 'letting me' do anything. I make my own choices. You are not Mike. You're not my partner. You're not even my business partner. You're supposed to be my friend, and right now, that's what I want. If you can't support my decisions, then maybe you can't be a part of my new company."
My heart hammered against my ribs. Telling him off was the last thing I wanted to do. I cared about him, and he really did have great ideas most of the time. And maybe I was just being too sensitive after what happened with Mike. Kevin had heard me complain over and over about how Mike was too controlling and didn't allow me to work as independently as I wanted to. When it was over, Kevin was the one who was there for me. Now he was acting like a stranger at times, and I felt lost. Or maybe I read too much into his attitude and snapped.
"Ivy…" he started, and he had a tone of concern, but I was just emotional, worked up over his attitude with me and hormonal from pregnancy.
The heater kicked on from the vent above me and dusted my face, making the heat in my cheeks worse. I looked away as tears burned at my eyes. Somehow, feeling my friendship with him crumbling was worse than feeling betrayed and controlled by my ex-boyfriend. Maybe because Kevin had been there by my side before Mike ever was, or maybe because he knew my heart in ways I never let Mike know me—ways I was already letting James know me.
That said something about these three men.
"I'm done, Kevin." My lip quivered as I spoke, and I blinked out more tears. "You watched Mike manhandle me and micromanage every choice I made. You saw him take and take and take from me, and you saw what it did to me. I can't take it from you too." I wiped away some tears, and he stepped forward to take my arms into his hands, but I backed away.
"I'm just saying, you are making bad choices, and it's not the ugly artwork you want for this party. It's your fucking heart I care about. You deserve better than to be some rich man's arm candy at an event so he can throw you away later on when no one is looking. He doesn’t care about you, Ivy. You're on the rebound and you're dreaming too big. You're going to get hurt."
Kevin's words did something to my heart I never thought I'd feel.
It caused a shockwave that rippled through me and straight to my core, slicing through any hope I had that James could actually want me. I shook my head and backed away. It wasn’t Kevin's fault he was speaking wise words to me, but the way they cut me so deeply made me angry with him. He could be nicer in the way he spoke to me, but that wasn’t really his personality. Still, the emotion I felt made me reactive. It turned me into a monster I never wanted to be.
"Get out," I said softly, and I raised my arm and pointed at the door. My eyes never lost contact with his and he scoffed.
"So you're firing me? Or is this another tiff?" When he planted his hands on his hips indignantly, I wanted to change my mind and undo my words, but the look on his face egged me on.
"You're fired, and as far as I'm concerned, this friendship is over unless you can treat me with the respect I deserve. What you're saying may be true, but you don't have to be a total ass when you say things." More tears streamed down my cheeks as I thought of the baby growing inside me. Kevin had no idea, but I knew if he did, his tone would only get worse. He'd tell me I was an idiot for making that mistake and remind me how it was going to fuck up my new company, how hard I'd have to work.
Those weren't the things I needed my best friend to say, which only caused me to realize that Kevin was no true friend at all. Or if he was, he was just the wrong personality type to be able to truly be a friend to me now.
"Wow," he said, shaking his head. "So you're choosing a client over me? Because I told you you're getting too emotionally involved with him? Did you screw him too? Is that your new thing? You're sleeping with him so he gave you money? Do you know what that makes you?"
"Get out!" I shouted, and he shook his head one more time before he turned and walked away.
It wasn't Kevin's voice I heard. It was Mike's. I was right. Kevin had spent so long listening to the way Mike had treated me that he got lost in that sickening power a man can take over a woman. That wasn't my best friend, and if or when he ever snapped out of it, he had a long road to travel to get back into my good graces.
I watched him walk out and then I felt a soft touch on my arm and turned to see Craig standing there. "Are you okay?" he asked, and I saw how his jaw was clenched.
"Uh, yeah," I mumbled, wiping more tears off my cheeks.
"I thought he was gonna hurt you and I was totally gonna wail on him…" Craig's hands were balled up into fists, and I smiled sadly. It was a romantic gesture from someone who barely knew me. Though he didn't know the relationship dynamic between me and Kevin or why Kevin was being so over the top.
"I appreciate that, but I'm fine," I told him. "Go work. I'm going to wash my face." I offered another bittersweet smile and then turned and walked out of the ballroom toward the bathrooms.
As much fear and anxiety as I've had about telling James about the baby, and never once did I ever think he'd have treated me even half as bad as Kevin just had. My heart ached because I was losing people who were close to me little by little, and in exchange, all I had gotten was money for the hard work ahead of me and a new responsibility I didn't know how I would even manage. Kevin's words only made it worse, probably because I had that fear anyway, that James would think I'd gotten pregnant on purpose.
I was never trading sex for his money. It was never on my mind. The sex just happened organically because James and I were so alike. There was so much chemistry. It was why we could start a conversation before dinner that lasted well past dark and talk all the way until it was time to climb in bed and sleep. But I was a broke party planner, and he was a billionaire tech entrepreneur.
The chance of his seeing this baby as a good thing and wanting me for any reason other than as an investment was so slim, I'd sooner win the Power Ball. I didn't have a shot, and maybe I had just sent Kevin packing when I should’ve been listening to him. What had I done? What if I just sent my only friend away for good and James wanted nothing to do with me?