18. Azzie
Eighteen
Azzie
I was frozen as I watched the men kiss. On a primitive level, it was an incredible sight. Intense. Passionate.
Nearly as primal was a jealousy I didn’t want or have the right to. It burned up my throat, acrid and bitter.
“You lied to me.” The accusation slipped past my lips before I could consider it.
Zeke turned to me with one eyebrow cocked in disbelief. “Excuse me? You’re still carrying.”
“I never said I wasn’t.” Except that I’d implied it, and Zeke and I never had any sort of conversation about whether or not we were involved with other people. Rather, I made a lot of assumptions because I wanted— Needed…
This hurt was potent and raw and not my right to harbor. “I only promised not to kill you.” Instead of admitting this was my fault, I was going to double dow?—
“ You .” The new arrival spat the syllable. He vanished from his spot next to Zeke and appeared next to me, hand instantly gripping my throat. The stranger squeezed hard enough to lift me from my feet, and dug his fingers into my flesh.
My airways closed off as he pushed me back, flying and not letting go of me, even as I slammed into the wall.
I couldn’t breathe but I could still draw my sword.
He blinked from view again, and I gasped in fresh air, until I felt his body behind mine, and he wrapped a strong arm around my neck.
Thank Freya for Davyn’s you could be attacked anywhere training. I dug my nails into the man’s arm and forced us both into the wall again.
He let out a satisfying oof, his grip loosened, and I ducked, spinning to face him.
He was already gone, blinked a foot to my right, elbow coming down hard on my wrist.
The shock of pain caught me off guard and my sword clattered to the ground.
“I won’t let you take him.” His voice was hard, rattling the walls. He kicked my sword across the room toward Zeke.
It didn’t matter. Only I could wield it.
Zeke picked up the sword without hesitation, and my heart dropped into my shoes.
The stranger’s arm was around my neck again, squeezing with a force stronger than any human.
I squared my feet.
“ Enough .” Zeke’s roar echoed off the brick. It wasn’t magic, but it was effective. “ Finn . Let her go.”
The stranger squeezed tighter, and I dug my nails into his flesh as hard as I could.
“ Now ,” Zeke said.
The tightness vanished from my throat and the man—Finn—appeared next to Zeke.
I kept my distance. At least this way I could watch them both. I was such a fucking idiot. Why did I think…?
Fuck .
“You implied you were unarmed.” Zeke’s voice was cool. Emotionless.
With the rush of the fight fading, the pain was seeping in, and without my daggers, I wouldn’t be healing anytime soon. This was one of those points that seemed insignificant, but would dictate everything that happened next. If I didn’t earn Zeke’s trust again, he couldn’t work on my knife.
And none of that mattered—not the ache in my neck or the fact I might lose one or both of my throwing blades—to the voice screaming in my head to make this right. To not lose him.
That voice got me here, and it was what I couldn’t trust.
I also couldn’t ignore it.
“I forgot,” I said.
Finn coughed. “You forgot you were carrying a fucking katana?” Now that he wasn’t actively trying to kill me, I registered that he spoke with a heavy Irish accent. One that might’ve been sexy… if he hadn’t actively tried to kill me.
Zeke shot him a look, and he snapped his mouth shut.
Who the fuck had that kind of control over an immortal?
You do with Davyn .
Shut up, voice.
“I don’t think about it most of the time.” That was the truth. “It’s tucked in a pocket reality. It demands blood when I draw it. I tend to ignore it until instinct kicks in.”
“Hmm.” Zeke drew a finger down the side of the blade without making contact, and the connection I had with the weapon sang in my thoughts.
He shouldn’t be able to do that. It was mine.
He’s mi ?—
Nope. Shut the fuck up, stupid voice.
“You never asked if I was seeing anyone else,” Zeke said.
I shook my head. “No. But trust covers a lot of implications, and I can’t trust someone who cheats on their partner.”
Finn looked between us. “You and her? Kronus in Tartarus , I was gone like a day.”
“See?” I clenched my jaw.
Zeke smacked him playfully on the arm. “Knock it off.”
“What?” Finn shrugged. “You don’t touch anyone else for months, and when you do, it’s the woman who’s supposed to kill you?”
I was missing something, wasn’t I?
“We’re not…” Zeke’s nostrils flared when he sighed. “It’s not that kind of relationship. Finn and me. It’s kind of like friends with benefits?”
Finn jutted out his lower lip. “We’re more than friends.” Despite his teasing tone, I swore I heard something more meaningful underneath.
Or I was extra alert and slightly paranoid after everything that just happened.
Zeke shook his head. “Relax. That pose has to be murder on your muscles.”
“I’m fine.” Except I wasn’t. Aside from everything else, an ache ran through my neck and shoulders. My back was tight, my arms sore. I didn’t stop watching the two as I forced tension out of my muscles and stretched. “And I’m waiting for the rest of your explanation. I don’t help people cheat.”
“You just do it yourself.” Finn reached for the sword. He was inches away when a visible arc of energy zinged from the hilt and shocked him. “ Ow . What the fuck?”
“She doesn’t like strangers,” I said sweetly.
Zeke moved the sword further from Finn, whose scowl deepened. “ Anyway .” Zeke bit off the word. “I wasn’t hiding him from you, Azzie. Finn and I are friends. That’s it.”
“Friends who give each other welcome home kisses.” I wanted the just friends to be true almost at least as much as I knew I shouldn’t care. I was leaving when this business transaction was finished.
No.
My own reaction made me mentally wince.
“Not until today.” Zeke’s voice was flat. “It’s not cheating. He fucks around, I’m allowed to do the same. We’re honest about it.”
I believed him, despite not wanting to. Despite this being another bad decision in a string of them today.
“You have a guardian too, don’t you?” Finn asked.
I nodded. “But you’re not a Berserker.”
Finn scoffed. “No. I’m a god. You and him…?”
“What?” Oh. Realization dawned on me. “No. We don’t fuck.”
Finn shrugged. “Your loss.”
“His loss. I promise,” Zeke said.
Heat flooded my cheeks, and I bit back a smirk of pleasure. I didn’t want to go when this was done. Whatever pull I had to Zeke, it didn’t want to be ignored. I wanted to stay with him. Get to know him. Have him inside me again and again…
“I didn’t mean to hide the sword.” I let the sincerity flow into my words. “I didn’t even think about it until I was threatened.”
Zeke picked it up by the hilt, flat of the blade pointed at his arm and pommel extended to me. “We can’t do this over and over if we’re going to stay together.”
“Are we?” I approached and took the sword from him, and held it with the tip pointed at the ground. “Staying together?”
“We have to keep an eye on each other.” Zeke’s logic was non-existent. “Makes sense, doesn’t it?”
Not in any way, under any circumstances. “Maybe?”
“Neither of us wants to do this. If we’re together, we each know what the other is up to. There won’t be any running into each other two months or two years down the line with some sort of surprise! Some asshole convinced me to do this .”
That was so simplistic. There were bigger holes in his idea than the double-wide doors on this converted barn. “Deal.” I couldn’t believe I was doing this, but I also couldn’t imagine not doing it. I shifted my sword to my left hand, and raised it enough to press a slice into my palm.
“No, no, no.” Finn shook his head.
Was he going to be a problem? Davyn might be. This would take some explaining when he found me. “I won’t kill you, or try to, to fulfill a prophecy. And I won’t let anyone else do so either.”
Zeke extended his hand, and shot Finn a glare when the god tried to stop him.
I pressed the edge of my blade into Zeke’s palm as well, and he sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth. I swore I heard the sword hum when our blood mingled on the polished steel.
“Agreed,” Zeke said. “I won’t kill you or try to, to fulfill a prophecy. I won’t let anyone else do so either, and fuck it, I’ll even help you ascend.” He shook my hand.
I’d never done this before. Was I supposed to?—
A faint whistle sang in my head, and an invisible warmth wrapped around us. It started pleasant, but quickly turned sharp, squeezing until the pressure was more than uncomfortable and I thought spikes might penetrate my skin.
Then the sensation vanished.
“I think that’s it.” Zeke dropped his hand.
Both of our wounds were gone. The smears of dark red on our hands were the only indicator of what we’d done. That, and the blood drying on my sword.
Zeke handed me a soft cloth, and I wiped the weapon clean before sheathing it again. The moment it was home and I let go, the blade and scabbard vanished.
“Fucking idiots.” Finn shook his head and walked out of the building.
“I like him.” I didn’t try to hide my sarcasm.
Zeke rolled his eyes. “Give him a chance. He doesn’t want to see me hurt.”
I knew someone like that. Speaking of, “If I’m staying here, I need to let Da— My… guy know where to find me.” That didn’t sound awkward at all. “I’ll go make a call, you go tell Finn… something?”
“Tell your Da-Guy I’m not the fighter you are. If he attacks me when he meets me, that could be bad.” There was a hint of teasing in his voice.
“I’ll do what I can.”
I wandered outside, in the opposite direction of Zeke, and called Davyn. I wasn’t surprised when there was no answer, but that didn’t stop the disappointment from slipping in. I called Enid next, to let her know that her lead worked out, and that Davyn could find me here when he was ready.
“Be careful,” Enid said before I hung up.
“I will.” I pocketed my phone and leaned against the nearest wall. It was quiet here. The occasional car in the background, and a distant voice once in a while, and that was the only sound. I held my hand in front of my face and the smudge of dried blood glared at me.
What was I doing? The idea of staying here felt good, and that terrified me. I’d just made a blood oath with a man I barely knew. Which may or may not be more dangerous than fucking him a few hours before that.
Memories of Ulf rushed into my head. I hadn’t thought of him in the nearly three years since we left him behind, but I’d made a series of mistakes there, each of which could’ve been fatal.
Seeking out the prophecies hadn’t panned out better than hiding from them. Given the destruction I left in Salt Lake City, I was already in the negative for the damage I’d caused.
Zeke was the one part of this that had me the most out of sorts. The way I was reacting to him wasn’t like me. One decision after another that made no sense. I’d finally found another piece of the prophecy puzzle in Salt Lake, and it was horrifying, and then him… This was nothing like I expected.
I couldn’t hide from my destiny and I couldn’t chase it down. What was I supposed to do?
“There you are.” Zeke’s voice cut through the thoughts, and my mind instantly stilled.
All except for that one bit telling me this was idiotic. “Hey.”
“Are you all right?” He joined me.
I pushed the doubts aside. I was here. It was going to take three days to get my knife back, and Davyn should be here before then. “I’m good. Is everything else?”
“Yeah.” He furrowed his brow. “Well, no. But it will be. Finn will be nice for me, and you’ll win him over with your charming personality.”
My loud laugh slipped out before I could stop it. “You’ve grossly misinterpreted how personable I am.”
Zeke smirked. “I’m comfortable with my assessment. Come on. I’ll show you where you’re staying.”
As we moved through the place, the layout struck me as odd. Not so much like a place that was meant to be lived in, but it reminded me more of a business. A kitchen with a large space for eating, and a lot of cupboards, but no real place to cook, and a living room down a long hall, with a single door on one wall, and no windows.
“The layout here is unusual.” I wouldn’t say bad , but it made me curious.
His chuckle came easily. “It used to be an office building. A guild hall for a local blacksmithing group. They closed, and it was available when I was looking to buy, so I converted the offices to rooms and… voila.” Zeke gestured broadly.
“That’s convenient.”
A shadow clouded his expression. “Sure. An appropriate property coming up for sale right when I had life insurance money to—” He clenched his jaw.
In other words, right as he lost someone important. The perfect anything still sucked ass if getting it at the right time was because of death. I didn’t know what to say besides, “I get it.” How many more random, shitty things did we have in common?
He gave his head a hard shake. “You room.” He headed in a direction that took us as far from the forge and his room as possible. “This is where my clients stay when they want to be close. You have privacy if you want it, but if you want to mingle, you have full access to the house, the kitchen, and anywhere that isn’t locked.”
“Should I stay away from the secret door marked do not enter with the loud music coming from inside?” I tried to push some teasing into my question. To lighten the mood.
“You probably should. Finn does things in there.”
“ Things ?” Were we still joking? It was hard to tell from Zeke’s tone.
Zeke nodded solemnly. “He’s never told me what, but there are a lot of pillows. With little holes in them. And they’re stiff.” One corner of his mouth tugged up.
The implication set in, and I made an exaggerated sour face. “ Eww .”
His laugh was back, though it still sounded strained. “I have a safe that’s locked because it has dangerous things. Your door locks, coded to you, for the same reason.”
“Am I a dangerous thing?”
Zeke looked me over. “Most likely.” He didn’t sound concerned.
He programmed the lock to my fingerprints, and we finished the tour.
“Speaking of Finn, where did he go?” I may be giving Zeke far more trust than I should, but his friend didn’t get the same pass. The god set me on edge.
“Around usually. How do you spend your evenings?” Zeke asked.
I go to bed early. I sleep a full eight hours. I should really get some rest now . All of that was a lie, but it would give me an excuse to hide in my room.
I didn’t want to call it a night. I scour the prophecies looking for any hint of what I should be doing next .
Nope. Didn’t like that either.
“We watch movies.” That was true too. Davyn had introduced me to some incredible, and some incredibly bad, titles.
“Do you have a favorite genre?” Zeke led us toward the lobby-turned-living-room again.
“Da— We— I love the movies from different eras.” Regardless of quality, they were all entertaining.
Zeke gave me a raised eyebrow look. “You’re going to have to tell me their name eventually. Unless you want me to guess.”
“She calls him Daddy.” Finn’s voice came from behind.
I whirled to see him leaning against the doorframe. If he could sneak up on me, if Zeke could, I needed to be more careful. “I don’t.” I might. It would certainly fluster Davyn. But now I probably never would, out of spite.
“Daddy Davyn,” Finn said.
There was my missing tension. “I never told you his name.”
“You didn’t have to. You said he was a Berserker. There aren’t many of those taking care of little girls, and you’re not a blond reincarnated Valkyrie.”
I bristled more than I wanted to at the phrase little girl .
“Could we not with this again?” Zeke stepped between us.
My sword wouldn’t mind a taste of Finn’s blood. I swore I heard the musical hum from the other world.
“Her blade is still disappointed you weren’t the blood it drew.” Zeke gave Finn a pointed look.
How did he know—? Zeke had to be making that up.
“I know more than just Zeke’s prophecy,” Finn spoke through clenched teeth. “So yes, I know who you are, Azrael, and I know a lot about where the fates say you’re going. And I know who Davyn is.”
That made a painful amount of sense. The most straightforward and reasonable thing about this encounter.
Finn pushed away from the wall and strode past us. “And if he’s got you watching classic movies, he needs to move on. It doesn’t do anyone any good to linger in the past.”
“I’m certain that’s not what he’s doing.” I joined Zeke and we followed Finn the rest of the way into the room. Davyn had shown me how the story telling had changed over the decades, and while I didn’t appreciate some of the older titles like he did, seeing the differences was fascinating.
“Besides,” Zeke said. “If he liked them then, he can still like them now. You don’t have to give up what you enjoy because something new comes along. You can appreciate both.”
Finn looked me over. “Uh-huh.”
The possessive as fuck kiss that Finn gave Zeke earlier flashed through my thoughts. I had no doubt they were talking about more than movies.
I wanted to keep the conversation simple. “Do you only watch modern movies?” I asked Finn. “Is there a span of years that qualifies? For instance, if it’s more than five years old, you’re done with it?” I was genuinely curious how he thought this should work.
He shook his head. “I’m simply saying that all other things being equal, if the choice is between the old and the new, then maybe it’s time to move on….” He twisted his mouth as if he’d just realized he was on a side of this discussion he didn’t want to be on.
“Fine. I don’t want to get philosophical about movies.” Or be involved in thinly veiled conversations about whether or not I should be here. “I personally like the ones that require minimal thought. Like Speed. ”
“ Fast and the Furious, ” Finn countered.
Zeke threw up his hands. “Holy shit, the two of you are the same kind of weird.”
His reaction cracked the tension inside me, though I wasn’t sure why. It might be because the exaggerated exasperation, plus the movie titles, were a reminder that not everything had to be examined through the lens of will this incite Ragnarok ?
“You like the intellectual movies?” I asked Zeke.
Finn snorted. “No. He likes a different kind of stupid. Not that Vin Diesel is stupid.”
I twisted my face in disagreement. “I mean… Pretty can still be dumb.”
“You made that too easy.” Finn pointed at me. His tone slid toward lighter.
I shrugged and gave him my sweetest smile. “I’m waiting for you to prove otherwise to me.” Because now that Finn wasn’t trying to kill me, I was willing to admit he was attractive. Thick white hair that flopped over one of his green eyes. A lean but strong build on a frame that was as tall as Davyn. A hidden pain that I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to uncover.
“Says the woman wearing her shirt inside-out.” Finn reached over and plucked at an exposed seam on my top.
I looked down. How did I miss that?
“ Sucker Punch .”
It took me a moment to realize Zeke was talking about the movie and not my reaction to my lack of attention to detail.
“No,” I said at the same time Finn said, “Absolutely not.”
The visuals and choreography were incredible, but the underlying question of is this a descent into madness hit too close to home. I’d heard too many people imply that about Mom in my life, and while losing my mind wasn’t a fear for me, the movie had made me question if it should be.
Finn’s abrupt scowl made me wonder?—
Nope. I wasn’t wondering anything deep about him.
“ Jupiter Rising ,” I said. Speaking of Channing Tatum… “ Magic Mike .” Davyn wouldn’t watch those with me.
“If you like half naked men grinding on each other, we can give you that.” Finn pointed between himself and Zeke. “Show you some real sword play.”
Maybe in another life where he wasn’t a god who would rather see me dead.
“ Underworld ,” Zeke said.
I wrinkled my nose. “It’s not as much fun?—”
“—when you know the reality.” Finn finished the thought.
“Bullshit. I love John Wick and the only thing real about that are the actual guns and bikes,” Zeke said.
Ooh. Speaking of swordplay…“I love John Wick.”
“Done.” Zeke grabbed the remote from the coffee table as Finn hooked an arm around his waist, pulling them both back onto the couch.
My gut curdled. I wasn’t here to watch them cuddl?—
Zeke snagged my wrist as they fell, and yanked me down with them. The three of us landed in a tangled pile of limbs that we took longer than needed to untangle ourselves from.
This was dangerous. The thought was back. This kind of fun and letting my guard down? Idiotic.
So far though, it was fun. Was I going to ignore the high points in my life while I was waiting for the next bad thing to happen?
And if this turned out not-fine, how much worse would it be than a city block exploding because I was being hunted?