46. Zeke
Forty-Six
Zeke
As with each time we’d fought side-by-side, I knew what I needed to do without Azzie and me exchanging a single word. The instinct flowed through me without words, prompting the rune I drew. The where and the how.
And the instant Azzie dropped her hand to her side, impressions became clear thoughts. She was sacrificing herself to end this.
No . “ Azzie .” The fight smothered my shout. My heart plummeted into my shoes.
She had the ax. She was flying toward the source of the fight. Not jumping, but soaring. Her scream shook the building, and she brought the blade down on our foe. A black slimy substance splattered everywhere.
It didn’t matter. None of it mattered. Azzie lay on the ground, not moving.
I would kill them all. The fury carried new words that flowed past my lips. She was gone. She couldn’t be. This wasn’t the time or place.
Power spilled from me. Flames of rage licking inside and filling the room. I’d burn away the blackness. I’d scorch it until it evaporated in fire and blood. Until life and death were one.
I let the despair drive the power, and pushed it into every corner of the room. Except where she lay and I stood and Davyn raged. It wasn’t over. She couldn’t be gone. I’d raise every world if she was.
It all turned to ash and fluttered away in the heat. The warehouse. The others—beast and Valkyrie alike. Friend and foe. It all burned up, until nothing was left but Azzie’s body. Davyn. The empty chasm inside me.
I could rule the world like this. The power was in me. The knowledge.
I didn’t want any of that. This was the last thing I’d ever wanted, and the one thing I feared more than anything. Someone else was gone— Azzie— was gone, and I was still standing with the ability to conquer it all.
“Damn. I thought for sure she’d make it.” Finn’s voice came from behind me, and the world rematerialized.
My rage was back.
Davyn was already charging him—half man half bear racing along intricate and bright rugs toward Finn and the open door behind him.
Unlike Davyn, I didn’t need to go hands-on to hurt Finn.
It’s Finn .
So?
She’s not really gone . Reason penetrated the cloud of anger.
Davyn ripped his claws through Finn’s shoulder, pinning the god to the wall. “You will bleed for her.” Davyn’s growl was primal. His words matched my thoughts. “I’ll kill you again and again.”
“It was always going to be this way.” Finn spoke through gritted teeth, and gripped Davyn’s wrist. It was clear Finn was straining, but he wasn’t going anywhere unless Davyn let him.
I summoned another wave of cleansing flame.
“Don’t.”
Azzie .
She was standing next to me. Brushing fingers over my cheek. Approaching Davyn.
It’s a test. All just a test .
Azzie rested a hand on Davyn’s forearm. “He’s not worth losing yourself.” Her voice was strained. Tired.
The power bled from me and the fury went with it. I stumbled at the sudden weakness. What did I do?
I had no idea, but my mind was mine again.
Davyn yanked his arm back. His claws receded as Finn dropped to his knees with a gasp.
He’d heal.
I couldn’t take my eyes off Azzie. She was here again, alive. Looking between the three of us, questions in her eyes.
“Do I have something on my face?” She smudged her cheek with the back of her hand.
“Alive.” Davyn wrapped her in a tight hug.
My jealousy dragged back traces of the feeling that consumed me seconds ago, but the potency was a distant memory.
Azzie let out a dry huff of a laugh, and did a half-ass job of untangling herself from Davyn’s embrace. “Seems that way.” She rested a hand on his cheek.
Like that, his bear pulled back further, leaving more human features in place.
“I couldn’t leave you alone,” she said. “Who would keep you from becoming a murder hobo.”
Davyn snort-huffed.
Azzie turned to me, as Finn climbed to his feet behind her.
“Hey, Zee.” Her half-smile, her soft voice, were the most welcome sounds.
“Hey, A.” I reached for her and she let me grasp her fingers. My mind was my own again, but whatever I felt moments ago lingered and tasted more familiar than it should. As if I could be tipped toward that man again without much effort.
And I was okay with that.
The contact sealed cracks in a fractured psyche. This was the most fucked-up test ever. She did shit like this on a regular basis? How was she not completely mental?
Finn took a step. “Azz?—”
Davyn flung an arm out, stopping Finn from walking or talking.
With the all-consuming fury gone, I remembered what Finn had done for me. I knew he’d do so much more. But he was the reason we were here, which kept me from telling Davyn to back off.
Azzie moved to stand next to me, her shoulder pressing into mine, and slid her hand into mine with a squeeze. She was watching Finn, though. “You could be so much.” Her voice was a beam of calm in the aftermath of chaos. “You’ve always been so close to more , but then you go and do shit like this.”
Finn’s expression fell. Did that actually shame him?
“What are you talking about?” Davyn asked.
Azzie gave a hard shake of her head. “Not sure. How’s this instead? Let’s get the fuck out of here.”
Then we could decide Finn’s fate.
That sounded so final.
Then again, his plotting to destroy Azzie was final .
How did I convince myself his lies wouldn’t be a big deal when the truth came out?
Sparks flowed between us as she raised her hand, and the instinct was back. I knew without words what she needed from me and what she offered in return, and I opened myself enough for the exchange.
Azzie placed her palm on what looked like empty air, and a doorway appeared in the illusion, revealing Tania’s shop.
“Is it real?” Finn asked.
It was. I was certain. We were looking at the real exit.
“I’ll go first.” Davyn stepped toward the doorway.
A gust rushed through the room, followed by a slam , and the glimpse of freedom was gone.
“Oh, come on,” Azzie called. “We reached the main exit.”
“One of you is still lying.” Tania’s voice filled the air.
Thank Christ she was done passing me notes, but I could go through the rest of my life never hearing a cryptic answer again. “That wasn’t one of the rules,” I said.
“It isn’t. However, you’re here to face your fears, and that’s part of what opens the door, regardless of the other things you learn along the way.” Tania managed a beautiful sing-song reply while still sounding harsh and scolding.
“One of us fears telling the truth?” I frowned.
Azzie shook her head. “No. This is on me—I brought us down here, and I can’t even admit to myself what keeps me awake at night, so we can’t leave.”
“It’s Zeke. The two of you keep the fucking neighbors awake at night. Let’s go.” Finn’s flippant retort amplified my irritation again, and I shot him a lethal glare.
He shrugged. “What? We’re not here for warm fuzzies and soul baring. Every one of you is lying to yourself.”
Tania’s laugh was chilling—a crystal clear sound of amusement and derision coming from nowhere and everywhere at the same time.
Azzie dragged in a deep breath through her nostrils. “I’m terrified that the prophecies about me aren’t really about me. That people around me are getting hurt and there’s not even a good reason for it. That Mom—” She let out a long sigh.
Finn opened his mouth and Davyn’s growl silenced him.
“That Mom really was nuts and maybe I am too.”
She needed so badly for this to be real and I wanted anything but. What happened in that fight, the things I’d done, I didn’t want that anymore than I wanted to lead a revolution for a father I never met.
If helping Azzie achieve her goals meant giving the middle finger to the gods—the one I was raised to worship and those who walked among us—I was all for it. I knew that before, but this experience reinforced my decision.
“You do what you can with the information you have,” Davyn said before I could reply. “ You always do what you think is right. Your intentions are right, and in that fight, you did what you could, even though this place tried to make you believe you weren’t strong. You are. With or without whatever title the prophecies might bestow on you.”
“What he said.” I liked Davyn’s words more than mine, even if the sentiment was different.
“She owned up,” Finn shouted. “Let us out.”
Had he always been this kind of asshole?
Not to me. To most everyone else. I’d been blind. I gave Finn my full attention. “But Azzie’s not the real reason we’re in here, and we all know that. She’s not the reason we were all dragged in, and she’s not the reason we can’t leave.”
“If you want to get technical, it’s Tania.” Finn didn’t meet my gaze.
Because the things he’d kept from me, the things he swore he’d tell me one day , were bigger than he wanted me to know. “You’ve been lying to me since we met. To all of us. And this could’ve gotten us killed.”
“No.” The flippant tone in Finn’s voice was gone, replaced with a hard edge. “I have contingencies on top of contingencies, promises made and deals brokered, to keep you alive. You weren’t supposed to be here.”
“ Tsk. Come clean, Fionn,” Tania sang.
I stared him down, letting silence prompt him to speak rather than berating him.
He glowered back, and seconds ticked away.
“Leave him here.” Davyn shattered the awkward still. “He’s admitted his intent and his complicity. We— Azzie— passed her test. Keep Finn, Tania, and let us leave.”
I couldn’t do that. He’d lied to us. He’d gotten us trapped here.
He also saved me. Helped me climb out of a pit that would’ve swallowed me whole, and kept me from falling back in. Been a friend, been by my side, for the last few years. Never asked anything in return except my company.
“Zeke.” Finn stepped closer and lifted my chin to hold my gaze. “The last thing I want, ever, is for these prophecies to destroy you. For this world to take you.”
I traded a life fate would have taken regardless, for a promise made out of love.
The reason Finn said he was willing to let Kirby die without warning her. His reasons were selfish, and worse, he’d done it for himself and me .
The last few hours were still fresh in my mind—the frustration… the war—feeling as potent and real as life itself. Especially the things I saw before the others found me. “What did I see in the hallway, Tania?”
“Possible futures.”
I waited for her to offer more.
It made sense I’d see a world where I was powerful and Azzie was gone, if we were facing our fears. That didn’t feel right, though. “Was that what all of it was?”
“No,” Tania said.
Finn had confirmed the exchange I saw with him and Lugh was real. That they’d set all of this up.
I couldn’t forgive him for this, regardless of our past. “You know how I feel about Azz?—”
“No.” Finn cut me off. “ You don’t know how you feel about her or this situation, so it’s bullshit to think I should.”
I thought the lies could be ignored, and instead Finn was willing to rain down destruction to get what he wanted, the same way he had in the past.
“We need to go,” Davyn said.
I looked at Azzie, who had been uncharacteristically quiet, but I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say.
She frowned. “You don’t have to ask what I think.”
Because it was the same thing I was thinking. Regardless of Finn’s reasons, what he did was unforgivable.
But was it lock him in a trap for who-knew-how-long levels of wrong?
Finn’s growl could’ve rivaled Davyn’s. “I love you, Zeke. That’s why I do this. For you. For love.”
There were those words again, and they sounded as foul as the first time he said them. Love . That wasn’t right. I didn’t?—
He didn’t. He couldn’t.
Part of me registered a click , like a latch opening, but finishing this conversation was more important.
“We’re leaving.” Davyn’s voice was hard.
Not yet. “I can’t leave you stuck in this place, Finn.” I wouldn’t do that to anyone. “I’ll kill anyone who insists otherwise.” Somehow I knew that was something I was capable of, and the thought terrified me. “But you’re not coming home with me. I want you out of my home and out of my life.”
“Zeke, no.” Hints of pleading bled into Finn’s hard voice. “Listen to me. I can’t lose you. I did all of this for you .”
Except, “This isn’t what I want. I’ve told you from the start.”
“This is the only way you’ll survive,” Finn said.
What did I see in the hallway?
Potential futures .
That meant there was more than one path. “I’ll find another way.” I had to.
“I love you.” Finn was making me loathe that phrase.
“Promise me, Finn.” I didn’t want to do this, but everything was about semantics in this world. “Swear right now you won’t set foot in my home again, you won’t return to Shamrock at all,”
Finn clenched his fist and worked his jaw.
“Swear it now. In front of witnesses.” I pushed.
“I swear it. I won’t set foot in your home again, or return to Shamrock, until you say otherwise,” Finn said.
That wasn’t what I said, but I’d never say otherwise, so the nuance didn’t matter. “Fine. Let’s go.”
The door was already open, but one inside me had been closed off. Not just parts of my trust, but a bigger piece of me.
When we stepped into the bakery, there was no sign of Tania or Finn. Our dishes from earlier had been cleared away, but the slips of paper we’d written our fears on lay on the table. My words mocked me. This wasn’t the last time I’d have to face this fear, and I hated the knowledge.
“This isn’t what I wrote.” Azzie studied hers, then held it toward Davyn and me. “But it’s in my handwriting.”
“ The prophecies aren’t real ,” Davyn read aloud.
It was what she should’ve written. Despite having forced Finn out of my life, I couldn’t ignore the reality of his words. She and I had different goals, and it was possible she’d destroy me regardless of what either of us wanted.
I couldn’t let myself believe I didn’t have a choice. “What did yours say, Davyn?”
“It doesn’t matter.” He reached for the slip of paper where Finn had been instead. “ Losing Zeke .”
A heavy stone sank in my gut at the words. “How do we get home?” I didn’t want to linger or regret or second-guess myself, but I would be questioning what happened in there, what happened with Finn, for a long time.
“ Hello, ” Azzie called. “Tania.”
Another note appeared on the table, and I grabbed it. When you figure out who you are, I’ll see you again .
Why did I have a feeling that was meant for me? “I think we’re on our own.”
“Find us a door home, ?ngull.” Davyn turned to Azzie.
What did he just call her? Her eyes grew wide in shock, and pink spread across her cheeks. They were using terms of endearment now? In the last few hours?
The three of us walked out of the bakery and toward the nearest corner. Azzie walked with direction and Davyn followed like a proper guard bear.
Why did it feel like I’d lost something in there?
We were safe. We survived.
Despite all of us walking out intact, none of us would be the same again.