3. Chapter Three
Chapter Three
Beckett
I've been a guest of the Coburn Center for Omega Enhancement for almost a year and a half. It was my choice. A lot of Omegas aren't afforded the opportunity to make the decision for themselves for one reason or another, but I wanted to come here. It seemed like a much better life than the one I was trying to survive. Omegas aren't meant to be on their own. We don't do well with a solitary lifestyle. We need our families, then our Alphas and, hopefully, our packs. I can hold my own well enough if I have to, for a while at least, but I would prefer to keep myself out of situations that would call for it. There are exceptions for everything, of course, but I'm not one of them. I want safety, even if it's in a place like this. I'm not alone here. There are other Omegas, lots of Betas, and enough regularly circulating Alphas to keep my skin from crawling with anxiety.
My time is running out, though. I can feel it. The heat blockers only work half of the time now. Part of it is because my system has gotten so used to them, but I think a bigger part of it is my age. I'm twenty-seven. Most Omegas my age have already been mated and marked and have at least a kid or two. That's why I wanted to come here in the first place. I put myself on the market the day I came of age. I went on dates. I attended the Selections, every single one of them. It wasn't enough. In all that time, I only got a few second or third dates, and I never got a rose. I thought there must be something wrong with me so I decided to enroll at the CCOE to get help fixing whatever issue I had.
I've taken classes and attended seminars. I've learned skills and etiquette. I squeezed every imaginable speck of knowledge out of this place I could, including all the How to Please an Alpha demonstrations. I even volunteered during a few of those; thinking that maybe if I knew how to seem and appear more fuckable or breedable, then I would catch the right Alpha's eye. Nope. No roses, no matter how hard I studied and practiced any skill. It's become very clear that the problem must just be … me.
It doesn't matter. I have a plan. The next Selection is going to be in two weeks. My next heat is due in three weeks. I stopped taking the blockers well over a month ago because I knew what I wanted to do. The idea is to go into heat during the Selection.
Irrational? Yes.
Selfish? Absolutely.
Dangerous? Catastrophically.
I don't care. I can't do this anymore. I've had my fill of spending my heats with random Alphas who don't care about me. I'm tired of being passed over because of some mysterious reason I'm unable to correct. I want connection. I want a bond. I want love. At this point, I'll do whatever I have to do to get it. If that means going into heat in the middle of the next Scarlet Selection and causing a riot, then so be it. If that's what I have to do to convince an Alpha I'm worthy of a rose, fine.
I have preferences like everyone else, but the lonely years have chipped away at them until they're nothing more than a vague need. I don't care what my Alpha looks like. I don't care about societal rank. I don't have a gender preference. I'll be happy to give a female Alpha all the babies she wants. If a male Alpha claims me, then I'll have his babies until I'm too old to do it anymore. Being at CCOE and being serviced through more heats than I really want to count has taught me that everything is up for debate, including preferences.
My parents stopped checking in on me a few months after I got here. I'm the second oldest, and their only unmated child. I think my parents are tired and want to get back to their lives now that all their children are grown. I don't blame them. I know they expected more from me. That's another reason I chose to come here. I couldn't take the guilt I felt every time I looked at them or asked for help finding a chaperone. My father's quiet sigh was what truly made the decision final. I can't blame him for that, either. My sister didn't give them any trouble. She was claimed by an Alpha during the first Selection she attended. My brothers are all Betas and are biologically designed to not create problems. Problems like having to find a chaperone to go with you someplace when you're twenty-five years old. I've watched from the sideline while so many Omegas get what I want, what I need, for too long. I'm taking things into my own hands.
The heat spikes are going to be an issue, though. I've had one or two over the past week but I can feel the extra hormones building up in my system. A fiery ache is beginning to course through me and I'm going to have some hard decisions to make. I usually sign up for a heat service. I go through the scent cards, pick whatever is most appealing to me, and message the associated number at the first sign of a spike. Twenty minutes later, an Alpha who smells like everything I need knocks on my door and a little while after that they go right back out the door. For the most part, once an Alpha catches the scent of an Omega in heat, or having a spike, they descend into a rut fairly quickly. They don't tend to be choosy or overly particular about the Omega, they just want to fuck it into delirium. And that is exactly the thought process that gave birth to my plan to hopefully go into heat at the Selection. I want to explode with pheromones right in the middle of all those unmated Alphas and be carried out of there by whichever Alpha lays claim to me first.
I just have to make it through the next couple of weeks.
I'll have to be serviced through the spikes if I can't work through them on my own, but I'll manage.
I only have two things pressing me between now and the Selection. Today is the last day of my vegetarian cuisine course. I'm not a vegetarian, but I'm running out of new courses to sign up for. Even here, Omega enrichment only goes so far. I have learned a lot more about spices during this cooking class than in any of the others I've taken, though. The final test is to plan and make a four course dinner for the two other Omegas I share a kitchen station with. Karli actually is vegetarian, and Justin is running out of courses just like I am. I'll be happy as long as my food doesn't make anyone sick.
The other loose end I have to get tied up is withdrawing from the mentorship program before the end of the week. I volunteered last year. I thought helping other Omegas might help me see my own flaws a little better so I could extinguish them. The only thing I've learned since taking on the role of a mentor is that I have less patience than I thought I did, especially when it comes to watching the Omegas I'm trying to mentor collect their roses while my hands remain empty. The mentorship admin team just sent me a new contact a few days ago. I haven't even opened the envelope. I knew it would be pointless because I'm not going to be here to mentor anyone else. Even so, it's my responsibility to reach out to my new charge to let them know that another mentor will be contacting them. I don't know why the program is set up this way. It would be so much easier on both of us if I didn't have to do this myself. This really should be a phone call from the mentorship program instead of putting it off on the mentor.
I pull the cream colored envelope from my top desk drawer and open it. The picture is always the first thing I look at. Everyone gets their picture taken during the enrollment process, and that picture is distributed to all staff and support staff, including mentors. She's pretty. Short, dark hair and brown eyes. Glasses. No smile, though. Maybe she was nervous when they were taking the picture, I know I was. The name printed on the back of the picture is Tara Greene. According to the provided address, she's in my building. That's likely why they put her with me. I send a text to the phone number printed neatly underneath the name and address.
Hi! This is Beckett, your assigned mentor. Do you want to meet for drinks in the lounge?
Only Omegas are given free access to the residential buildings, and every residential building has a first-floor lounge. Any Alphas or Betas who have guest passes are only given partial access to the grounds, and CCOE security puts an approved chaperone with them for the duration of their time here. Whenever I call for a heat service, the Alphas are always accompanied by a big, no-nonsense chaperone who stays seated in front of my door until the Alpha leaves. That chaperone escorts the Alpha off of CCOE grounds and any access codes are terminated. It was a bit of a culture shock when I learned that Alphas would be chaperoned rather than Omegas, and that Omegas were given free reign of the property. That's one of the things I'll miss the most about here.
My phone chirps with a reply.
Hey! Sure! I'm in the lounge now with my friend, if that works for you?
Now is as good a time as any. I let her know I'll be down in a few minutes and run my fingers through my hair to tidy it before heading down. There is one person in the elevator when I get in. I've seen him around. He's younger than I am and very obviously isn't here because he wants to be. I smile at him when I get in but he doesn't return it. He steps back into the corner and looks away from me to stare at the doors as they close. I glance at the buttons and see the first floor button glowing, so I put my hands in my pockets and wait in silence until the doors open again. I don't have the will to try to make him feel better about things, not when I'm barely hanging on myself.
He rushes around me the moment the doors part wide enough to let him out. He smells and feels like pure anxiety and I'm relieved to be away from him. I'm naturally curious about why he's so miserable and what brought him to be here, but I'm nowhere near curious enough to put forth any effort to find out. I won't be here long enough to do anything about it anyway, so I let it go. He'll find his way.
Probably before I do.
I spot Tara sitting on a couch near the bar with a mug cradled in her hands. I don't see any friends with her, but that hardly matters. She waves at me with a big smile when she notices me. I return her smile, but sigh as I cross the room. This feels like a step towards finality, a nail in the proverbial coffin of my presence here.
“Hi,” she chirps when I get close enough to hear. “Do you want me to order you something?”
I shake my head. “No, thank you. I'm not going to take up much of your time. Your friend didn't have to leave on my account.”
“No, no. She's just gone to the restroom. She'll be right back. How's it going?”
“Good. Listen. I'm just going to come out and say it. I'm sorry, but I can't be your mentor.” Her face falls and I rush through the rest of the explanation before she has time to think it has anything to do with her. “I'm leaving the mentor program, that's all. I didn't want to start mentoring you and then have you start all over with someone else in a few weeks.”
Her face switches quickly to excitement. “Oh! That's right! The Selection. I wasn't going to go this time. I wanted to work on myself a little bit before I stepped into that arena, you know?”
“Definitely. I did the same thing when I first enrolled here. It's always better to know yourself a little better before you try to give yourself to another person. I'm glad you understand.”
“Look at that,” she says with a grin. “You came down here to turn down a mentorship, but ended up mentoring anyway. Maybe I'll see you around sometime?”
“For sure.” I return her smile.
Her friend comes back to sit next to her on the couch and I offer her another smile. “Hello. You must be Tara's friend. Nice to meet you. Are you ladies enjoying your time at CCOE so far?”
The friend nods, and Tara answers for both of them. “It's nice to be around so many Omegas. I can't believe we're at an actual lounge without a chaperone.”
I chuckle. “It's nice being around all these Omegas until our heat cycles start lining up. I'm glad you're doing well. Alright, I'll leave you and your friend to enjoy the lounge. See you later.”
~
My vegetarian dinner was a success. Karli said the fig flatbread was delicious and gave me extra praise because I managed to use figs that were the perfect ripeness. Justin's only comment was that the roasted cauliflower I made as a required side dish was as palatable as the other two hundred versions he's eaten since starting this course. I can't argue with him. I've noticed that cauliflower is one of the most overused vegetables when people start talking about recipes. Cauliflower rice. Roasted cauliflower. Cauliflower soup. Mashed cauliflower. There's only so much cauliflower a person can eat before they start to get tired of it.
I'm glad to have a little free time before the Selection, even if it's only for a week or two and riddled with heat spikes. They haven't gotten too bad, just sporadic uncomfortable blips that make it very apparent that my heat is coming on soon. Thankfully, they have all happened when I was in my room. The last time I was surprised by a heat spike when I was outside of my private quarters was embarrassing to say the least. I've been having cycles long enough that I shouldn't be caught unaware by a spike out in public.
Embarrassing. Ha. I was mortified. I had to be escorted, basically carried, to the infirmary to ride it out. I tried to rationalize it. I was already going to have to go to the medical building anyway to fill out the heat service form and select the scent cards, but everyone we passed knew what was happening despite my struggling to keep it discreet. The scent of a heat spike tends to take over an area and it was very, very obvious. That experience further solidified the fact that I need to find an Alpha of my own, and the sooner the better. Now, if I know I'm approaching a heat cycle, I do everything I can to stay in my quarters. The only reason my door will open until the Selection is for food deliveries, or a heat service if I really can't handle waiting until the Selection.