7. Chapter Seven
Chapter Seven
Beckett
I'm not filing a report, pressing charges, or anything else. It wouldn't do any good. It never does. If they had hurt me, maybe I'd feel differently; but I don't feel like it's worth the risk of retaliation. Risk. No. Guarantee. They know where I live. I might be leaving here in a couple weeks, but I'm still here now and I refuse to become another statistic because I wanted justice. Is it fair? Not even a little, but I'm more afraid of those Alphas coming back here to seek revenge than I want them to have consequences for their actions. I want them to stay gone. Sometimes, unfortunately, it seems that the best way to stay safe is to keep yourself out of the minds of the people who might want to hurt you.
I don't think they wanted to actually hurt me. Not really. I think they wanted to claim me, each one for themselves. Another Omega might want overbearing Alphas like Kyle and Josh, but I don't. The entire experience has taught me a lot about what I enjoy and what I don't. I enjoyed most of the things they did to me, and even the things that weren't my favorite were still pleasurable. What I didn't enjoy was their refusal to leave my space. Even more, I didn't enjoy the way neither of them used my name. I love being an Omega. I love every single thing about it. I absolutely drip whenever an Alpha uses my designation when they're fucking me. But the fact that neither of those Alphas spoke my name the entire time they were here sat heavy and cold inside me. It wasn't right, and that was one of the big reasons I wanted them to leave.
The biggest and most important reason I needed them gone was because of the Selection. They were trying to trip me into going into heat early so they could trap me here. So they could fight it out and the victor could put his mark on me without my consent. I don't want an Alpha like that. Or one who refuses to say my name.
I'm picking up my suit and mask for the ball today. I had the last fitting a couple of weeks ago to make sure it wouldn't need any new alterations. I've gone all out for the balls before. I've done an entire themed costume. I even wore what was essentially a men's ballgown before. None of it ever caught anyone's eye. I've gone very basic and simple with my ball attire before, too. Just a classic black suit with a plain white mask. Dressing down never caught anyone's eye, either. This time, hopefully the last time, I'm going with a very classy suit with tails and all the extra trim, but none of the flash. No wild or bright color for the sake of attention. No feathered or jeweled mask, I'm going to use one of the ones the sponsors provide at the door. I won't need the extra touches this time. I figure going into heat in the middle of the ballroom should be enough on its own.
I've only had one spike since everything happened. I didn't call the service. I don't intend to ever call them again. If I can't manage the spike on my own, then I'll take a low dose suppressant before I'll call for another Alpha. It isn't worth the risk.
Another decision I've made is that I'm leaving CCOE regardless of what happens at the Selection. I'll get a job and an apartment and sign up for one of the many matching apps available. If I lose patience, or heart, with waiting to find an Alpha through one of the apps, well, then maybe I'll resign myself to never having an Alpha or pack. Some Omegas never match with an Alpha. Sometimes it's their choice to remain solitary and they lead perfectly fine lives. I will become a solitary Omega if I have to and I will lead a perfectly fine life as well.
I don't have many belongings in my quarters at CCOE. Mostly clothing and necessities. Having stuff never really appealed to me. I do have nesting supplies, but that's mostly soft blankets with a few very specific pillows. My mother needed everything but the curtains on the windows for her nests, so I think needing less is a good thing in my situation. Maybe that will change if I find my Alpha. It's possible that having an Alpha will trigger the need for an intensely luxurious nest, and I'm sure my Alpha will go out of their way to provide for that nest like my father provides for my mother's. It's also possible that I might compensate for my lack of an Alpha with building a much more intricate nest, but I'll deal with that if it happens. For now, though, I am determined to find an Alpha.
~
There has been no sign of either of the Alphas from the heat service coming by or watching me. I'm honestly surprised. The way they were talking, and refusing to leave, gave the distinct impression that they wouldn't be so easily dissuaded. Either of them. I'm glad they haven't come back. I don't know what I would have done if they did. Calling the authorities is hit or miss; and even if an officer does end up coming, the Alpha sniffing around will be long gone by the time they get there.
Tiffany has called a couple of times, just to check in. It felt nice to have someone follow up about the situation; and about me. I'm not a social reject or pariah. My family doesn't hate me. I'm just a natural loner. I'm also an Omega, and Omegas crave attention. No matter how old or young we are, what our professions are, how many friends or siblings we have, we need attention and for someone to care about and for us. We can't help it. So, Tiffany taking time out of her day to check on me ticked some Omega boxes that were desperately empty; especially this close to my heat.
I just want to go to the Selection tomorrow and find my Alpha. That's all. With any luck, the right one will offer me their rose before I throw myself into heat, and they can get me out of there before something unfortunate happens. I'll have the little vile with the hormone and pheromone cocktail already tucked safely away into the inside pocket of my suit jacket. My plan is to drink it down during the first half of the ball if it looks like I need to. After I swallow it, there will be no going back.