Chapter Seventeen - Chapter Sixteen
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Chapter Sixteen
“WHAT WAS HAPPENING ?” I murmured, my voice barely a whisper, still in shock as I dressed. My hands trembled uncontrollably, fumbling with the fabric. Just minutes ago, I was wrapped tight in Jarrod’s arms, feeling so happy and complete. Then, without warning, he jumped out of bed, his face pale and stricken with fear, and ordered me to leave. He wouldn’t even look at me as he stormed out, leaving me alone and shattered.
I knew I was being dumped, but I couldn’t let it sink in.
Not yet .
This was going to cut so deep that I had to hold it together long enough to get out of here. I left his room in a daze, feeling the cold emptiness of the hallway swallow me as I wondered how I was going to get home.
Margie and Casimir were probably still at the reception, but they’d ask too many questions, and I’d break down. I couldn’t face that. At the end of the hall, I glanced into the bar area and saw Sean talking to Adam. I’d gotten to know Sean over the past few weeks; he was a nice guy. I headed his way, trying to keep my face a blank mask.
“Sean,” I said, coming up beside him. “Adam,” I greeted, forcing a smile that felt like it would crack my face.
Sean smiled back. “What’s up, Mandy?”
The name jarred me, but I quickly remembered he didn’t know my real name. “Can you give me a ride home?” I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.
He gave me a long look, his piercing green eyes searching mine. He glanced behind me, probably looking for Jarrod. Something in my eyes must have given me away because he didn’t probe. “Sure,” he said, looking at Adam. “I’ll be back in time for gate duty.”
“Take your time. Davie and I can handle it,” Adam replied, his expression softening as he glanced at me. My eyes were betraying me, no doubt.
“My bike’s out front,” Sean said, his hand gentle on my back as he led me outside. The cooling evening air hit me like a slap, making me realize just how numb I felt. “Are you okay?” he asked, handing me a helmet from his saddlebag.
“Yeah, I just need to leave,” I said, taking the helmet and putting it on. “You can drop me at the dance studio where I work,” I instructed, giving him directions. There was no way I was going home until I cried this out.
He straddled his bike, and I climbed behind him, holding onto his sides. “Got you,” he replied, the engine roaring to life. The ride seemed endless, and my chest felt hollow, as if Jarrod had ripped out my heart and taken it with him.
Finally, he pulled into the studio parking lot. I jumped off as he killed the engine. “Thanks, Sean. I really appreciate the ride.”
“Sure you’re okay?” he asked, his eyes searching mine.
With a shaky smile, I said, “Yeah.” I hurried away, fumbling with the door, and finally let the tears flow as I slid down the wall onto the cool wooden floor, my body shaking with sobs.
“Mandy?” I heard from the doorway and looked up to see Sean. “You forgot your purse,” he said softly, holding it up. He slowly came over, sliding down beside me, his arms going around my shoulders. “You don’t have to tell me what happened, but sometimes a shoulder to cry on helps.”
I gave him a sad, grateful smile and held on tight, letting it all out until, with a final shuddering breath, I calmed down, pulling back. “I soaked you,” I whispered, feeling incredibly awkward.
He stood and held out his hand to help me up. “A bath now and then never hurts,” he joked, trying to break the tension.
“Thank you... for everything,” I said, kissing his cheek. “But you better get back. I’m fine now, really .”
He gave me a killer smile. “Anytime.” Then he walked out, as if he knew I was still barely holding on.
In the bathroom, I washed my face, reapplied my makeup, and started the short walk home. Each step felt heavy, my heart aching with every thought of Jarrod. I felt so humiliated and foolish. It felt like Jarrod had just been playing with me. But his expression, the abruptness of it all, and the fear in his eyes made it seem like there was more to it.
It almost felt like it wasn’t about me at all.
The tears threatened again, but I forced them away, painting a smile on my face as I walked up to my door. Taking a deep breath, I went inside, smiling big for Dad and Ellie. “Madeline?” Dad said, giving me an odd look. “I didn’t expect you for hours yet.”
“I wasn’t feeling good. I think it must have been something I ate, so I asked Jarrod to bring me home,” I lied, praying he didn’t see through it. But his eyes said I failed.
“Oh, well, then you better go lay down,” he said, concerned.
I ruffled Ellie’s hair, kissed her cheek, and did the same to Dad. “No, I’ll sit with you while you eat.”
He smiled, understanding, as I sat down, and he got back to getting dinner ready. I needed this normalcy, this reminder of what really mattered. Like Asher, I would get over Jarrod. It just takes time.
HOURS LATER, I found myself back at the clubhouse, my mind swirling with disbelief and a crushing guilt over how I’d treated Madeline. She didn’t deserve any of it. I could have let her go with more kindness, more care, even if she would have hated me just the same. But Kezia’s return had forced my hand, her shadow a constant haunt.
The clubhouse was still alive with partiers as I walked in, my thoughts a chaotic mess. I doubted Madeline was still here, and the realization that I had been her ride made my stomach churn.
I was a screw-up, plain and simple.
Heading to the bar, I grabbed a stool and signaled for a beer, running my hands through my hair in frustration. My eyes scanned the room, searching for any sign of her.
“Here you go,” Adam said, setting the beer in front of me.
Before he could walk away, I asked, “Have you seen Madeline?”
“Madeline?” he echoed, confused, then understanding dawned. “Oh, Mandy. Yeah, she left with Sean.”
“Sean?” I snapped, anger flaring up. I expected one of her friends to give her a lift, not another man. I had no right to be pissed, but I was.
“She asked him for a ride,” Adam said defensively, seeing my anger. “She seemed sad, and you know Sean, he wasn’t going to say no.”
Yeah, Sean, the regular fucking saint. I took a long drink of my beer, trying to calm down. “Is he back?”
“Yep, he’s got gate duty,” Adam replied, moving back to his work.
I clenched my jaw, fighting the urge to go interrogate Sean. I hated Kezia so much in that moment, hated her for taking Madeline away from me. The one woman that I wanted and truly needed.
“Where the hell did you go?” Midnight asked, sliding onto the stool next to me. “I saw you ride out of here like hell on wheels.”
“I just needed a ride in the wind,” I said, evasively.
“What happened? One minute you’re strutting around with Madeline, and then you bolt out of here without her. Next thing I see, she’s leaving on the back of Sean’s bike.”
He took her on his fucking bike.
My fist hit the bar before I could stop it, drawing the attention of everyone around me. I took a deep breath to calm myself. “I don’t want to talk about it. Got me?”
Midnight gave me a long, searching look before standing up. “Fine. You know where to find me when you do.”
I watched him walk away, then stood up, needing to be alone. Not in my room, not with Madeline’s scent still lingering in my bed. I headed outside, seeking a quiet spot away from the noise.
Pushing open the door, I saw the bonfire lighting up the night, everyone laughing and having a good time surrounding it. Their happiness grated on my nerves. “Valley?” Tracy’s voice came from beside me. “Are you okay?”
“I’m just fucking great. Why do you ask?” I snapped, looking at the night sky in irritation.
“I was just worried about you,” she said softly, touching my arm and backing away when I jerked. “Why are you so different? So mean?”
“I’m this way because everyone, including the devil himself, won’t leave me the hell alone,” I snarled, stomping away and straddling my bike. I tore away from the clubhouse, riding aimlessly until I found myself across the street from Madeline’s apartment. I had no idea what I hoped to gain and her dark windows offered no answers, but the chain that bound me to her pulled tight, refusing to let go.
I sat there for what felt like hours, my mind a storm of regret and longing. The street was quiet, the only sound the distant hum of traffic and the occasional bark of a dog. I couldn’t see her, couldn’t reach her, but I could feel her presence as if she were right beside me.
Just then, the soft glow of a lamp illuminated one of the windows. My heart leaped into my throat as I watched a silhouette move behind the curtain. It was her. Even from this distance, I could sense her sadness, her confusion. The urge to go to her, to beg for forgiveness, nearly overwhelmed me.
But what could I say?
What excuse could I offer that would make sense of the mess I’d made? I was too deep in this nightmare with Kezia to drag Madeline into it. She deserved better— better than me , better than the danger I’d put her in.
As the light flickered off and her silhouette disappeared, a crushing weight settled over me. I started my bike, the engine’s roar filling the silent street, and tore away from her apartment. The wind whipped past me, but it couldn’t blow away the image of Madeline’s sad eyes or the hollow ache in my chest.