Chapter 11 #2
Alexander did just that. In minutes Tobias stood behind a table, an apron wrapped around his waist, a soup ladle in hand.
The next hour or so went by quickly as he served out bowls of soup, chatting with those who continued to congregate within the church.
Tobias couldn’t fathom it, but Alexander was feeding hundreds of people.
This wasn’t how the Damianos clan operated. Charitable acts suggested humanity, which was something a born vampire couldn’t possibly be familiar with. And yet here the truth was, standing before Tobias, debunking his assumptions.
“Without the funding, we’d have shut down years ago,” the woman beside Tobias said.
“Alexander is a saint in our eyes. Five years ago, we could barely open our doors once a month, and since he offered his contributions, we can see that the Oxford community is fed five nights a week. It’s been life changing, and the food is only the beginning. ”
Tobias learned more about Alexander over the next hour than years of watching from the shadows could have taught him.
With the information the woman gave him, and the knowledge he already had, he was piecing together a new picture.
But it was one comment she said that made Tobias politely move away.
“Without him, all these people would struggle. Alexander isn’t a man who looks for praise, but it is true. His ability to stick a hand in his pocket has helped more people – and will continue to – than any of us could possibly contemplate helping in our entire life.”
All Tobias could focus on was his need for fresh air. A quick glance at Alexander, and he saw how preoccupied he was, fussing over a small child cradled in her mother’s arms.
Alexander didn’t notice Tobias leave. Even as he got outside, the tightness around his chest refused to budge.
More people were walking up the path to the church, ready to eat and have time out of the cold.
Tobias was far too weak to see their smiles.
To listen to their thanks. So, he slipped into the shadows and ran.
He ran from Alexander, the church, the graveyard… from this version of a man he never believed possible. He didn’t stop until the church was far behind him.
The entire way home, Tobias couldn’t rid his mind of Alexander. It was torture. Not only had he worked himself under Tobias’ skin, he was entirely occupying his mind too – and for all the wrong reasons.
He had to focus. He had to remember what this was all for.
Just because Alexander had a conscience didn’t mean he wasn’t a monster.
The soup kitchen was likely a selfish endeavour, repaying years of pain his family left in their wake, done not to help people but to assuage Alexander’s own guilt.
No doubt his contributions were nothing but a drop in the bucket of the vast Damianos wealth.
And yet, Tobias just couldn’t bring himself to believe that.
He’d just got through his front door – and had started to feel guilty for leaving – when his phone began to buzz.
He took it out, knowing it was Alexander who was calling.
He pressed himself against his door and slipped down to the floor.
He willed for Alexander to give up, but he rang again once the first call went to voicemail.
Tobias had no desire to pick up, until the paper bag full of books caught in the corner of his eye.
He swiped his thumb across the screen and answered just at the last moment.
“Tobias?” Alexander’s muffled voice was heavy with worry. “Are you alright? Where are you?”
“Hi, professor.” Was that all Tobias could say? Remorse practically wrapped hands around his throat and squeezed.
“You left. Again.”
He pinched his eyes closed, exhaling through the tension in his body. “I’m sorry.”
“Is everything okay?”
Tobias longed to scream down the phone, to tell Alexander to stop caring.
But he couldn’t bring himself to do so. Because if he had learned one thing tonight, it was that he was more of a monster than Alexander.
And the truth of that hit hard. It conjured an ache, deep beneath his ribs, one that Tobias fought the urge to claw free. “Tonight was lovely, thank you…”
“But?” Alexander added, reading his mind.
“But you were busy, and I didn’t want to take you away from those people. They deserve your time.”
Tobias could picture Alexander’s expression just from the long exhale he released. “And what if I deserve you? What if you were what I wanted tonight?”
Tobias felt sick with guilt. It was as if his humanity had returned to punish him for feeling anything else but hatred for the man on the other end of the phone. “Tomorrow night, I’m yours.”
“Yeah?” Alexander asked, hope practically dripping from his tongue.
Tobias forced a smile, hoping it would be heard in his voice. “If you’ll have me back, after I left you without saying goodbye tonight.”
“I’m beginning to think I’ll always have you back, Tobias.”
“Goodnight, professor,” he said, wishing the phone call would end before he broke, but unable to be the one to hang up.
“Yes, it has been, hasn’t it,” Alexander replied smoothly, his tone no different to a flirtatious wink. “I look forward to our next adventure tomorrow.”
Tobias cut off the call as an overwhelming anger rose over him. Anger at himself for being so pathetic, and at Alexander for being so different than what he was supposed to be.
He threw his phone against the wall, and the sound of the screen cracking echoed the way his self-control had shattered. Tobias stayed like that, head in his hands, breathing uneven and uncontrolled, until light spilled in through his apartment window.
There was no sleep that night. Because Tobias knew that the moment he closed his eyes, Alexander Damianos would be waiting. And he wasn’t sure where the line between dream and nightmare was when it came to him.