Chapter 15
TOBIAS
Tobias stared around his room, knowing he couldn’t allow Alexander to step inside.
It had been turned upside down. Clothes were strewn across the floor, holes left in walls from where Tobias had punched through plasterboard.
Not a single piece of furniture was left standing.
No doubt one of his neighbours had heard the noise and called the landlord – or worse, the police.
After leaving Alexander in the lecture hall, flushed with the afterglow of sex, he had waited in the courtyard outside until the professor rushed out, then stalked him, slipping back into old habits, until they reached one of the very spots Tobias had vowed never to return to.
He’d watched from a distance as Alexander traced his fingers over the spot where Tobias had nearly killed that student.
Panic clung to Tobias, making his skin feel more like ice as Alexander searched the crime scene for a scent. Even if Tobias wanted to pretend it was all a coincidence, the phone call that followed proved otherwise.
Alexander was looking into the attacks. And worse, he’d discovered a connection.
The victims were all tied to him, because of course they were.
The foreign exchange student had been brought to Oxford to help with Alexander’s research.
Tobias had ensured he was in the line-up but hadn’t been offered the position.
So he’d attacked the grad student, hoping his phone would ring with good news.
Then there was the applicant for the administrative assistant role that had come up.
This one was slightly more suited for him – he could at least claim that he had experience sorting mail and helping to answer emails – but again, the position was never offered to him.
So he found the man who’d got it, brought him to the very same spot Alexander was sniffing, and drank his veins nearly dry.
Tobias had been sure he was next on the offer list, but they put a hold on the job offer out of respect for the family and all the traumatised students.
The third attack, and last, had got Tobias the position as an archive librarian. If Alexander had the opportunity to look into that, he would find out another connection tying Tobias to all three attacks.
He couldn’t let that happen. He wouldn’t. But he was clutching at straws that were being snatched away from him.
How Tobias got back to his apartment was a miracle.
His anxiety and panic had sparked a bloodlust both feral and demanding.
The only thing that would sate it was feeding, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to go find a meal.
He knew, deep down, that his reaction had nothing to do with his plans failing.
If Alexander found out about Tobias, he wouldn’t be invited to Rothburn and, worse, he would likely be slaughtered before having the chance to destroy Vladimir.
But why was it that none of that mattered anymore? The real cause of his anxiety was the thought of Alexander discovering his truth. He couldn’t bear to imagine how Alexander would look at him, treat him.
Tobias had stumbled through his front door. As he’d looked around at the life he’d created all for this one purpose, knowing it was close to meaning nothing, a violent urge tore through him.
Destruction was something Tobias was very familiar with.
And it disgusted him, the knowledge that he welcomed it so easily.
The first time he had drowned in rage was the day he had been reborn, after Vladimir Damianos had taken his life and made him into a monster.
Tobias was sobbing as he tore around his apartment.
There was no wall, no furniture, no book or piece of clothing that was spared his fury.
Just like his mother and father, his darling sister.
They were all victims of the same blind rage.
He remembered it so clearly in moments like this.
Tobias usually kept the memory at bay, but now he needed it.
He needed the horror of it, and the pain, the agony, the heartbreak.
He needed the reminder of what this was all for.
Maybe then he would stop being sloppy and distracted around Alexander.
It had been on the first day that snow had fallen when the blood-covered vampire had found him.
To Vladimir, Tobias had just been a feast. Even the king of all vampires didn’t expect, when he tore into his prey’s flesh, that Tobias would survive.
Except it wasn’t survival, but punishment.
God had looked at him and turned him away.
When Tobias had woken on the icy field beyond his house, it was to the most ravenous and all-encompassing hunger of his life.
He could hear the beating of hearts, could see the flashing of aura as his father stumbled out of their home, calling his name.
Tobias would never forget the look of fear on his father’s face before he pounced.
Blood was heaven, Tobias discovered. It was peace and beauty – everything good in the world.
Once he had drained his father, whose screams were ripped from a blood-filled throat, he moved on to his mother.
He tore into her body without thought or care, breaking limbs apart, splitting skin and cracking bones.
Tobias slammed his head against his wall as the memory intensified. Flashes of his little sister, doe-eyed and frozen in fear, watching him lean down over her with his mouth parted and coated in their parents’ blood.
The horror of having to live with himself after he’d killed them all.
Tobias’ apartment was ruined, his life in tatters, his one goal distant and foggy.
It was Alexander’s phone call that stopped him before he passed the point of no return. Tobias answered, a numbness washing over him as he expected Alexander to already know the truth.
He deserved Alexander’s hatred. In a way, he almost wanted to be found out, so the charade of complex emotions could come to an end.
Tobias had to focus. He had to bury these human emotions – emotions that deserved to have died alongside his family.
And yet he hadn’t felt so human as he had in the past week since worming his way into Alexander’s life.
He had to get to Rothburn. Time was running out. Vladimir had to die. All this had to mean something.
But then Tobias’ thoughts took another turn, so suddenly that the ruined room spun.
When Tobias drove a stake through Vladimir’s heart, all born vampires in his clan would die. All of them, including his heir. Including Alexander.
This wasn’t a new fact, but why did Tobias’ knees now give out at the thought? Why did he crash to the floor, longing for it to split open and swallow him whole?
Everyone was familiar with fight or flight, but never thought of the third option – freeze.
That was what Tobias’ body did, without his consent.
Long after the phone call ended, he stayed on the floor, trying to gather himself.
He checked his phone eventually, noting that it was close to 6:30 pm.
He gathered himself up, walked outside, and waited on the busy Cowley Road.
Alexander had made it clear he was worried for Tobias’ safety, but there was no way he could allow Alexander to see his apartment.
The Aston Martin drove up the road, its low beams clearing a path through the early evening dusk. Tobias swallowed down his self-hatred, forced a smile, and waved. Although he couldn’t see through the blacked-out windows, when Alexander rolled one down and glared at him, Tobias knew he was pissed.
“Didn’t I tell you not to stand outside alone, little deer?”
Tobias shook his head. “I’m hardly alone. Look at how busy the streets are.” What he wanted to scream was I’m far deadlier than you could ever imagine.
The sarcasm was wasted as Alexander barked, “Get in the car.”
Tobias did as he was asked, walking around and opening the side door. He climbed in, sinking deep into the low seat. He probably should have pretended to fall victim to the power of suggestion that Alexander had used on the phone, but he’d forgotten in his anxious haze.
Alexander reached over and placed a hand on Tobias’ thigh, squeezing gently. “Are you alright?”
Tobias nodded, the memory of his family’s deaths still clinging on in the back of his mind. “Just trying to look for a distraction. You?”
“The feeling is mutual,” Alexander said, staring at Tobias as he just looked out the window. “We could give the soup kitchen a miss tonight, if you’re not in the mood?”
“No,” Tobias snapped. “No, I’d like to go. Anyway, they rely on you. I’d feel guilty taking you away from people who need you most.”
“And what do you need most, Tobias?”
“I just–” Tobias swallowed hard. “I need you to distract me. I’m on edge from your news, is all.”
Alexander reached over to grab his hand. “Yes, little deer. I can do that. In fact, I’ll do anything for you. Anything.”
The evening was exactly what Tobias needed.
By the eightieth bowl of soup he poured, his emotions were calming.
Alexander worked beside him, speaking with those who came for food.
Just hearing his conversation, the tone he used, the welcoming and friendly embrace he offered anyone around him, made Tobias relax.
Not completely, but enough to see sense again.
That all changed when Alexander’s phone began ringing incessantly.
“Are you not going to answer that?” Tobias asked, nudging Alexander in the side. The professor was glaring at his phone screen, lip caught between his teeth.
“No, they can wait.”
Tobias’ skin itched with discomfort. He recognised the name on the screen as Alexander’s sister. Was she calling with more news about the attacks? Had she finally worked out his link to them? How his name was alongside every applicant that had been nearly killed… for three different jobs?
“Well, it must be important. That is the sixth time she’s called.” He almost bit his tongue, but he needed to know what Maria was going to say.
The doors at the end of the church slammed open, silencing Tobias as three vampires paraded in. Tobias had to steady himself, keep his eyes down, and pretend like he hadn’t sensed the presence of other immortals.
Alexander wasn’t so subtle when he noticed the new arrivals. He froze at Tobias’ side, body stiff as stone, ladle dripping soup onto the floor.
The three vampires, who Tobias assumed were all from the Damianos family, shared the same sharp features. Their black suits and straight backs set them apart from everyone else. And they didn’t take their eyes off Alexander.
“Stay here,” Alexander hissed at Tobias, clutching the ladle like a weapon.
It wasn’t that Tobias wanted to refuse him, but the two words were laced with power.
Persuasion. It was the first time Alexander had used it on Tobias in person.
Although it didn’t work against him – Damianos vampires could only use compulsion on other vampires who shared their blood, or on mortals.
But Tobias at least recognised the weight of the words and knew, if he did anything besides what Alexander had commanded, his truth would be revealed.
Only a vampire could hope to refuse another vampire’s sway. A mortal certainly wouldn’t be able to.
Tobias didn’t speak. All he did was watch as Alexander left his side, stormed up to the other three vampires, and argued in hushed voices.
At one point he looked back, longingly, to Tobias.
There were so many emotions swirling around his aura that Tobias couldn’t pinpoint what was going on.
After a while, the three vampires left. At least that was what Tobias believed, until Alexander returned with news he was never expecting.
“I have to go,” Alexander said from across the table, the space left between them poetic considering Tobias could feel Alexander slipping away.
“Where?” Tobias asked.
“Home,” Alexander said, wincing at the word.
“There’s an issue I have to deal with at home.
Here.” He handed over the Aston Martin’s keys to Tobias, placing them in the centre of his palm and closing his fingers over them.
“You can borrow this until I can come back for you. Call a friend and ask if they can meet you at home. I don’t want you alone. ”
Tobias longed to reach over and take Alexander in his hands. To dig his nails into his flesh and refuse to let go. “Should I be worried?”
Alexander didn’t respond at first. The pause set Tobias’ mind on fire once again.
The peace had hardly lasted. “No. No, not at all. Once I take care of something at home, I’ll come back.
Promise. In fact, you’ll find my apartment keys on there.
Stay at my place. It will make me feel better while I’m gone. ”
“How… how long?” Tobias stuttered, feeling his panic rising.
Alexander leaned over the table, took Tobias’ cheek in the palm of his hand, and guided their mouths together. The kiss was a promise, a way of answering the question without words. Tobias melted into it, wishing to control himself but knowing he was failing.
“I’ll be back as soon as I can. I hear distance makes the heart grow fonder,” Alexander said as he drew back. “I suppose this will test that theory.”
Tobias didn’t reply. He couldn’t form the words. Instead, he watched Alexander walk out of the church, moving with the haste of someone overcome by worries and regrets. Tobias looked down to his hand, taking in the set of keys.
He had no intention of testing the theory that bound distance and longing together.
He had no intention of going home, or to Alexander’s apartment.
Even if he couldn’t get into Rothburn, he would follow.
Because if he didn’t, if he stayed in Oxford and drowned in the uncertainty of impending doom, more people would die at the hands of the Damianos family.
By the time Tobias looked up, his gaze was tinged red with bloodlust. He gave himself as many minutes as he could keep his body still, then he followed Alexander straight into the viper’s den.