Chapter 2 Ciara #2
Well, no, that was wrong. I’d support him. I’d always support him. He was my brother and my alpha—and part of that equation almost gave me no choice, but it felt a whole helluva lot different to just support when I was the one doing the action part.
This was going to be trickier.
I actually wanted to tell him I’d rather eat dirt.
Those were my real feelings about his lame-ass request, but there was a sorrow deep in his eyes, a plea, that I couldn’t write off right away.
“So, vampires and wolves aren’t a good mix?
” I phrased it as a question, and he shook his head.
“And you think vampires and a human will work better?” I couldn’t keep the incredulity out of my voice.
“I know it’s not ideal,” he started.
“I’ll say.” I huffed in disgust. “And why are we still working with them again?”
“They still owe us.” This time, there was steel in his voice. “And I need someone I trust making sure they deliver.”
“And if I don’t?” I made the question gentle, suggesting that I’d already conceded.
Conri knew I loved him more than anything and that I would have hung the moon each night for him if he asked me to.
I didn’t even need the alpha in him to command it.
Where others in the pack respected him and obeyed him through duty, I worked alongside the brother I loved.
His shoulders slumped a little, lending him a defeated air that had no business being anywhere near him. “I don’t actually know. There are a lot of hotheads in this pack, and this needs to be handled carefully, so…” He met my gaze.
Well, shit. I was his last hope. “But vampires are bloodthirsty savages. They…” I didn’t want to say it, but I tried again. “They…”
Conri held up his hand. “I know what they did. I know what this deal looks like to the pack and after…everything.” His eyes clouded with pain. “I know I’m judged for it. But I haven’t forgiven anyone for anything. This was between me and Nicolas Dupont.”
“And now?”
He grinned, but it was a pale shadow of his usual amusement. “And now I’m hoping it will be between you and Jason.”
I wanted to say keep hoping but I didn’t. I couldn’t. Because I had met that vampire before. Sort of. I just hadn’t connected his name and his role. I’d seen him when he watched me swim at the lake.
And I hadn’t been angry or pissed off that he’d been spying on me. I’d wanted to show myself to him. All of myself. A shiver teased over my skin at the memory of his gaze on me, and there was a pulse lower in my body, a need I couldn’t explain.
I’d been turned on then, and the memory threatened to do the same.
That was both surprising and scary…and I didn’t want to explore either of those two feelings too much. Especially not right now.
I sat up straighter and looked Conri in the eye, trying to push aside the thought of Jason’s eyes. Hungry eyes. Like he wanted something he couldn’t have.
And I’d wanted to give that thing to him. Part of me still did. Whatever it was.
“Okay,” I said. Just that one word, and I never thought I’d ever be cordial with a vampire. It was maybe the one thing I’d assumed Conri would never ask of me.
He sighed again, but this time it was a sound of relief. “I wasn’t sure you were gonna say yes.”
I laughed softly. “And since when do I ever refuse you anything?”
Relief danced in his eyes. “I thought today might be the first time.”
A shadow of warning lurked through me. Maybe it should have been my first refusal. Involvement with Jason seemed like it could be dangerous. After all, he was still a vampire, and I still needed to keep my distance—no matter how gorgeous and inexplicably tempting he was.
“So what’s gone wrong with the deal with the vamps?” I got the feeling everything wasn’t quite right. “What did Simon lose his temper over this time?”
Conri shrugged. “It could be something or nothing, quite honestly. Storm in a teacup, but I need it watched. Simon said that the Duponts have reneged on their offer of mutual protection, that they only stepped in when the Blackbloods started killing vampires, not when they took out shifters. When it only affected the Dupont reign rather than our alliance.” He looked at me.
“I just need someone more measured in the role alongside Jason. You usually have a good head for these sorts of things.” He chuckled.
“And I know you won’t put up with any shit from them. ”
I nodded. Sounded complicated, but maybe Simon was making a bigger deal of it than it needed to be. It wasn’t like he’d been selected to talk to Jason for his skills in diplomacy. He was just beta.
“Is everything okay otherwise?” The way Conri asked the question suggested he was aware of more than I thought, but I nodded.
“Yeah. Things are pretty normal.”
The corners of his lips tightened for a moment like he was reading between the lines of what I’d just said, and he didn’t like it. But there was nothing he could do. Nothing I’d ask him to do, either.
I half stood. “Was that all? I should get to the training ground to make sure I’m in top shape if I’m dealing with the vamps.”
Conri nodded. “I think that’s all I can ask of you today. I’ll let you know if I need you to shift the world on its axis tomorrow.” He threw me another amused grimace and I chuckled.
“Purveyor of impossible deeds, that’s me.”
He waved me away with one hand. “Go train. I’ve got more impossible deeds to discuss with other pack members.” He probably did, too, but I smiled as I jogged down the steps and away from his house.
I was always glad to spend time with my brother, even if he was in his alpha role.
He never reminded me about the half thing, even though it must have played on his mind and as it played on his father’s mind.
I was walking evidence of my mother’s affair, but her mate had accepted me into his life and into his pack anyway, and that acceptance had created my home.
He'd truly been my father in every way that counted.
Some days, my only regret was that my mother had cheated with a human during her marriage’s rough patch.
But maybe it was that simple fact that had enabled my survival.
If she’d cheated with a pack member, the pack wouldn’t have survived, and maybe I wouldn’t have survived either.
Maybe my human weakness had been my saving grace all along.
Not today, though, and not with a vampire. I gritted my teeth. I needed to be strong and in shape, and not because of the urge to share my body with him. I’d never been watched that way before, never expected to enjoy it.
But he’d watched and I had enjoyed it. I just needed to forget that part.
I reached the training yard and blew through the gate into the empty space.
Excellent—just how I liked it. I studied the battle ropes.
They were usually pretty heavy, but I wanted a turn with them today, especially with no one around to see.
Or I could use one of the punching bags hanging from posts cemented into the ground.
Maybe sparring would be more beneficial.
I tentatively lifted one of the ropes, testing the weight. They felt heavier than ever today, which wasn’t the encouragement I needed to practice with them. I dropped them back to the ground and ignored the dust they kicked up as I did.
Part of me regretted that I would never match the people I lived with. As much as I wanted to belong and be the same, be as capable, I’d always be inferior in small ways like this. My strength would always be less. And that was before I factored in that I would never shift.
I lived here and I would never shift.
It was a harsh truth.
But I couldn’t dwell on it because dwelling on it wouldn’t change it. And my alpha didn’t care. He loved me in spite of it.
After I’d wrapped my hands, I strolled to one of the punching bags and thrust my fist toward it experimentally.
I needed to be sure it didn’t hurt. My bones and skin were more delicate than those of the others who lived here, and these normal human habits and safeguards reminded me of that.
As used as I was to it, I hated it. It was another sign of my weakness when everyone else was strong.
I landed on the tough nylon and grimaced. At least no one was here to see me. I could punch as weakly as I wanted to, and no one would witness my display. Besides, I wasn’t truly weak. I just had different capabilities.
As I squared up to take my first proper swing, the gate clicked open, and a group of shifters entered. We all rolled our eyes at the same time. They weren’t my favorite group here, and I usually tried to avoid them.
Sienna, one of the two females, glanced at the rest of her group. “Look who it is,” she said to her audience, and two of the three males moved as if to flank her while Madison just stood to one side, her smile malicious. “It’s the skin-stain.”
“Only here because the alpha takes pity on her,” Brad agreed. “Fucking alpha pussy.”
I lifted my chin and narrowed my eyes silently daring him to say that again, where Conri could hear him. But he never would. None of them would actually dare to go toe to toe with Conri, no matter what they said about him.
“You looking to spar a little?” Sienna doodled in the dust with the toe of her boot, and cast me an upward glance that could almost have been coy.
“Might be.” I could take one of them, right? Sienna was pretty small and dainty looking. If I only had to deal with her, I should be okay. I might even win.
Then they might leave me alone for a while.
Carl stepped forward, rubbing his hands together eagerly. “I’m up for that.”
I laughed, the sound deliberately loud. “Nope. Sienna suggested it. This is Sienna’s fight.”
At least, I hoped it was Sienna’s fight. I definitely couldn’t take one of the guys. They all laughed, and the ugly sound rolled over my skin, sticking to me.
She grinned, the movement of her mouth more malice than amusement, and stepped toward me. “Come on then, skin-pet. Let’s see what you’ve got.” She advanced toward me, and I stepped back before taking a defensive posture.
Conri had always told me that the worst thing I could do on pack land was to show fear. Conri believed I belonged here, and that was good enough for me. I was no one’s skin-pet.
Skin-stain, skin-pet, skin-walker… I was other because I had no fur. But I wasn’t less.
Sienna growled in warning, and I smiled at her show of domination.
So unnecessary. She lashed out toward me, and I fended her off before twisting to the side.
I’d been working on my speed, and my pivot took her by surprise as she stumbled forward, narrowly saving herself from sprawling on the ground.
Brad laughed. “You going to let the skin-shit beat you so easily, Sen?” He glanced down at his nails like he was bored now. “I thought better of you than that.”
His taunting words evoked a growl from her and her usually gray eyes flashed silver, signaling her anger. My heart rate increased. Angry Sienna was a worse foe than bored Sienna, and Brad had just raised those stakes.
But I faced her again as she slashed toward me, and I cried out when the tips of her claws raked across my face. Shit. That wasn’t the plan. No partial shifting during spars with me. They knew they weren’t allowed to do that.
I sidestepped her again, tripping her over this time as she stumbled past. Dust flew up in a cloud from the ground as she landed with a loud expulsion of air from her lungs.
She rolled over and growled up at me, and I stepped back at the warning, but before I could move farther back, she shifted and leapt upward, landing on me.
Her weight pinned me down as her white wolf lowered her head and a line of drool hung from one fang. I twisted and turned, but I couldn’t free myself from under her.
“Sienna.” I pushed against her, digging my hands into her fur and gripping the tufts. “Get off.”
It was past a joke now, but Sienna’s silver eyes flashed, and she growled as she pressed forward, digging her claws into my chest now.
“Sen.” Brad’s voice carried warning. “Sen. Get off her.”
But Sienna only growled and lowered her head, her hot breath suddenly against my neck. I froze and closed my eyes, waiting.
“What the actual fuck!” Conri’s voice boomed across the training area. “Get the fuck off her.”
Sienna’s weight disappeared immediately, and when I opened my eyes, she was lying submissively in front of my brother, her head down.
“Get out of here—now. But come to me later… Or I will come to you. This won’t go without sanctions.” His eyes blazed in fury, and Sienna didn’t even shift back before running through the gate that one of her friends held open.
Carl darted forward and picked up what remained of her clothes from her spontaneous shift. He balled them up and held them against his chest, giving Conri a wide berth and a respectful nod before following the others out of sight.
Conri loomed above me, then sighed as he offered me his hand. “What were you thinking, Key?” He used my old nickname, and that was enough to tell me he wasn’t mad at me, despite the lingering anger in his eyes.
“I didn’t know she’d shift.” There wasn’t much else I could say.
“Yeah.” Conri looked out of the gate, even though the others had long since disappeared. There wasn’t much else he could say, either. Neither one of us could afford to let my status in the pack affect his role as alpha. “Well, just be careful.”
But he didn’t sound like he had any confidence that my being careful would solve the problem.