Chapter 12 Ciara
Ciara
Holy hell. A current of electricity ran through me, leaving sparks of awareness all over my body. I raised on my tiptoes, pressing closer to Jason, accepting his kisses, trading them, with eagerness.
I’d never been kissed like this before. Something about the way Jason moved his hands over the back of my head, over my shoulder, showed he wasn’t only after one thing. This wasn’t a clumsy fumble attempt or a kiss so innocent it could have been animated. He was kissing me like he meant it.
And I was kissing him back.
Without thought or worry, without nerves or anxiety, I was just kissing him, moving in sync with him, and my belly tightened as feeling surged through me.
He affected me like no other man ever had.
I didn’t want the kiss to stop, but eventually he drew away, his movements reluctant because when he stopped at first, we’d barely parted at all. I could have leaned forward and pressed my lips against his again without any effort at all.
But he spoke. “I should take you back. You can share whatever you need to with your brother about the land.”
Instead of stepping away and preparing to leave, I rested my forehead against his chest, stealing comfort from the soft fabric of his clothing, the thud of his heart, and the patchouli-citrus scent of him. This felt like home.
I drew a breath, relaxing into this moment. A moment just for me.
My feelings were too complex to explore. I didn’t want to know what I felt. But I wanted to experience it. Maybe just for now.
It would be enough.
Except it wouldn’t. I already knew I wanted more.
“Jason,” I said, almost without meaning to. And I certainly didn’t mean to fill the one word with so much longing and desire.
He reacted to the sound immediately, tightening his arms around me and pressing his mouth against mine again.
I parted my lips, suddenly greedy, careless in my desire to be closer to him, as I flattened myself against him, willing him to touch me. I wanted his hands against my skin. I wanted him to touch me exactly as I’d imagined.
As I remembered all of the things I’d imagined while I was alone, a soft moan escaped me, and Jason pressed his hand to my hair again, threading his fingers into my hair and angling my head so he could kiss me with greater fervor.
I met his tongue with enthusiasm, caressing it with mine and nibbling at his lower lip. He hissed a breath and dropped his hand from my hair to my shoulder before he cupped my breast, his palm warm even over my clothes.
But I wanted more. I writhed impatiently until his hand dropped to my waist then he lifted the hem of my shirt before his fingers skated over my skin, the barest of touches sending a shiver through me and raising goosebumps.
Jason walked forward a couple of steps, and it was like dancing in his arms as he guided me backward, until I rested against a tree. He dipped his head to the curve of my neck, nuzzling his lips against my skin and sending another shiver through me as I clutched him closer.
“Ciara,” he whispered.
“Please.” My response surprised me, even though I whispered in the smallest of voices as it escaped me on a sigh.
What was I asking for…? What did I need?
But Jason knew as his hand crept upward underneath my shirt and to the fabric of my bra. His thump swept over my left nipple, and I inhaled softly as my skin prickled, my breasts suddenly heavier as desire for this man flooded me once more.
I whimpered against his lips as his fingers were suddenly at the zipper of my jeans. The button was unfastened so quickly I barely noticed, but when he drew down the zipper, the movement was achingly slow. I’d never wanted so much.
I fidgeted as heat flooded my core. This wasn’t nervousness as I’d experienced it before, where it was tainted with an edge of dread in the knowledge I didn’t want to go on.
This time, I didn’t want to stop. I didn’t want Jason to stop.
I wanted more.
He pushed my jeans down my thighs, and his fingers curled against the fabric of my underwear. “Wet for me,” he murmured, and my cheeks heated in sudden embarrassment, but I didn’t attempt to close my legs or prevent his touches.
I didn’t want to push him away. I wanted him closer. Even the material between us was too much. As if he could read my mind, Jason ripped away my panties, and cold air touched my clit. I gasped and closed my eyes.
If I couldn’t see, I could hide and pretend to be somewhere else. But the delicious sensations that rolled through me prevented me from wanting to hide anywhere. I only wanted to be in Jason’s arms, letting him touch me.
“Someone might see.” We were still very much in public… Just off a hiking trail. I hadn’t lost myself completely.
He chuckled, the sound low and warm. “I’d hear anyone coming. Besides, if they saw us, I could kill them for you.”
I cracked open one eye, and he grinned.
“Kidding. I wouldn’t kill them for you. I’d kill them for sport.”
I joined his low laughter. Jason wasn’t that guy. I’d just started to relax again when his fingertip grazed over my clit.
Such a soft touch. Barely there almost. Just right.
I opened my mouth but not a sound came out as I pressed closer to him.
Don’t stop… Don’t stop. The words ran through my head, but I didn’t voice them. I didn’t want to break this moment. Jason was touching me and it was perfect.
He palmed my right breast, and I arched toward him as my nipples hardened. His breath skated over the skin at my neck, and he followed its path with his tongue before capturing my lips as he continued to roll my clit under his finger.
He whispered my name as he dipped his finger at my entrance before returning the wetness to my clit, and I moaned.
“More?” He sounded amused.
“Yes.” I forced the word out, not wanting to interrupt the thoughts in my head with actual speech when I was concentrating on the pleasure.
No one had ever done to this for me…to me.
I ground against him, losing myself a little as he continued to touch me, and my breathing quickened as my muscles began to tighten.
Jason looped an arm around my waist when my legs started to shake with the effort of holding me up, and I relaxed against him as I gave myself over to the runaway sensations in my body.
There was no more thought. Only the sound of my breathing, my gasps irregular and peppered with whimpering as the pleasure and pressure at my core grew. Jason didn’t let up his rhythm, and his touch remained firm but gentle as I strained for more.
The pressure built within me, filling all of me until I couldn’t handle any more. Then it burst in a release of tension that took my whole body with it, and I floated for a moment as my core pulsed, sending vibrations right through me.
I kept my eyes closed as I basked in the remnants of my orgasm.
Then I kept them closed as I soaked in the embarrassment of standing half naked against a tree in the bayou, Jason’s hand still lingering on the skin at the top of my thigh.
“I… Oh, shit.” I bent to retrieve my underwear before clutching the torn fabric in my fist, and grabbed the waistband of my jeans, yanking at them, but Jason slowed my movements before he kissed my cheek.
“I’ve got them.”
I stood, slightly mortified but wholly satisfied as he fastened my jeans, the whole time shielding me from public view, although I trusted him not to let anyone pass us.
When he pulled me into his arms again, I rested my head against him, listening to the thump of his heart once more.
It was faster than before, as if touching me had also excited him.
“You okay?” Jason’s voice was a rumble in his chest.
For a moment, I wanted to climb inside him and have the sound surround me, cocoon me, keep me safe.
But that was a ridiculous thought, and I nearly laughed at myself.
“I’m fine.” My own voice was small now. I didn’t know if I’d be fine ever again. Things had changed. And I’d allowed it. Enjoyed it, even. Everything was different now.
But I couldn’t focus on what had just happened between us. There were more important things.
The red wolves. I had them to think of now. I didn’t need to spend any time considering anything else.
“What if I took on the responsibility for these wolves?” I didn’t move away from him, my nose still pressed into his clothes as I continued to inhale his scent, my breathing steady and regular.
That probably wasn’t what he’d expected to hear from me, but I didn’t want to discuss anything else. I wasn’t ready to examine what had just happened.
But if my subject matter was unexpected, he didn’t really show it.
“You?” He didn’t sound doubtful. More curious.
I looked at him now, so he’d know how important this would be to me. “Yeah. I’ll talk to Conri. I think I can get him to agree to hand the property to me to oversee.” For the first time in my life, it would be a real purpose. Perhaps I could even live out here.
“I think maybe you can get your brother to agree to anything you request, right?” Jason smiled ruefully, and yearning lurked in the depths of his gaze.
I couldn’t maintain eye contact. Something inside me pulled toward him like it was trying to answer a question he hadn’t asked. And I’d just complicated every fucking thing. I pushed the unwelcome thought away. I wasn’t exploring it.
His arms tightened around me, and he dropped a delicate kiss to my nose before he was gone, taking his warmth with him as he took hold of my hand and drew me back onto the trail.
I glanced behind us, but the land was empty now. The spell must have broken because the wolves had hidden once more. Seeing them had been amazing.
“Thank you for bringing me here.” I only whispered the words as my voice caught in my throat, sudden emotion overcoming me at the memory of pups playing and other wolves lying beside each other in the sun.
Jason heard me, though, and he threw a quick grin over his shoulder. “I’m glad you enjoyed the time.” His eyes glowed a dull red and heat raced through me, surprising me with a burst of desire.
I squashed it down. What the hell? I was supposed to be planning the best way to address my future, not wrangling unexpected lusty thoughts about the vampire who seemed to be both the source of and the solution to my problems.
After all, if he hadn’t brought me out here to see the wolves, I might not have considered escaping Conri’s pack at all.
I nearly stopped walking. I’d never thought about leaving before. And certainly, I’d never told myself I needed to escape.
Only now that I’d thought it, it was like an intense burning in my gut, an action I needed to take.
Jason’s fingers tightened briefly around mine like he could somehow detect my sudden uncertainty, and his closeness helped ease the tightness in my chest. We made short work of the rest of the walk back to where we’d left his car, my head buzzing with what he’d just shown me.
I slid into his car and Jason closed the door before heading to the driver’s side and climbing in. As soon as we were on the road, he took my hand again, and I soaked in the touch, just like before.
There was something addictive about it, something I craved.
He didn’t speak immediately, and neither did I. I was too busy thinking about the red wolves. I understood now about why the king had been hesitant about simply handing the land over. But he should have trusted us.
We would have taken care of the wolves. I’d take care of them now, if I could.
Doubt crept into my thoughts, though. What if I was misjudging what the wolves needed? Or misjudging my own abilities to keep them from harm?
I mean, I always felt like the misjudged one in my pack, but what if I was actually getting it wrong this time?
I couldn’t afford to think like that, though.
I had to believe in myself. And it was my opportunity to remove myself from the teases and taunts of women who still acted like they were in high school.
And I’d be doing Conri a favor. He wouldn’t be conflicted or held back by my presence anymore.
He could be a true pack alpha without having to worry about defending me. Hopefully I could talk him into what I wanted—and also make him see it was what he needed.
“You think you’re going to talk to your brother about this?” Jason’s voice cut into my thoughts as he swung the car easily onto a different road.
It was a little eerie that he’d picked up on almost the exact subject in my head.
I nodded. “Yeah. I think I have some stuff to discuss with Conri now.” I let silence fall again.
My thoughts were too private to discuss; I couldn’t just tell Jason about them. It was too much to bare to a stranger who seemed to have some sort of magnetic pull for me, anyway.
That made him dangerous. The idea I could talk to him was sounding more and more reasonable, and I needed to pull back, to override myself somehow.
Besides, maybe Jason would think my interest in living on the land and managing the wolves’ future was stupid. What real experience did I have besides being a failed shifter? Of all the pack, I probably had the least in common with them. My own mocking laugh echoed through my head.
I shook off my doubt. I couldn’t afford to think like that. I’d backed myself and relied on myself my whole life. I couldn’t believe I might fail now. If I believed I’d fail, I was halfway there.
By the time Jason drove us onto pack lands, I’d made up my mind. The long-term care of the wolves would absolutely be my project. I only had to sit down with Conri and get him to agree.
I slid a glance at Jason. He’d been right earlier. Conri tended to agree to anything I requested.