Chapter 14
Ciara
It was rare that anyone intentionally joined me for breakfast, and it was even more rare that person was Taylor. Although she was my best friend and had my back at any opportunity, she wasn’t a morning person. And it seemed that, this morning, neither was my brother.
I hadn’t been able to locate Conri the day before, but he probably had pack business to attend to.
My project with the red wolves wasn’t the only project, after all, but I didn’t really want to hear about the other activities of the pack.
They definitely favored morally gray areas for money-making, even though Conri was trying to change all of that.
“Key-Key…” Taylor’s voice was too sunny, too bright, and I swallowed a groan before I pushed the last mouthful of my toast between my lips and caught the lingering stickiness of the jam with the tip of my tongue.
I smiled at my friend even as my heart sank. Taylor had always had a nose for gossip. If shifters had improved senses, Taylor’s was her ability to sniff out whatever people didn’t want her to know.
And now my friend was here for me.
Her eyes gleamed. “Sooooo…”
“So?” I sipped my coffee, watching her over the cup. I wasn’t about to give her anything. She wouldn’t pass it on, but she’d tease me forever, and I really didn’t have time to deal with her hunt for news today.
I was still waiting for Conri. I checked my watch. Apparently, he’d spent the night out carousing. He was usually an early riser. Trust me to get to breakfast first on a morning when everything was backward.
“You know.” She gestured impatiently. “You were gone a long time with the vampire yesterday.”
“He needed to show me something,” I said dismissively but regretted it instantly.
Taylor laughed and lifted an eyebrow suggestively. “His trouser snake?”
“No.” But I laughed as I set my coffee mug down. “And you’re like a woman obsessed.”
“No?” She sounded disappointed, and even though I’d told the truth, my cheeks heated as memories of the way he’d touched me played through my mind.
I laughed quietly. In some ways, seeking my own pleasure had left Jason’s body as the furthest thing from my mind. In other ways, I’d had to hold myself back from reaching for him.
Now, I wished I’d reached for him. But I’d never tell Taylor that.
“I’m sure he’s not as well-endowed as you insist.” I waved a hand, dismissing her regular judgment of his dick.
“And how do you know?” She narrowed her eyes thoughtfully. “And you are blushing. Maybe you know exactly how well-endowed he is?” She sat back. “In that case, I’m sorry he was a disappointment.”
I choked on my mouthful of coffee, spluttering as I reached for a napkin to press against my mouth and hide my burning cheeks.
Jason Martin was a vampire and probably many things more, but certainly I wouldn’t expect him to be a disappointment in the way Taylor was suggesting.
He didn’t give off that vibe at all. In my head, he was entirely perfect—at everything he chose to do.
Especially if his task involved his hands or his mouth or his…
My cheeks burned hotter as my thoughts wandered south of his belt.
Each of my muscles relaxed as I replayed the feel of his touch on me.
Not that a vampire would ever be interested in a shifter, and with our pack’s history with vampires, I couldn’t justify any interest on my part, either.
It would be a complete betrayal of Conri.
A business deal instigated by him was one thing but anything more…
social, personal... It wouldn’t be permitted and surely not forgiven.
“I need to meet with Conri. Have you seen him?” I changed the subject abruptly.
“Hmm…” She cradled her chin thoughtfully. “You’re asking me if I’ve seen your brother?”
I nodded and withheld my sigh. She was enjoying this way too much. “Come on. Have you seen him?”
“I think…” Her eyes sparkled again, in the way her eyes only sparkled when she had news to impart. “I think he had a very busy night.” She winked. “If you know what I mean.”
Of course, I knew what she meant, and I sighed out loud this time.
“He was off getting some,” she clarified unnecessarily.
“Thanks. He’s your alpha and my brother. I didn’t need the extra detail.”
She shrugged then her eyes widened as she looked at the door, and she stood. “I should go get to my rotation at the perimeter.”
A wave of jealousy passed though me. She’d spend the morning as her wolf.
Since Jason had shown me the red wolves, it seemed like I no longer had to deny to myself how much I longed to be able to shift.
It was as if a dam had been released. But it meant that living here was becoming untenable—which was precisely why I needed to see Conri about my plan.
“Conri.” Taylor spoke as though she’d read my mind, and she dipped her head in respect.
I glanced up, taking my brother in as he entered the dining rom.
“Taylor,” he murmured in reply, but he didn’t seem bothered as she scurried past him with barely a goodbye for me as she left.
I smiled as I glanced into my coffee cup. Even the females who said they weren’t affected by my brother totally were. Probably each of them longed for a little special attention from the pack alpha.
Conri nodded at me as he sat in the seat Taylor had just vacated. “Sorry I wasn’t around when you got back yesterday.”
I shrugged. It had taken a while for my fluster to die down, so it was probably good thing I hadn’t rushed straight into a meeting with him. I reached into the bag at the side of my seat and produced the paperwork I wanted to share with him.
He glanced at it and sighed. “Let me get some coffee.” He groaned like an old guy as he stood. “Late night,” he threw over his shoulder in explanation.
I tapped on the paperwork, anxiety making itself it known as I waited for his return.
He sat down, groaning again, and looked at me expectantly. “So?”
“It’s okay, Conri.” I started off by appeasing him. I needed him calm for this conversation. “Jason showed me why there were doubts over the transition of the land. Red wolves live there.”
Conri snorted. “Let me get this straight.” He held up a finger.
“One, they thought vampires were better caretakers of an endangered wolf species?” He held up a second finger alongside the first. “And two, they actually fucking forgot the existence of that species before they agreed to trade the land the wolves live on in a deal? The stupid fuckers.” He shook his head and scratched at his chin, the rasp of yesterday’s stubble still audible.
My brother had indeed had a rough night.
“For fuck’s sake. I’ll look like an asshole if I don’t agree to whatever they want.” He pushed his hand through his hair, and I almost laughed at the way he left it sticking up in comical spikes.
“It’s okay.” I repeated my earlier platitude. “It’s our land. They’ve given it to us.” I cleared my throat and sat straighter. “I con…I convinced Jason…” In truth, he hadn’t taken a whole lot of convincing, but Conri didn’t need to know that.
He looked at me. “I knew you were the right pack member for this job.”
I preened a little, even though I didn’t entirely deserve his praise. I was apparently the right pack member, but for all of the wrong reasons.
Reasons Conri could never know about. Jason Martin had fingered me in the bayou… And damn it all, despite all of my very sensible reservations and precise reasons not to…I’d let him do it again.
I lowered my head to hide my secret shame at my divided loyalties as I searched in my bag for a pen. “Then you’ll sign it?” I sounded guilty as fuck, and I cleared my throat again. The important part of our conversation was coming up, and I didn’t want to blow it.
“Yes.” Conri sighed. He sounded tired, but my next suggestion would relieve him of one of his biggest problems—me.
He took the pen that I passed to him and signed his name with a bigger flourish than usual. I pressed my lips together at the smile of amusement at his alpha male display—the one only I would ever see in this instant.
As he handed the paperwork to me, I lifted my gaze to his.
“Conri?”
He must have heard something in my tone, because his answer was uncharacteristically hesitant. “Yes?”
“I saw the wolves. They do need protecting. Can this project be mine?”
One side of his mouth pulled to the side. “I don’t know. I was thinking I would probably challenge one of the young captains coming up through the ranks. Test his mettle. I have a few I could choose from who would be hungry to show me what they can do.”
Conri was technically correct. I could start listing those hungry people—Simon, Leon, Peter… but none of them were right. None of them were hungry in the right way. Not like me.
“I’d like to do it,” I persisted, every muscle in my body tense with the potential rejection headed my way. “I think I could make a life for myself out there.” I nodded at the deed. “On that land.”
Conri lifted his eyebrows. “You’d leave the pack? Move? Why? Aren’t you happy here?” But his voice asked a different question. Was he failing to make me happy?
“It’s not you.” I rushed to reassure him. My brother did everything in his power to protect me. I saw that every day. “But…” I trailed off while I thought about the words I should use. “But I’m not sure this is the place for me any longer.”
He made a noise like he might interrupt, but I needed to get these words out.