Chapter 30 #2
“It’s you, me, Gran, and Willow playing baseball. Can’t you tell?” Peyton sounds exasperated in a way only a four-year-old can. “See? There’s the ball. You’re gonna catch it. And that’s the dog I wanna get.”
“A dog, huh?” I force a smile, even as my throat feels thick with emotion. “I love it, Pey. You’re a great artist.”
“I wanna give it to Willow. When is she coming over again?” Peyton bounces up and down on the couch in the family room, the same couch where she was cuddled up against Willow watching a movie not that long ago.
As soon as she asks that oh-so-innocent question, that thick feeling in my throat intensifies. Because it’s not one I can easily answer. “I’m not really sure. I’ll talk to her when I get home, how about that?”
“’Kay. And will you give her my picture?” Peyton goes on, blissfully unaware of how her dear old dad is tied up in knots about the very woman she wants to give a drawing.
“You bet,” I answer, raking my hand through my still-damp hair. “It’s bedtime now, though. I’ll be home in a couple of days, maybe you could draw me a picture as well? My locker at the stadium could use something new.”
“I’ll draw you one like Willow’s. Then you guys can match.”
“Sounds great.” I muster up a smile. “Now, get your booty to bed.”
“Love you, Daddy.”
My smile automatically grows a lot bigger at those three words. “Love you, too, Rocket.”
We hang up, but I don’t put my phone down. Instead, I switch over to my text messages and hover over Willow’s name. I want to respect her need for space, but I also need her to know I’m not giving up easily.
RONAN: Hey Cherry. Just want to say I miss you, and I hope I haven’t screwed things up so badly that I never get a chance to tell you I’m sorry in person.
Or to say the other words I shouldn’t have said that day, even if they were – and still are – true.
I’ll give you as much space as you need, I swear.
But I’m not giving up on us. And I’m not going to let you give up without a fight.
I stare at my screen after I hit send, overthinking every word I just typed. Until my phone starts to vibrate in my hand with an incoming video call.
My mouth goes instantly dry as I hit answer. “Hi.”
Willow’s beautiful face fills my screen, making my heart ache. Fuck, I wish I was there right now.
“Hey,” she replies softly, and I see her settle into the corner of her couch. “I hope this is okay to just call?”
God, I hate that she sounds unsure. As if I would be upset that she called. “Cherry, this is more than okay. It’s so good to see you. I’ve missed you.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t ready to talk, it was just…so much happened that day. I needed a minute.”
“Baby, don’t apologize for needing some time.
Please.” I want to reach through the phone and pull her into my arms, to ease the stress written all over her face.
“I hope you know just how sorry I am for how things went down that night. I’m not apologizing for defending you against that asshole, or with Lydia, but I am sorry for the outcome.
For our relationship ending up public knowledge before you were really ready for that.
And I never should have confessed my feelings in front of your uncle and Lydia.
Not only because you wanted us to keep things a secret, but because that’s not the way you deserve to hear me say I’m falling in love with you.
You deserve to hear those words when it’s just you and me, and when I can not only say them, but show you.
But I’m not going to deny those feelings any longer, either. I can’t.”
I watch her brush away a tear from her cheek when I finally finish blurting out my apology and my hand clenches in the sheets beside me.
I’m trying hard not to be frustrated that we’re having this conversation over the phone, instead of when I’m home and can hold her.
But I’ll be damned if I’m not going to seize this opportunity to tell her how I feel.
“I love you, Willow Lawson. I never expected to, never thought I deserved to have a woman like you when I’m already blessed with a career like mine and an amazing daughter.
I didn’t think I could have it all, but now I realize I just never found a woman who was worth fighting for.
A woman who would be worth the work of balancing a demanding career, my daughter, and a relationship.
But you’re worth it. Hell, you deserve even more than what I can give you, but I’m hoping you’ll let me try to be the man you deserve. ”
“Ronan,” she starts with a whisper, and my heart freezes.
“I hear you. I hear those beautiful words, and I want to be ready to say them back. But you have to understand, everything I thought I knew, or believed to be true, has been flipped upside down. And I know it’s a good thing.
That Uncle Mike is fine with our relationship.
But things have changed now that everyone knows about us, and I just need a minute to wrap my head around that new reality. ”
“Cherry, you take whatever time you need to adjust. Just know that I’m not going anywhere, and I’m not giving up on us.
What we have is too good, too right. You need to see that it’s safe to love me, that nothing bad will happen, and I swear, I’ll be right here waiting to prove that to you whenever you’re ready. ”