Chapter Twenty
Macy
“This is where we’re staying?” I stood just inside the small room tucked into the back of the clubhouse, frowning at the bed that would be a tight fit for two, the dresser that wobbled a little, and the old school green door that looked straight out of another decade. “Why?”
“Because my spot’s been blown,” Drew answered easily, like he was explaining an easy concept to a child. “They know about it, which means there’s probably someone sitting on it right now, watching. Waiting for us to return.”
He wrapped an arm around me, pulling me close. “And as much as I would love to go home and fuck you until you scream yourself hoarse,” he added dryly, “I’d really like to avoid getting a bullet in my head while I do it.”
I shivered at his dirty words, fear raced down my spine even as white-hot heat coiled low in my belly. “So,” I began slowly. “We’re staying here.” It wasn’t a question, more like a statement of fact that I needed to get accustomed to.
“Is that a problem?” he asked, a smile in his voice even though his eyes remained sharp.
“No,” I answered quickly. “I’m just… surprised is all.”
Drew tightened his arm around me. “It’s cozy,” he said. “But I think we’ll make it work. Won’t we?”
I laughed and tipped my head back to look at him. “We’ve slept in worse.”
He nodded, his gaze holding mine. Something unspoken passed between us, something familiar and steady, and intense. It hit me all the way down to the deepest parts of myself. “How about some food?” The question flew out abruptly, as if he’d surprised himself too.
I blinked, unsure what to make of the subject change but ready to roll with it.
“Food sounds great,” I began but a yawn took over.
“But I think I need a few hours of shut eye first.” My body was suddenly really heavy, the adrenaline of the earlier fear was quickly fading.
“I have a feeling it might be hard to come back for a while.”
Understanding crossed his face and he nodded once. “Okay. A nap works for me.”
“You don’t have to—” I started to protest but Drew cut me off.
“The only place you’re going without me,” he said in an eerily calm voice, “is to take a piss.”
I stared at him.
That shouldn’t be hot. Right?
It absolutely was.
“Well,” I said, trying and failing not to smile, “I guess we’re taking a nap.”
His lips twitched but he said nothing as he stripped down to his boxer briefs that hugged his thighs and ass in a way that made my throat drier than the desert that surrounded us.
He turned back to me as if he had no fucking clue what he was doing to my pulse.
And other places. “Ready when you are.” That twinkle in his eyes, though?
Told me he knew exactly the effect he was having.
I swallowed hard and forced my gaze off his amazing body, focusing instead on removing my own clothes.
I’d dressed quickly in the dark, so I was still wearing one of his giant t-shirts, which made it easy to remove my jeans and socks before sliding between the sheets.
“I’m guessing it won’t be safe to go back for clothes for a while. ”
“Not right now,” he said, covering us with the blankets before he pulled me so that my back was flush to his chest. “But we’ll get you a few more things to wear. The girls are good at this shit.”
I smiled at the way he so easily handed out compliments.
His chin rested on my shoulder, his body warm and solid, like an anchor in the chaos that was suddenly my life. Once again.
I thought I’d left behind the chaos, but it still found me. No matter where I went or what I did, chaos or dysfunction seemed to find me.
Maybe I was the problem?
Silence settled between us, comfortable and relaxed despite the unknown danger that was closing in on us. “What’s going to happen, Drew?” My voice sounded so small and vulnerable and I didn’t like it.
He sighed, breath stirring the hair at my temple. “Well… we’re probably gonna have to fuck some shit up.” His tone was matter of fact. “Some people might get shot or stabbed. Others might end up dead.”
I stiffened.
His hold tightened almost imperceptibly. “Diego and Halloran for certain,” he finished.
A shaky breath slipped out of me. “All because of me.”
The words tasted familiar. Bitter. Automatic. I couldn’t deny the truth any longer. “I ruin everything,” I whispered. It was what I did. What I always had done.
“Fuck that,” he growled.
Before I could react, he flipped our bodies so he was on top, the heavy weight of him a comfort as it pressed me into the mattress.
His arms banded around my waist, holding me like he was afraid I might disappear.
His gray eyes were locked on mine, full of intensity.
“This is happening because that asshole Diego doesn’t know how to take no for a fucking answer.
” His words were full of emotion. “And because that crooked fucker Halloran wants to live beyond his means. That’s it. Nothing else.”
“I want to believe you. So fucking badly, but Lewis is dead because of me, too.” Tears pooled in my eyes and no matter how much I willed them away, the stubborn fuckers lingered.
“No,” Drew said right away. “He’s dead because he was a decent man working in a world that doesn’t reward that, and he chose the wrong man to work for.” His thumbs brushed gentle circles at the small of my back. “That’s not on you.”
He made it sound so simple. I wanted to believe him. Desperately.
My eyelids grew heavy before I could argue further, exhaustion finally winning. Drew eased us down onto the bed, pulling me against him, one arm solid around my waist.
“You’re safe,” he murmured into my hair.
I let myself drift, holding onto that one promise, even if I wasn’t sure yet how to make it reality.