Chapter 23 Vanguard
VANGUARD
I go invisible before I reach Chelsea.
It’s not a conscious decision. One moment, I’m flying south over the Hudson, the city sprawling beneath me in its grid of light and shadow, shiny thanks to today’s rain, and the next, I’m watching my hands disappear, my body bleeding into the night sky like I was never there at all.
It’s better this way. No one’s wondering why America’s Hero is circling a mid-range hotel instead of patrolling the skyline. No telephoto lenses. No questions.
Just me, alone in the dark, doing something I shouldn’t be doing.
Her window is dark, curtains drawn, balcony empty. I hover there anyway, scanning for movement, the infrared on my watch looking for the warm blur of body heat through the glass.
There’s nothing, which means she’s out somewhere.
But where? Is she talking to other sources? Is she exploring the city? Is she on a date?
The idea of her with someone else tickles that darkness, threatening to smother me with anger. She wouldn’t be on a date, not after we slept together—would she?
I should leave. Fly somewhere else, respond to a call, do the job I was built for. Instead, I circle the building, hoping on each pass, she’ll suddenly materialize.
What the hell is wrong with you?
Nothing, everything. Since Mia came into my life, I don’t know what’s up and down anymore, don’t know what’s normal and what’s not.
The watch buzzes against my wrist. I glance down at the display—Julia, requesting a status update. Third one in the last hour.
I tap back a curt response. All clear. Patrolling lower Manhattan.
The lie comes easy. Too easy. I’ve never lied to them before, not directly, and not about anything that matters. But lately, the truth feels like something I need to protect, something they don’t get to have.
I bank east, putting distance between myself and her hotel, trying to focus on the city beneath me. This is what I’m supposed to do. Watch over them. Keep them safe. Be the symbol they need me to be. Help this country rebuild itself so people can trust in their future again.
The watch buzzes again.
Reminder: Media briefing tomorrow at 0900. Wardrobe has selected navy suit. Please confirm.
With a sigh, I confirm, like always. That’s what good assets do.
Asset. I’ve heard Julia use it in meetings, like I’m not there in front of her, heard Marsh toss it around like I’m a line item on a budget report. I know what I am to them. I’ve always known. But lately, the knowledge has teeth, and they’re starting to bite.
A siren wails somewhere below, a Loss Prevention drone heading toward the Meatpacking District. I track it automatically, waiting for the dispatch alert that would send me diving toward whatever emergency needs handling.
The alert doesn’t come. It’s someone else’s problem tonight.
I keep flying. Keep circling. Keep ending up back over Chelsea no matter which direction I go.
You’re pathetic. You know that, right?
The voice in my head sounds like Emma. That mix of exasperation and affection she always had when I was being stubborn about something.
If she were alive today, I could hear what she’d say: Just go talk to her like a normal person.
Oh wait, you’re not a normal person. You’re a genetically engineered superhero who’s apparently forgotten how phones work.
I almost smile.
The thing is, I don’t want to call Mia. For one, I fucking hate talking on the phone. For two, I don’t want the performance of casual conversation. Yeah, hearing her voice would be lovely, but what I really want is—
My watch buzzes. Again. This time, it’s not Julia—it’s the automated wellness check, the one that pings every now and then to confirm I’m ‘functioning within normal parameters.’
I stare at the screen for a long moment. The little heart icon pulsing, waiting for me to tap it, confirming that yes, I’m fine. Yes, I’m stable. Yes, I’m the good soldier they made me to be.
But I don’t tap it.
Instead, I pull up the settings menu and scroll to the option I’ve never used before. The one buried three screens deep, labeled ‘privacy mode’ in small grey text, like they didn’t really want me to find it.
Privacy Mode will temporarily suspend non-emergency communications and wellness monitoring. Location tracking will remain active for safety purposes. Do you wish to continue?
My thumb hovers over the confirmation button.
This is stupid. There’s no doubt they’ll notice.
Julia will see the gap in my data stream and start asking questions, if she’s not outright monitoring me right now.
Marsh will get a report about anomalous behavior and add it to whatever file they’re keeping on me, using it as ammo for the next calibration.
But for once—just once—I want to exist without being watched, without every heartbeat and hormone spike being logged and analyzed and discussed in rooms I’m not invited to.
I tap confirm.
The watch goes quiet. No buzz, no pulse, no gentle reminder I’m never really alone. Just silence, the wind, and the vast dark sky.
It feels like taking off a shoe that’s been too tight for years, like the first breath after being underwater.
Like freedom—or something close to it.
I turn back toward Chelsea.
Her light is on now.
I notice it from a few blocks away—that warm, golden glow behind the not-quite-closed curtains, a small rectangle of brightness in the grid of the city. My heart thuds against my ribs at the sight of it.
She’s home.
I slow as I approach, dropping lower, staying invisible. The rational part of my brain is screaming at me to stop, to turn around, to go back to being the version of myself that doesn’t do things like this.
The rest of me isn’t listening.
I drift closer to her window, close enough to see through the gap in the curtains, into the room beyond.
She’s there.
On the bed.
And she’s—
My breath catches.
Oh, fuck.
She’s lying back against the pillows, wearing a robe that’s fallen open. One hand disappears beneath the sheets, moving in slow, deliberate circles doing something I can’t see but desperately want to. The other grips the sheets beside her hip, knuckles white.
Her head is tilted back, lips parted, wet and soft and delectable. Even from here, I can see the flush spreading down her throat, the way her chest rises and falls with each unsteady breath.
You should leave, you fucking creep.
The thought is coming from another galaxy, something I know I should feel but can’t quite reach. What I feel instead is heat, a tightening low in my stomach that spreads outward, downward, until my whole body is humming with it. That powerful urge to fuck.
She arches slightly, her hips lifting off the mattress, and I watch her mouth make a sound I can hear through the glass. Her hand moves faster now, more urgent, chasing her orgasm.
I wonder what she’s thinking about.
Who she’s thinking about.
The possessive part of me—the part I’ve tried so hard to keep buried—wants, needs it to be me. Needs to be the image behind her closed eyes, the fantasy making her breath come short and sharp.
Mine.
I don’t push the thought away; instead, I welcome it, nurture it.
She’s mine.
Her back arches higher. Her free hand releases the sheets and slides up her own body, cupping her breast through her open robe. She’s close—I can tell by the tension in her thighs, the way her whole body seems to gather toward a single point.
I descend without deciding to. The balcony is narrow, barely enough room for a couple of chairs and small table, and I land on it without a sound.
Through the glass door, I can see her more clearly now.
I touch the door lightly… It’s not locked.
And why would anyone lock a balcony door this high up when the only person who could be up here is… me?
The sounds reach me—soft gasps, breathy moans, the rustle of sheets beneath her shifting body. Each one makes my cock strain, causes my hands to curl into fists at my sides.
I could knock. Announce myself. Give her the choice.
I don’t. I reach for the door handle, still invisible, still silent, and slide it open as quietly as possible.
The room smells like her. Clean skin, vanilla coconut. The scent wraps around me as I step inside.
She doesn’t hear it. She’s too far gone, lost in whatever she’s building toward, her eyes squeezed shut and her lips parted around sounds that make my cock stiffen.
I stand there, in the shadows, invisible, watching her chase her pleasure.
And I wait.