Eleven
ELEVEN
Reagan
It was the buzz and click of the door lock that startled me awake.
My body, aching from what had been done to me, went into panic mode at the possibility of someone entering this cell.
The physical exhaustion from the fight had forced me to sleep, and I could only assume I’d been out for hours. In some strange way, maybe that had been a good thing.
But now that I was awake and aware of the threat, I had to move. No matter how badly I wanted to get myself upright and scramble to my feet to be prepared, I couldn’t. I groaned in pain with each taxing movement, and by the time I sat up and blinked my eyes, the door had already been opened and shut.
Oddly, nobody was in the room with me. That’s when I dropped my gaze to the ground just in front of the door and saw it. A tray with food.
And water.
The sight of that liquid was the only thing that pushed me to ignore the pain in my body and propel myself forward. But I quickly realized that the mental toughness would only take me so far.
I tried crawling, the awkward movement causing a tremendous amount of physical discomfort. Even though I didn’t quite trust myself to stand—I couldn’t remember a time when I’d ever felt this weak—I believed it would be less painful to walk instead of crawl.
Eventually, I made it to the tray. And because I didn’t have the strength or steadiness to lift the tray and go anywhere else in the room, I lowered myself to the ground again, right beside the door.
I went for the water first, downing half of it in no time at all. It was warm, much warmer than I would have liked or hoped for, but I wasn’t in a position to be picky. Remaining on the tray was a hunk of days’ old French bread and a puny apple. It was better than nothing, and I believed it would help take away the empty, hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Though the urge to shovel everything in quickly was there, I didn’t. Part of that was forcing myself to take it slow, while the other part of it was the physical challenge. I winced with each move I made. It seemed impossible I’d ever be able to heal from what Javier and Chris had done to me.
I finished the food, drank the remainder of the water, and dropped my head back against the wall. My eyes drooped shut, and within seconds, I was out.
At some point, maybe an hour or so later, I was woken again by the sound of the door being unlocked. Two new men I hadn’t seen before stood at the entrance to my cell. “Bathroom break.”
Lovely.
With massive effort, I got myself to standing again. And as I stepped out of the room, my eyes landed on Erin briefly. She looked a mix of horrified and concerned. I attempted to offer an encouraging smile, but I’m not sure how convincing it was. Not only did I not feel so reassured myself, but even with the minimal blows I’d taken to my face, it still ached.
We were escorted down the hall until we reached the end and turned left. After walking a few steps, we approached the bathroom. Before I stepped inside, I looked at what was beyond the bathroom. Two more closed doors on either side of the corridor and a single one straight ahead at the end of it, nothing to indicate what was behind any of them.
Unhappy with my inaction, one of my escorts shoved me forward into the bathroom. As much as I wanted to turn around and throttle him before closing the door for some privacy, I did neither. I couldn’t risk any of these men wanting to teach me a lesson so soon. I still had the urge to fight back, but physically, I needed the time to heal.
Without any more than a few looks between us, Erin and I finished in the bathroom and were escorted back to our cell. And not long after, our lights went out again.
I didn’t care.
I didn’t mind.
In fact, I was grateful for no interruptions. Because I lowered myself to the ground once more and allowed my body to relax and pull me under, promising myself that once I was feeling strong, I’d fight again.
* * *
I was stuck.
Stuck in a never-ending loop of despair.
I had hoped I wouldn’t break so easily, that the fight wouldn’t have left me, but there was simply far too much happening all at once that I needed to contend with.
Following the brutal beating I’d gotten that first day, I had no choice but to take it easy. The damage done to my body was so tremendous that it was a massive effort to do the simplest of things—like sitting up, walking, using the bathroom, and eating.
I couldn’t bring myself to care that my body had been put on display for anyone to see—it seemed it no longer belonged to me. Or, technically, I guess it wouldn’t be long before that was the case, if these men were successful in what they planned to do.
Feeling so beaten down and broken, both physically and mentally, I did everything I’d been ordered to do. Fighting back just wasn’t an option for me. Not when it hurt to lift my hand to my mouth just to take a drink.
Time passed so unbelievably slowly. I guessed that was to be expected when I was spending long, torturous hours in this empty cell with nothing to do and nobody to talk to. But as horrendous as it had been, it didn’t take me long to learn that having hours alone with myself and my thoughts was far better than the alternative.
Nothing about this place was good.
Not a single thing.
And I’d had plenty I’d experienced in all the time I’d been here.
Mealtimes were scarce, and the food certainly hadn’t been nourishing. It was enough to make it so we survived, but not one single woman’s body would thrive on the meager meals.
That was probably just it, though. As long as we were getting just enough food, we’d never have the strength to fight back.
I felt like I was constantly comparing one horrible thing to the next, making things that were atrocious not seem so bad.
Because the food situation was bleak, but it gave me something to do instead of simply sitting alone. And sitting alone, I quickly learned, was better than what happened two meals ago.
Unfortunately, I had no sense of time beyond mealtimes and bathroom breaks. Days had passed, without a doubt, but the number of them was a mystery. My best guess was that I’d been here four, possibly five, days now.
What I’d deemed day three had been the worst.
Because while there had still been that meal, the bathroom break, and the solitary time, there’d been something new added.
The first buying session. And that was easily enough to have me prepared to hurl up the meager sustenance.
It hadn’t started off poorly, though.
In fact, I hadn’t anticipated we were heading into anything bad when we’d been given the opportunity to have three minutes under the spray of a mostly cold shower. I thought it was a reward for good behavior, but I quickly learned it was because we were being prepped for potential owners, as it had been relayed to us.
Owners.
It was bad enough that Chris, Javier, those like them, and those they worked for, even existed. But that there were men who were willing, able, and fully prepared to participate in something so evil by purchasing another human being was beyond comprehension.
We’d all been given a fresh mesh dress and returned to our cells, where we were ordered to stand in the middle of the room while the buyers were paraded up and down the halls. They gawked at us, and we could do nothing if we didn’t want the single man standing guard in our room to shoot us.
Then it happened.
A man stood in front of my window. I didn’t dare make eye contact with him—we weren’t allowed. But I had a feeling that making that eye contact, especially when there was still a shred of determination inside me, would only make me stand out.
So, I held my breath and prayed he’d walk away. By some miracle, he did. He moved to the room to my left and looked inside. And barely a minute later, the woman in that room was led out of her cell, past my window, and off to some other place.
How I didn’t vomit on the spot, I didn’t know. Especially when she was the first of three that I’d seen hauled off. I didn’t want to imagine what might happen to them, but I got a clue when one of them returned. It couldn’t have been more than an hour that she was gone, but judging by the look on her face, there wasn’t an ounce of dignity left. The man she’d walked off with had returned, stood in front of a few more windows, and selected another. That girl never returned.
Based on my calculations, we were now on day six, and given that we’d just been ordered to have our second round of showers, it seemed another buying session was upon us.
I’d been brought back to my cell, and for the first time since he’d beaten me to a pulp, Javier was assigned to me. He stood no more than three or four feet away from me, glaring down at me with his pompous smirk as I waited in the middle of the room.
God, it was degrading. Standing here, practically naked, while these horrible men just did what they wanted.
“Maybe you’ll get lucky today. Maybe somebody will choose you, and you’ll finally be able to get out of here like you wanted,” he taunted me.
“Shut up,” I clipped.
Maybe that was foolish to do, but I didn’t think Javier would risk attacking me now that they’d have outsiders coming in. I wouldn’t physically fight him now, but I’d certainly throw him some attitude.
He laughed, the sound so evil. “Are you worried you might not get chosen?”
I balled my hands into fists as I stared at the ground and ignored him.
The sound of footsteps coming down the hall alerted me to the fact that I was mere moments away from another terrifying session. I saw their feet and legs as they strolled back and forth, and I attempted to soothe myself by being glad they were moving past my window.
But then a man stopped. He stopped and stood there for a long time. It felt like minutes. Full minutes when he looked at me, trying to decide if I was the one he wanted.
Please, no. Please, God, don’t let him choose me.
I was so terrified, I bit down hard on the inside of my lip. Eventually, I tasted blood, and that was the moment at which that man’s feet moved and walked away.
Air rushed out of my lungs.
“Aw, disappointing,” Javier goaded me.
I blocked him out, continuing to keep my head down. The last thing I wanted was to stay here any longer, but I couldn’t bear to think about what would happen if a man had shown any interest in me.
Where would I wind up? What horrible things would they do to me?
Something told me I didn’t want to know.
“You know, if nobody takes you after you’ve been here for too long, one of the guys here will get a turn with you.” Javier was leaning in closer, his voice dropped to just a touch over a whisper. “I’ve been thinking about it since you arrived and tossed me that attitude. I’d like a little fighter in my bed. Who knows? Maybe we’ll both get lucky if you last until the two-week mark.”
And I thought not being chosen was the best thing that could happen.
This was bad.
It was bad all the way around.
“Oh, man. What a shame.”
I dared to twist my neck and look up at Javier. “What?”
One half of his mouth quirked. “Some of the buyers like to put on a bit of a show. The man who’d been contemplating you was one of them, and I must admit, it would have been fun to see you in action. But I guess we’ll have to settle for watching your neighbor.”
Every muscle in my body tensed, and my eyes shot to that glass wall. To my utter horror, a man had entered Erin’s cell. She looked like she wanted the ground to swallow her up. I couldn’t say I wouldn’t have felt the same.
The man who’d been guarding her slowly stepped away, then backed out of the room as the buyer approached her.
Erin’s head stayed down, but she knew. She knew what was going to happen, and I could see her trembling from here. My throat clogged as tears filled my eyes.
If only I had been able to do something else, something more. Maybe I could have saved her from this.
The man came to a stop just inches in front of her and said something. Erin lifted her head, and the man had the audacity to stare into her terrified eyes and smile.
I dug my nails into my palms, my body on edge.
And then I saw Erin drop to her knees in front of him. He took her hand in his and placed it over his crotch.
Unable to stand it, I closed my eyes and dropped my head forward. That could have been me. And because it wasn’t, it was her. How was I supposed to live with that?
Lost in my thoughts about it, I hadn’t expected what happened next. Javier’s body came up behind mine, and he wrapped one hand around the front of my body. He rested it lightly on my abdomen before trailing it up toward my breasts. Javier’s hand shifted to one side, cupped my breast, and stroked his thumb over my nipple. His cock was pressing into my backside. “Oh, yeah. You’re going to be a lot of fun.”
I jerked my body away from his grasp and looked him dead in the eye. “I’ll fight you every step of the way.”
Javier grinned. “I’ll enjoy every minute of it.”
He stepped to my side and focused his attention across the hall. I stupidly followed his lead and instantly felt sick.
A moment later, I experienced a whisper of a touch on my bare arm. “Enjoy the show.”
Javier stepped away and walked out. Then the lights went out everywhere, except in Erin’s cell.
I fell to my knees as I dared to glance up and saw him shoving his cock into her mouth. Tears spilled down my cheeks, and I cried in my hands.
How would I ever survive this? How would any of us survive?
I cried for a long time, thinking it couldn’t possibly get any worse. But these men who had us here knew exactly what they were doing. Because I suddenly heard something in my cell.
Noise.
Sound.
Cries of pain and desperation.
I looked up, trying to figure out where it was coming from, and that’s when I realized they’d somehow filtered the sound from inside Erin’s cell into mine. And when I looked across the hall, I saw her palms pressed against the glass, tears spilling down her cheeks as she cried while the man raped her.
“Stop!” I yelled, covering my ears. “Stop it!!”
I couldn’t take it. If I wasn’t going to watch, they were going to make me listen to it. I made my way to the corner of the room, curled up in a ball, and covered my ears.
Maybe that made me a horrible person, but I couldn’t bear it. I couldn’t bear to hear the devastation play out.
And I knew that was selfish of me. Because what I endured was nothing compared to what happened to Erin.
If she ever got out of here, if any of us did, there was no question that we’d never be the same.