Chapter 2 #2
“Our squadron? He wants him… to join us?” There was no denying the rise in pitch, laughter bubbling within, but Matt was always good at holding it. “I mean, you’re great at cracking the average man, but he seems like a lost cause. What happens if he doesn’t meet the standard? Does it fall on you?”
My jaw feathered. “Do you want the honest answer? Or would you prefer I beat around the bush?”
“You really have to ask?”
“Yes. It falls on me.”
“Goddamn it, Thorne.” His teeth clacked, couch ruffling as he sat upright, the cue for the onslaught of his thoughts. “You have enough on your plate already, and besides, why is it always you? Are there really not enough competent people to handle one pompous kid?”
“What can I say? I’m known for my ruthless demeanor and my nuanced ability to break people psychologically—two things Andrew Valens happens to love about me.
” Biting my cheek, I shook my head, avoiding his gaze.
“I mean, we agreed that, if his son’s failures fell on me, it wouldn’t cost me my position, though my body was included in the deal.
So I mean, there’s the former benefit to rely on, right? ”
“You mean that facade you continue to push forward? Yeah, definitely not a cost,” he muttered, his gaze boring into me. “It’s already done, so it’s not like I can properly offer advice, but you have me to lean on, you know. I think I’d enjoy a lesson with the kid.”
The admittance left me before I could stop it. “I have you to lean on if there’s any of me left.”
Matt clasped my shoulder, squeezing enough to provide a semblance of comfort. “You know I’ll always pick up the pieces.”
Cutting him off, I shook my head. “No, Matt, you’re not listening to me. The deal I made with Valens—”
“Deal? What else did you offer?” Gone was his neutral tone, a deeper edge to his voice replacing it. “Thorne, I swear if you—”
“If I tell you, you’re going to want to kill me.”
“I’m already there, so talk.”
“He was threatening to dismantle our squad. We’ve already lost enough.
You’ve lost enough, and I can’t bear the fucking thought of being the cause of more hardship.
” Rubbing my eyes with my thumb and forefinger, I swallowed.
“He leveraged you against me in that conversation, Matthew; he said he’d send you back to Iraq. So I did what I had to fucking do.”
“So you decided for me? I get you’re trying to protect what’s left, but when is the cost enough? You’ve paid it. I’ve paid it!”
“Exactly!” I screamed, shoving him away from me. “I refuse to send you back there! To let him send you back there! I can handle a few bruises, lashings, whatever the fuck he wants to do to me. But I cannot handle any more mental anguish!”
He took a breath, silence brewing for what seemed like minutes before he parted his lips.
“I know. I know you can handle these things, but what kind of mental load do you think I have to harbor knowing you carry the weight of my burdens, too? We’ve survived all kinds of shit, and this isn’t any different.
I know you did what you had to do, because fuck knows Andrew loves to corner you, but I’m still here.
If you need me to take on other duties while you focus on the kid, you tell me.
I know I’m not the epitome of ruthless, but I can still be helpful. ”
“First, they aren’t your burdens. I made the decision.
I agreed to serve as his punching bag if I happen to fail this assignment, and God, I have a feeling I might.
” Clenching my jaw, I looked up at the only man I had left.
“I know you’re more than capable of taking on other duties, and if needed, you know I will ask. ”
“Then what’ll give you the best chance at success?
The kid’s not invincible, and if anyone could do it, it’s you.
You know, I might be able to use my charm and snoop to see if I can find his weak points,” he added, refusing to flinch from my gaze.
“You’re not always the most pleasant with first encounters. ”
“Okay, asshole,” I groaned, rolling my eyes. “You think this spiteful descendant of one of our most favorite men will enjoy spending time with my second in command? Your naivety is adorable.”
“Why not?” He grinned and rubbed the stubble along his jaw.
“What’s there to lose? I gain his trust, and you continue to beat his ass until I figure out where his pressure points lie.
Are you forgetting I’m anything other than kind?
It’s why we work so well, because I carry every trait you seem to lack. ”
“Every trait I seem to lack? Like what?”
“Hmm, thoughtful, charming, oh, and like I said earlier, pleasant,” he teased.
“It brings me joy to know you like my attributes despite getting on your nerves most of the time.” Matt stood, the clinking of glass catching my attention before he settled two cups on the table, hefty pours of liquor added.
“Except we both can agree it’d be a waste to keep the remaining bourbon in this bottle, and despite it all, I think you might need the rest to make it through training that kid. ”
“You’re supporting my bad habits after lecturing me about them?” Chuckling, I lifted an amused brow in his direction. “That’s quite hypocritical of you, Harveil.”
“Don’t get used to it, Graves. Indulgence is for the mighty, and today, I think we both could swing it.”
“Fine.” My tongue clicked against the roof of my mouth as I leaned forward, securing my glass. Raising it toward him, I gently tapped mine against his rim, dipping my chin. “Then indulge we will.”