9. 9 #3
Lips met again, tongues reaching out to reunite.
The blankets were bunched between us, and I couldn’t feel him underneath me.
I ground against him anyway, drawing a sharp exhale from his lips.
I loved to hear him breathe, hot in my mouth or tickling my neck.
Even without speaking I knew exactly how he felt about what I was doing, his sighs and sounds guiding me in the right direction.
I grabbed at his hair, trying to get closer even still, and he clutched onto my hips, attempting to do the same. Our quiet desperation hung in the air between us, growing more evident the harder we clung to each other.
Elias was frenzied now, and he pushed me off to the side of him, and I landed flat on my stomach, my arms loosely above my head in front of me.
He was on his knees, yanking my pants down and off.
My skin prickled as the cool air reached my legs, but Elias was quick behind me, his hands trailing up my calves and thighs, over my curves and up to the sides of my breasts.
My body an atlas underneath him, he read the lines and shapes with his fingertips.
I turned my head to look back at him, to kiss him again, hoping he was near, but he’d already pulled away, busy discarding his own clothing.
The dark curtains drawn, he was barely visible, but the scar on his shoulder shined a little brighter than the rest of him.
My eyes trailed down his chest and stomach, firm, but soft to the touch.
With a muted thud, his pants hit the floor.
He brought the bedsheets with him, covering us as he leaned onto me.
“It’s so cold in here,” he whispered, his lips moving against my ear.
“You’re warm.”
“So are you.”
His knee slid under mine, hiking it up to spread my legs for him.
He was hard against my thigh as he maneuvered me, his left hand finding mine, fingers lacing between my own.
His right hand touched me, tested me, and sought to see if I was ready for him.
He wasted no time in positioning himself to enter me.
My words came out between jagged breaths. “You’re in a hurry.”
“Te deseo, cari?o.” His voice was featherlight.
He pressed into me slowly, and I held my breath until he was flush against me. When he settled inside of me, we sighed together at the connection between us, whole again.
Kissing my shoulder, he moved deliberately, taking his time.
My body was on fire underneath him, and I buried my head in the pillow to muffle the sounds he drew from me.
He pulled almost entirely out of me before inching his way back in, and I trembled from his touch, my cry dampened in the cotton pillowcase.
My free hand reached down beneath us to touch myself, barely able to fit underneath our bodies, my hips shifting to give it space. Elias nestled his face into my neck, each unsteady breath sending a tingle down my spine.
He moved leisurely, teasing me. He let go of my hand, his own joining mine between my legs. He didn’t replace my hand, instead resting his fingers on mine, and he moaned as he felt me touching myself.
Excited, he increased his pace. Heat pooled in my belly, spreading further and further, branching out like lightning, following every vein, every nerve. His tongue darted out, kissing where my shoulder met my neck.
The warmth reached my toes, my fingertips, and I came, my open mouth in the pillow unable to make a coherent sound. I strained, the noises escaping from my lips breathy and stuttering from Elias sinking into me.
He bit lightly at my shoulder as I shuddered around him, coaxing him to join me. It wasn't long before he reached his own orgasm, grunting as he came inside me.
Collapsing, his breath was heavy, and he panted against me. He leaned on his arm, careful not to put all of his weight on me. “Do you need more?” He asked between breaths. “I know I rushed through that. I can use my mouth on you.”
“I’m great,” I said, my voice suppressed by the pillow.
“Are you sure? I want to take care of you.”
“I'm sure.”
Elias pulled out of me, resting against my back, and his arm draped over me. I didn’t want to move, and I stayed face down in the pillow while my body recovered.
“Can it always feel like that?” I asked.
“What do you mean?”
“That was really intense. I don’t know,” I said, my face growing hot. “I just felt so connected to you.”
“Yeah,” he agreed. “Feeling a little emotional.”
“Me, too. Should I cry before we have sex more often?”
He snorted. “No, I don’t like it when you cry.”
After regaining the ability to move my arms and legs, I turned over into his chest. He laid on his side, facing me, and I snuggled right in, adjusting my limbs to get as close as possible under the blankets.
Elias pressed his face into my hair, breathing deeply. “I’ll retire.”
“What?”
“When my contract is up, I’ll retire,” he declared. “I’ll quit. I’ll figure it out.”
“You don’t need to do that.”
“If I didn’t have to leave anymore, would it make you happy?”
Yes. I shook my head, pushing the thought away. “I don’t want you to quit. You like your work.”
“Not as much as I like you.”
My chest tightened to the point of pain. “We’re good, I’m good.” I didn’t want him to give up anything for me.
He held me close, his voice barely above a whisper.
“I want to wake up next to you. I want to hear you talk about your day. I want to watch you eat your favorite foods and get your black fingernail polish on my coffee table. I care so much about you that it makes me physically ill. I really don’t want to mess this up.
Whatever you want, I’ll give it to you. You’re it for me, Cassie. You’re it.”
I didn’t want to cry again, I wanted to rewind, to undo the doubt I’d sowed into his mind. He didn’t need this, and neither did I. “I’m going to have bad days and I’m going to cry sometimes. I’m not going to leave you because of it.”
Elias joked, deflected, and danced around discussing his feelings. By no means was he ever dishonest, but he’d never pleaded with me like this. The reaction I had to my dream had brought out an insecurity of his that I’d never seen before.
“We’re not going to quit our jobs, even if we could,” I said. “You’re what I want. It wasn’t even a decision I had to make.”
“Okay,” he breathed.
We laid still, the moment hanging over us.
“Elias,” I whispered.
“Yeah?”
“I need a nap.”