CHAPTER FOURTEEN
A FEW WEEKS HAVE PASSED by and I’ve almost stopped being able to smell the salty air of the sea and the abundance of flowers Amethyst keeps around the castle. Except for after a storm when the scents become more pronounced. It’s comforting.
What’s not so comforting is that Killian and Aemon are still avoiding me outside of training, which frustrates me to shit.
Amethyst still isn’t back from wherever she went, and I can’t stop thinking about the kisses I’ve shared with Jesper and Killian.
Neither of them have touched me again, but as the days go by, I want them to.
More than anything. I find myself dreaming about their lips across my skin and my body tingles just thinking about it.
Jesper said he would wait for me to be ready, but am I?
I have too many questions and not enough answers for the feelings I have that seem to be developing at an unprecedented rate.
Mel is firmly on the kissing train; meanwhile, Ember thinks I should be more cautious until we have more information.
Especially with this weird mark that showed up and how my body craves to be in the same vicinity as those three males.
It’s unusual, and lately I’ve even noticed another pull that seems so far away.
For now, with no better answer, I’m putting these strange sensations down to stress.
“You don’t need reasons to kiss someone, Rav. You just need to like them enough to give kissing a chance. I’m sure everything will work itself out. Now, are we going to get out of bed? Breakfast will be soon and I’m hungry,” Nero whines.
“You have a point,” I mumble. “Since Kill is avoiding me still, maybe I’ll talk to Jesper?
Is that strange? ‘Hey Jesper, remember that time you kissed me? Yeah? Well I would like to do it again. You know, for experimental purposes.’ What are we even experimenting with again?
” I rub my forehead. Why is this so hard?
Nero hops onto my chest and peers down at me. “To see if you like them? I don’t know. To broaden your horizons with the male and female experience that can apparently happen horizontally and vertically. Your species can do the nasty so many different kinds of ways it almost makes a bird jealous.”
I choke on my own saliva as I push him off me and slide out of bed. “I didn’t need to know that Nero,” I laugh as I start my morning routine.
“It got you out of bed, didn’t it? Now let’s go before I wither away to dust from starvation.”
My snort erupts into a fit of laughter. “The window is always open; you can hunt or scavenge whenever you want. You’re by no means starving, you spoiled bird.”
He gasps. “Spoiled? I’m no such thing! Spoiled would be so many eyeballs I couldn’t carry them all,” he adds with a suggestive tilt of his head which I ignore.
Nero lands on my shoulder after I’m dressed and ready to go.
We’ll eat breakfast and then go down to the Keep to take Vasari out for a flight.
I’ve been borrowing a saddle for her, but it doesn’t fit right, which makes flying harder than it needs to be.
Jesper took our measurements about two weeks ago to give to the leatherworker and saddler, so hopefully that comes in soon.
My mind wanders off to Jesper’s warm hands between my thighs as he used the measuring tape…
I shake my head. No. None of those thoughts before breakfast. That was a completely innocent interaction.
With my mind in shambles, I open my door and head off down the hall for food and a day full of training with males that give me mixed signals.
Am I insane for being interested in them all?
I mean, it was tradition for the Queen to take four consorts back when there used to be fated mates, which has continued into present time.
But I’m not Queen. Just a lost, fractured princess who’s trying to find her way home, and get some revenge while she’s at it.
Everyone but Aemon is already here, which seems to be the norm.
He tends to arrive as we’re finishing up and leaving.
I just wish I knew what his problem was.
He was so determined when he first took me from Phixmery.
It’s just another reason to add to the list of why these males are confusing.
It hurts my heart thinking that these are the males I was so close to growing up, but now they are avoiding me like a plague. Well, except for Jesper.
As I sit down, Jesper smirks. “You’re with me today, Little Mouse. The leatherworker sent word that Vasari’s saddle will be here this afternoon, so your morning has been cleared.”
“What about us?” Roz asks as he shoves a whole sausage link into his mouth and groans, his words barely intelligible: “I love the food here so much.”
Ember slaps him upside the head. “Manners. You’d think you were fucking the damn thing.”
He grins at her and leans closer once he can talk again. “I can think of something I’d rather be doing with my mouth. All you need to do is invite me to your rooms.” He winks and she turns a bright shade of red.
“Not in this lifetime, Stoll,” she mumbles without the usual bite of her words.
“Oh they are so going to do it,” Nero adds, making me choke on the egg I just tried to swallow.
I place my utensils down, trying to keep my composure. “So how will we be spending the morning?”
Jesper leans back in his chair and grins.
“We are going to work on your Szellemi magick, of course. The others will be doing whatever they normally do. I figured it was about time we have a little one-on-one. What do you say, Mousey? Want to come play with the beasts?” There’s a wild glint in his eye that has me squeezing my thighs together and I watch as his nostrils flare, knowing that he’s caught the scent of my body reacting to his words.
My face reddens and Killian growls, abruptly getting up from the table, leaving his plate half full as he exits the room.
“Ignore him,” Jesper adds. “He’ll have his time with you when he gets the stick out of his ass.” He winks again like we share a secret. One that seems I’ve been left out of.
“He’s a scary bastard,” Mel mumbles, taking a sip of her glass chalice that’s filled with orange juice.
“Killian’s not that bad once you get to know him,” I tell her, touching my lips as I remember the searing kiss he gave me. A kiss of yearning and pain—I swear I can still feel his lips against mine.
Mel nods, but I’m not sure she believes me.
I suppose I can see where she’s coming from though.
He’s a massive male, scarred and rugged.
It’s understandable why other fae would be intimidated by him, but for me, he draws me in.
Ever since I got my memories back, I can’t help but want to be around them all.
I’ve missed them without even realizing it—even if they aren’t the same as I remember.
The only one who seems to have remained mostly the same is Jesper, although he does have a darker side to him now.
The rest of breakfast passes by quickly and I say goodbye to my friends as they head off to train with their bonded beasts, while Jesper guides me down the corridors of the castle.
We stop briefly at a door as he unlocks it and enters.
It only takes a moment before I realize that this must be where he’s been staying while we’ve been here.
“Come and sit down on the floor here with me.” He pats the ground where he’s sitting near the end of his bed.
My gaze strays to the bed quickly before I force myself to focus on him. What in the hell is wrong with me? We are here for training. That’s all. Taking even, measured steps to help keep my heart rate calm, I move towards Jesper and sit across from him, leaving about a two foot gap between us.
“You’re nervous,” he states, tilting his head slightly as his gaze slowly drags over me. “I said I wouldn’t do anything until you’re ready. If nothing else, I am a male of my word, Ravina.”
Unable to say anything because my tongue feels like it’s tied in knots, I nod.
If my non-verbal answer bothers him, he doesn’t let on, pushing forward with this lesson. “Tell me what you’ve learned. Have you been able to use your Szellemi magick successfully at all?”
“Yes…” I wince as I realize that I’m going to have to explain what we were doing to need it. “Roz was helping me with the basics. He taught me how to hide myself and others. How to sense others’ minds so I can infiltrate them. I’ve only practiced on my friends, though.”
Jesper nods his head thoughtfully. “Has Roz ever tried to enter your head?” His mismatched eyes gleam with curiosity.
I shake my head. “Once. He said I had strong mental barriers. I even tried to take them down but I couldn’t, so we gave up.”
He nods again. “Would you mind if little ol’ me gave it a try?” He gives me an impish grin—the same one I remember.
My heart pangs with the memory but I dip my head anyway. “If you think it will help, sure.”
He doesn’t respond, just stares at me intently like I’ve seen him do so many times before, and it makes me wonder if he’s already tried this and was curious if I knew.
It’s then I feel him brush along my mental barrier with a feather-like touch that sends a shiver down my spine.
With a gentle push, I feel him breach my mind and I gasp. His eyes widen.
“Hello there, Ravina,” I hear him like a distant whisper.
Not nearly as clear as when speaking with Vasari and Nero.
It’s almost like trying to communicate in a wind storm.
I can actually feel Nero startle at hearing Jesper’s voice in my head.
“I see your pretty little mind opened for me. Such a good girl.” I blink at those words as they light a fire in the pit of my stomach.
“I’ve been waiting to see if this would work.
It’s been tempting. Entering your mind like this is even better than I imagined. ”