CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
NOW THAT THE ADRENALINE HAS worn off, the mourning of so many lives lost is really setting in.
The sunrise is showing the true extent of the devastation.
Aemon and Jesper have stuck close to me, their subtle touches keeping me grounded as we attempt to clean up the mess of obliterated tents and gather the dead.
So many dead. My heart aches for the pointless amount of lives lost.
Killian is off helping the warriors with building pyres and Talyn…
well, I haven’t seen him since he yelled at and then kissed me.
Although Jesper did say that he was with his sister.
Apparently, Dante whisked her away when the wraiths showed up and brought her back when it was safe.
I’m grateful that everyone we care about made it through that battle.
I’m still not sure what we are going to do.
Our numbers have significantly diminished.
The morale of the remaining soldiers is almost non-existent now—I see how their joy and amazement turns back to fear and hopelessness as soon as I’ve passed them by.
I can’t say I blame them. Cries of the wounded echo in my ears as I go through what’s left of the camp, doing whatever I can to help pitch in.
The once loud and proud warriors are near silent as they work to clean up the devastation.
All I want to do is curl up with my males and rest, but I can’t. If I’m to be their Queen then I need to put on a brave face and at least pretend I know what I’m doing. That all hope isn’t lost, even though it feels like it is.
At least this confirms our suspicions that the Soul Stone is no longer underneath Phixmery, but that doesn’t explain how this has been going on for a year.
How are the Lords using it without the blood of a Gallalaus fae?
They must have kept one alive. If that’s true then we need to figure out where they are being kept and rescue them, then figure out what to do with the Soul Stone once and for all.
It can never be used like this ever again.
I remember the stories my parents told me as a fledgling about how the fates had gifted the stone to the Gallalaus eons ago during a time of great peril when demons, with no sense of peace and living only for bloodshed, threatened to destroy the realm.
The wraiths were meant for protection, not to be used against our own kind.
But even so, the details of the stories are fogged with time.
One thing I do remember is that the stone was supposedly lost to time. Apparently, that is no longer true.
My fingers dig into the dirt as I coax the blood-stained earth to grow trees, shaping them into huts to rest in for the night. Leaves bloom thickly to help keep the elements at bay. It’s not as extravagant as the tents but it’s better than leaving the troops unprotected.
Hands slide around my waist, pulling me up from my crouched position. “You should rest, Little Dream,” Aemon murmurs, kissing my forehead as he spins me to face him. “You’re worn out. You’ve used a lot of magick.”
“They need me. I’m fine. I’ll rest when the work is done. Working with little sleep and pain—emotional and physical—is nothing new to me. Let me do this,” I state firmly, meeting his eyes with hard resolve.
He searches my face, his normally white hair dirtied with the fight and ash. “They will understand that their Queen needs rest. You saved them. You saved all of us.”
“Not everyone,” I remind him grimly. “So many fae died tonight because of those creatures. It’s time to get off the defensive. We need more troops. We need to find where they are hiding that stone.”
His head dips slowly. “The fae we sent to search and watch the Lords made it out of camp before the attack. We will regroup in the morning—there’s not much we can do now.
But Ravina, the fae lost tonight… There was nothing you could have done.
Before you, there was no way to defeat those creatures.
We heard the reports of razed villages with no survivors.
You gave us hope that all isn’t lost. We can figure out a way to arm our soldiers.
It may take awhile to gather enough shadow stone to make weapons—”
“What metalsmith will be able to do that en masse? The male who made my sword had to be talked into making mine.”
Aemon pulls me in close. “We can figure out the details after resting. Come on, Jesper is waiting for you.”
“Jesper?”
He sighs. “I need to report back to my mother. Jesper won’t admit it, but what happened tonight shook him. Shook all of us. Seeing you so close to death and us being unable to get near you… It’s not something I ever want to experience again.”
I squeeze his hand, remembering the helplessness as my body—as something—took over and brought Vasari and I to the middle of battle.
I reach for my bond with each of my males.
I may not be able to feel them like I can Aemon, but I know they are there.
When I’m satisfied that they are relatively okay, I reach out to Nero and sense that he’s scavenging from enemy soldiers. He’ll be busy all day at this rate.
With a sigh, I lean into Aemon. “Fine. But only for a few hours. We have too much to do and I don’t want us caught unaware like that again.”
His relief crashes through the bond like a wave as he blinks us away, and I find myself in one of the few remaining tents. Aemon disappears into the shadows and I realize I’m not alone.
Jesper is staring at me with hungry eyes and I think I just became his meal.
AEMON IS GONE as swiftly as we appeared, leaving Jesp and I alone in the tent. We stare at each other for only a moment before he moves quicker than my brain can comprehend, engulfing me in his arms and burying his head in my disheveled hair.
“I swear to the fucking fates, Beastie—if you ever do anything like that again, I will bend you over my knee and slap your ass until you can’t do anything without the reminder of your punishment. Or maybe I’ll get Talyn to do it when he pulls his head out of his ass.”
An exhausted, broken chuckle escapes. “I didn’t mean to scare you, or the others.”
He pulls back and cups my cheek, his calloused thumbs brushing back and forth slowly.
“I thought I was going to lose you,” he mutters brokenly.
“I can’t do that again. I spent twenty-one years thinking you were dead.
I refuse to relive that pain. I will follow you into the aether, and I will fight the fates themselves to bring you back to us.
I can’t live without you,” he whispers, his voice cracking with devastating emotion.
I’m unable to voice my words; I refuse to make promises I know I can’t keep. I kiss him. I kiss him and pour out every ounce of my feelings for him. For every minute that was taken from us. For every prank that didn’t happen, for every good and bad memory that we didn’t get to create.
“Mate me. Make me your mate, Jesper Verlice. Make me yours forever.”
The only noise in the room is a small inhale from his lips before they crash feverishly onto mine again. “I thought you’d never ask,” he groans, cupping my ass and scooping me off the ground. “First we need to get this armor off you.”
I’m not sure how he does it but he manages to remove each piece with one hand as he carries me towards the cot.
By the time we reach it, I’m only dressed in the leathers and Aemon’s tunic which I was sleeping in before everything happened.
I know I should be mourning the dead and not giving into my pleasure, but I need to feel something other than the pain and numbness that comes from battle.
My fingers thread through his deep red locks, keeping him anchored close to me.
The bond creates a sense of urgency between us like it knows what’s about to happen.
Suddenly there’s nothing but Jesper, nothing but the firm, soothing grip of his hands as he strips me bare and holds me like I’m delicate. Like I’m precious to him.
“You are precious to me,” he mutters against my lips.
Did I say that out loud?
He chuckles hungrily. “No, your walls are wide open. Every little tantalizing thought I’ve been able to read.”
I begin to feel embarrassed but he bites my lip.
“None of that. I want every part of you. The dirty thoughts when you think I’m not listening, your anger and rage.
When you’re more bloodthirsty than Nero.
Fates—especially that. Nothing is more attractive than you cutting down your enemies and getting slathered in their blood,” he rasps.
“Don’t hide from me, Little Mouse. Embrace the beautiful, dangerous beastie I know that you are. ”
His words create a power in me—confidence, if I have to put a word to it, and I go with it. Just like on the field I manage to blink, pulling Jesper with me, and next thing I know he’s under me and I’m straddled on top, completely bare for him. For my mate.
“Fuck,” he groans and I feel his length pulse against my cunt.
“You have too much clothing on,” I tell him, using my shadows to blink them into a pile on the floor. “That’s better.”
He groans again, deeply, as I slide down against his body to his thighs, watching his cock bob and glisten with need.
“I promise I’m going to fuck you,” I tell him. “But first, I think I’ll start where I left off. I want to taste you. I need to have you in my mouth.”
The lust in his gaze is captivating, making me feel powerful. With Aemon, I’ve never taken charge. Even with the few times Jesper and I have played around, I’ve always let him lead, but I need this and I think he knows that.
My tongue darts out and I lick up the glistening bead that is waiting for me, a sneak peek to the treat at the end. I hum in pleasure before licking up his shaft to the tip, wrapping my lips around him and sucking.
“Fuck Rav. Your mouth is—” he chokes and grabs my head as I push him down in my throat, taking him as deep as I can, but I can’t quite get to the base.
It doesn’t matter though, because Jesper is murmuring something like a prayer, or speaking in tongues perhaps.
Pride gushes through me as I continue my ministrations: stroking, sucking, licking.
I cup his balls as I come up for air and get back to it.
His hips jerk and he curses again. “Stop, Temptress, or I’m going to come, and I want the first time I do that to be in your tight little cunt.”
I ignore him, fighting against the grip he has on me as I project into his mind. “No, I want to taste you. I want your cum down my throat. Then, I’ll fuck you like the good mate you are for behaving.”
His next groan is guttural as he fists the bed and thrusts up into my mouth. Hot, sweet, yet musky liquid coats my throat as his cock pulses over and over again, and I can’t help but whimper around him, causing him to gasp.
The noises coming from him only fuel my need and I want to do nothing but wring more of those sounds from him. He stays hard, watching me through darkened eyes as I ever so slowly crawl up his body, pressing my wet center along the length of his stiff cock.
We both gasp as I slide against him before running my hand teasingly down his muscular chest to where our bodies meet. I grip him and position him at my entrance, keeping my eyes on his. I notch him just inside me before smirking.
I lean down and whisper, “How badly do you want to be my mate?” I kiss his cheek.
“How badly do you want me to fuck you and make you mine?” He moans something unintelligible and I kiss closer to his mouth.
“How badly do you want to be inside me, filling me with your cum?” The words are bold but they slip out, and I’m so turned on that I’m not even embarrassed by how dominant I’m being with this strong, unhinged male that is all mine.
He smirks, grabbing my ass which throws me off balance as he picks me up slightly and thrusts, slamming himself into me. I gasp at the sudden intrusion as he waits for me to adjust to him.
“Teasing me is something that I can only tolerate for so long,” he growls as he slowly pulls out and thrusts into me again.
“You make me wild with want for you. But just so you know, Beastie, I will only ever submit to you like that. You could hold a knife to my neck while you fuck my brains out. Tie me up, do whatever you want. Just know,” he flips us over, his red locks creating an illusion of privacy around us, “that once you take me to the point of no return, I will return the favor tenfold.”
He draws out of me before slamming back in, his pace getting faster and faster. The heat curling in my stomach begins building, higher and higher, with each stroke hitting that perfect spot inside me.
“Jesper,” I groan, grabbing at him, my nails raking down his shoulders as I get closer to coming. The mark on my side begins to burn and he hisses as he feels it too.
“Come for me, Temptress. Let me feel you squeeze my cock. Let me feel you milk me dry as you become my mate forever,” he growls, his thrusts deepening.
His hand snakes between us and the moment he touches that sensitive bundle of nerves, I explode, my teeth sinking into his forearm as our bond finally snaps into place, settling next to Aemon’s in my chest.
He roars and hisses before his teeth find their home in my neck, visible for all to see, as his hips stutter against me and I feel him fill me.
Our breaths are heavy as we come down from the high. Jesper grins brightly, his pointed canines covered in my blood somehow making him even more attractive. “I love you, Ravina.” He kisses me softly. “Thank you for giving me the most amazing gift, of becoming your mate officially.”
“Thank you for wanting me,” I whisper as my eyes begin to shutter. “I love you too, Jespie.”
His arms wrap around me and pull me close as I relax into him and fall into oblivion.