CHAPTER 10 KAYLEE
I watch as the always cool Ben takes a turn into unfamiliar territory. He wrings his hands together, staring down at them as his elbows are bent, resting on his knees as he rocks forward a little.
Clearly he’s tapping into some area that makes him highly uncomfortable. For as much as I want him to let me in, I want him to do it on his terms. I don’t want to be the cause of whatever this is. It’s a completely different Ben than the one I know.
We’re still at the start of things here, and it’s okay to take our time getting to know each other.
So we got engaged tonight. I’m not exactly sure what that means, but it’s okay. It’s not like we’re rushing off to the altar tomorrow.
But tonight…there are certain things a fiancée wants to do with her fiancé the night they get engaged.
I reach over and take his fidgeting hands in mine. “Hey, Ben?” I say softly.
He glances up, and I spot absolute anguish in his eyes. Whatever it is and wherever he just took himself to…I don’t want him to be there.
I want him here with me.
I climb onto his lap sideways so I’m sitting across him rather than straddling him, and I wrap my arms around his neck. “Whatever it is can wait, okay? It’s late. Maybe two in the morning after a night of drinking isn’t the time for this conversation.”
He clears his throat and exhales a long breath before he nods, and his entire body seems to sag with relief that he doesn’t have to stay wherever he just went.
His lips brush my neck. “Are you sure?” he asks softly. “You just said you wanted me to let you in.”
“I know I did. And we have time for all that. And I still want to let you in tonight…but maybe I mean physically rather than emotionally.”
I pull back a little and his eyes find mine. The nervousness seems to have disappeared, and in its place is a heat that’s becoming so familiar to me that I know exactly what it means. I can’t help it. I squirm on his lap because that look he’s giving me is the promise of passion and pleasure.
And it’s exactly what I want for my birthday.
It’s exactly what I want after nearly a week away from him.
“How’s your rib?” I ask as I make sure he’s okay to do this. I don’t want him to perform any sort of physical activity that could endanger his recovery since he has training camp on the horizon.
“It’s a long road to recovery, but it’s definitely good enough for sex.”
I giggle. He covers my mouth with his, and then there’s no more laughing as the kiss immediately turns urgent and fiery.
It’s the first kiss we’ve had like this since I suffered a concussion, and maybe if we’d have done this sooner, I would’ve recovered faster…because holy shit. Everything in the world feels exactly right when Ben holds me in his arms and kisses me like this.
And it only gets better as he pulls back and takes my hand, leading me up the stairs to the bedroom. He slowly undresses me before he undresses himself, and then he takes the top as he plunges into me.
Real or fake, I promised to marry this man tonight.
And the thought of spending forever in his bed, in his arms, in his life…it’s what pushes me forward into a mind-numbing orgasm that seems to carry on for days.
Just as I hit my peak, I feel him hit his, too.
He covers my mouth aggressively with his as we both thrash our way through intense climaxes together, and once our bodies each start to calm, he relaxes down partially on top of me and partially to the side of me.
His lips graze my neck as we both fight to catch our breath.
“Happy birthday, future wife,” he murmurs sleepily.
I can’t help a wide smile. “Thank you, future husband. For the birthday wishes and for the orgasm.”
He leans up and grins at me. “They don’t call me The Big O for nothing.”
I giggle. “It’s a well-earned nickname.”
I must fall asleep because I wake to the smell of bacon the next morning along with something sweet. I open my eyes and spot Ben walking in with a tray of food.
“What’s all this?” I ask, sitting up in bed.
“Your birthday breakfast. Bacon, eggs, and those raspberry chocolate croissants you enjoyed so much last time.” He slides the tray over to me.
“And I made a pot of coffee, but I also noticed you reach for Diet Dr Pepper every morning and sometimes you don’t even drink coffee, so I grabbed you a soda. If you want coffee instead, I can—”
“Stop,” I say with a giggle. “Soda is perfect. Except it’s called pop, not soda. Only someone who listens to Nickelback would make that mistake.”
He laughs. “Damn country music millennial.”
“I’m actually Gen Z,” I say, and the way his brows dip makes me immediately regret bringing up our age gap again. “I hate to break it to you, but you’re the only millennial in here.”
He wrinkles his nose. “I feel like I relate more to Gen X.”
“Me too.” I lift a shoulder. “It’s just a stereotypical label, anyway.”
“So twenty-three, huh? No Taylor Swift songs about that age,” he says, and I laugh as I think about my anthem for the previous year of my life when I was “Twenty-Two,” one of her popular songs.
“True, but she’s a queen and has a pretty extensive music catalogue, so I’m sure I can find something I relate to at twenty-three. Just don’t go breaking my heart since most of my favorite songs by her fit that category.”
He reaches over and squeezes our fingers together for a second, and then he glances over at me.
“I’ll try my hardest not to, but all this comes with a fair warning.
You know what you’re getting with me. I’m not good at this shit, and I’ll probably do something to fuck it up. That’s almost a guarantee.”
I take a bite of bacon because I’m not sure what to say as his words feel an awful lot like a bad omen.
I decide to stick with what my gut is telling me. Maybe it’ll be a rough road ahead, but that’s something future me can deal with. Instead, I’m going to enjoy the right here, right now of today.
After my birthday breakfast, I head toward the shower. Just before I get in, I grab my birth control pills from the drawer where I keep them.
When I go to pop today’s pill out of the packet, something is off.
Today is Saturday…right?
I know I took a pill yesterday morning, but yesterday I didn’t take Friday’s. I took Wednesday’s. I don’t remember missing any pills…but my head has also been fairly foggy since the concussion.
The pills sitting right here in the packet don’t lie, though. I’m two days behind.
And we had sex last night.
Hot sex, to be sure, but definitely unprotected hot sex.
Oh shit.