CHAPTER 3 KAYLEE
By the time Ben gets home from lunch, we only have about an hour until we have to leave for Jack and Kate’s rehearsal dinner.
They’re treating this like a real wedding since they didn’t get the chance to the first time, and I’m excited for a fun night out with family and close friends…
plus whoever else decides to crash the party.
The general public doesn’t know Kate and Jack are already married, so this is the wedding of the year—maybe even of the decade.
Everybody wants a piece of the action. Everybody wants the first photograph or even a glimpse of the happy couple.
And that means guests will make the articles, too.
Who’s here today and tomorrow is an important piece of the media puzzle, but the guest list is extremely limited to only close family and friends.
Jack and Kate have been careful about keeping plans a secret, and as far as I know, anybody outside our inner circle don’t even know where or when the wedding is taking place tomorrow.
Kate’s matron of honor is Ellie, of course, and she chose me as a bridesmaid.
On the other side of the aisle, Luke will be standing up as Jack’s best man, and Ben will be escorting me down the aisle—things that were decided long before Ben and I signed a contract… things that sort of feel like fate now.
The rehearsal is taking place at Jack and Kate’s house so as not to reveal the actual location of the wedding, and it’s not so much a rehearsal as a reason to get the weekend-long party started.
As Ben and I leave for Jack’s place, the car always parked across the street perks up into action when the photographer sees us exiting the house even though we got into my BMW, which we’re using while we’re back in town, in the garage to try to stem some of the attention.
The same thing happens when we arrive at Jack’s house.
We pull into the gated driveway, but there are photographers across the street snapping away with their telephoto lenses to sell to the highest bidder—and with the current scandal involving Ben, they’ll make a nice payday for themselves when they sell the one where Ben and I glance at each other as I slide my hand into his.
We are united. I believe him. I trust him. I love him.
And that truth is the message we’re sending to the world.
Once we’re inside Jack’s place, we head our separate ways for a while to keep up the ruse that it’s all for the media, but as we begin the celebration of Jack and Kate’s love, I’m starting to get that itchy feeling to just tell them the truth. They’ll be happy for us, right?
Probably.
I won’t tell them this weekend, obviously. This isn’t about the two of us—it’s Jack and Kate’s time to shine. But maybe once we’re all up in Montana…
“Hey girl,” Ellie says as she sneaks up behind me with a hug. “You look gorgeous as always.”
“You’re even more gorgeous than usual, babe,” I say as I hug her back, and she giggles.
“Oh stop it,” she chides, and we both laugh. She opens her mouth to say something else, but my mom moves in for the next hug.
I glance across the room and spot Ben. His eyes find mine at the same moment, and a sense of warmth fills my entire core at the look he gives me.
When this arrangement between the two of us first started, I was in a place where I didn’t think I wanted something serious.
I wanted some fun. I wanted a friend with benefits.
I’d felt burned after a string of bad dates followed my break-up with Dane, and I certainly wasn’t looking for what I ended up finding.
But that glance across a crowded room and the feeling of warmth in my chest…that’s it. That’s the thing everybody’s searching for in a partner.
And I found it when I wasn’t even looking.
At that moment, Nolan comes tearing through the room.
He’s holding something in his hands as he runs at the speed only someone who just learned how to walk can run.
He’s full of mischief and laughter at this elegant party, and Ellie moves to chase after him in her heels.
She easily catches up to him and scoops him up into her arms, and he’s full of giggles as his mommy squeezes him to her chest and peppers his face with kisses.
He gives up the goods that he had in his hand—a spoon, apparently—and Ellie looks down at him with all the love of a mother.
A twinge of sadness pulses through my chest.
I’ll never have that. I’ve always wanted it…but it’ll never be for me.
I’m giving that up for Ben.
His hearty laughter across the room pulls my gaze from the beautiful image of a mother with her child over to him.
I love his laugh. I love how he can categorize whatever’s happening with scandals and lies and bullshit and he can set it aside so he can celebrate his friends tonight.
I love the broken parts of him because they made him into the man he is today.
I love his joy of life…I love everything about him.
But even though I said the words to him about what I’m willing to give up for him—for us…
I’m not so sure of their truth. I don’t want to grow to resent him at some point because of what I’m giving up when he gets to have things his way, and even that thought makes me feel a little disgusted with myself.
This isn’t about someone winning or losing or who gets their way and who doesn’t.
This is life, and it’s a big decision. It’s an awful lot to give up for the chance to have something else.
Ben catches my eye again from across the room, and he smiles warmly at me, which only serves to confuse me even more. I so badly want for what we have to be enough.
And I don’t know how I’ll ever know whether it is without a crystal ball showing me what the future looks like.