CHAPTER 18 BEN
My eyes are trained on Kaylee the entire walk from the door of the bar to the arch where my mother will marry Jerry.
After Kaylee ran off to the bathroom, my mother kicked Tatum out and asked me to stand beside her today.
She has no one. I’m her son.
I couldn’t exactly say no even though every instinct inside me told me to make sure Kaylee was okay.
The time was too short. We had to go line up.
So here I am, the maid of honor or whatever at a wedding I don’t even think should be happening.
But in the interest of trying to support my mother, who keeps yammering on about how she hasn’t been this happy since she was married to my dad—words I heard at her last wedding, by the way—I’m standing here anyway.
Kaylee looks better—she got real pale there for a second before she took off, and she’s got some color back in her cheeks.
Her eyes are wide as she nods toward my mother and then toward Jerry, but I can’t quite read the signals she’s giving me.
Probably wondering what the hell I’m doing walking my mother down the aisle toward the arch rather than going back to my seat.
I lift a shoulder and offer her a wry smile, and then we’re under the arch and Dawn, the bar manager, is presiding over this odd wedding ceremony.
It’s quick and to the point, and they’re officially married a few minutes after it started. We snap a few pictures before the party begins, and I suppose if I had to pinpoint where, exactly, I learned how to party, I could trace it back to my mother.
I head over toward Kaylee once the bride and groom kiss to make it official, and some of the bar workers start moving chairs and tables back into place while a friend takes more pictures featuring just the bride and groom. The music turns back up and the dance floor is ready for action.
“I need to talk to you,” Kaylee says, her tone nearly desperate once I make my way over.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
She nods, and then she grabs onto the lapels of my suit jacket and leans up to whisper in my ear. “I overheard Jerry talking to his son just before the ceremony. They didn’t see me, but I can confirm based on what they were saying that he’s trying to get to you.”
A stab of something pierces my ribs, and the bruised one seems to pulse in anger for a beat. “Fuck,” I mutter. “What did they say?”
She glances around then nods toward the front door. “Let’s go somewhere private to talk.”
I usher her back out toward my car—the only place we can talk and really not be overheard.
Once she slams the car door shut, she says, “Jerry said to his son how you can pay for his college and coaches and trainers and even if he doesn’t get into a good college, they still have access to your money. He also said he’s been trying to push your mom to get closer to you.”
I run a hand along my jaw and then I slam my palm on my steering wheel.
There’s nothing I hate more than assholes who use the people I love to get to me…
and maybe that’s a huge part of why I’ve fallen so goddamn hard for Kaylee.
She’s one of the people who has been used all her life to get to her brothers.
She understands this life, and she’s strong.
She’s tough. She knows when to take action, and she knows how to cut out the people who don’t belong in the equation because she’s had to do it so many times.
I think I could learn a thing or two from her.
“They won’t see a goddamn dime from me,” I hiss.
“I know they won’t. But the way Jerry laughed…your mom has no idea. He’s got a bad side and he hides it under the act of some quiet bumpkin.”
I chuckle at her word despite the grave situation I suddenly find myself in.
Finding humor in darkness must be my defense mechanism.
On the one hand…fuck him and his son. But on the other hand—well, it’s not fair to the kid that his dad is an asshole who will stop at nothing to get his son what he wants in life.
Would I have done the same for the kid that was never mine?
I still think about things like that.
I’ll never know, but from what Jack tells me, that whole parenting thing can get pretty damn ferocious.
“I don’t know what to do,” I admit. “I can’t do this to her on her wedding day…”
“And yet—you have to.”
I lean my head back against the headrest and close my eyes. “Yeah. I know I do.”
“If you want, I can do it for you. I’m the one who overheard it, anyway.”
I lean my head to the side and open my eyes, and it’s like a damn halo sits on top of this angel’s head. “I love you,” I blurt.
She looks momentarily taken aback at my words. I don’t say them as often as I should, I suppose. Her lips lift into a soft smile. “I love you, too.”
“I need to do it,” I say. “I just don’t want to.”
“I don’t blame you. But I’ll stand by your side. We’ll do this together.”
I nod. “Thank you,” I murmur, and then we get out of the car and head back into the bar to let my mother know the man she just married is a big fat user.
They’re dancing when we walk in—just the two of them in the middle of the dance floor as Shania Twain sings “From This Moment On.” I wait until the song is over, and then “I Hope You Dance” starts up and my mom twirls her way over toward me.
“May I have this dance?” she asks.
I glance at Kaylee, who gives me a fortifying little nod, and I head onto the dance floor with my mom.
“Having fun?” she asks, a twinkle in her eye like she’s hinting at a little something.
My brows dip. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Everybody saw you and Kaylee walk out and head to your car. Like we don’t know what went on in there.
” She wiggles her eyebrows, and she’s already a little drunk.
Maybe high, too. She wouldn’t be hinting at me having sex with Kaylee just now if she wasn’t—not after Kaylee’s words before the ceremony started.
She seems relaxed now in a way she wasn’t forty-five minutes ago.
“We didn’t go out to my car for sex,” I say, and I should feel awkward telling my mother that, but I don’t.
“Why’d you go out, then?” she presses.
It’s going to hurt now or it’s going to hurt later. I figure I better just get on with it. “She wanted to tell me how she overheard your new husband talking to his son about how marrying you would give them access to my money.”
She pulls back to look me in the face. “Excuse me?”
“I’m so sorry to be the one to tell you this, Mom,” I say softly.
She sighs, but she doesn’t really react aside from that.
We dance quietly—a little awkwardly, if I’m being honest—and then, as the song draws to a close, she says, “You didn’t have to tell me, and I think it’s best I pretend you didn’t.
I’m going to enjoy the rest of my day, because you only get married onc—er, you only get married a few times in life, I suppose.
You and that girl you dragged in here can leave whenever you’d like.
You’ve both done enough to ruin this day. ”
I assume she means first outing her best friend and then outing her new husband, and I try to step back a minute and look at this from her perspective.
Maybe she’s right.
I glance down at her. “I’m sorry, Mom.”
She looks up at the ceiling as she tries to ward off her tears.
“You’ll go back to Vegas and leave me in the dust and when all that settles, what’ll be left?
” She shrugs and shakes her head, and I’m even more sure now as I look at her that the glassiness in her eyes isn’t from emotions.
She’s had to steel herself against emotions over the years, and I’m starting to wonder if I got that trait from her, too.
“I can’t live on memories alone. Thanks for coming to my day. You can see yourself out.”
I kiss her cheek in apology before the song ends. I’m sure to everyone else, it looks like an emotional dance between mother and son. The two of us are the only two people who know the truth of what we just said to each other.
I head back toward Kaylee, who’s standing alone by the bar. “You ready?” I ask.
Her brows dip, but then she nods and we head back to the hotel much earlier than I was expecting.