CHAPTER 25 KAYLEE
“This is really what you want?” my mom asks.
I nod as tears prick behind my eyes. “It is,” I say with my whole heart.
I stare in the mirror at the woman looking back at me. I hardly recognize her. The perfect white dress. The dress. The gorgeous hair and make-up. But it’s the feelings on the inside radiating out of me that cause the glow surrounding me.
I’m so damn in love with Ben.
I’m a little nervous, if I’m being honest. This is as real as it gets, and I’ve had a nagging feeling all morning that something is going to go wrong.
It’s all been going too well—barring last weekend and his mom’s wedding, of course. Barring the barrage of texts and calls from Tatum that Ben has been ignoring.
The Daltons are on board with this union, and instead of the pressures I was expecting from them, they’ve been nothing but supportive since we told them the truth.
If anything, they’ve invented ways for Ben and me to find some time alone.
They’ve gone for longer walks together or hung out in their bedrooms instead of the family room.
They’ve been nothing short of wonderful.
“Your dad would have been so proud of you,” she says, her hand moving toward her chest as she tries to hold back her own emotions.
“You think so?” I ask, mostly because I feel like I’m letting him down at every turn. First I quit teaching, now I’m marrying a party animal I’m not sure he would’ve approved of.
“Oh, he thought Ben was a hoot. He saw the good guy under the mask he wears just like you did. And you’re going after your dreams, honey. That’s all he ever wanted for you. He just wanted all you kids doing what you love and enjoying life.”
“I think he would’ve wanted that for you, too,” I say.
She presses her lips together and nods. “I do, too. And that’s what makes me feel okay about, well…everything.”
“I’m happy for you,” I say, trying to hint that she has my approval, too—not that she needs it.
She pinches my cheek the way she’s done since I was a little girl. “Back at you, Kay Kay.”
“You ready?”
“I feel like I should be asking you that,” she says with a short laugh.
Ellie and Kate, my co-maids of honor, are poised to make their way down the aisle that Molly set up in Ben’s backyard.
I saw it earlier this morning, and it’s gorgeous.
White flowers line an aisle leading to an arch made of flowers.
Ben asked Jeb to preside today, and I know I’ll cry at whatever his words are since he’s a man of few of them.
I’m still up in my bedroom where I’ve spent the morning getting ready with a team of stylists and artists, and I wish I could see the people down in the yard from where I stand.
My bedroom looks out on the other side of the house, but I know my eyes would zero in on Ben with Jack beside him and Luke on Jack’s other side.
I can picture Ben looking nervous even from this distance, but it’s okay.
Once I get down there, we’ll look into each other’s eyes, and we’ll each take a calming breath the way we do.
We’ll both feel the nerves fly away as we make this commitment to each other in front of the most important people in our lives.
“I’m ready,” I whisper.
She smiles at me and gives me a big hug, squeezing me tightly for a beat. And then my mom escorts me down the stairs so she can walk with me down the aisle toward my future husband.
Just before we get to the bottom of the stairs, Jack walks in the patio doors.
The look in his eyes stops me cold. Something is wrong, and I immediately know what it is.
He’s not out there.
He ran.
He got scared, and he fucking ran.
He couldn’t hold on long enough to prove that he believed in me. That he believed in us.
He couldn’t show up for me today. He couldn’t show up for himself today.
Fear turns to something else. Something icy and angry and scary.
“You look gorgeous, Kay.” The words that leave Jack’s mouth only confirm those feelings as my stomach turns over with fury. “I’m so sorry.” His voice breaks a little, and it’s the rare show of emotion from my always poised brother that sets me over the edge.
“Why?” I ask, tears already falling down my cheeks because I know why deep down. Of course I know why. This was never meant to happen.
We gave it a shot.
My chest feels heavy as I wait for Jack’s next words.
“He, uh…”
I falter a little at his stuttering. Jack never stutters. He’s composed. Poised. Confident.
Always.
Except right now, when he’s delivering the hard news his baby sister doesn’t want to hear.
“I, um…I don’t know where he is. He isn’t here, and he’s not answering his phone.”
TO BE CONCLUDED IN BOOK 5, TIGHT END