CHAPTER 14 BEN
Over the next few days, every time I head to the gym to check in with Craig, he's busy with a client. I've tried to get in touch with him outside of office hours, but I headed back to my place to leave Gramma alone for a few days and haven't had a chance to check in with him.
And to add on top of the shit sundae my life has become, my last box of S’mores cereal has no marshmallows left.
Camp starts in a little over a week, and I need to get back to Vegas. I’m ready to get back home, and I’m either leaving tonight or early tomorrow. Craig can’t avoid me any longer.
And speaking of feeling like he is avoiding me, I am sensing some huge red flags. I guess Tatum's betrayal didn't just make me distrustful of women.
I finally make my confession to Gramma when I stop by her place for a late brunch.
“What’s been eating at you, sugar?” she asks me as she sets a plate of her world-famous homemade waffles in front of me.
“Tatum,” I admit.
Her eyes flash with anger. “You want me to have a chat with her, woman to woman?”
I shake my head. “It won’t help. She’s gone off the deep end. She blames Kaylee for ruining her friendship with my mother, and now she thinks she’s ended up all alone. She thinks Kaylee took me from her, too, and so she’s basically doing whatever she can to keep me apart from the woman I love.”
She reaches over and grabs my hand. “You’re letting her.”
I stare down at my waffle. “I know. But I don’t know what else to do. She’s got something that could absolutely murder my credibility, and I can’t stop thinking about how Kaylee is just plain better off without me.”
“You’re wrong about that.” She points at me and glares, and I love her for giving it to me straight. “You’re a damn fool if you believe that.”
“There’s always going to be somebody around the corner threatening to ruin us,” I say.
“So? You hold hands and fight together.”
“Okay, so we do that, and she wants kids and I don’t. How do we handle that hurdle?”
She sighs. “Why don’t you want kids?”
I’m silent a long time.
“Is it because of what Tatum did to you a decade ago?” she asks.
I glance up at her, and when our eyes connect, I know she knows the whole truth. I’m not sure how, but she does.
I nod slowly. “That, my parents fighting all the time, feeling all alone…it’s a lot of things, but mostly losing that baby I thought was mine.”
She reaches over and squeezes my hand. “Women don’t talk about these things very often, and I’m not sure why. But before I had Chevy and your dad, I had a miscarriage. If I was too scared to have another baby, you wouldn’t be sitting in front of me today.”
I contemplate those words for a beat.
“Honey, you can’t let the fear of what could happen allow you to make nothing happen.” Her voice is soft as she repeats the words my dad said to me at different key moments in my life.
She said it to him.
He said it to me.
I could be saying it to my own son someday.
And I’m allowing those fears of the unknown, of the loss or of the betrayal or whatever, to force me into this zone where I’m making nothing happen. I’m doing exactly what my dad told me not to do.
She’s silent as we eat our brunch, and I roll over her words in my mind. Eventually, she glances up at me. “So what are you going to do about Tatum?”
“I don’t know. She made a comment I can’t stop thinking about, and I think it holds some weight but I can’t seem to piece it together.”
“You tell me what it is and I’ll solve the mystery,” she says, patting my hand from across the table.
My brows knit together as I recall her words. “She said she was going to pay off a woman to tell lies about me, and I bluffed and said she didn’t have any money. She said she did, and it’s ironic that I don’t know she’s tight with a good friend who’s been helping her.”
She tilts her head as she squints at me, deep in thought about what I just told her. “Hm, it’s ironic, huh? Who could she be working with that would make it ironic?”
“I have no idea. Somebody I know? But I hardly talk to anybody from this town anymore. You, Uncle Chevy, my mom, Craig. None of those people would choose her over me.”
“You’re right about me and Chev, but your mom? They’re pretty close, aren’t they? What was the word she used…tight? Are they tight?”
I slide the last bite of waffle around the syrup on my plate. “My mom hasn’t spoken to her since the wedding. She might’ve chosen Tatum over me before, but now that she knows the truth, I don’t think she’ll do that again.”
“Then let’s focus on the other word. Tight. Tight spot? Tight hold? Tight—”
“Fit,” I murmur. “Craig.” All the blood drains from my face. “But he doesn’t have that much money, either. I know his salary, and unless he’s doing something on the side…”
“Can I ask you a question that might be sort of painful to answer?” she asks.
“Can’t cut any worse than everything else I’m dealing with,” I mumble.
“Who was the father of that baby Tatum lost?” she asks.
All the blood drains from my face as the truth finally hits me. “Holy shit,” I curse.
“I never trusted that boy, but you two were so close that I didn’t want to say anything.”
“He’s in charge of everything at Tight Fit, Gramma.” Fuck. How did I not see this before?
“Then he could be pilfering money on the side from you, too, sugar,” she points out.
I stand and carry my plate over to the sink. “I need to go.”
She nods. “Just be careful.”
I kiss her on the cheek. “Love you.”
“Love you, too, Benny Boy.” She squeezes my hand, and then I race out the door to confront my longtime friend.