CHAPTER 24 KAYLEE
Coop just said good night and headed to his room to take a shower before bed. For as exhausted as I've been feeling constantly, I can't seem to sleep, which only adds to the exhaustion.
I head out to the balcony as has become my nightly habit.
A long counter lines the balcony, and stools sit beneath it.
I hop onto a stool and perch my feet up on the counter as I overlook the view from here.
It’s dark, but buildings light the path and the ocean is just a few miles away—something I can see off in the distance if I stand at the edge of the balcony and look down the street since our building is on a corner.
It's quiet, and somehow sitting up here with mere miles between me and the ocean gives me a calming sense of peace I can’t seem to find anywhere else.
If I had to leave my family behind to start a job in a new place, this really isn't such a bad option.
I'm enjoying some cucumber water when my phone starts ringing.
I glance at the screen. It's Ellie.
I've managed to largely avoid my family since I moved out here, sending texts when I ignore calls to let them know I'm busy with work and will get back to them later.
I never do but I'm also at a point where I am not ready to tell them about the twins and avoiding them altogether seems like the easier option.
But something prompts me to answer this call from Ellie. I don't know if it's the sudden feeling like I miss home or just wanting to hear that familiar voice, but I take the call.
“Hey,” I answer. “What's going on?”
“What's going on? What's going on? Are you kidding me?” She’s full of accusatory dramatics, and I have no idea what she’s talking about.
I groan. “What now?”
“Cooper Noah? Cooper freaking Noah?”
Oh. I guess those pictures hit the gossip sites.
Cooper and I are just working together. He's a great guy but I'm not in any position to get involved with him right now. That's what I should say. Those are the words that should exit my mouth.
But I also know Ellie has a direct line to my ex. Maybe I want him to get a little jealous. I’m not going to lie to Ellie. But if I happen to lead her in a certain direction by her own conclusions, well…that’s on her.
“What about Cooper Noah?” I ask.
“Weren’t you crying over Ben like five minutes ago?”
Yes. I was literally crying over Ben five minutes ago. Another tidbit I don't share with her.
“Yeah,” I say a little flippantly. “But he doesn’t want me. What am I supposed to do? Stay single forever?”
“Honey, you’ve barely been there a week,” she says. “How did this happen so fast?”
“He’s my co-programming director and my roommate.” And nothing more. “We spend nearly every waking moment together either working or grabbing meals or taking a walk around our apartment complex. He just went through a rough break-up, so we have a lot of common ground.”
“Are you happy? Or is this just a rebound?”
It’s neither of those. “I’m doing fine, Ellie.
” I said I wasn’t going to lie to her, and I just did—but sometimes we lie to make those around us feel better about our lot in life.
She’s happy. She’s pregnant, she’s got a little boy and a great husband, a blossoming career with her own business…
she has it all, and I want her to be happy, not to call me feeling sorry for me.
I’m dying to ask her what Ben has been up to, but I hold myself back.
He’s at training camp, anyway—or at least he should be by now.
“What’s he like?” she asks.
“Cooper?” I ask.
“Yeah. Is he nice?”
“Oh, he’s the sweetest. He’s warm and friendly and funny. He’s really smart, and he wants the same sort of future I do. And he’s hot as hell.”
“Good, Kay. Just be careful. You just got out of something huge, and I don’t want you to get hurt all over again on a rebound,” she says.
“Thanks for looking out for me.” I feel the heat pinching behind my eyes as I think about that huge thing I just got out of. Of being left at the altar, so to speak. Of losing Ben, the most important person in my life.
He’d be at camp now anyway, and what would I be doing? Posting to Instagram. Working with Craig on the kids’ program for the gym. Working with Ellie as her assistant as we griped together about our men being away.
I wish that’s where I was.
I like San Diego. I like Cooper. I like my new job.
But I loved where my life was going with Ben. Being close to my family, working with Ellie, even the Instagram fame and planning things for the future with Ben that we’d take on together.
I miss it.
“I better go,” I say before the wave of emotion gets too real. “Early morning tomorrow. But let’s catch up soon, okay?”
“Oh, okay. Love you, Kay. I have a few questions about some notes you left for Deon Miller’s social media. Can I email them to you?”
“Yeah, that’d be great.” I focus on keeping my voice even. I fail. My words come out barely above a whisper. “Talk soon. Bye.”
I hang up before she can fire more questions at me, and I let out a little sob as soon as I end the call.
I feel a warm arm wrap around my shoulders as Cooper kneels beside me, comforting me as if from out of nowhere.
“You okay?” he asks.
I try to swipe away the tears. “No.” I close my eyes and heave out a breath. “My sister-in-law called and I guess it just made me emotional.”
“The one who runs publicity for Ben?” he asks. “Or the one that’s married to Ben’s best friend?”
“The publicist.”
He squeezes me a little before he lets me go. He stands and looks over the railing, and that’s when I notice he isn’t wearing a shirt.
He’s just wearing mesh shorts, and I stare up at his back. It’s all chiseled and trim as it tapers down to his hips hidden behind those shorts.
“I thought you went to bed,” I say, embarrassed to be crying yet again in front of Coop.
“I did, but I went to grab a water and heard you out here.”
“I’m sorry I disturbed you,” I mutter.
“You didn’t,” he says, turning toward me and leaning back on the counter.
It’s distracting when he just stands there in his mesh shorts.
His body is perfect. He may not play baseball anymore, and he eats a lot of pizza with me, but he still keeps up his physique.
That’s for damn sure. “You think I’m hot? ”
My eyes widen and a dart of nervousness pings my ribs. “You heard that? I, uh, was just, you know—”
He laughs as he holds up a hand. “I’m just teasing you. I know you’re not in that place right now, and I’m not really sure I am, either.”
Relief fills my chest. “Thanks for understanding.”
“I was thinking, though—there are reasons to make others believe there’s more to it than there is. For both of us, if you know what I mean,” he says. He folds his arms over his chest, but I can still see every carved cut of his abdomen.
I clear my throat and sniffle. “More to it?” I repeat. “Like…a fake relationship?”
He shrugs. “Call it what you want. We’re not faking anything when those photographers have been catching images of us. Maybe we just…I don’t know, get more friendly. Take more walks. Enjoy all San Diego has to offer together.”
“Won’t Carla have something to say about that?” I ask.
“Maybe she will, maybe she won’t. But what we do in our personal lives isn’t any of her business, and I’m not suggesting we have sex in front of the photographers. We simply keep living our lives, but maybe we get out of this apartment once in a while. Together.”
I’m glad it’s dark out here because I definitely feel the heat creep into my cheeks when he says the word sex.
I’m a grown woman—a pregnant grown woman, so it’s not like I don’t know how this works, but something about hearing that word come from his mouth when he’s talking about the two of us just makes me blush.
“I’m not sure parading around a fake relationship is the best idea given the fact that we’ll be working with kids,” I point out.
“Kids this age would be oblivious,” he counters. “You worked with middle school kids who think they know everything. Elementary-aged kids are different. I have nephews who are eight and ten, and they have no concept of what I do in my personal life, nor do they care.”
He’s making valid points, and it’s not like he’s asking me to do much more than what we’re already doing anyway. We’re not faking anything. We’re just letting people draw their own conclusions.
I’m just sick of the media attention in general.
“Let me think about it.”
“Okay,” he nods. “No pressure.” He straightens from the position where he’s leaning.
“I’m going to bed now. For real. You should too.
” He steps toward me and rests a hand on my shoulder on his way by.
He gives it a little squeeze before he lets go and heads inside.
“And for the record, I think you’re hot as hell, too. ”
He opens the slider door and walks back inside, leaving behind an embarrassed, blushing mess on the balcony.