Chapter 43
“ H i, Lucy.” I kissed her forehead, overwhelmed by how small she was and how much I already loved this baby. How was it possible to feel so much so quickly? I kept saying her name, marveling that Ava had chosen to name her after me when I didn’t feel remotely worthy of that honor.
Our sweet girl was fast asleep in my arms, her baby-blue eyes closed, her blonde hair so fine and pale you could almost mistake her for being bald at first glance. I remembered seeing photos of Nathan and Ava when they were babies looking exactly the same. I’d heard that babies tended to look like their fathers early on, but all I saw in Lucy’s face was Ava: the same nose, same lips, same adorable round cheeks.
Ava was bundled in the nursery nest, fully asleep surrounded by the rest of the pack, but I couldn’t bring myself to put Lucy down just yet. It was entirely possible our daughter wouldn’t even know what her crib felt like because between the five of us she would always be in someone’s arms.
All the years lost between Ava and me melted away. I didn’t care that Andrew had contributed his genetics; Lucy was mine, my pack’s.
I wandered the dimly lit hallways to keep Lucy in gentle motion, soaking in the silence of a home I still couldn’t quite believe was mine. All the conflicts, and my insecurities that had fueled them, seemed meaningless now that Lucy was here.
I wished I knew some lullabies, some songs that actually meant something, so I could hum for her and pass along those memories, but she’d have to settle for my voice. I told her stories about her mom: four-year-old Ava kicking me in the shins for hitting her with a mud pie when I’d aimed for Nathan, eight-year-old Ava almost falling off the roof trying to follow us being dumbasses, thirteen-year-old Ava dancing her heart out at a sock hop we took her to at the community center.
I walked and talked until Lucy started to fuss, and ventured back into the nest, waking Bryce to move so Ava could nurse. I filled up one of her water bottles at the wet bar we had installed in the nursery and grabbed her some granola bites to snack on.
My beautiful omega opened sleepy eyes and collected Lucy from me, putting the baby to her breast. I snuggled in next to her, Bryce lying down on my other side. Ava leaned into my arms, resting against my chest with a tired sigh.
“I can feed her for you,” I offered.
“I’m okay,” she insisted. “Got to keep my supply up.”
I kissed her hair, breathing in the freshly washed scent of her. Her sweet praline smelled as if someone had dumped in twice the amount of cream needed, making it rich and luxurious. Lucy smelled just like her mother, though that was to be expected since babies always did. Her own scent wouldn’t develop for years.
“I love you an impossible amount,” I said softly.
Ava’s smile was warm as she offered up her mouth for a gentle kiss. “I love you .”
“She’s hungry,” I commented, glancing down at Lucy drinking voraciously.
“Hard work being born,” came Ava’s quiet reply. “Gotta get all those calories for growing.”
I angled the water bottle so Ava could sip from the straw and fed her a few of the high-protein granola bites Micah’s mother had dropped off.
“I don’t suppose we have anything more substantial?” Ava asked.
“Craving anything in particular? Micah and Jesse’s families stocked up our freezer with meals while you were in the hospital.”
“Any lasagna?”
“Pretty sure there is. I’ll go get you some.”
I woke Bryce up while climbing over him, and he moved to take my spot and hold Ava’s water while she fed Lucy. It only took a few minutes to locate lasagna, conveniently already cooked and portioned into individual servings. It wouldn’t be as good as fresh, but certainly better than nothing. While I waited for the microwave, I poured her a glass of milk and collected the necessary cutlery before carrying everything upstairs for her.
It was cute as hell to watch Ava open her mouth like a baby bird so I could feed her each bite of lasagna, my hand cradled beneath the fork to make sure none of it dropped on the baby. Bryce manned both of the drinks, and by the time Lucy was done eating, our omega was satisfied.
“Did you want to sleep?” Bryce asked. “I can watch Lucy.”
“And give up this premium daddy-daughter time with no one to bug us? Absolutely not. You get sleep while you can.”
Bryce helped Ava up to brush her teeth and I sat in the rocking chair with the baby, patting her until she burped and tidying her up afterward.
“You know, little miss,” I whispered when everyone had fallen back asleep, “I can’t make a lot of promises about the future, but I’m going to make two to you. The first is that you’re going to have more love than you know what to do with. And the second is that I’m going to do everything in my power to be the best dad possible for you. I didn’t have a dad growing up, and you’re going to have four who love you to pieces. I know I’ll make mistakes, but I’m going to try my best. I already love you so much, and I’ve loved your mom for as long as I can remember. You deserve the whole world, just like your mama.”
“Marry me.”
The words struck me like lightning and I looked up to see Ava standing in front of me in her nightgown. How had she gotten out of bed without me noticing? “Did I just hallucinate you asking me to marry you?”
She snuggled onto my lap. “Maybe a bit more telling than asking, but the sentiment is there. I just love you so much and I got overwhelmed by it watching you with Lucy. I want to marry you. Do you want to marry me?”
“Of course I do. I was going to ask when you were more settled.”
Ava gave me a self-satisfied smile and drew me into a kiss. “I think we both know I’m not patient enough to wait for that.”
“So I should get a move on, then?” At her nod, I continued. “Ava, I’ve loved you all my life, and I plan to never stop. I want to be your partner, your husband, and your bondmate when you’re ready. Marry me, Aves?”
“Abso-fucking-lutely yes.” She kissed me soundly and cuddled up, letting me sit in the quiet with my two favorite girls in the world.
“I’m going to be insufferable about touching you now that you’re my fiancée.”
“Oh no, however shall I cope?”
“If you ever figure it out and get used to it, we’re obviously not doing our jobs correctly.”
“So I’m just supposed to live every single day filled to the brim with happiness?”
“Uh, obviously.” I squeezed her tightly and breathed deeply against her hair. “That’s how I’ve lived every day since getting you back, so it’s only fair you do the same.”
Our little family had been built brick by brick, everyone coming together from different directions and walks of life, but still finding one another despite the distance and struggles. It wasn’t perfect, but it was good…so fucking good. We all had learning and growing to do, myself more than most, but I was ready to put in the work.
Whatever curveballs life was going to throw us, we would get through it together.
“Isn’t it too early for tummy time?” Ava asked when she came across Lucy and me lying on the living room floor while Charlotte’s boys watched some show about a cartoon dog.
“The Internet said they can start it a couple days after birth,” I replied, booping Lucy’s nose when she turned to look at me. “Just for a few minutes at a time.”
“I already took photos for you,” said Charlotte. She was perched in one of the chairs with a cup of tea, keeping an eye on her boys. I thought it would be weird as hell having Andrew’s wife in our house, but I was glad we had given her a soft place to land. She kept a handle on her children, but the boys were pretty jazzed to have the pack around even if we spent most of our time focusing on Ava. Poor kids were probably starved for fatherly affection, and with Andrew being arrested, that wasn’t an issue that was going to be fixed anytime soon.
Ava sat on the couch near Charlotte, the sounds of the rest of the pack preparing breakfast for everyone audible from where I lay on the floor.
“Okay, little lady, I think we’ve worked out those muscles enough for now.” I sat up, scooping Lucy into my arms so I could kiss her plump cheeks. She was a pretty easy baby, which in all likelihood meant she was going to be an absolutely feral toddler. That was okay. Between the five of us, we’d be able to manage.
“Is she ready for a snack?” Ava asked.
“I think she’s still good for a bit. She can have hers as soon as you finish breakfast.”
The others carted food out to the living room since more than half of the household was already there and I let Lucy lie on her back beneath one of the arched baby toys with dangling bits for her to look at while I inhaled a frankly unhealthy amount of chocolate chip pancakes and bacon.
“Can I kiss the baby?” Ollie asked.
“After you wash the syrup off your face,” Ava replied.
He dashed off into the kitchen and Charlotte followed, helping him clean up. The boys were still asking questions about how long they were going to stay here, when they were going back home, and how they were going to see the baby when they did. We didn’t have a lot of answers to go around.
Charlotte didn’t want to move back to the luxury apartment she had shared with Andrew, but throughout most of their marriage he had systematically isolated her from her community and her parents had already passed away a few years ago. It was a shit situation that we were her best option for community. We assured her on the daily that she was welcome to stay as long as she needed, but those assurances only did so much.
Ollie pressed his lips to Lucy’s cheek and lay down on his stomach to watch her. “When does she start doing things?”
“You gotta give her time to work on those muscles,” I said with a smile. “She’ll get stronger every day now that she has room to move.”
Lucy fussed as Ava finished off her plate, and I lifted her back off the floor, the newborn scrunch melting my heart.
“You boys want to go swimming?” I asked, giving them the opportunity to vacate the space while Ava fed our daughter.
The boys were on their feet and racing to the guest room to change before I could blink.
“I’ll come out with you,” said Charlotte.
I didn’t mind watching the boys. It reminded me a lot of growing up, having that much energy around the house. I hoped in a few years’ time it would be Lucy and another little sibling running around.
Ava collected Lucy from me to feed her and I raced out after the boys as they flung themselves into the water. I hadn’t been a lifeguard since high school, but I could at least keep an eye on them.
“I’ll come out when she’s done,” said Ava. “I could use some sunlight.”
By the time she joined us, I was soaked from being splashed, but Ava snuggled right up against me anyway.
“There’s my girls.” I spun, keeping her dry from the next splash and she grinned up at me, a few droplets of water caught in her hair that glinted in the sun.
“How are you this beautiful?”
Ava blushed. “How are you this beautiful?”
“Did you know, in all of the chaos I haven’t had a chance to tell you how lucky I am that you came into our lives?”
“All that chaos came in because of me,” she said with a quiet laugh.
“It’s what we all needed. You made our pack complete, and I want to make sure you know that I love you to the moon and back.” I kissed her softly. “My omega. I love you, angel. I love all of it: every bit of chaos you bring, every bit of softness you offer, your spirit, your laugh. You are the perfect omega for me.”
“I love you, too.” She buried her face against my chest. “But you can’t say so many nice things about me at once. My heart can’t take it.”
“We’ve had that conversation before. Do I need to actually start complimenting you so often you get accustomed to it? ‘Cause I’ll get started right now.” I hooked my fingers under her chin, forcing her to look up at me. “You are the sweetest soul, a wonderful partner and mother, and I will never get tired of the taste of your lips.”
Her cheeks were gorgeously pink. “I’m pretty sure I’m the lucky one in this pack, no matter what you all keep saying. How many omegas have alphas that say things like that?”
“Only the ones who are clearly goddesses descended to earth.” I grinned at her.
“ Micah . My cheeks can’t get any hotter.” Ava laughed and nuzzled closer, letting me wrap her and Lucy securely in my arms, just standing together in the shade. “Our lives are weird.”
“A good weird, though?”
Ava nodded, looking over at the rest of the pack scattered around the pool in the sunlight, Charlotte perched on the edge of the water at the far end out of earshot of our whispers, her boys flinging themselves about on the floaties. “Yeah, it’s good. Nothing like I ever expected, but I’m starting to feel a peace I never thought I’d find again.”
“You deserve some peace after everything.”
Her sigh was long and deep. “Peace is good, but I don’t think I’m ever going to get mad about a little chaos again, not after knowing how many wonderful things can still come even if it looks terrifying at the time.”
“The important part,” I said, chest filled to bursting with affection for her, “is that no matter what comes, we’ll always be there to catch you if you fall.”