CHAPTER 26 ALEXIS
I clear the text message and slide my phone back into my pocket. I’ll respond later when I’m not sitting beside my fiancé and across from my father and the wedding planner.
Rafe is showing us all the things that have been chosen for our wedding, and it feels…surreal.
I don’t want any of this. I didn’t ask for any of it, and these aren’t the things I would have chosen for my wedding.
Which sort of makes them perfect, really—so when I get married for real one day, I can pick all the things I ever wanted for my dream wedding.
That way, they’re not going to waste on this sham.
This is somebody’s dream wedding, but it isn’t mine.
“So we have the date and the venue. We’ll have a small outdoor ceremony first followed by the reception. Most of the details are in place, but I need some names. Let’s start with the best man, shall we?” Rafe looks over to Brooks.
Brooks looks up at my father, who’s sitting next to Rafe. “Mr. Bodega, I’d be honored if you’d be my best man.”
My father looks surprised. Shocked, even. But that melts away into approval. “I’d be honored.” He turns to Rafe. “Can I still walk her down the aisle in that role?”
“Of course,” Rafe says. “It’ll be a little non-traditional, but it’s your wedding.”
I don’t want my dad to walk me down the aisle. I want him to give me away when the wedding is real, but I can’t exactly say that to him in front of Rafe, who believes it is real.
“I’d like to walk myself down,” I say quietly.
Rafe looks at me and beams a little. “I love it. It’s so trendy, and it’ll be a springboard for women everywhere to talk about new traditions that represent women’s rights.” He turns to my father. “Thoughts?”
If my dad looked at Brooks with approval, he looks at me with disapproval. He opens his mouth to say something, but then he sighs. “Whatever Alexis wants.”
“Maid of honor?” he asks, turning to me.
“I don’t really have anyone in mind,” I admit candidly. “I mentioned Leila to my dad, but I think I’d rather just not have one.”
There’s nobody I’d want to stand up with me believing in the sham when it’s all a lie.
“Oh. My. God. Yes! No maid of honor. No escort down the aisle. Buck all the traditions, Alexis. Start your own trend. I love it.” He holds both hands to his chest dramatically, and the drama of it all might be comedic if there was literally anything here worth laughing about other than the sham itself.
My dad’s brows dip. “Won’t that look strange if I’m his best man and she has no maid of honor?”
“No. You’ll be the witness. Or, if you’d prefer, you could officiate.”
My dad’s eyes light up a little. He loves being the center of attention, and he so rarely gets to be since he’s usually the person creating opportunities for others to be in that role.
“What do you both think?” he asks Brooks and me.
“I agree wholeheartedly. I think that would be an even better role for you than best man,” Brooks says. He turns to me. “Alexis?”
I nod. “It’s fine.” It’s all fine. Everything’s fine.
But none of it really feels all that fine.
“Right. We have our people, then. Anyone else? Flower girl, ring bearer, ushers?” he asks.
I glance at Brooks then shake my head.
I wish Danny could be there. I realize that makes absolutely zero sense, but if he could be an usher, I could talk to him before the wedding. He could tell me I’m doing the right thing.
It doesn’t feel like the right thing.
And I know he’d never tell me it’s the right thing.
I look up at my dad and see how happy this is making him.
That’s the one thing I’m holding onto. He gets this merger. He can safely let go of the business and place it into Brooks’s hands. It’ll have the sort of future he wants it to have when he’s no longer around to run it. It can stay in the family this way.
Gregory steps into the kitchen to get some coffee, and I know he’s on my side. We haven’t talked about it at all, but I can’t help wondering what he thinks about all this.
He’s on the inside, and if ever there was somebody I’d want by my side on my wedding day, it’s him.
“Oh, what about Gregory as an usher?” I ask.
He freezes halfway across the kitchen.
“Gregory, would you be willing?” I press as I silently beg him with my eyes.
“Of course, ma’am.” He nods at me and presses his lips together. “It would be my honor.”
“Great, then,” Rafe says, clapping his hands.
He jots down something, and then he flips through his papers.
“We’ve booked your morning beauty routine the day of, Alexis.
You’ll stay the night before at the ranch, and the stylists will begin on you bright and early.
The evening before, we’ll have a rehearsal dinner for close family and friends.
The guest list numbers around three-fifty, and we’ll need to pare that down to around a hundred, which is the max capacity at San Ysidro Ranch.
We have photography, videography, and lighting booked.
The cake is ordered. Stationery is ordered.
In lieu of gifts, we’ve asked for donations to cancer research to honor your mother. ”
At least one good thing is coming from all this, I guess.
He continues down his checklist. “We have the bartender and liquor ready to go. Everything is chosen for the ceremony except rings, and we’ll still need the script for the ceremony, including which poems or readings you prefer.
But the décor, chairs, aisle runner, and transportation have all been handled.
For the reception, I’ll need your food and music preferences, but otherwise, I think we’re all set.
” He slides a sheet of paper across the table toward us to review then glances up at Brooks.
“And I’ll need the honeymoon details, too. ”
“All the details?” Brooks deadpans, and I’ve never known him to be much of a funny guy.
Maybe that’s one of the things I love so much about Danny. He can make me laugh with just a single look. I don’t know if I’ve ever genuinely laughed with Brooks.
“Location, location, location,” Rafe says. “And, of course, the when.”
“We’ve not officially booked anything as of yet given Alexis’s filming schedule,” Brooks says. “But I have some dates and locations in mind.”
“Care to share?” Rafe presses.
Brooks shakes his head. “I was planning to surprise my bride.”
Surprise? Or kidnap me to a place nobody will know about?
I keep that thought in my head.
“So romantic.” Rafe looks at my would-be-husband with hearts in his eyes, and this is all just a smidge over the top for me when all I want to do is fly upstairs and call Danny back.
I haven’t been able to. I’ve been locked in by my dad’s side since he was released from the hospital last night, and Brooks is never very far away.
I’ll escape at some point.
I need to see Danny. I need his arms around me. I need his lips on mine.
I need him to tell me everything is going to be okay.
Because the more time we spend apart, the more I fear it won’t be.