Chapter 8 Cassidy
My head pounds the second that I wake up.
A weak groan leaves me as I slowly sit up, my eyes remaining closed to protect myself against the bright sunlight that’s undoubtedly flooding the room.
My hand presses against my forehead, my body aching in places they’ve never ached before. What the hell happened?
I hesitantly slide open one eye, squinting it against the sunlight to make out a blurry shape next to me. I blink a few times, my vision sharpening.
“Oh, no.”
My stomach lurches as I stumble out of bed away from Marcus, the air hitting my very naked body. Where are my clothes? Where are the others?
One of my questions gets answered when Jackson walks past the open bedroom door, shuffling like he’s a zombie.
I bury my face in my hands for a second, reeling from all the memories playing in my mind. I slept with Ryan’s best friends. Twice. Over and over.
The sound of shuffling makes me drop my hands just as Marcus sits up with a sleepy look on his face. If I wasn’t panicking, I’d find it super cute.
His eyes center on me, and he quickly clocks my panic.
“Breathe, Cassidy.”
“Breathe?” I question him, my heart pounding erratically. “Do you remember what we did last night?”
“Very clearly,” another voice says.
I whip around to see Tyler standing in the doorway, only wearing a pair of pants. At least he’s somewhat dressed. “I can’t find my clothes.”
“They’re in my bedroom somewhere,” Marcus replies, rubbing his eyes. “Just take a second.”
I shake my head as I rush past Tyler, nearly running straight into Jackson.
Jackson grabs my arms, forcing me to stand there. “Slow down, Cass.”
I peer up at him, torn between the guilt and joy I feel about what happened last night. I had an incredible time, but what if Ryan somehow caught us? How would he feel about his little sister making the most of a jacuzzi with his best friends?
“I can’t be here,” I tell him. “What was I thinking coming here last night? What if Ryan showed up to see you guys?”
“He was way too occupied taking shots to track us down,” Tyler assures me.
“He must’ve noticed that you guys keep sneaking off. You should be spending time with him this weekend. Not me.”
“I doubt he’ll remember much of anything this weekend,” Tyler mutters.
“If he asks, we’ll just tell him we were feeling the alcohol too much and needed to lay down,” Marcus adds. “It’s not a big deal, Cass.”
Their casualness about all of this makes me even more nervous. Am I the only one aware of the possible fallout that could happen if Ryan finds out that we had sex?
Or am I the only one worried about it?
“It is a big deal. He’s my brother. Your best friend. We should care,” I tell them, my voice coming out sharper than I intend. “I’m sorry. I’m just…stressed. I need to go back to my room.”
Jackson frowns, looking conflicted. He finally releases me, letting me hurry to Marcus’ bedroom.
My clothes are scattered across the room along with theirs, the sheets still messy and unruly.
I grab my panties and slide them on, my heart rate rising when I hear them enter the room behind me. “Ryan can’t find out about this. Ever.”
“I wasn’t rushing to tell him,” Tyler replies as he grabs my dress off the floor to hand it over.
I avoid his eyes as I take it, my face burning. I’m really not looking forward to the walk of shame back to my hotel room.
What if someone I know spots me?
“We’re not going to say anything,” Marcus says. “This is just between us.”
“And it can’t happen again,” I tell them firmly despite the yearning in my chest.
Keeping one night a secret is enough of a struggle. Multiple instances of sneaky sex is just asking to be caught.
Jackson tugs on his shirt, staring at the floor quietly. I wish I could read his mind.
“You don’t have to run off so soon,” Tyler says, stepping in front of me to catch my gaze.
My heart aches. He has no idea how badly I want to stay, but that just can’t happen. If anyone catches me in here with them, they’ll know what happened last night.
And they’ll tell Ryan.
I can’t even fully imagine the aftermath of that, and I don’t particularly want to.
This is his bachelor weekend, and his wedding is around the corner. He should be focused on marrying the love of his life. Not what his sister and his friends are up to.
“I do,” I reply. “You guys are Ryan’s best friends. This would destroy your friendship with him, and I don’t want that.”
I don’t even know how upset Ryan would be with me. I don’t think he would completely turn his back on me, but things wouldn’t ever be the same between us. He would always remember how I snuck around with his best friends behind his back.
I can’t imagine my life without him. He was there for me when no one else was.
Doing this feels like stabbing him in the back because I could literally be with anyone else besides the three of them.
“I get that. I just…” Tyler trails off with a sigh.
There’s nothing else to say. He knows that I’m right.
“This didn’t happen,” I remind them before zipping my dress up and slipping on my heels.
They all quietly nod, tension filling the air.
I walk over to the doorway of the bedroom and pause, my stomach twisting. This isn’t how I wanted things to end between us, especially after the two incredible nights we spent together.
“I’m sorry,” I tell them, unable to meet their eyes.
If I see any sadness or disappointment on their faces, I’ll crumble and crawl right back in bed with them.
Casting my gaze down, I go to the foyer, my steps feeling heavier and heavier the farther I get from them. Everything in me wants to turn back around and enjoy the fantasy for just a little longer, but that’s all this can be.
A past fantasy.
I poke my head out of the suite and check the hallway, not seeing a single soul. The door lightly clicks shut behind me before I hurry to the elevator, going down a few floors to my hotel room.
A few people roam up and down the hallway when I step out of the elevator, but I don’t see any familiar faces. If anyone from the wedding party sees me in the same dress I went out in yesterday, they’ll quickly figure out that I spent the night in someone else’s room.
I can’t handle an interrogation this morning.
I’m only ten feet away from my hotel room door when my phone buzzes. My blood runs cold. Did someone find out? Is it Ryan demanding to talk?
I check my phone and release the breath that I was holding when I see that it’s just Sarah messaging in the group chat.
See everyone at breakfast in thirty minutes! Hungover or not ;)
Damn it. I forgot about breakfast by the pool. I’m the one who made the reservation!
I fumble with my key card and finally get the door open so that I can rush inside and hide myself from the rest of the world.
For a few seconds, I seriously consider saying I’m too sick to come and just staying in my room for the whole day to contemplate every decision that I’ve made in the past 48 hours.
But that’s not fair to Sarah. She needs her maid of honor to be present for the last day of her bachelorette party weekend.
I force myself into a cold shower, gritting my teeth as goosebumps cover my arms. At least it temporarily distracts me from the mess I’ve possibly made. The guys are going to be around Ryan constantly.
They may be better liars than me, but what if they slip up? What if Ryan puts pieces together?
By the time that I only have five minutes to rush to breakfast, my hair is still damp, and my makeup consists of lip gloss and mascara. I retire my heels for sandals and throw on a midi dress that’s at the top of the folded clothes in my suitcase.
It’ll have to be good enough for breakfast. After that, I can gather myself a little more.
I think a mimosa will help me calm my nerves.
Or maybe two.