Chapter 13 Cassidy
Sunshine and sparkling blue water greet me as soon as I arrive in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.
My body aches from sitting on the plane for so long or maybe it’s one of the many annoying pregnancy symptoms that I’ve been suffering through lately.
My purse is full of ginger chews to keep myself from vomiting in every public place I’m in, and I feel like I’m borderline narcoleptic at this point because I’m so exhausted all the time.
But this week isn’t about me and my secrets.
It’s about my brother and my best friend getting married, and I’m determined to be a maid of honor first and a terrified pregnant woman second.
I’m in Mexico a few days earlier than the rest of the wedding guests, aside from Ryan and Sarah, so that I can get a jumpstart on all the things that I need to do.
Not only do I have to make sure everything is ready and prepared for the ceremony and the reception, but I also have to make sure that this entire week of festivities and events goes well too.
“This is so beautiful!” Sarah squeals as she rushes across the large lobby of the luxury resort I picked out. She nearly slams into me, her arms wrapping around my neck tightly. “It’s perfect. How did you find the most perfect place?”
I smile and hug her back, peering over her shoulder at the mixture of Mediterranean and Hispanic styles that make the resort look modern and upscale but also culturally festive. I can only imagine how nice the suites are.
And the spa. The pool. The outdoor and indoor bars. The five-star restaurants. The beach.
“A lot of internet browsing,” I reply as we release each other. “Where’s Ryan?”
“Drinking his third rum runner at the bar by the pool,” Sarah laughs. “We’ll all get dinner tonight once you’re settled.”
“Sounds good,” I tell her. “I just need to get my room key and drop my luggage off.”
“I’ll help,” Sarah quips before taking one of my suitcases. “Are you ready for the best vacation ever?”
It’s a bit of a mixture between work and play for me since I have so much to do as maid of honor, but at least I’m in a beautiful place. Maybe it’ll be easier for me to forget about everything here.
Or I’ll be constantly reminded once the guys show up in a few days for the welcome dinner.
“Absolutely,” I reply as we walk to the front desk together. “Checking in. Cassidy Monroe.”
Once I get my key and a rundown of the amenities, I walk over to one of the two elevators and step inside the first one that opens.
Sarah follows me inside. “I heard the spa is amazing. We should go tomorrow.”
Dull pain radiates throughout my back and feet just from standing there. A massage would probably do me wonders.
“That sounds perfect. I really need a massage.”
She bumps her shoulder against mine. “Are you working yourself too hard, Cass? You know, I’m happy to help out with the wedding stuff.”
I shake my head. “I’ve got it covered. I’m just recovering from some late nights working.”
That’s not entirely a lie, but what’s keeping me up late at night isn’t work. It’s everything else.
I’m going to be a mom. My entire life is going to change, and nothing will ever be the same. When the truth comes out, I could lose people I love.
I’ve been abandoned before. I don’t want to go through that again.
Ryan stuck by my side through everything. He never left, but this might make him walk away from me.
He isn’t very forgiving when it comes to people lying to him and stabbing him in the back.
“Just please try to relax a little. Have some drinks. Take a swim,” she encourages me as we walk out of the elevator together, my suitcases rolling behind us.
“I’ll try to relax,” I promise her.
I’ll most likely fail, but I’ll still try.
I unlock the door to my suite and step inside, my jaw dropping. “Holy shit.”
And that’s an understatement.
I didn’t even need a suite, but Sarah and Ryan insisted that I have a nice room all to myself for all the work I’ve been doing for them.
For an entire week, I have a king-sized bed, an ocean view with a balcony, a private bar and coffee maker, and a large oval tub to enjoy. This is even nicer than my room in Las Vegas.
“Only the best for the best,” Sarah tells me, bumping her hip against mine as she walks past me to leave my suitcase by the closet.
I kick off my sandals and flop down onto the large bed, sighing in relief as my feet leave the floor. It feels like I’m on a cloud.
I think I want to stay here forever.
Sarah drops down next to me, her smile radiant. “I’m so glad you’re here. And not just because you’re my maid of honor. Because there’s no other person I want with me on my wedding week more than you. Aside from Ryan, of course.”
I laugh. “Well, yeah. He kind of has to be here.”
Sarah loops her arm with mine. “I love both of you.”
I give her a warm look. “This is your happily ever after.”
They’re meant for each other. They had a spark the day that they met, and I can still see that spark to this day. It’s like they never left the honeymoon phase.
But they’ve also been through a lot.
Sarah’s dad passing away. Ryan losing his job and struggling to find a new one that paid the same amount or more. Their apartment getting flooded because of a neighbor’s mistake and losing nearly all their things.
But everything worked out in the end. It all brought them closer together.
“This is the man I want to be with for the rest of my life,” she says. “This is the man I want to raise a family with.”
Happiness flutters in my chest before getting stomped out by an overwhelming wave of sadness. When they decide to have a baby in the near future, they won’t be stressed because of secrets. Everything will work out exactly like planned.
While I’m over here struggling from the consequences of my own reckless actions.
The baby’s father is one of three men, and they’re all men who I shouldn’t have laid a finger on in the first place.
Ryan and Sarah will be celebrated for their pregnancy, and I’ll be looked down upon. Judged.
It makes my stomach twist with guilt, and I hate that I can’t be happy for Ryan and Sarah without feeling down about my own situation.
“That’s great,” I tell her, my voice coming out weak as I struggle not to get choked up.
“Of course, we’ll wait a little bit after the wedding and everything. There’s no need to rush,” Sarah says, smiling up at the ceiling. “Would you throw my baby shower? I know you’d do such an amazing job.”
I swallow hard, realizing that I won’t be able to ask her to do the same. It’ll be too awkward. Too complicated.
I’m all alone in this, and I have to bite my lip to keep myself from breaking down. I don’t cry for help. I answer other people’s cries for help.
This won’t be an exception.
I don’t care how terrified I am. This is my mess to clean up.
“Of course. I’d love to,” I say, plastering a smile onto my face as I turn my head toward her. “Everything is going to be amazing for you, Sarah.”
Awe pools in her eyes. “It will be for you too. I know things are weird because of Derek being here, but you guys had a pretty amicable breakup, right? Maybe you can be friends.”
Part of me wonders if I should’ve been upfront with Sarah and Ryan about how badly Derek hurt me, but that would be putting a rift in the friend group, and I don’t want to be responsible for that.
I don’t want to be whispered about behind my back, and I don’t want Derek to spew lies just to make himself look better.
It’s easier to act like we didn’t work out, and he called it off gently.
“Yeah, maybe we can be.”
Never.