Chapter 17 Cassidy
“Just as good as I remember it being.”
Jackson chuckles as he lifts his head off mine. “Yeah, it’s a damn good movie. The sequel sucks, though.”
I roll my neck a little, loosening my stiff muscles from laying my head on his shoulder for so long. “I just pretend that it doesn’t exist.”
“Are you feeling better?”
“Yes, your magic soda and crackers trick worked,” I reply as I stretch my arms over my head, grimacing as my body aches.
At least the nausea is gone. For now.
“Told you,” Jackson says before getting off my bed. He walks over to my glass balcony door and peers out at the ocean. “You have a better view than we do.”
“We do? You’re rooming with someone?”
“Tyler, Marcus, and I have this huge suite we’re sharing,” Jackson replies. “We live together, so it’s not a big deal sharing something again.”
I’m well aware that they’re good at sharing things.
“It doesn’t get tiring?” I ask as I slide out of bed and move to his side.
“Being with them all the time? Nah,” Jackson says, tucking his hands into the pockets of his swim trunks. “I’m used to it.”
“I love Sarah, but I’d probably strangle her if we lived together,” I admit with a sheepish laugh before opening the balcony door and stepping outside.
Jackson follows, the ocean breeze washing over us and blowing through our hair. “Really?”
“You’ve never seen my place before, but I’m all about organized chaos. I have things everywhere, but they’re still in their rightful place,” I explain.
“And Sarah is a neat freak or something?”
I laugh and shake my head. “No, she’s kind of the same way as me, but we would want all of our things in different places.”
“Wow, sounds like you’re completely incompatible.”
Amusement warms me as I bump my shoulder against his arm. “Thanks for tending to me. It was nice of you.”
“I don’t like seeing you so worn down like that,” Jackson replies as he angles his body toward me. “You’re shouldering a lot of pressure and responsibilities being their maid of honor.”
“Sarah would do it for me,” I tell him, my hand resting on the railing. “Everyone needs to stop worrying about me so much.”
“We can tell something is up,” Jackson says as he reaches out to tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear. His fingertips graze my cheek, my skin immediately warming. “And we care about you.”
“Things have been a little stressful. What happened in Las Vegas kind of added on to all the pressure I was already feeling. And…” I trail off before I can go too far. I’m just not ready to bring up the baby yet.
I don’t know how to.
“And?”
My throat tightens as a surge of guilt and fear hits me. I want to hide in his arms and forget about everything that’s bothering me. I don’t want to face all of my problems head on.
Why can’t this be simpler? Why can’t I be in a normal, happy relationship like Sarah?
“Hey,” Jackson says, his voice softening. He cups my cheek as I rapidly blink my eyes. “Talk to me.”
I can’t. I just can’t.
“I’m glad you’re here. I’m glad you’re not mad at me or anything,” I tell him, spilling partial truths instead of full ones.
Jackson frowns and pulls me against his chest, one hand resting on the back of my head. “I couldn’t ever be mad at you, Cass. I was just trying to keep my distance because I don’t trust myself around you.”
I wrap my arms around his built torso, my cheek resting against his strong chest. “I don’t trust myself around you guys either.”
Jackson sighs, his other hand rubbing my back. “What are we going to do all this week?”
I tilt my head back to gaze up at him. “Probably be miserable.”
Jackson’s hand gravitates back to my cheek, his thumb grazing my bottom lip. “That doesn’t feel fair.”
“It’s not.”
We don’t move from that spot, continuing to stare at each other as the air grows thicker and heavier around us. Like it’s holding us together.
Like we’re not meant to be apart.
It feels too good being in his arms. I can’t tear myself out of them just yet.
Instead, I lift up on my toes and press my lips against his, my hands resting on his chest.
Jackson immediately returns my kiss, deepening it with a tease of his tongue.
Heat flushes through me, coursing through every vein in my body. I let my hands travel everywhere over his bare torso, exploring every line and ridge of muscle. Every stroke of ink and scar.
“Come here,” Jackson murmurs before picking me up by my hips with ease.
I wrap my legs around his waist and curl my arms around his neck, holding on tightly as he carries me back into my suite.
The balcony door thuds shut behind us, and I no longer hear the crash of the waves or the birds crying outside. All I hear is faint gasps and moans as he lays me down on my bed and works on stripping off my clothes.
The cool air hits my bare skin as he tosses my t-shirt to the side, my nipples quickly hardening.
Jackson groans at the sight and leans down to suck on one of them, squeezing my breast with his hand.
The lash of his tongue drives me crazy. “Oh…”
Jackson moves his lips to the other nipple, kneading my flesh in his large hands so that not a single inch goes untouched. “Fuck, you look gorgeous.”
My face burns from the compliment. He’s the one who looks like he could be a model. Especially lately, I haven’t really been feeling myself.
But Jackson gazes down at me like I’m a work of art made to be admired. He teases my nipples with his fingertips before trailing his fingers along the curves of my breasts.
I can’t help but shiver under his touch, goosebumps forming on my skin. He could spend the entire day touching me like this, and it would be sweet torture. It feels so good, but I know what’s coming will feel even better.
“I want you,” I tell him, needing more.
“Good,” he murmurs before taking his hands off me.
I’m about to whine in protest when he slips his fingers under the waist of my shorts and panties, tugging them off me in one pull. He pushes my legs apart to settle between them, his head dipping between my thighs.
A pleased gasp rips from me as his tongue strokes my clit. Over and over. I fist the sheets on either side of me, my back arching off the bed as he tastes me.
Jackson runs his hands over me, squeezing the soft flesh of my ass and thighs and keeping me pinned down so that his mouth can work. He dips his tongue into my entrance, teasing me to make me squirm.
“Jax,” I beg.
Jackson drags his tongue back up to my clit, circling slowly. His eyes lift to mine, dark and hungry.
“Please don’t stop,” I tell him, familiar tension winding tight low in my stomach.
Jackson digs his fingers into my thighs, holding my hips down as he sucks on my clit.
I nearly come out of my own body, my nerves lighting up with pleasure. I grip his hair as my back lifts off the bed. “Oh, fuck…yes…yes!”
My orgasm overtakes me, reducing me to a shaking mess that he eagerly licks up.
Jackson kisses the inside of my thigh before lifting his head, looking satisfied. “I want to fuck you now. Can you handle that, angel?”
I nod, breathless.
“You know I like to hear your voice,” Jackson murmurs as he sits back on his legs, rubbing his erection through his swim trunks.
My mouth dries. “I can handle that. I can handle you.”
He smirks. “Yeah, we’ll see about that. Get on your side.”
I do as he says, turning onto my right side. I nearly shudder from anticipation, still feeling sensitive from the insane pleasure that just his mouth can elicit.
Jackson takes off his swim trunks and lays down behind me, his cock pressing against the curve of my ass. He kisses the back of my shoulder as he lifts my top leg, allowing his cock to slide back and forth through my folds.
I lean back against him, bliss sparking just from the friction of his grinding. I turn my head and kiss him over my shoulder just as the head of his cock presses against my entrance and pushes inside.
Our kiss muffles my responding moan. I have to remember to breathe as he fills me with every inch.
“Fuck, I missed this,” Jackson murmurs, burying himself to the hilt. “You know, I dreamed about this. Us. I wanted it so fucking badly I couldn’t even escape it in my sleep.”
“Now, you’ve got the real thing again,” I say with a wry smile.
Knowing that he dreams about me makes my stomach flutter. Sure, he can’t control his dreams, but his mind is on me one way or another.
“So much better,” Jackson replies before kissing me again. He tightens his grip on my leg, keeping my thighs apart so that he can start rocking into me. “Feels so good.”
I reach back and card my fingers through his hair, pleasure building within me with every hard thrust. The angle he hits is deliciously deep, increasing the pressure between my thighs.
He’s going to unravel me all over again.
“Just like that,” I tell him as his hips snap against me.
“You like it hard, huh?” Jackson murmurs near my ear.
A blissful smile crosses my face. “I don’t want you to hold back. If you wanted to be with me so badly that you dreamed about it, show me.”
Jackson takes my challenge and rolls me onto my stomach. He moves on top of me, pounding into me as he holds me down against the mattress.
My cheek presses against the bed as he gives me exactly what I asked for, my core throbbing. He drives into me so hard that I can’t even string a sentence together. All I can do is cry out when my second orgasm wrecks me.
Jackson spills inside of me right afterward, breathing heavily. “Fuck, Cass.”
I can’t even push myself up to my hands and knees. My arms and legs feel like jelly right now, so I just lay there, taking in what just happened.
We did exactly what we weren’t supposed to do.
“Jax…”
“I know,” he sighs as he rests his forehead against the back of my shoulder. “Damn it.”
I wish I could regret all the sex more, but no one has ever made me feel as good as them.
A soft laugh breaks from me, sparking his own. We lay there for a few moments until our laughter fades into silence. Until there’s nothing left to do but deal with reality.
“You should probably rejoin the group soon so they don’t get suspicious,” I tell him. “I’ll show up for dinner and say I took a nap.”
Jackson carefully pulls out of me before rolling me over and picking me up. He carries me to the bathroom. “Sounds like a plan. I’ll clean up and go. Shower or bath?”
“I think I’ll take a long bath.”
I’m proud of myself for not inviting him in with me. The tub is certainly big enough for both of us.
Jackson sets me down and switches on the hot water for the tub. “I’m sorry.”
I shake my head as I hand him a washcloth. “I kissed you first.”
“I should’ve left after room service came,” he says, running the cloth under the sink’s hot water.
“I invited you to stay,” I remind him. “This isn’t on you.”
“It’s not just on you either,” he replies, our eyes meeting. “We can’t trust ourselves around each other.”
As we established earlier.
“I don’t want to go out there and act like you don’t exist,” I tell him as my shoulders slump. “Or like you don’t matter to me. I grew up with you guys. I’ve known you all forever.”
Jackson leans forward to press a brief kiss against my forehead. “I don’t know how we’re going to navigate this, Cass. It’s only for a week and then after that…”
My eyes lower. After that, we’ll barely see each other again because we live in different cities.
Jackson sighs and washes up before leaving the bathroom to put on his swim trunks. He returns to the bathroom doorway afterward, his expression unreadable. “I’ll see you tonight.”
I look at him for a brief second and nod. “See you tonight.”
When I hear the door open and shut, I hang my head over the bathroom sink, my hands bracing on the edge of the counter. Why do I have to want three guys who I can’t have?
And as the cherry on top, why did I have to end up pregnant by one of them too?