Chapter 24 Cassidy
Cocktails. Appetizers. Desserts. Pop music from all decades. Party games.
I’ve got everything covered for girls’ night, which is really just a party in a huge suite. We don’t know how to do anything lowkey, and I refused to let this be the one event that I didn’t put my all into planning.
“I just want to stay here forever,” Sarah sighs happily as the bridal party spreads out throughout the suite, lounging in the living room area, hanging out on the balcony, and eating in the kitchen.
I sit down on the large sectional sofa next to Sarah, slowly nibbling on a slider to keep from having to pretend-drink a cocktail. “I don’t think even you and Ryan can afford that.”
“Maybe if he can work remotely,” Sarah replies with a playful twinkle in her eye. “But I would miss you too much to move so far away.”
“Cheeseball,” I tease her.
Sarah laughs. “What can I say? I’ve been feeling sentimental lately. I get to be in paradise with all the people I love the most!”
Scattered cheers fill the suite as some of the other girls respond.
Becca and Kara crash down on the couch on my other side, holding fancy cocktail glasses in their hands.
“This has been the best week ever,” Kara tells us. “I still can’t believe I’m here. I’ve never been out of the country before until now.”
“I’ll just divorce Ryan and then marry him again so that we can have another wedding week,” Sarah jokes. “I know who my maid of honor will be again.”
I don’t know if I have it in me to be maid of honor again. Maybe if I wasn’t pregnant because the symptoms have really made this quite the challenge.
“I hope my wedding is as amazing as yours will be,” Becca tells Sarah as she sinks back into the couch cushion.
“You have to find a husband first,” Kara says, nudging her.
“I’m trying!” Becca sighs dramatically. “We have a bunch of hot groomsmen here, and I can’t land a single date.”
“How’s that possible? You’re hot!” Sarah replies, throwing her hands up.
“Not hot enough I guess,” Becca mutters.
Kara clicks her tongue. “What do you mean?”
“Ryan broke the ice for me with Tyler, and he wasn’t interested at all,” Becca tells her. “It was so embarrassing. I thought he’d go for me.”
I busy myself with nibbling on the tiny bun of my slider, my eyes darting back and forth between the girls as they talk.
“He’s so hot. You should try again,” Kara tells her. “Maybe it was just an off night for him. Or having Ryan standing right there made him reel back a little.”
“I hope so. Maybe I’ll try again tomorrow when I can get him alone,” Becca replies, pursing her lips in thought. “I can see if he wants to get a drink with me.”
“Good idea,” Sarah tells her. “Or get him to walk on the beach with you.”
Being on the beach together is our thing.
Jealousy flares up inside of me as Becca and Kara practically drool over him and Sarah fans the flames, but I rein it in. He’s not my boyfriend. I have no claim over him.
But I definitely don’t like the thought of anyone else being with him. As unfair as that is.
“Maybe I will do that,” Becca replies before bumping her shoulder against Kara. “I think Jackson and Marcus are single. You should get with one of them, and we can go on a double date.”
My jaw clenches. They can’t take two of them away from me.
“Yes!” Sarah cheers them on. “This is a week all about love. Go and find yours!”
I think she’s had enough sex on the beach cocktails for tonight. She needs to stop encouraging them.
“What about you, Cass? Got your eye on anyone?” Becca asks me.
My face burns like I’ve been caught in the act.
“What? No,” I say quickly.
Too quickly.
Suspicion immediately fills their faces.
“No one? Really?” Kara replies, cocking an eyebrow at me. “You haven’t even seen anyone cute around the resort?”
“I mean…there have been nice looking guys…around…” I say, struggling to string my words together into complete sentences.
Why does my brain have to malfunction right now? Why can’t I just lie better?
“You could pick between Jackson and Marcus, and I’ll take the other one,” Kara offers. “Triple date!”
“I doubt she wants to get with either of them. She grew up with them. They probably see her as a little sister,” Sarah replies, waving her hand dismissively.
I think I’m going to be sick.
“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Kara says. “Jackson doesn’t really seem emotionally available. Marcus is probably the best pick.”
“I’d say Tyler is the one less interested in a serious relationship,” Sarah comments with a laugh. “He’s kind of a womanizer.”
Becca shrugs. “Even if I just sleep with him once during this trip, I’ll be satisfied.”
This conversation feels like it’s eating away at my very soul. Is this some sort of test? Is this a sign that I need to really detach myself from the guys?
If I don’t make them mine, they’re going to get with other women, and that’s going to hurt.
“You know, there was a really cute bartender at the poolside bar today,” Becca comments, nudging me with her elbow. “Maybe he’s single. I bet he’d at least make you free drinks if you flirted with him a little.”
I can’t drink, and I haven’t been interested in a single soul outside of the guys since Las Vegas. But I can’t tell any of them a word of that.
“I’m fine,” I assure her.
Sarah leans closer to me. “Is Derek being here making it hard for you to put yourself out there?”
My heart rate kicks up, and my stomach lurches at the same time. Why does she have to bring him up again?
Now, Becca and Kara look even more intrigued.
“Are you still interested in him?” Becca asks me.
“I’m not,” I reply, doing my best not to sound aggressive.
I would never get back with Derek. Not in a million years. Not if he was the last person on Earth. Not for anything.
“He’s got a girlfriend at home,” Kara murmurs to Becca.
Becca shrugs. “Yeah, but he and Cassidy have history.”
Sarah gives them both a pointed look. “I think starting new would be good for her. Someone outside of the friend group.”
“At least she and Derek handled things amicably. Things don’t even seem awkward for you guys,” Kara says.
I do not want to sit around and have this conversation. It’s bad enough that I have to listen to them plan to make moves on the guys that I like and can’t have and who all have an equal chance of being the father of my child.
I’m especially not going to talk about my ex-boyfriend who has decided to show interest in me months after insinuating that I just wasn’t good enough for him to marry.
“Is anyone hungry?” I ask as I stand from the couch, the room feeling abnormally hot. Maybe it’s from all the body heat of everyone in here.
Sarah frowns. “We’re fine. Where are you going?”
“I just need to check on some things,” I tell her before walking over to the kitchen area where some of the girls are making their own mixed drinks. “Have we run out of anything? Garnishes? Ice? I can run and get more.”
“We’re fine, Cass.”
“Yeah, we have everything we need.”
I nod and check the platters full of food, hoping to see that something needs refilling. But no dice. We’re still stocked on everything because I planned things a little too well.
Damn it, past me.
I head out onto the balcony where some girls are taking pictures. “Want me to take pictures of you?”
“We’re just doing some selfies. Thanks, though.”
I almost throw my hands up. I’ve done five million things for people throughout this entire trip, and no one needs anything from me when I want them to?
I need to be distracted. I need to be busy so that my discomfort and jealousy can’t eat me alive.
I shouldn’t even feel jealous! It’s not like I’ll somehow end up with all three guys, and they’re all still cool with me after finding out that I kept my pregnancy a secret for so long.
Becca landing Tyler and Kara getting with either Jackson or Marcus are more realistic outcomes.
I make a whole loop around the entire suite, checking on everyone that I can and doing the most minute tasks like fixing pillows and throwing away trash. Things I’d do after the party is over with.
My back and feet start to ache as I keep moving, my skin growing clammy. A lightheaded feeling seeps into my head, making me sway for a second as my balance gets thrown off.
Sarah stands from the couch and hurries over to me to grab my arm and steady me. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” I assure her. “I just got dizzy for a second.”
Becca and Kara look over the back of the couch at me, frowning in concern.
“You look kind of pale, Cass,” Becca tells me.
“And like you’re about to break a sweat,” Kara adds.
I swallow hard as my vision slightly blurs for a second, my body feeling weaker and weaker. “I’m…fine. I just…”
I trail off, unable to find the words to say. My brain feels like it’s trapped in a hazy cloud.
“You need to sit down,” Sarah tells me before dragging me around the couch. She pushes on my shoulders until I drop down onto the cushions.
“It’s hot in here,” I say as I press the back of my hand against my forehead, which feels hot and cold at the same time.
Or maybe my skin is hot on the outside, and I feel cold on the inside.
I can’t tell, but it’s one of the most uncomfortable things that I’ve ever felt.
“You’re making me nervous,” Sarah tells me.
“I just need to rest for a second,” I assure her.
Sarah shares a worried look with Kara and Becca.
“Call Jackson. He can help.”