Chapter 41 Cassidy
Afew hours before everyone has to check out and head to the airport to go home, I leave my room and head down to the pool where people are enjoying brunch.
It’s cool this morning. There’s a gentle breeze coming in from the sea that rolls over my skin and coaxes my hair back from my face as I look around at all the taken tables.
I finally spot Ryan seated at one in the back with a cup of coffee in front of him. My stomach flip flops, and I can’t tell if that’s from smelling breakfast meat or my nervousness. Probably both.
I breathe in steadily, quelling the sensation and readying myself for a conversation that has needed to happen for days now.
“Morning,” I say once I reach the table.
Ryan looks up and gives me a small smile, looking notably tired. He and Sarah were still dancing and drinking by the time I left with the guys to get some rest, so I can only imagine when he finally got in bed.
“Morning,” he replies before nodding to the empty chair across from him.
I sit down, and a waiter immediately comes by to take my order. I settle with plain toast and hot tea, hoping to handle any nausea before I’m stuck on a plane for a while.
“I’m glad we’re doing this,” I tell him. “I’ve really been wanting to talk to you.”
“I’m sorry I made myself so unavailable,” Ryan says, shaking his head at himself. “I knew you wanted to talk, and I shut you out because I was mad and confused.”
“I understand why you felt that way,” I reply. “We went about things the wrong way. I wanted to tell you a very different way.”
“I know. Things never work out as planned,” Ryan tells me, the side of his mouth turning up. “All we can do is move on.”
“I still feel bad,” I admit as I glance down at the table, picking at the corner of the napkin that the utensils are wrapped in.
“Because you think you deserve to be punished,” Ryan replies, making my eyes dart up to his. “You’ve always been that way, Cass. You’ve been failed so many times by other people that you expect bad outcomes, even for yourself.”
I chew on the inside of my cheek, his words hitting me hard. I guess I should’ve expected him out of everyone to figure that out about me.
“I’m not going to punish you for doing what makes you happy. I should’ve never made you feel like you couldn’t talk to me,” Ryan says.
Now, he’s the one who sounds guilty.
“You’ve done so much for me. The last thing I ever wanted to do was disappoint you,” I tell him, my voice shaking for a second. I swallow to steady myself. “I tried not to fall for them.”
“And that’s like me trying not to fall for Sarah. It just doesn’t work that way. You can’t control your heart,” Ryan tells me. “I want you to be happy, Cassidy. The guys seem right for you.”
“They are,” I reply before taking a breath. “And you should know the truth about Derek. We didn’t break up on good terms. Our relationship was terrible, and he broke up with me because he decided that I wasn’t good enough for him.”
“I sent him home last night.”
My eyes grow wide. “What?”
“Well, I kicked him out of the reception and told him to pack his bags and not show his face again,” Ryan admits as he sits up straighter.
“He was really drunk last night and made some comments about you that really pissed me off. I think the guys have been trying to make it clear to me that things aren’t as civil as they seem between you and him. I finally got that message last night.”
Relief fills my chest as I nod. “I didn’t want to cause any drama in the wedding party by saying anything.”
Ryan sighs and reaches out to grab my hand. “Be honest with me, Cass. Start drama if it means telling me the truth. I’d rather that than not know. I never would’ve stayed friends with him, much less make him my best man if I knew what he put you through.”
“I’m sorry. You’re right. No more lying. No more secrets,” I promise him.
They’re too exhausting to keep up with anyway.
“Thank goodness,” Ryan sighs before releasing my hand as the waiter comes by with my toast and hot tea. “Nauseous?”
“All the time,” I tell him. “It has been a hard pregnancy.”
“And you did all those maid of honor duties on top of it all,” he murmurs, shaking his head. “Thank you for everything you did for us, even when I was acting like an ass. Seriously.”
“I wanted this week to be perfect for you guys. You deserve it,” I reply as I squeeze lemon into my black tea.
“And you deserve happiness too,” he reminds me. “We weren’t handed good cards at the beginning of our lives, but we have the chance to live the lives of our dreams now. Let’s not let it go to waste.”
I smile and nod in agreement. A lot has turned around for us, and I’m going to take advantage of that.
When I get home, everything is going to change. There are big decisions that I still need to make with the guys, but everything is going to fall into place. I feel it in my heart.
“I love you,” I tell him.
He smiles back and steals a bite of my toast. “Yeah, I love you too.”
For a moment, we’re back in the kitchen of our childhood home. He’s making us breakfast while our mom is still asleep, and I’m following his every move trying to help. I’m mostly getting in the way, but he doesn’t get mad. He just smiles and shows me what I can do.
He has always been that person, even during the dark moments, and we’ve had our share of those growing up.
“Ready for your honeymoon?” I ask him.
“I’m not ready for the flight all the way to Greece, but I’m looking forward to another beautiful view and some amazing food,” Ryan replies with a tired chuckle. “What are you going to do when you get back home?”
“I’ll have to give you a big update whenever you guys get back,” I tell him. I don’t have any definite answers for him yet.
Ryan nods. “Whatever you decide to do, I support you.”
I give him a grateful look. I don’t need his support, but it means the world to have it after everything that we have been through.
“When I first arrived here, I thought I would never want to go back home,” I admit as I glance around at the beautiful resort we got to enjoy for a whole week. “But I’m actually ready to go home.”
“You’ve got a lot to look forward to,” Ryan points out.
Warmth blooms in my chest as I think of the guys, who are probably still fast asleep in their beds. It was nice finally spending the night with them again and not having to sneak out of their room this morning.
Now that we’re together, the possibilities are endless for us. I can’t wait to explore every single one of them.
After we finish with our small breakfast, Ryan and I take the elevator up to our floor so that we can finish last minute packing and spend the rest of the morning with the loves of our lives.
“Thank you for everything,” Ryan murmurs as we embrace.
I smile against his shoulder and squeeze him tightly. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me.”
That list is endless.
We share one last look with each other before breaking apart.
I use Marcus’ key card that I borrowed to let myself back into their suite, and I’m quick to disappear back under the sheets with the men I love to escape the morning sunlight.