Yours In Matrimony
Chapter eleven
Finn paced the length of the drawing room. In a matter of moments, he and Lucianna would be wed. He’d be a husband.
“Tides,” he whispered.
His hands reached up—
“Sir,” Bernadair spoke with gentle warning.
“I know,” Finn grumbled, and dropped his hands. They’d just smoothed his hair down after the last time he’d run his hands through it.
The door opened as Finn turned toward it. Castien appeared. Finn’s stomach dropped at the sight of him. His presence meant it was almost time.
“Your Highness,” Bernadair greeted with a bow.
Castien nodded, his crown glinting in the light.
Finn noticed that he was wearing the same black coat he’d worn to his own wedding not long ago.
That had been a much happier day. Finn had found Castien in this drawing room, in fact.
Only instead of anxiously pacing, Castien had been penning a letter to hand to Wren at the altar.
They’d been writing letters to one another almost as long as they’d known each other, and still did to this day.
After they shared their first kiss as a married couple, Wren held up a letter of her own.
Finn gritted his teeth. He would have nothing of the sort today. A sudden fear struck him.
“Am I to kiss her?” he blurted out in his shock.
Castien paused just inside the door. His dark brows furrowed. “I . . .” The Gifted strategist hesitated. “I do not know.”
Much to Bernadair’s dismay, Finn’s hands slipped into his hair and tugged at the roots.
“I should have asked her last night, but she was standing there in her nightgown freezing to death. And I know she lied to me about why she was out. She is a thief, after all. I have half a mind to think it was her who was eavesdropping on us—”
Castien interrupted Finn’s rambling. “Last night? You mean you saw her after dinner?”
“Yes. I caught her in the hallway in nothing but a nightgown. She wasn’t even wearing shoes!” He shook his head at the preposterous act. “I gave her my coat so she wouldn’t fall ill, then sent her to bed.”
His cousin stared at him as though he’d morphed into a cryptura. A few feet away, Bernadair blinked and tried not to look as though he was listening to every word.
“I feel as though this is something we need Wren for,” Castien hedged. “But she’s already in the ballroom with everyone else.”
Finn threw his arms up. “Then go get her! Because I need someone to tell me what I am to do. Apparently, that is all I am good for: taking orders.”
The room went silent for just long enough that Finn’s words could reach his own ears. He scrubbed his face.
“I’m sorry. Don’t listen to me, Cas. I’ve lost it,” Finn groaned with his hands over his eyes.
“That’s for certain,” Castien replied in a dry tone. “But I don’t blame you. I know we’ve placed you in a difficult position.”
Finn bit his tongue so as to not call that a massive understatement. He’d already said far too much.
“However, I also know that you can do this.”
Light flooded Finn’s vision as he dropped his hands. He drew in a deep breath.
“I know you’ve said to focus on the present. That we have the rest of our lives to learn to like each other. But I am terrified of doing something now that will squander whatever happiness we could have.”
He worried that he might already have, though he did not say as much.
“The both of you are bound to make mistakes along the way, but that’s a part of every marriage, even the ones that were chosen instead of arranged,” Castien imparted.
It was difficult to accept Castien’s advice without holding a portion of bitterness toward him for giving it.
He was married to a woman who loved him with every breath she took.
They were perfect for one another. Finn sat in the front row and watched their romance unfold like a magnificent production.
Castien could not fathom what it was like to have this choice ripped away from him.
“You came to retrieve me, didn’t you?” Finn asked, shifting the subject.
Castien dipped his chin. “All the guests are in the ballroom. Lucianna is waiting in her chambers, so I’ve been told.”
Finn heard the beginnings of her wedding preparations earlier and fled his suite. He’d spent much of the morning split between the two places he’d been the night prior: the drawing room and the ceremonial gardens. His eyes drifted to the window.
“She would have stopped this,” Finn said, speaking of his mother. “Or at least tried.”
Castien huffed a laugh, not needing context for he knew Finn well. “I don’t know. She spoke of playing matchmaker more than once. Perhaps she would have enjoyed making you settle down.”
A smile pulled at the corner of Finn’s mouth even as immense sadness settled over him like a funeral shroud.
“I wish she were here,” he whispered. “She’d know what to do, what to say.”
Castien did not reply. Finn didn’t need him to. He just needed to get the words out. The ones he’d only whispered to his mother’s grave until now. Finn sucked in a breath and wiped at his watering eyes.
“Tides, I need to get it together,” he breathed with a laugh. “Though, perhaps if I’m crying, it will fool the attendees into thinking I’m overcome with emotion at the sight of my bride.”
“I don’t think anyone present is under the illusion that this is a love match,” Castien stated in his ever-straightforward manner. “But I do agree that it’s time to go, so do what you must to feel ready.”
Finn tried to calm his nerves as best he could, but his mind was stumbling over itself with hundreds of thoughts and questions. His gaze landed on the table where Castien had been writing notes the night before. There was a stack of blank parchment and an inkwell still there. An idea came to Finn.
“Bernadair, will you deliver a message to Lady Lucianna?”
“As you wish, my lord,” the butler replied. “Though I doubt she will have time to respond.”
“There’s no need for a response,” Finn said as he crossed the room to the writing desk.
He bent over the table and scrawled a quick letter to his future wife.
Lady Lucianna,
In a few moments, we shall be married. Given that I have not had a chance to properly court you, we have never kissed. If you would like our first kiss to take place at our wedding, squeeze my hand once at the altar. If not, do so twice.
Yours in matrimony,
Lord Finnick
Finn folded the letter, then gave it to Bernadair. The butler sped out of the room, understanding time was of the essence. Finn attempted to smooth his hair back in place, but he doubted it worked. If his father had something to say about it, so be it. Finn had greater problems to focus on today.
After a few more adjustments to his suit and signet ring, he nodded to Castien. They exited the drawing room and walked across the main hall to the ballroom doors. Castien signaled to the guards posted outside, and they let them in.
Finn blinked in surprise. The ballroom was far more elaborately adorned than he had anticipated.
Wooden chairs draped in white linen and accented with green sashes framed a long aisle.
The aisle itself was covered in a matching emerald silk and lined with swaths of fragrant white flowers.
Light streamed in from the massive windows on all sides.
As the crystal chandeliers were made unnecessary during the day, the servants had decorated them with more flowers and strips of ribbon.
The altar itself was on a raised platform reserved for the royal family to occupy.
Instead of the thrones usually present, it too was blanketed with florals and braided greenery.
Finn walked toward it, his feet heavy. Castien patted him on the shoulder, then took his place beside Finn. He would officiate the wedding.
Finn surveyed the crowd once he was in place.
His father sat in his commander’s uniform in the front row next to Marina.
Beside them were Aunt Alora, Uncle Theodus, and Wren.
On the opposite side, also in the front row, was Lucianna’s brother.
These were the main attendees, though some other advisors and high-ranking members of the military were present and seated further back.
In the far left corner of the room, a string quartet played a gentle tune. Finn would have found it pleasant and relaxing in any other circumstance. He did his best not to shift too much in place. It was important to appear strong and secure, even in front of so few guests.
After a painfully long wait, the doors at the back of the ballroom cracked open. The music changed to a more drawn-out, romantic melody. Finn clasped his hands behind his back and rolled his shoulders. He closed his eyes and took a long, slow breath.
When he opened them again, he saw his wife.