Chapter 13 #3
For the first time in years, he felt helpless.
Not because he could not fight. He could.
He would, the moment a target made itself available.
Not because he feared Raja. Fear required a smaller heart than his.
Not because the realms stood on the edge of war, though they did, and he would stand in the breach the way he always had.
He felt helpless because somewhere inside the strange resonance tied to the Nushtonia, he could feel something shifting between Myanin and Shade. Slow. Quiet. Steady. A tide he could not turn back with steel or strategy or the sheer, stubborn weight of how much he loved her.
And the worst part, the part that hollowed him out as the wind moved cold across his skin and the mist curled once more around his boots, was the terrible, quiet realization that whatever was waking between them had likely never fully died at all.
It had only been waiting. And the Nushtonia had given it the opportunity it needed.
“So the question is,” Peri said, her voice nonchalant, though her eyes were anything but, “what are we going to do about it?”
Gerick gave her a sharp look. “We?”
“Do you honestly think we’re going to let you bear this on your own? I mean, I realize that you males can be dense, but Gerick, I thought you’d been around us long enough to know that those we claim as ours are never alone. Never.”
“I don’t know that this is anything any of you can help me with,” he admitted.
Peri scoffed. “Pretty sure a blade to the heart of a certain over-stepping djinn would be of great help.”
Lilly spoke up before Gerick could. “That is not how my general operates, Perizada. He is not a wolf.”
“So you mean he’s not completely irrational when it comes to his mate?” Peri asked.
Lilly answered with a question of her own. “If Lucian found something, someone who his heart would not let him forget, someone that would bring him happiness and fulfillment, wouldn’t you want that for him?”
Peri tapped her chin, pretending to consider it. Then she held up one hand. “You’re speaking of another female, not like a new favorite kind of prey, or coffee?”
Gerick shook his head at the high fae. Great Luna bless her, she was nuts.
“That’s correct,” Lilly confirmed.
Peri glanced at her mate, who looked thoroughly amused.
“Sure, sure,” she nodded. “I’d let him go be with her. In a grave that I put them both in, alive, because obviously I don’t want to die. Then I’d make sure all the animals in the forest where I buried their sorry asses peed directly on their grave.”
“Diabolical female,” Lucian muttered. There was no heat in his voice. If anything, he looked downright smitten with her.
Gerick decided they were both a tad not right in the head.
“Ok,” Lilly sighed. “That was completely unhelpful.”
Peri shrugged. “You asked."
“I agree. That was totally my fault. I forgot how unreasonable you can be.”
“Gerick, what’s the verdict?” Peri asked, rubbing her hands together. “Pee on grave, or noble shit?”
The book pulsed against his back as if it had been listening.
Darkness, confusion, anger, want, longing, too many threads layered together for him to untangle who they belonged to.
That wasn’t entirely true. Occasionally one of them carried the unmistakable shape of Myanin, and just as quickly was gone again.
“I could never do anything to hurt my mate,” he said finally. “No matter what it cost me.”
“Damn noble, selfless turd. Are you sure you’re not part gypsy healer?” She narrowed her eyes at him as if she could see inside of him. “Because they’re the only ones that I know who would say some stupid crap like that.”
“Healers are only females,” Lucian reminded his mate.
She held up one hand to him. “Not the point.”
“Pretty sure it’s relevant to your question,” Lilly said dryly.
Lucian reached over and rested a hand on Gerick’s shoulder. The weight of it landed like an anchor. “Whatever you need, we’re here. Pack. For life.”
“I would like it noted that I do not agree.” Peri crossed her arms, indignation filling her eyes.
“While I have oddly grown feelings for the cotton candy loving nut job, mostly because she likes sharp objects and stabbing people, I might have to zap her if she makes a dumb choice.” She paused.
“Hell, she’s sort of known for making dumbass decisions.
That means I’ll be digging her a pee grave.
And right in the middle of the apocalypse.
You’d think she’d be a little more considerate of her bad timing.
” Then she threw her hands up. “Oh well, we do what we have to, when we have to.”
Gerick didn’t address the high fae’s commentary. He couldn’t. He was too caught in his own circling thoughts about what might or might not be happening inside the Nushtonia.
More than anything, he just wanted her to be okay.
To know she wasn’t suffering. To make sure she had cotton candy again, and got to see Tenia.
Maybe his bond with her wasn’t like the bond between mated wolves.
Maybe what he was carrying now wasn’t shaped the way a wolf’s grief was shaped.
He wasn’t sure that was a bad thing. It was a different kind of pain, that was all. A different kind of waiting.
And it wasn’t something he needed to dwell on. What he needed to focus on was getting her out of the book.
The rest could be dealt with after.