3. Cezar
3
CEZAR
S he’s the one. She’ll save the lost, lonely boys.
M’s voice echoed in my head, and I rubbed at the pain in my chest from hearing her voice. As annoying as it was to listen to the voices, M’s hurt the most, so she only talked to me when necessary.
Even without her interference, I knew Kazia Lee was somehow connected to my future. I could feel the call for her in my body as soon as our eyes connected, like lightning just zapped my heart and dick at the same time.
In our search for Margaret Jones, Nicu had seen a few addresses to stake out, and I got the one that this gorgeous wavy-haired goddess visited. She was so beautiful with her flowy, wild clothes in different shades of white, black, and gray. Seeing this bewitching and unruly aura covered in colorless, flat clothing was a contrast. It made me want to crack her head open and peel back the layers in her head one by one and find out what made her tick. Even the voices in my head were clamouring about, telling me repeatedly that she was special.
She’s hot. Your ass wouldn't know what to do with a woman like that. I rolled my eyes at his comment. “Shut up, Cal.” He was getting more and more annoying the older he got.
Just be kind to her, sweet boy. She won’t know anything about this world. Kindness is key.
“I will keep that in mind, Nan,” but I wasn't holding my breath. I always disappointed her, but it didn't matter because she would never leave me. None of them would. I’ve even tried to carve them out of my brain, and if my brothers hadn't stopped me, it might have worked… but then I would’ve been dead. Or so they say.
The past few nights, I noticed that no one was home at night, so I took the opportunity to search the home and try to find my objective, Margaret Jones. Where was Margaret? What was this gorgeous young woman doing here during the day?
While I was snooping around, I caught sight of a frame next to the master bedroom bed. It was the only picture in the whole house. That young woman in a cap and gown hugged the woman in the photo my father gave us. What was their connection?
Finding her increasingly intriguing, I waited until she returned to the house, but this time, she didn't come until it was dark and past bedtime. Good girls always had early bedtimes… so the monsters don't eat them at night. What was my good little confused goddess doing?
Taking out my phone, I took a picture of her plates and sent them to our guy in the States, telling him I needed all the info back pronto. I thought for a second and asked him to send the information only to me. What my brothers don’t know won’t hurt them.
The door creaked open, and I scurried like a little mouse out of sight. Watching as my dark-haired beauty cut across the grass to her car, clutching a full bag to her chest, determination sparkled in her eyes. She muttered to herself repeatedly as she got in her car and pulled out, raced down the road so fast I had to scramble to get back into my car.
Following her like she was sending out a bat signal just for me, I caught up but stayed a few cars behind. I didn't want her to get spooked. I would hate for her to pull into a dark alley to avoid me when there are all sorts of crazies out at night.
You’re one of those crazies, idiot. Cal’s voice made me chuckle.
“I'm only crazy on Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays. Today is Wednesday, my day of rest.” Making the sign of the cross, I cackled into the night air at my joke as Cal cursed me over and over again in my head.
When she parked at a cemetery, I knew we were a match made in hell. Why else would a woman come to a place full of dead people? It was obviously to find her soulmate. I was.
Throwing on the ground the Black and Mild I lit on the way here, Nan finally gave up on all the whining chatter she’d been doing since I lit the damn thing. I watched my dark, wild, confused beauty look around before she crawled over the fence and went on her merry way. Breaking and entering. The more I knew about this woman, the more I wanted her.
Like a wolf on a blood scent, I followed her, mimicking her movements to feel like we were doing this sneaking-in-a-cemetery thing together. It was like our first date. The weather was perfect, the moon was bright, and dead bodies were littered everywhere… It was perfect. Magical. The thing first dates were made of.
A buzz came from my pocket, and I pulled it out, covering my already dark screen as I scanned the information my guy had sent. Her name was Kazia Lee. She was twenty-four years old and just finished her undergraduate studies at the local university in psychology. I passed on all the other information since it looked boring, not wanting to waste another second not watching her.
She was now kneeling next to a headstone. Her bag dropped to the side as she talked to it. She was pulling things out of her bag and setting something up, and the voice in my head started talking again.
Wow, she’s hot and crazy! She’s way too much for you.
Hush, boy, she’s paying her respects. Nan’s tone was curt, and I could hear Cal scoff his reply.
That doesn't mean she's not crazy.
“Fuck off, Cal. I like crazy. It's my favorite brand of soap.” I know what Cal was doing. He wanted to scare me off her to have her all to himself, but that ain't happening. I was like a T-rex with a bone, stomping my way…. No, that's not right. Uh… maybe more like a monster truck! Yeah! A monster truck with a bone, crushing anything in my way of me and my bone having the ride of our lives. Nailed it!
Before I could shove that analogy down Cal’s throat, a soft breeze blew a bewitching tune. Following the tantalizing sound, my eyes fell onto my wild-haired goddess and her tear-stained face, singing her sorrow-filled serenade to the dead.
Everything inside of me stopped and froze. My lungs felt like they would burst as air did not enter them. My whole being was laser-focused on the woman before me, unable to tear my eyes away from the sound of her pain and grief. Never in my life have I felt so compelled to watch another human being and feel something for them. We were all just a bag of water, blood, and bones, and the only thing that made me feel anything was the pain in people's screams, the horror in their eyes, and the emptiness that was left behind when their souls left their bodies. I knew I was a monster, an anomaly that needed to be used as a tool and discarded once its use ran out, so I chose not to feel. It would make me a better tool, right?
So why did this woman's heart-wrenching voice make my soul want to reach out, to hug and comfort her? Why was I so fascinated by the pain-filled water drops that were being wasted on the filthy ground when I could be licking them off her face? Why did my fingers itch to weave themselves into that wild hair and pull her tight to tell her everything was okay?
Nothing was okay. Never was life okay… and that was okay… but I didn't like that for her.
Closing my eyes and shaking my head, I clutched at my chest. It felt like it was going to burst or collapse. I didn't quite understand any of this. Why was my body and mind reacting this way? I didn't like it.
Glancing up again, orange and red flames danced in front of her, the light causing her face to glow, and I felt this tug in the center of my chest. She was slowly but firmly reeling me in like a rope had been tied to it.
A familiar voice hummed in my head along with her song, almost like they shared something. Like a kinship. One where I was not in the know because I didn't grow up that way.
“What is happening?” My whisper went out into the air, floating around as I needed an answer from someone, anyone, as to why I was feeling this way, why, for the first time in my existence, I found something that made me think without bloodshed.
Her shaken voice grew stronger at the end,
We’ll travel through the twilight, within the sunlight’s gentle beam,
A Romani mother’s promise, to chase away your bad dreams.
Romani . Romani. I knew about them. That was why M hummed along with the song she was singing.
Before I realized it, I was in front of my wild songstress, playing with the fire as I asked her questions. At first, I just wanted to hear her voice, hear her words, and memorize the sounds coming from that sweet mouth, but the answers didn't matter much to me. I’d already made up my mind the moment I followed her here. This Romani was mine.
“Who is this woman to you?” My voice came out more curt than I wanted, but my blood was pulsating, consumed by thoughts of taking this woman and running away.
“My mother.”
Oh good. So she’s dead, so I won't have to deal with someone calling the cops or the FBI on me when I steal her. I think this was what the universe called kismet. We were like Romeo and Juliet. Mark Anthony and Cleopatra. Lovers of the century. I can’t have things like her family or the police getting in the way of that.
Remember what I told you. You need to be a good boy. Girls like boys who are sweet to them.
Nan was right. She’s just so thoughtful like that. Ask another question. Remember, sweet and kind.
“Then why do you have a different last name than this woman?”
When her eyes went wide and her body shook, I knew I fucking nailed it. Hells yeah! Who’s a pretty boy sweet talker now, Ion? I didn't need any lessons from anybody! Self fucking taught, smooth talker, bitch! I never do if you don't count the voices in my head.
I was crushing this wooing thing, and she felt the same way. I mean, she couldn't take her eyes off me. Sure. Her eyes occasionally darted around like she was looking for something, but they always returned to me with complete focus. Her smile was shaky because she was so nervous about our connection. It was cute.
Like my cute little bunny rabbit, this one was not for eating. No. No. This bunny was for loving and cuddling and stealing the warmth from her eyes to fill my dead soul.
Sticking my hand into my pocket, my fingers circled the syringe I always carried. You never knew when you needed to knock someone out, and with how jumpy my sexy Romani bunny was getting, I knew I needed to be the gentleman and calm her down just a bit. She was so lucky I always thought ahead.
“Was she all you had? Your only family?” I had to dot the I’s and cross the T’s. If she had more family, then we would need to invite them to things, and that would just cause problems with my family, so I would need to kill them all just to save us the hassle.
When she nodded, I again felt like God or the Devil were shining down on us, blessing us with this perfect union. This was my Romani bride, and everyone knew you had to steal your Romani bride for it to be real.
Slamming the syringe into her neck with skilled precision, I was glad that I’d had all that practice in my youth. Wasting all the unsure and painful injections on other bodies to make sure this was as smooth and painless as possible. I didn't want my wild-haired bride to feel any pain. I wanted her to be as happy as any captured soulmate finding its other half, swooning in my arms like a normal person. Smiling down at her, I promise, “From now on, it will only be happy thoughts because we are family now.” This act was my eternal vow. She was going to be with me forever and ever.
She and my brothers.
Oh shit . I would have to explain this to Nicu, but he's like a grumpy old cat that swipes at you for no reason. Seeing his frowny face, surrounded by his fancy cars and sparkly things, it was more like he was a grumpy old dragon. Hoarder of the shiny useless things. Oooorrr … he was a cat-dragon that was thousands of years old and didn't know how to live life anymore. Yep. Nailed it!
“What the fuck did you do?!”
Shifting her limp body over to my other shoulder, I happily answered my oldest brother's ire. “Honey. I'm home!”
Ion popped off the couch, eyes wide as I blew past him to the extra room. I wanted her to be comfortable when she woke up to her new life.
Both brothers were hot on my heels, following me into her new room. Ion's gaze kept bouncing from her to Nicu like he was wondering what kind of shit storm this was going to start, but it didn't matter. She was staying, and that was final. I said so, cat-dragon be damned.
“Cezar,” Nicu’s voice vibrated with fury behind that clenched jaw and perfect teeth. I wonder if my Roma liked nice teeth? Running my tongue over my teeth, I counted them as Nicu continued. “This does not look like Margaret Jones. Explain.”
Dude, they're not going to get it, and they’re going to ruin this for us! Your brothers think you're crazy.
“Well, I don't think they're wrong,” I grumbled back to Cal as I moved past my brothers and out of her room so we didn't disturb her. She needed her sleep. Her world was going to be different when she woke up. How did you take care of a woman? Clothes, food, water?
Yes. Special water. Soothing water. That’s what my woman needed.
Making a beeline for the kitchen, their footsteps echoed behind me. Rolling my eyes, I could feel their tension coming at me like missiles, but it was useless. They needed to chillax. They may need to watch a movie, sing a song, take their mind off some things.
Opening my mouth to throw out the suggestions, I was all thrown off when a set of hands grabbed me, turning me around to face their wrath. Nicu closed his eyes and took a deep breath, squeezing my shoulders. If he wanted to give me a massage, all he had to do was ask.
“Cezar, I need you to explain who that girl is and why she’s here?”
He’s trying so hard for me that it almost made me feel something, but then my mind replayed her song in my head, and my heart thumped like a wild beast, and my soul surged forward. She was the only person on this planet that got a reaction like that out of me. I needed her.
Your brothers are just going to kill her. They’re idiots. Ruthless idiots like your father.
Nan’s words awoke a savage beast inside. The words tore out of me, “No, they're not!” My whole body shook as red-hot fury filled my veins. “None of us are anything like him!” Never. Never would we be like him. Never would I do the things that he’s done. I would never let my brothers turn into him. I would kill them first.
With my head pounding, heaving in and out, I looked up to see Nicu’s face flash with concern, but it only took a second before that concern disappeared and the family heir took over. His eyes narrowed into slits, and my blood turned into ice, reminding me of my place in this world. Oh no. It looked like Big Brother was coming out to play.
His fingers dug into my shoulder like he was carving his way to my bones, but I was no stranger to pain, and I grinned. “Cezar. Fucking concentrate and quit talking to the voices. I need to know who the fuck that girl is and where Margaret Jones is?!”
Screaming that last part, the smell of sickly sweet desperation circled the air around him, such a familiar scent that if I closed my eyes, I would be transported back to my dungeon. The only place I consider home.
“Dead. Margaret Jones is dead.”
His grip loosened, his hands falling to his sides as his breathing kicked up a notch and his eyes shifted from side to side. I knew he was going down the big bro rabbit hole, worrying about our father and his demands, but what could we do…she’s dead.
“You didn't kill her, right?”
Swinging my head around, I faced Ion and his accusatory tone. “No, asshole. I'm crazy, not dumb.”
He lifted a brow at me and folded his arms across his chest. Is this dick doubting me? The muscles in my arm started to twitch, wanting to land a solid blow right in his pretty boy face.
When Nicu faced me, hesitation and questions circling his eyes, I threw up my hands. “I was at her grave! I saw the headstone!”
“Did you dig it up to make sure it was her?”
Something about Nicu’s easy tone pissed me off. Sometimes, it burned my blood, being the youngest and the one they questioned the most. Cezar, why did you sever that guy's head? We needed him to talk. Cezar, why do you act before you think it through? Cezar, can you just act like a normal person for once?
Rolling my neck, I growled, “I didn't need to. I saw her daughter mourning at her grave.”
Oh, Cez, honey, you shouldn’t have said that.
Following Nan’s words, I straightened up, flicking my eyes to both brothers, who were now glaring at me.
Ion couldn't keep it in, jabbing a finger toward her door as he yelled, “Don’t fucking tell me that the woman you just brought here is our target's daughter?!”
Shrugging my shoulders, tongue in cheek, I responded, “And what if she is?”
He threw up his arms, cursing like he was trying to say everything he knew. Nicu stepped forward, his voice low and menacing, which meant I somehow fucked up, but I still couldn't figure out how.
“You fucking pick her up and take her back to whatever shit hole you found her in. She is not the target.”
He turned away, done with me, but the voices in my head and my pounding chest disagreed, and I was going to side with them today. “No.”
Nicu turned slowly, death in his eyes as his whole body shuddered. Getting ready for his wrath, I squared my shoulders, staring him in the eyes, letting him know I was not backing down and would take a beating for her. I was willing to do a whole lot for that woman just based on this feeling inside of me.
Ion’s shaky voice came between us as he patted us on the back. “Brothers. We don’t need to fight. Please. Cezar, you did a good job knocking her out, so it wouldn't be a big deal to put her back. Then we don't have to think about this incident again, huh? What do you both say?”
“No,” I repeated. Ion scowled at me, but I wouldn't let this go. I did everything for my brothers. Whatever dirty, horrible job they wanted me to do, I did, no questions. All I did was follow their orders day in and day out with no hesitation.
This woman, Kazia Lee, was my destiny. I could feel it. There was something about us written in the stars, and I was not about to let my brothers ruin it for me. No. That was not happening. I was a fucking Azadian too, and I deserved some respect.
“Cezar,” Nicu started, but I wouldn’t have any.
A tidal wave of rage took over, rolling through my body. With the flick of my fingers, a glint of silver flashed, and my switchblade was at his throat. I clenched my teeth so hard the little angry men inside me were hammering at them, trying to make them shatter. “I. Am. Keeping. Her.”
Staring into the black vortex of Nicu’s eyes, I wanted to plead with him. To tell my big brother to do this for me, for once, put me first instead of the family, instead of himself, but that wasn't how this family operated. The only thing that mattered was strength, brute force, slick words, and bloody battles. Survival of the ruthless, and I wasn't giving her up. I refused to, even if it meant harming my brother.
Zar, stay strong . M’s voice shook me. It always felt like a heavy anvil clocked me in the head whenever I heard M, but this time, her words gave me resolve, my hesitation erased as my hand tightened on the blade.
After a beat, Nicu didn't move or take it any further. Only staring back at me. I was taking that as he was finally taking me seriously. Flicking my wrist, the knife sliced away from his neck and back in its sheath.
Ants crawled up the back of my legs, propelling me to move. Shoving both of them out of my way, I went to her room to watch her sleep, maybe finally feel at peace. At this point, it was two against one, so I needed to sleep with one eye open.
Reaching the door, a predictably heavy sigh followed. Nicu’s voice rang out, choking me with the finality of its tone. “You’ll need to chain her up. I’m not having some random woman in this house roaming free. Do. You. Understand?”
“Fine,” flicking my hand in the air. I would do what he said, for now. He was my big brother, after all. Like a crab had my heart in its claw, it squeezed, reminding me I was putting a line in the sand with them—something I’d never done.
Pushing that all aside, like all the other feelings I don't like to deal with, I focused on my gorgeous catch of the day. They couldn't understand that chains didn't matter. They couldn’t keep my Roma and me apart. They would learn.