10. Cezar
10
CEZAR
I can't help but stare at my Romani beauty lying beside me in awe. This was the first time in my life that sleep wasn’t interrupted or plagued with nightmares or remembrances of the past. My head didn't feel like an overcrowded room filled with people who all wanted to be heard over my voice. Able to think with only one solid consciousness, and while it was a nice reprieve, it also felt… unnatural.
Taking a deep breath, relishing in the freedom to think and not be interrupted, not having someone else banging around to be heard. A sense of stillness settled over me, like I was a praying mantis on its leaf, barely moving around, just taking in the world around it. That is until my lady praying mantis takes my head off, but that's okay. Gently smoothing a wild strand behind her ear, I thought I wouldn't mind if she took off my head and ate it. It would be the sweetest ending to this miserable existence. A bonus would be that I could be a part of her forever. That sounded nice. What a pretty way to go.
Daydreaming about what it would be like to be inside her like that, her sweet lips parted, mumbling sweet nothings to me in her sleep.
“Asshole dove…”
Well, that's new. I’ve never been called a dove. Her eyes pinched, her nose screwed up in the cutest of ways.
“Wait… wait for me…”
Scooting closer, I whispered, “Don’t worry, I’ll never leave you.” It brought my mind back to the lady praying mantis scenario, solidifying that this was the best way to ensure I would keep my promise.
She shivered, her whole body starting to shake. Her face twisted up, this time not in agitation but in fear. I didn't like that look on her face. It reminded me of a little boy left in that shipping container, alone but never alone again. It was the last time that boy let himself feel bone-chilling fear. After that night, even death didn’t scare him, but I didn't want that for my alluring Roma. She never needed to feel that way while I was alive.
“Dangerous… no… please…”
Her whimper at the end got me, sliced me right through the chest, and made me bleed. Maybe I put too much sedative in her water? It was just something to help her sleep and to keep my brother off my back, but seeing her now, guilt chomped away at my brain. I needed to do something. My heart couldn't take this kind of distress anymore. She was this small ray of light I needed to keep safe for us. She still had so much work to do.
An idea cracked my brain, my eyes zeroing in on her plump, rosy lips. She snapped me out of a frenzy by doing that, so why wouldn't it work in this case?
Swiping my tongue along my lips, I tried not to salivate like a predator about to catch its prey, but I couldn't help myself. She was lying there looking so vulnerable and tasty. Never has a woman tempted me, especially not after my first time; I just thought it was a waste of time to find other ways to get that release, but when her lips touched mine, bringing that soothing balm to the insanity inside, I was hooked. I wanted more.
Plus, I’m helping her like she helped me. We already established that it was an acceptable form of communication.
Lifting her chin, keeping my touch light, only guiding her lips to face mine. I reminded myself that this needed to be soft and gentle, something to calm those worries and let her know she was protected .
As soon as my lips grazed hers, her soft, sweet smell filled my lungs, and I moaned in my head. My whole body clenched, coiling up tight like a snake getting ready to strike, but I reminded myself. Slow. Take this slow.
Increasing the pressure, I moved my body to be flush against hers, needing to touch her in more ways than one.
She took in a sharp breath, and I took advantage, moving my hand to the back of her head and swiping my tongue along her bottom lip. Her silky, wild strands tangled between my fingers, further connecting us, but I wanted more.
I knew the moment that she had awakened because her body froze, and I could feel her gaze on me, so I opened my eyes and stared right back. I wanted her to know it was me, and I knew what I was doing when, in reality, it was a combination of what she taught me before and my wants blending.
She still hadn’t moved or given anything back, and I wanted that more than I knew. Thinking back to what she did for me, I remember being in her arms, almost enveloped by her. Maybe that was the way to do it.
Taking my other arm, I let my fingers drift under her shirt, sliding under her to be able to wrap my arms around her. She instantly moved, allowing my hand room to move, and I smiled against her lips.
I wanted to be close, not let a breath pass between us, so she didn’t have the opportunity for those fearful thoughts to return. I dove back in, my mouth completely taking over hers as my tongue slid between those lips, my hand in her hair gripping her, while the other hand ran up her back, forcing our bodies together so we could feel all of each other.
Her eyes fluttered, a soft moan escaped from her, and it was like the pop pop of fireworks went off in every cell of my body. With my hand on her back, her shiver ran straight through me, vibrating in my fingertips like an aftershock. No one has ever reacted to me like this, my touch causing her pleasure.
If I ever felt a shiver, it was in fear or disgust. If they moaned, it was a plea to stop, not to keep going. Something about this shifted something inside me, flipping my mind on its head. My cock hardened not because of the pain I inflicted, but because of the pleasure. It was intoxicating.
“Ce-cezar?” Her lips called my name against mine, and that sleepy raspiness made the spiders in my stomach crawl again.
Looking down, I could see that I got quite carried away and was practically on top of her. Her hands poised at my shoulders, ready to shove me off, but she hesitated, calling my name out instead.
Lifting my head just an inch, giving her a little breathing room, I gave the best explanation possible. “You were upset, and I was helping.”
Those magical, honey-soaked eyes searched mine, looking for something I was sure I couldn't give, but when I ran my hand up between her thighs, and lust began to flood them, I knew I didn't need to have what she was looking for. I just needed to make her forget what she wanted and show her what she needed, which was me. I would make sure of it.
Letting go of the grip on her hair, I shifted, skimming my fingers down the front of her body. Her exhales grew shorter, eyes tracking my hand to see what I would do as she mumbled, “Fucking Stockholm syndrome.”
My lips tipped up. Say whatever you need to make yourself feel better , but I didn't say that. I was crazy, not stupid, and with the voices being so quiet when I touched her, I had extra brain power.
Running my nose up the column of her neck, the smell of her skin searing into my core memories. I couldn't help kissing her collarbone before I nipped at her with my teeth, her body twitching underneath me. “You've had a hard day.”
She puffed out a humorless laugh, rolling her eyes when my fingers slipped under her waistband, and she let out a soft hiss. Ion's words floated through my head, the ones he said as he was bragging to some guys a while back.
All you gotta do is take it slow. Track her reactions as you touch her and keep doing it. Then bang the shit out of her. It's not hard .
Glad to realize I finally had a use for my fuckboy brother, I took his advice. Keeping my eyes on her, I pushed further, parting her thighs to find her hot, wet center. She made these cute mewing noises as I explored her, finding it fascinating how much she enjoyed it when I rubbed at her clit.
I knew about the logistics of a woman's body, the names of the parts, and the anatomy, but I didn't have any knowledge about how to please it. But I was sure I could learn how to please it if I was as attentive as I was when I dismembered them. It wasn't my only interaction with a woman. It happened once, when I was sixteen… with a prostitute… in front of my father. It was something neither the woman nor I enjoyed since she was at gunpoint. I told her just to fake it so we could get it over with, but he shot her just the same, telling me he didn't want anyone to snitch about his son not performing his best. Right, like that was my problem.
My lack of experience and drive to make this woman before I enjoy herself pushed me to try to remember whatever Ion said about women. I always tried to tune him out, thinking about my next target or what new toys I should make for my dungeon sessions, but I couldn't help but notice that the woman always seemed pleased with him, wanting more of his time. He never slept with a woman twice, saying it was old news, but it never stopped them from trying. That had to mean that he knew what he was doing, right? I wanted her to enjoy herself so she would want to stay.
Taking it one step at a time, I tested her body, touching and doing things to watch her reactions. It was fascinating to see her bite her lip when I rubbed her clit slowly at first and then picked up the pace. She would take long, hard, angry breaths when I paused and short, quick ones when I sunk two fingers inside her instead of one.
The air in the room grew thick, and my breathing picked up like I was at a soft jogging pace when all I did was watch her. Switching it up, I kept my thumb on her clit as my two fingers pumped in and out of her. Her head slammed back into the pillow, a soft moan broke free from her clenched lips, and all I saw was a goddess in front of me.
I couldn't take it anymore. My cock hard against her thigh. The heat of lust filled my veins, making it unbearable not to have her closer to me. I wanted her on me. I wanted to surround her, to make her only feel me in this moment.
When she cracked those amber eyes open, filled with a hunger and want that was directed toward me, I lost it.
“More. I want more.”
Her eyes flashed with fear, but I didn't have time for that. Sliding down her body, I tore those billowy pants off her gorgeous toned legs, doing a double take as I wished for a second I could lick my way up them to just have a taste of her.
“W-what a-are you t-thinking?”
Her unsure voice caused those spiders to roam my chest again, but this time they also moved down to my dick. “Just thinking about how I’ve never wanted something like this.”
Her eyes turned into saucers, her mouth opening slightly like she would say something, but now was not the time for words, at least not hers. I wanted more of those noises she had started to make.
Scooping her up in my arms, she squealed, clutching at me like I was going to drop her, but that was the furthest thing from my mind. No. I wanted us even closer.
Sitting with my back to the headboard, settling her between my legs, my length settled between her cheeks, and I almost sighed at the feeling. Catching her earlobe between my teeth, gliding both hands down her stomach and towards my new favorite spot.
“You see,” growling in her ear, yanking her legs apart to have her hot center on full display, the cool air hitting her. “I wanted to hear those sounds. Feel your body. But also—” I ran my tongue along her artery and felt her breath hitch. My smile curved into her hair, inhaling her scent. “I want to see what you’ll do when I do this.”
Dipping my hand back into her sticky center, I lifted her top, taking a handful of her breast, and she moaned. Getting more bold and confident in my musings, I flicked at her pebbled nipple. Her noises got louder, and I took it even further. Nibbling on her neck, enjoying her back bowing when I flicked both her nipple and clit at the same time with the same pressure.
“Fuck,” she cried breathlessly. “Did the voices tell you my weaknesses?”
Chucking into her neck, I plunged three fingers into her wet heat, fucking her faster as I whispered, “No. The voices don't talk when I touch you.” Pulling my hand away, she panted hard and angrily when I lifted the wet, sticky fingers to my mouth. Her taste was something out of this world. It was made of dreams, magic, and seduction. I was an addict as soon as her seductive eagerness hit my tongue.
Pulling my fingers away, I looked down at her, about to give her a smug look of satisfaction when she pushed her body up, grabbing the back of my head as she slammed her lips onto mine, licking the inside of my mouth like it was a spoon covered in chocolate sauce. Her moans egged me on, telling me she wanted more without words.
Grabbing her head, keeping our mouths locked, my other hand went back down, rubbing her clit with my thumb, but this time I shoved three fingers into her, pumping them just as fast as I rubbed her clit.
She tried to break away, to breathe, but I didn't let her. I swallowed down those moans, snatching them up because they were mine. Her moans turned louder, vibrating down my throat, but I kept my pace. Her thighs were shaking. Her body wound up so tight I had to hold on to her to make sure she didn't break.
Tearing her mouth from mine, she cried out, “I'm coming! I’m coming!” Slamming her head back into my shoulder, I buried my face into her neck, sucking on her neck hard enough to make a mark.
Her cries were delicious, bouncing around the room as she clenched down on my fingers. Grinding my teeth, I kept my moan down, pressing my face into her neck for salvation as I made a sticky mess in my pants.
Like the universe wanted to prove we were meant to be, her head snapped up, body frozen in time as her strangled moan burned into my soul, gushing around my fingers. Strings of magic felt like they were weaving around us, connecting our fates, but I didn't let that distract me as I kept pumping my fingers, getting every last drop she had to give. I want all of it.
Not stopping until her body slumped onto mine, she panted softly between each word, “You got it. You got it all.” Did I say my thoughts out loud?
Exhaustion hit me; my job was done, and I tipped my head back. With my arm wrapped around her waist, her soft pants working hard to calm down her body, I realized I'd never felt this kind of peace, even with my pants and mess from coming to just the sounds she made.
The voices were quiet, my soulmate was in my arms, and for the first time in my life, I didn't need pain to come.
So this was how the other half lived. I think I like it.