20. Ion
20
ION
“ S top staring at her. Nan says it's creepy,” Cezar called out from across the wall from me, but I ignored it. I was too caught up hearing her soft, cute snores, gazing at her supple rosy lip and beating down the clawing need to kiss her.
Kazia Lee was someone I never would've looked at twice. She was strong and confident; she had morals and kept to them. A warmth filled my chest, something that went cold and dead a long time ago. She was all the things that were not easy to manipulate, and maybe that's why I craved her attention. So much so, I would sell my soul for.
Or, I guess, give her oral as my brother fucked her. Fucking hell. What the fuck was I thinking?
As soon as I opened the door and heard her beg Cezar to fuck her, I knew I was a goner. My feet wouldn't move, like cement weighted them down in place, but my hand had no problem moving to close the door with me inside. Fucking Cezar ! I should've known something was up when he texted me.
“Oh, stop being so moody.” He swung around a teal butt plug with a red jewel between his fingers. “You killed like… three birds with one bar of chocolate.”
Pushing myself up, I climbed out of bed as careful as possible, glancing at Kazia to make sure I didn’t wake her before walking past him to the bathroom. He was such an asshole. He's not letting me enjoy any of this with his insistent chatter. I closed the door for some sanity, but remembered was dealing with Cezar, and sanity was impossible.
His hand smacked the door before it could close, and he leaned against the doorway. “Did you not know this was bonding time?”
Peeking over his shoulder, making sure she hadn't woken up, I fisted the front of his shirt, getting in his giddy face, threatening in a hushed tone. “Shut. The. Fuck. Up.” His teeth were now on display, not taking me seriously, so I shoved him up against the doorway. “If you wake her up, I'm going to slice you up so bad all those pretty tattoos will be ruined.”
His mouth dropped, throwing a hand to his chest, exaggerating in a low voice. “Brother! You think I'm pretty?!”
Snarling at myself for being drawn into his psycho orbit, I let go of him as fast as I could and went to turn on the shower. Why did I forget? The best way to deal with Cezar was not to engage at all…he just had a knack for getting under my skin.
Yanking open the shower door, I turned it on. “I mean, you got to pay your penance in full,” my hand paused underneath the warm water. “You gotta see her shine as she came,” his jovial voice turned smug, a cruel edge to it. “And you got to have your deepest desires filled. I think I'm owed a thank you.”
The glass door creaked as my fingers curled, gripping down hard, telling myself not to engage with him. How the fuck did he know that? How the fuck did he know something I didn't even know?
“Hey,” I glanced back at him, his hands in the air like he was an innocent bystander. “I was just following what Cal said. That fucker is a pervert, but damn, did getting this baby come in handy.” Lifting the butt plug, he went to the sink and cleaned it off. “I mean, after I got over threatening to bash my brain in so he could never think of her again, he convinced me it would speed things up, and bam!” His wet hand clapped so loud that a sleepy noise came from the other room.
I glared at him and he shhhh'd me, “You better keep it down. My Roma is sleeping, and she has a wound on her shoulder, remember?.”
He…. he was the one…. Letting go of the door, I closed my eyes and took a breath, feeling that building rage simmer. Surprised by how fast I was able to do that, I looked down at my hands and realized they weren't shaking. Taking a mental catalog, I realized my body didn’t feel as sluggish as I had been and I was able to control my emotions a little bit better. The only thing I could think of was that I got out of the detox phase.
In fact, I hadn’t thought about blow since she got shot. My mind was so consumed with the shooting and then about her getting better. Sure, I glanced at her pain drugs once or twice, but with Nicu and Cezar right there I quickly let those thoughts go. Now we were heading back home.
Home. A familiar dread filled me, thoughts of going back there, horrors resurfacing. All of it made my skin itch, and the demon rose up in the back of my mind. We can text someone, have them leave some blow in the bathroom at the airport and you can feel so much better. Not let any of that shit affect you. You could protect Kazia better.
Maybe I could–, No! Clenching my fist so hard I thought I would burst a muscle. I took a few breaths, reminding myself that I was not going down that road again. Picturing Kazia’s disappointed face, turning away from me, leaving me. A pounding came from my chest, one that physically hurt, and I knew I couldn't do that. I needed to stay clean, stay sharp in order to help Kazia with our father.
Taking a deep breath, I turned to see Cezar drying his hands and the toy off with a towel. He gave me a knowing smile, patting me on the shoulder, and I immediately hated it.
“You did good, Ion. I officially accept you as second husband.” Turning on his heels, he waved at me, tutting out, “And remember to read the handbook. All violations will come with punishments by me. It's my right, as first husband. I gotta keep the rest of you in line with a firm hand. Don’t want my Roma to sully those perfect hands of hers.”
He shut the door behind him, leaving me in a stupor. Husband? First? Did Kazia know about this? Why did the word ‘first’ bother me more than husband?
Moving back to the shower, I unbuttoned my pants when I saw the wet spot I made. A flash of her breasts rubbing up against me, her hair going wild as she bounced from Cezar fucking her. Her face flushed, her hands gripping my thighs, her labored moans still echoed in my ear.
My cock tightened, and I looked down to see I was already half-hard again. Fuck. I was going to need to rub one out. Do you know how long it's been since I had to do that… with my own hand? It was almost preposterous, but there was no way in hell I was going to sit across from Nicu with my cock in full salute.
Peeling off the sticky fabric, I stepped under the scalding hot water. Scrubbing my face, I realized I'd never delved into that kind of play before. I've dabbled in various kinds of kinks: denial, pain play, dom/brat scenes, praise, and cuckold…. I've even done degradation before…but never had it done to me. Never let a woman have that kind of control over me.
Scratching my head, I tried to make sense of it. Maybe it was because I felt like I owed her, that I knew I stepped over the line that night and wanted to give her control over me. A kind of penance.
I don't think penance should feel so fucking good .
When she pleaded with me, asking me to come to her, my whole body grew stiff, unable to move. Women have always been like that with me. Pleading, begging, hoping. I hated it. I couldn't remember a single one of their faces, not wanting to remember, just there to do a job. To collect secrets and gather intel. It was easy when they were crying and writhing underneath me. Just a job.
What we just did was anything but a job, and I wanted more.
As I stood there, drinking in her body on display, I remember thinking to myself that I didn't deserve her. Couldn’t touch her. Not with these vile, dirty hands.
Then she commanded me to go to the bed, called me a fuckboy, made me feel seen. I couldn't move fast enough.
Closing my eyes, feeling the burning wet trails travel down my body, and I couldn't get her image out of my head. Those small, delicate hands gripping my hair so hard my scalp seared, her creamy thighs enveloping me, the slightly sweet smell of her arousal filling my lungs.
My fingers drifted down my body, fisting my hard cock, pumping up and down furiously. She was already so wet when she sat on my face, practically dripping, and when I ran my tounge around my mouth, I could still taste her. Grunting out, I reveled in her rough treatment, fucking my face as she used me to get off, practically suffocating me with her juices.
Pumping myself in time with my memory, a deep moan fell from my lips. Take off your shirt and lay on your back like a good little fuckboy. Her words bounced around in my head, causing my balls to tighten as my hip thrusted vigorously. I couldn't get enough of her, or her strong, commanding voice in my memory. I just needed a little more, just a little fucking more.
I'm going to use you, fuckboy. I'm going to use your mouth and face to get off, like my own personal toy .
“Oh Fuck! Fuck!” My body clenched up, pleasure surging every cell like a live wire. Shivers run up and down my body before cum shoots out, hitting the wall of the shower.
Slumping forward, the cool tile helped calm me down. I think this woman ruined me in the best of ways, and now, I didn't want to let her go. Was I capable of holding on to her? Of being worth her?
I was an Azadian. Crushing that doubt like the insignificant thought it was. I could do anything if I wanted. Even if I had to go against my father to do it.
“Is she sleeping?”
Nicu kept his head down, tapping away at his tablet as I made my way back to my seat. My older brother gave nothing away, body relaxed, voice level with no inflection, but when his tapping paused after the question, I couldn't help but smile. I guess he wasn't as unaffected as he seemed.
“Ya, she's knocked out for a good little bit.” Crashing into my seat, resting my head back, I closed my eyes. Maybe I could finally rest.
“You good?”
My eyes snapped open, looking at him as he kept tapping away on his tablet, but I could feel his attention on me all the same. Was he asking in general or about… “Ya.” I shrugged it off like it was nothing. He put the device down, looking up at me with a raised brow, and I knew what he was referring to and wasn’t going to let it go. Looking away from him, embarrassed by my weakness which was now so obvious, I mumbled, “I’m fine. Sleeping through the night without the pills anymore.”
He gave me a single nod before moving on. “Since that’s taken care of, let's talk about what’s going on back home.”
What the fuck is it now? Turning my chair towards him, leaning forward on my knees, I gave him my full attention. His lips pulled into his no-nonsense thin line and his back up straight as a nail, everything about him was under control, which ment other things weren’t. Fucking Hell.
“Oooohhhh, are the worms coming up for air since the doves are away?” Glancing to my right, Cezar sat across the plane from us, facing Kazia's chair, staring at it like a lost puppy.
Doves? I mouthed to Nicu, who shook his head, not wanting to figure out what the hell was going on in Cezar’s head.
“It seems so.” Nicu nodded, tapping onto something before turning it around to show me a video of one of our weapons warehouses. He pressed play and everything was fine until a loud boom sounded. “ Fire! Fire!” Someone yelled; people ran around trying to put the fire out when a group of men all dressed in black, masks covering their faces with AKs in hand, descended upon them, gunning them all down.
Sitting back, I thought about who we were currently dealing with as enemies. I mean, we were always fighting with the Shadow Kings. They seemed like cockroaches, unable to exterminate them permanently, but they were just a local gang vying for power. They wouldn't have access to the gear that those men in the video had.
Could it be the Russians from Moscow? I’ve heard whispers of them wanting to take back territory they had back in the day, but they would need to take over the Georgian territory first, which was unlikely. We’re the drug supply for the Kutaisi clan in Georgia and covered our ass with being the weapons dealer for the Vipers in Turkey, so coming for us would be more work then its worth for them.
“I think it's the Hovsepian and Zakarians.”
I did a double take before I furiously shook my head as Nicu’s theory. “What? Why would they even do that? We’ve had a treaty for over forty years?!” When Armenia split from the soviet union, the KGB left, leaving a hole that several powerful families wanted to fill. It was a bloodbath. Thousands of people died in that first year in the fight for power. Three families ended up on top. The Azadians, the Hovsepains, and the Zakarians. All three were powerful in different ways.
The Azadians had strength and muscle. We also have connections to military-grade weapons. The Hovsepains were known for their poisons and stealth. They had the most skilled assassins, so in a game of war, one of their assassins was like twenty soldiers. Then there were the Zakarians. They were smart, too smart, and always tricked their way out of bad situations or into good ones. Eventually we grew tired of the bloodshed, deciding under a treaty to split the country into different territories: North, Central the tension between us sizzled, and I had to grab the armchair to keep myself in my seat. She switched to looking at Nicu, who leaned forward to stare at her. She held out for a few seconds, playing with her fingers in her lap, before looking in the direction Cezar went. When did he become the safe option?
“So…” she started, looking in her lap before taking a breath and looking up at us. “What should I expect when we land?” It was a good question, one that I would let Nicu answer since he got regular updates.
“We’ll get off the plane and have a car waiting for us, which will take us to our family estate.” Nicu kept his tone steady and crisp, but for once, I heard an edge to it. A worry. “Then, from there, it all depends. He could have you taken to the dungeons, he could slice your throat right then and there, he could put you in a room and plan what to do with you later.”
Her face turned pale as she nodded, and I wanted to punch him in his stupid face. I went to tell her we would not let that happen when Cezar walked in smiling with a tray of food. Turning his face to glare at Nicu, his warning clear as day, before turning back to her and smiling wide.
“Don’t listen to that manic and his babbling.”
Nicu’s eyes darkened, his hands clenched, not one to take disrespect well, but Cezar kept going, setting the tray in front of her.
“While I’ll admit number 1 or number 3 might happen,” he sat down, his lips turned down as he stared at Nicu. “Number 2 won’t happen. I can assure you.”
Nicu and Cezar stayed that way for what felt like forever, having their internal eye battle the rest of us weren’t a part of. Kazia picked up a french fry, nibbling on it as her gaze bounced from Nicu to Cezar.
When it seemed like there was no end in sight, she threw down her fifth fry and waved a hand at them. “Alright, alright. I get it. I’ve been warned,” her attention on Nicu had him look at her, and she nodded to him. “I also believe you.” Her hand went out to clutch Cezar’s, and his face melted. What a sucker. And why can’t I stop looking at their hands together?
The captain's voice came overhead, speaking in Armenian. “We have started our descent and will land shortly. Please buckle in and thank you for letting me serve you today.” The three of us buckled as Kazia looked around, catching on to what was going on, and grabbed her sandwich, taking bites out of it like it was her last meal, and that… irritated me.
The landing was smooth, and just like Nicu said, a car was waiting for us. The driver opened the door, and Nicu was the first to climb in, holding out his hand to Kazia to help her in when the driver put his hand on her shoulder, and a syringe was headed for her neck.
Cezar grabbed his hand, slamming it into the door, as he growled in Armenian, “What the fuck do you think you're doing?”
The driver didn’t balk, just calmly responded. “Orders from the head. The woman was to be sedated before leaving the airport.”
Cezar growled in his face, his body primed to do some damage when Nicu asked Kazia in English. “We need to sedate you before we leave.”
They stared at each other, words being spoken that I didn't understand, and she nodded slowly. “Fine, but Cezar can do it.”
Cezar wrestled the syringe from the driver, shoving him onto the ground, kicking him in the stomach before smoothing out his hair and facing Kazia, smiling like he won the lottery. Cupped the back of her neck, he whispered along her neck, “Thank you. You know I can’t stand it if anyone else tries to touch you.”
She took a breath and closed her eyes, waiting for her fate. His lips brushed up against her skin and she sucked in a breath; then he bit her, and her eyes flew open as she gasped. The fucker timed it perfectly, sinking in the needle as she was preoccupied.
Her eyes fell with her body, Cezar’s arms already around her as he kissed her neck again. “I got you, my Roma.”
Nicu glared at Cezar, eyes flicking to the driver before he held out his hands to help bring her limp body into the car. Once we were all in, Nicu called to the driver, “Give me your phone.”
The driver hesitated, and Nicu’s face fell, his voice going deadly. “Did you not hear me?” The driver looked around the car before reaching into his pocket, handing the phone through the partition.
“Now you can go.” Nicu glared at the driver as he raised the partition and locked it, facing Cezar. “That was very stupid.”
Cezar sat on the long side of the car, Kazia’s head in his lap as he moved her shoulder into a more comfortable spot. At Nicu’s words he clutched at her like an animal against another predator. “I don't care. I wasn't about to have that filthy dog touch her.”
“And now I have to take care of him before he reports this to father.” Nicu sighed like he was aging by the minute as he tapped away on his phone.
We were quite a bit away from the airport, and before long, my leg started to bounce, picking at the skin around my nails as I thought about that dark, depressing house and the monster who ruled it.
As soon as I had money, I made sure to buy a condo in the city that I mainly lived at to escape that house and old memories. My eyes kept going to the bar inside the limo, wanting to take off the edge with a drink, but after what happened with Kazia that night, I reminded myself that I quit that shit. I never wanted to make a mistake like that again.
In that moment, as she looked up and asked me why, pure fear pelted me. My stomach clenched, bile rose in my throat as I realized I was doing what my father did, that I was become the rapist that my mother detested with all of her body and soul. That next morning I told myself no more. I never wanted to be so incoherent, so out of it that I couldn't control myself.
Thinking back to that night, it was only the words that she spoke that snapped me out of it. That reminded me of my mother, of why she chose to swing along the beam, of why she hated her own child.
I never wanted to be that man again; I wanted… I wanted to be better. More. For her.
One way to ensure that was not to participate in extra festivities, including drinking.
“You level?”
Hearing Nicu’s voice, I immediately responded, shaking my gaze away from the bottle at the bar. “Ya. Fine.”
His eyes narrowed, and I lifted my hand in front of him, knowing he had seen it shake when we were at the house in the States. “See? It's not shaking. I think I got through the worst of it.” The withdrawal phase was hard. Always angry, always needing it, your body twitching, itching, feeling the voice of not having it. All of this made it so even if I needed it, I wasn’t able to sleep. If it wasn't for those Benzo Nicu got me, I would’ve had a harder time getting over the hump.
“The worst is yet to come,” Cezar purred, petting Kazia as he gazed down at her, “but she’s worth it.” I hated that he was right. Worse was yet to come, I could feel it in my bones.
“Speaking of Kazia, we need to play this smart,” Nicu reminded us. “Find out what our father wants from her. If it was just a grudge, he could’ve easily had Cezar torture her and send him evidence, especially since this seemed to be a personal grudge between her mother and him. So why would he need her here? Why would he spend the time, money, and manpower to get her?” He stared at her like she could answer his questions, but we all knew she couldn't. She was innocent in all this.
“Even when I called to tell him we needed more time because she got shot, he didn't complain about the week delay...why? He’s the type not to give a fuck about anyone and make them do it anyway. The possibility of her bleeding out in the sky shouldn’t worry him unless he needed her alive for something .”
He peered up at Cezar. “Do your voices have anything to add to that?”
Cezar shrugged, holding her close. “They just keep saying the words ‘not good’ and ‘Romani princess’.” Nicu nodded like that made sense. It almost never made sense to me, but I guess that was part of his charm. His annoying, psycho, dickhead charm.
The car rolled to a stop, and Nicu’s fingers flew across his phone, closing it before the driver opened the door. The butler, Gregory, was waiting for us at the bottom of the stairs. Nicu reached for Kazia, Cezar baring his teeth to him like a dog until Nicu barked out, “Be careful with her shoulder.” Cezar shook his head, looking like a kicked puppy and I helped him lift her limp body carefully towards Nicu.
Once we all climbed out, the butler came forward, smiling at us as he lifted his hands to take Kazia. “I got her,” Nicu continued, “When are we to meet father?”
The butler bowed, his tone shifting along with his feet. “He’s taking care of a skirmish in Amasia. They have been… happening more frequently. He wanted to make a show of this one.”
Nicu pressed his lips into a thin line, hesitating before his shoulders lowered as he exhaled. “Fine. We’ll be in the east wing.”
The butler bowed further, “Yes, sire. Understood. Please let me know if you or the miss need something.
A shuffle sounded behind us, and I looked over my shoulder to see two of Nicu’s men shove the driver into the back of the car and drive off. Well, that loose end was taken care of.
Looking up at the large, opulent mansion, a chill ran down my spine. My eyes found Kazia’s slumped form. I don't think any of us are going to leave this house the same.