37. Roman #2
“Protecting you became the most important thing in my life, but I didn’t know Alto had been scheming.
When you told me, all I could think of was the possibilities of what else he’d been doing.
How many other people in your life were poisoned by him just waiting to strike?
So I wanted to scare you, to make you so angry that you would go to extreme, even insane levels to protect yourself while I kept Santino and Alto busy.
I thought I could even learn and sabotage whatever attempts were ready to take your life.
And I did that because for all I knew my presence was putting you in danger.
I thought if I made you angry and returned to them to learn where the danger was, I could save you.
Telling you the truth would put you at even more risk for any other secret plans I knew nothing about…
it could have put you in more danger and I couldn’t take that chance. So I made a terrible snap decision.”
Jasmine remains silent for a few minutes as she processes everything I say, then she smiles a small smile.
“I thought so. Part of me thought it was my own inability to accept that kind of truth from you, that I was so in love with you that I wasn’t seeing what was right in front of me.
But it felt…wrong. Were you…” She reaches for my bandaged hand, then hesitates.
“Were you really going to give up everything for me? To turn your back on all those years of work to get revenge on Santino, just to keep me safe?”
I nod quickly, ignoring the pull of pain at my injured shoulder.
“Yes. Because in that moment, I realized I’ve spent my entire life chasing a ghost because I had nothing else to live for.
But now I do. Even if I have to live in a world where you hate me, at least it’s a world you’re in.
And that’s better than any alternative.”
“It worked,” Jasmine says softly, her voice cracking. She takes my hand and the moment her warm fingers slide between mine, I grip as hard as I can—which isn’t actually all that firm. “I have an alliance with the Mancinis now.”
“What?!” I gasp and wince as a dull ache radiates through my chest. “How on earth…?”
“I was angry. And hurt. And scared. I’d gotten rid of everyone and everything, and suddenly I was alone, so I thought fuck it. Go big, right? And I was also a little drunk, but I managed to get a meeting with Theresa.”
“Holy shit.”
“I know, right? She’s so scary but also so sweet.
Which weirdly makes her scarier. And she helped me take out the Yakuza, which is why they’re now on my side.
She has a hefty percentage of profit from me, so there’s kind of a lot of pressure, but at least she doesn’t want my head anymore.
Or yours. And…” Jasmine shakes her head and tucks some of her hair behind her ear.
“It’s kind of romantic, what you did. Putting yourself in that position, going through all of this and nearly dying just to keep me safe. ”
“I’d do it all again,” I say honestly. “Maybe I should have done it differently, and I’m sorry, Jasmine. I’m so sorry I hurt you and scared you. Everything was moving so fast and Alto…fucking Alto …”
“Don’t worry.” Jasmine’s thumb runs over my knuckles. “He’s dead.”
“What? How?”
“He was still texting my mother, trying to lure her out so I went instead, and I kicked his ass and killed him after he told me where you were. It was him who told me Santino threatened to kick you out of the family, and suddenly I understood why you did what you did. I remember when I was so focused on finding my rescuer, before I knew he was you, and I would have done anything to find him. I know it’s not quite the same as avenging your mother, but I understood your motivation.
” She smiles again and her eyes shine with building tears.
“So he’s dead. And now I’m using him to persuade my mother that it was him she was talking to all this time. ”
“Oh Jasmine … how is your mother?”
“She’s…” She puffs out her cheeks. “She’s the same as she always was, in a way.
Sometimes she forgets what she did but it’s getting easier.
She’s listening to me more, and I’ve been slowly persuading her of the truth.
On bad days, she doesn’t always know who I am at first, but I have her working with the best therapists and doctors I can buy.
If nothing else, she’s happy when she focuses on the wedding. ”
Ah. The wedding.
Between Jasmine and I.
Thinking of it brings an impossible question to my mind. How does Jasmine feel about me? My lips part, but I suddenly don’t have the strength to ask it even though I meant what I said. A world with Jasmine hating me is better than a world with no Jasmine at all.
And yet, she seems to be on the same wavelength because her shimmering eyes meet mine and she tightens her grip briefly on my hand. “Speaking about the wedding…Did you mean it?”
“Mean what?”
“That you loved me?”
“It’s not past tense,” I reply softly. “I love you. That’s how I know I’d go through all of this again and again just to keep you safe.”
She laughs weakly and looks upward as if trying to stop her tears from falling. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m still pissed at you,” she says. “You really hurt me. And I understand why you did what you did, it’s just going to take me some time not to be hurt by it.”
“I understand.”
“But you’re in luck.” She looks back at me with a watery smile. “I love you too. And I don’t…I don’t want to do this alone, Ren. I don’t want to be one of those people who lets things fall apart because of bad blood. I want…I want what I want, and that’s you.”
“Are you sure?” I scarcely dare to believe what I’m hearing. Maybe I did die and this is heaven.
“Of course I’m sure!” She laughs again, and this time a couple of tears escape. “I lost my dad and I’m losing my mom. I don’t want to lose you too. But you have to promise me something.”
“Anything.” I’ve never agreed faster.
“No more lies. No more secrets. We work together on everything, okay?”
“Okay.” The drugs are doing too good a job at dulling my sensations, but the swell of love for Jasmine is unmistakable. I try to sit up, but weakness still pulls through my limbs so I’m forced to groan. “Come over here and kiss me because I can’t sit up.”
“Poor baby,” Jasmine teases as she leans forward. “My weak little man.”
“Don’t push it.”
“What are you gonna do?” We’re so close that our noses bump. “Fight me?”
“If I must.” Her lips chase mine and the slightly salty kiss from her stray tears sends an explosion of excitement through my chest. For a brief moment I don’t breathe, I focus completely on the kiss until the machines bleep and scream at me.
Jasmine jolts back in alarm and looks between me and the machines. “Oh my God, are you okay?”
“It’s a great kiss,” I gasp, chuckling.
She swats me gently on the forearm. “Asshole. Holy shit, I thought I was killing you for a second.”
“No, that’s just—” Everything screeches to a halt in my mind and my chest as a cold thought pops into my mind.
“What is it?” Jasmine frowns deeply. “Ren, what’s wrong?”
“Santino … what happened to him?”
Jasmine’s deep frown melts into a sly smile. “Hm. Wanna go on a date?”