Chapter 5
Chapter Five
ELLIE
“Hope is not a destination. It is the path walked in darkness.”
Love Songs of the Mountain Provinces
Authority soldiers pound on doors, moving house to house through Ravencross’s old district. I don’t remember how I got here, but every instinct says they’re looking for me. I press myself against the wall, heart hammering as crimson uniforms flash past the alley where I’m hiding.
Why am I here? Where is Sacha?
The banging grows louder, more insistent.
My pulse thunders in my ears, while the lightning coils beneath my skin, ready to strike.
I force it down. I can’t be discovered. I can’t let them see the silver light.
I can’t let them know what I am. They’ll drag me to Blackvault and purge the power from my body. I can’t let that happen.
Heavy boots thud against the cobblestones, coming closer. Muffled voices bark orders I can’t quite make out. The sound of splintering wood echoes from somewhere nearby. They’re breaking down doors now, past waiting for permission to be allowed inside.
My breath comes in short, sharp gasps. The wall against my back feels too thin, like it might crumble at any moment. Like it won’t be enough to hide me once they’ve searched every house and there’s only the alley left.
The banging stops. Then starts again.
Closer. It’s right beside the entrance to the alley now.
A shadow falls across the gap.
“Ellie.”
My heart stutters. They’ve spotted me. I back against the wall, but it’s no longer there, and I fall backward. The red cloaks fade to shadows. The cobblestones beneath my feet transform into something soft.
Where am I?
My heart is throwing itself against my ribs. I’m gasping, my body braced for an attack that isn’t coming. My hands reach behind me and my fingers curl around cushions not stone. Reality reestablishes itself.
I’m in my apartment … not Ravencross.
But the soldiers? Where are the soldiers?
My sleep-fogged mind is still half-stuck in the dream, while the pounding continues.
Real pounding. On my front door.
“Ellie? I know you’re in there!” It takes me a second to recognize Kate’s voice through my lingering confusion. “I’ve been texting you for hours. Are you ready to go for brunch?”
Brunch? What brunch? When was she texting me?
Wait. My phone. She doesn’t know I lost my phone in the Sunfire Dunes. That I’ve been away for months.
I push myself up from the couch where I collapsed last night, movements slow while my mind still fights to shake off the dream.
When I finally make it across the room and open the front door, Kate is standing there, bundled up in a hat, scarf, and a thick winter coat.
I blink at her. She hasn’t changed at all, and I have to remind myself that for her it’s been less than twenty-four hours since she last saw me.
“Jesus, Ellie, did you—” Her eyes widen as she scans me from head to toe.
“Did you do something with your hair?” She steps inside without waiting for an invitation, unwinding her scarf.
“It looks different.” Her gaze narrows. “Are you wearing colored contacts? There’s something silver in your eyes. ”
I touch my hair, fingers seeking out the silver streaks, and lower my lashes to hide my eyes.
“Yeah, Christmas gift to myself.” What else can I say? “And no to the contacts. I’m just tired. I put in eye drops, maybe it’s that.”
“We’re meeting everyone in twenty minutes.” She frowns at me again. “You look … I don’t know … different. Why didn’t you answer my texts?”
“I lost my phone yesterday,” I reply slowly, closing the door and turning to face her. “What’s happening in twenty minutes?”
“Brunch. We didn’t get to have a Christmas party this year, so this is the next best thing. You’d left work before we arranged it, so I texted you to let you know.” Her frown deepens. “How did you lose your phone?”
“I tripped on my way home yesterday.” Not a lie. “I think it fell down a storm drain.” That, on the other hand, is. Hopefully, it sounds mundane enough that she won’t dig deeper.
“That’s awful. Have you got a replacement? I might have a spare one at home, if you haven’t.”
My mind is still struggling to catch up.
One day I’m in another world, surrounded by warriors, and magic, and now I’m standing in my apartment discussing brunch plans and lost phones.
How do I explain that I’ve been gone for months, fighting a war in another world?
That the person she knew before no longer exists?
“I think so. Somewhere. I just haven’t looked for it yet.”
Kate drops onto my couch, checking her phone when it dings. “Brian just texted to say they’re leaving now. You should get dressed.”
“Right.”
I retreat to my bedroom, opening my closet and studying its contents. I settle on a fresh pair of jeans, and a sweater, then go into the bathroom to freshen up. Kate is flipping through a magazine when I return to the living room. She glances at me while I crouch to tie the laces on my sneakers.
“That hairstyle really makes you look different. I like it.”
I shrug. “I felt like a change.” Straightening, I pull on my coat, and grab my keys. “I’m ready.”
I want to find Sacha, but I can’t think of any reason I can give Kate that would make her go to brunch without asking a thousand questions I can’t answer first.
Maybe I’ll catch sight of him while I’m out with her. Or, at the very least, this odd connection to him I have might get stronger if I’m moving around. It’s better than sitting in my apartment and wondering what to do for the best.
Once we’re outside my apartment building, we have to tread carefully.
The streets are snow covered, with patches of ice, and every step forward is a game of trying not to slip.
It feels surreal listening to Kate as she fills the silence with talk of holiday plans and last minute shopping, while I keep testing that faint connection.
I try to nod at the right times, while struggling to remember why any of this mattered to me.
But she doesn’t seem to notice my distraction.
“So anyway, my mom’s flight got delayed again,” Kate is saying when I try to focus on her voice. “Now she’s not coming until tomorrow, which means I have to go and pick her up on Christmas morning. It’s going to be utter chaos!”
“Chaos,” I repeat softly.
If only she knew what real chaos looked like. My mind goes to the ambush at Glassfall Gap when we rescued Sacha. That was chaos. A delayed flight is just an … inconvenience.
I pull my coat tighter around me, and wonder again where Sacha is. Maybe I should call the hospitals and police stations. But what would I say?
“I’m looking for a tall, dark haired man who doesn’t speak English, and is dressed like something out of a renaissance fair. Shadows might gather around him, and there could also be a raven somewhere.” Somehow, I don’t think that would result in finding him, only in people questioning my sanity.
A diner appears ahead, holiday lights twinkling around the entrance. Through the window I spot the rest of my friends. Kate loops her arm through mine and drags me through the door.
The moment we step inside, I’m assaulted on all fronts.
Heat blasts from overhead vents, conversations overlap in a dozen different pitches, silverware clinks against ceramic, and holiday music plays beneath it all.
After months in Meridian, where sound was kept to a minimum, the noise makes my head spin.
The air smells of bacon grease and coffee, overwhelmingly rich and nauseating.
Brian, Tasha, and Mark wave from a corner booth beside the window, and we head over to join them. Kate slides in first and I follow her, the vinyl seat squeaking as we shuffle around until we’re comfortable.
“Why do you look different?” Brian says, handing me a menu and frowning.
“She had her hair done.” Kate answers before I can.
“I like it!” Tasha smiles at me. “What brought that on? You’ve never put color in your hair before.”
I force a smile, ducking my head to study the menu. “Just felt like a change.”
The laminated page swims before my eyes.
Endless choices of pancakes, waffles, omelets with a dozen different fillings.
For months, food choices have been limited.
Dried meat and hard bread if we were traveling, maybe berries if we were lucky.
In Stonehaven, it was rich broths and stews, cheese and fruit.
Here, people agonize over whether they want their eggs over easy or scrambled, or if they want wheat or sourdough toast. The abundance of choice feels almost obscene.
“Did any of you lose power last night? Ours was out until four A.M.,” Mark asks.
“If we did, I didn’t notice,” Tasha replies. “I was asleep.”
“The storm kept everyone awake in my place,” Brian says.
The waitress appears, coffee pot in hand.
I order automatically, muscle memory guiding the words.
I don’t even know what I’ve picked. Once she leaves, the conversation picks up around me again.
Work, politics, holiday travel nightmares, storm stories.
I struggle to pay attention to topics that would have once seemed important.
I try to show interest in minor inconveniences and the petty grievances they’re talking about.
“Earth to Ellie!” Mark waves a hand in front of my face. “You in there?”
I blink, discovering a plate of pancakes and a mug of coffee in front of me.
“Sorry.”
“Is everything okay with you?”
I nod. “Just tired.” My gaze drifts to the window, watching as people move slowly along the icy sidewalk.
I feel disconnected from the world beyond the glass.
Everyone here is preparing for Christmas, doing last minute shopping for gifts and snacks.
They’re preparing for family visits. None of them know about the Authority, about the Veinwardens, about Sacha.