Chapter 9
Nine
In the morning, Kate woke, still tired, to the smell of food. She made the mistake of rolling over, but it hurt too much, so she immediately flipped back onto her stomach.
This was real life. The real morning after.
He’d spanked her incredibly hard and then whipped her with a belt.
It had been wonderful at first, then too much to take, then incredible again.
She’d been desperate to stop him, but also desperate not to.
She’d never felt that way before. Kate had felt like she was on the brink of breaking so many times.
She’d screamed so loudly. She couldn’t remember how many times.
Master Rory wore black boxer briefs when he came into the room carrying a tray with scrambled eggs and toast with jam.
And milk and Motrin. It kind of thrilled her that he’d done this for her, but she also remembered exactly why and was filled with self doubt.
She wasn’t sure she was ready to be with someone like him.
He’d pushed her so far, and it had only been their first time together.
How much farther might he expect her to go?
She couldn’t have taken more than she had.
She hadn’t even been able to take that much.
It was humiliating considering how she’d been pushing for it.
“I don’t think I’m hungry,” she said with a little catch in her voice, wishing she’d gone home during the night.
He kissed her between the shoulder blades. “Doesn’t matter. You’re gonna eat. Swallow the Motrin first.”
“Three pills is too many,” she said, staring at them. “I never take three.” She pushed one aside.
He said nothing, but stood there like an orderly in an asylum and waited. She finally propped herself up and swallowed two of them. She drank half the milk. She was really thirsty. Probably dehydrated from all that crying. Embarrassment swamped her again as she remembered the way she’d sobbed.
She ate a few bites of eggs and toast, not looking at him. “I’m sorry I wasn’t very good at it. You were right.”
“What are you talking about?” he said, and she thought she heard an edge to his voice. Was he frustrated with her?
Cringing, she turned. She couldn’t face him. “Thank you for breakfast,” she whispered, setting down the fork. She winced as she sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed.
“Where do you think you’re headed?” he asked.
“To get dressed. Go home and to school,” she murmured, though she couldn’t imagine going to classes.
“No, you’re not.”
She stood up, partly because she couldn’t sit.
He moved to block her way. “I said no.”
She finally looked up at him. “I don’t understand.”
“Can you sit in a lecture hall today, kitten?”
She grimaced at both that thought and at his calling her kitten. Master Rory was right. She wasn’t strong enough to bounce back this morning like nothing had happened. She wasn’t a good kitten and couldn’t be. At least not his. And that broke her heart because she wanted to be. So much.
“Probably not ok to go to lectures. But I can go home to lie in my own bed.”
“No.”
She stamped her foot, feeling overwhelmed. Why didn’t he just let it go? She was humiliated enough. “Why do you keep saying ‘no’? What do you expect me to do? I’m so sore. I admit it!”
“I know you’re sore. I’m the one who made you that way.”
“You did. It hurts,” she said, biting her lip. “I want to go home so I can lie down and be by myself and not have to try to do anything.”
“And go all day without eating? Without anyone to talk to?”
“I don’t want to talk to anyone. I want to be alone. Away from everybody. Including you,” she whispered fiercely.
He smiled. “I don’t blame you.”
“I’m really mad.”
“I know. Why is that?”
“Because I’m such an idiot,” she said, tears filling her eyes.
“Unlikely.”
“I was so excited and so crazy about you. You warned me I had no idea what I was in for. I was so sure I could take it because I wanted to. So badly! But I couldn’t.
All those other girls at the club and that you’ve been with before…
I’m a disappointment and I hate that. I hate it so much,” she said, her voice cracking.
“Are you kidding?” he asked. “You’re not. Christ,” he said, hugging her to him. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. You think anyone ever lets me go that far? Ever? You say you couldn’t take it, but you did. You did take everything.”
She pulled back. “But I didn’t enjoy the whipping. Not at the end.”
“Why didn’t you stop me?”
“I thought you’d stop yourself.”
“And I did,” Rory said pointedly. “Listen, you have a safeword. I know you understand when you’re supposed to use it because we talked about it.”
“It wasn’t a safeword thing.”
“What kind of thing was it, kitten?”
“Stop calling me that!”
His brows rose. “Watch your mouth. And tell me why I should stop calling you kitten.”
“It’s not what I thought. I just can’t—I’m not… I don’t think I can do it.”
“That’s bullshit. Lie back down until the Motrin kicks in.”
“Am I a prisoner?”
“Not unless you try to leave,” he said, the edges of his mouth curving up.
She was hurt and confused, and it made her feel self conscious to have him look at her and be so close.
She needed to escape. She didn’t care what he said; she knew she was a disappointment.
Her butt ached when she moved or put pressure on it.
She couldn’t interact. She wanted to hide. “If I use my safeword, can I go?”
He paused to think it over.
Her anxiety spiked, and it was too much. She smacked her hands against his chest, trying to push him. “You have to let me go if I use that word. It’s not fair.”
“House arrest isn’t really a safeword kind of thing,” he joked.
“I’m serious now,” she said, glaring at him.
His expression turned deadly serious in an instant. “So use it. And I will take you home.”
She took a step back. “I just want to go home,” she said in a soft voice. She didn’t have it in her to defy him if it made him angry. She hated the idea that she might not see him again.
“Then you know what to do,” he said, arms folded across his massive chest.
She swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry. After several moments of tense silence she admitted, “I’m afraid to use that word.”
“You should be,” he said, not giving an inch. “Why are you threatening to bail? Why not stay and talk this out?”
She bit her lip, blinking her stinging eyes. What was wrong with her? She did want to work things out with him. Instead, she was getting over-the-top anxious and emotional, the way she did when something was really important to her. “Can I take a bath?”
“Yeah, of course.” He pointed. “Don’t lock the door.”
“Why not?”
He rubbed his eyes. “You’re really testing my patience.”
“You could have let me go home,” she whispered, then winced, knowing she shouldn’t have said it.
“For fuck’s sake,” he muttered softly, shaking his head. “Go take a bath, kitten.”
Had he gone too far? Or was she just looking at things differently the morning after?
At the time, she’d seemed to enjoy it. The way her body had moved had given him the signals to keep going.
He’d probably gotten caught up in the moment too, because he was so into her.
He’d pushed her to the edge to learn what she could take.
And the roughness had excited her. He was sure of that.
Feeling how powerful he was, how completely he could dominate her, had turned her on. She’d been drenched when he fucked her.
But he didn’t like that she was upset and so sore that she was regretting the night before.
The first night should’ve been a complete rush for both of them.
He knew she was in awe of him. That she’d wanted to please him.
Is that why she hadn’t stopped him? She had experience with her ex, but maybe not the right kind.
Rory had been with sweet subs in the past, ones newer even than Kate.
There’d never been a problem. But they didn’t usually raise their asses for more when he spanked them so hard.
They either stopped him or tried to tuck their tails and escape the force of the blows.
She’d taken the early stuff like she loved it.
Later, she’d clenched and screamed, but when he’d paused and talked softly to her, she’d seemed impatient, like that wasn’t what she wanted.
He still could’ve stopped short, but hadn’t.
Rory knew what had driven him. Kate seemed to crave his darkness, like she’d been waiting for so long to feel it.
The same way he’d been waiting for someone who could handle how raw he could get.
It had been amazing, especially since she was so fucking gorgeous.
He’d wanted to devour her. He was the Big Bad Wolf, and she was his Little Red Riding Hood.
In the morning light though, the aftermath made her body hurt and she was trying to retreat and regain control.
But that taste of having complete power over her left him wanting more.
That’s what had them locked in battle now.
He hadn’t thought she’d be better off at home, but maybe she would’ve been.
By now, it no longer mattered. She’d challenged his authority over her, and she would either play the only card she had or she would fold.
Thank God she’d folded at the last standoff. The last thing in the world he wanted was to lose her for real. He had no idea why, but he could not get enough of this girl.
His phone rang, and he glanced at the screen. It was Leah, his administrative assistant. Again. He swiped the screen and answered with, “Cancel the rest of the day. I’m not coming in.”
“All right. Everything okay?”
“Yeah, fine. What does tomorrow look like?”
“Pretty light. Should I move anything?”
“Not yet. And you know what to do about cancelled meetings.”
“Yes, I’ve already sent Mr. Wang tickets to Hamilton and Mrs. Anderson a spa weekend in La Jolla. I’ll take care of the afternoon apology gifts.”
“Later,” he said, hanging up.