Chapter 42 Eleven
Eleven
When she woke, she was in Mr. Lawford’s arms. He set her down on the couch in Shay’s office. She lay on her back, stretched out, and closed her eyes.
When she woke again, she heard Shay say, “Did you get her drunk so she’d agree to come back?”
“I’m not drunk,” she said, sitting up. Emma felt a little unsteady, but not buzzed anymore.
“I didn’t need to get her drunk. She wanted to come. Any of you could’ve brought her back any time. I don’t know how the fuck you lot lost her in the first place.”
“We call it Dungeon Row, but we don’t actually chain them up there twenty-four-seven. If they want to go home, we let them.”
“Don’t give me that bullshit. Anyone can see she’s a bit of angel food cake. You’re a pack of goddamned wolves, and you couldn’t manage to hold onto her for more than a bloody night?”
Emma blinked. This was not the Mr. Lawford she knew.
“Mr. Lawford, I’m—”
“Close that pretty mouth, love. The Doms are talking.”
“But—”
“Close it or you’ll find it stuffed so you can’t close it,” Mr. Lawford warned. “We weren’t in the club before, pet, but we’re in it now. And while I’m in this house, you’ll behave or you’ll be made to behave.”
She stared at them, stiff with shock, but also throbbing with excitement.
“She’s not yours to discipline,” Shay said.
“Then crack that goddamned whip when she needs it. Or give her to a Dom who will.”
Shay’s eyes were icy cool. “I’ll do what I want with her.”
“I want her for a scene tonight.”
“You can’t have her,” Shay said.
Mr. Lawson scowled. “Why not?”
“Because it’s my decision, and I say she’s not ready.”
“You wouldn’t even have her if I hadn’t brought her back.”
“Bullshit. She was always coming back to the club, and we both know it.”
“You might have lost her to another club.”
“No way.”
“That sure?”
“Yes,” Shay said.
Mr. Lawford took a deep breath in and blew it out, relaxing his shoulders. “I only let her drink three mimosas. An hour at the outside before she’s under the house limit.”
“She doesn’t have to pass a Breathalyzer. I’ll bring her out when I decide she’s sober enough to play.”
“Good. Where? Second dungeon?”
“Christ, no,” Shay said, laughing. “Did you talk to her at all? If I make that her first scene, you’ll have to drown her in whiskey to get her back in the club before fall. Get the hell out of my office. Go do a scene with Carla.”
“Fuck off,” Mr. Lawford said, but there wasn’t any heat to it. He stalked out of the office.
“Wow. He was not like that at his house,” Emma said with raised brows.
“I bet he wasn’t. But he would have gotten that way, even at his house, if you’d been anything other than exceptionally sweet. Old school, remember?”
She swallowed and nodded.
“So, chaos, what are you doing in my office?”
“I wanted to come back to the club.”
“Of course you did. You belong here.”
He looked at her in that intent way he had. It made her fidget. Would she ever get completely used to it?
“So, Randall Lawford brought you back. Do you want him for a trainer? He’s rough, but he knows how to bring a sub to her full potential and how to get her off. He’ll also break every rule about expenditure limits on gifts. Want someone to buy you the moon?”
How could Shay ask her that? After the way he’d kissed her and made her trust him… Did he want her or not?
“I didn’t think I needed Mr. Lawford as a trainer. That’s your—I expected to be in your hands.”
He leaned against the desk. “So far, I’m disappointed in you.”
She dropped her eyes, swallowing against a tight throat.
“When someone is brand new, I give her a longer leash. I know it’s startling for you to feel the jerk of that chain the first few times.
But if you break the leash and leave, you’re not much of a pet, are you?
And if I can’t make you crave this life too much to risk losing it, then I’m not much of a master, am I? Because it’s in you to crave it.”
“You said you were keeping me. You told Mr. Lawford.”
“Only to slow him down. He hasn’t trained a sub in years, and the fact that he chased you across town five minutes after he returned to the States says to me he’s too eager to train you right. Doms don’t chase subs except during play. We call and you come, period.”
“So what will happen to me?”
“If I decide you’re not worth my trouble, I’ll hold you in place until D comes back and decides who should take over your training.
It might be Lawford, but at least you’ll be a little better under control by then and less likely to push him into punishments that in my opinion you’re not ready for. ”
“I don’t want Master Randall or anyone else. Please, Shay—”
“That’s not how you address me in the club.”
“Sorry, Sir,” she quickly corrected. “Won’t you keep training me? Please?”
“Is that what you really want?”
“Yes.”
“Then why are you lounging on my couch like you own the place? Why did Master Randall carry you in like some drunken party princess? Is that what you are?”
“No.”
“No what?”
“No, Sir.”
“If you’re not a party girl, then what are you?”
“I’m a submissive, Sir,” she whispered. Why was it so hard to say the words?
“Are you really? Then why is your ass still resting on my couch cushions?” His tone wasn’t angry, but it was so firm, so uncompromising. So Dominant. “I told you how to ask for forgiveness. You do that from your knees.”
Emma felt like her whole life was hanging in the balance. It had been so upsetting that he’d let her go on the night she’d left, but she understood now that he wouldn’t have chased her even if he’d wanted to.
It had crushed her to be cut off from him. She couldn’t understand how that was even possible when she’d only known him for a few hours. But that’s the way it was.
If she lost Shay now, it would be her own fault for letting pride get in the way of exploring a life she desperately wanted to explore. She rose and walked to him, her head down, tears prickling her eyes.
She knelt before him. “I behaved very badly, Sir. I’m sorry, Master Shay.” She lowered herself all the way so her butt was on her heels and her forearms were flat on the floor in front of her with her forehead touching the carpet. And then she waited.
He left her in that position for what felt like an eternity.
“Nicely done, Emma. I forgive you. Raise your head and look at me.”
She sat back and looked up at him through wet lashes.
“Part of your punishment is that I’m not going to comfort you right now.”
She swallowed and nodded.
“The second part of your punishment is that you’re not allowed to try to talk to Kate.
Intervening to provide what you perceived to be help to your friend has gotten you into hot water twice.
I understand that outside the club women often need the advice and support of other women.
In here, though, one sub doesn’t need the protection of another.
In here, Doms take care of subs. And until you can retrain your mind to accept that, you’ll steer clear of her. ”
“Yes, Sir. I don’t think she’s allowed to talk to me anyway.”
“You’re right. Master Rory and I will decide when you’re ready to be friends again. Now let’s talk about some things I need to know before we do our scene.”
She clasped her hands tightly on her lap to keep them from shaking. “May I say something?”
“Yes.”
“I want to do a scene with you. So much. But I’m afraid I’ll ruin it by being too scared to expose myself like that in front of everyone. I don’t want to disappoint you or to reflect badly on you or myself in front of the club.”
He smiled. “Having those concerns means you’ve already turned a corner in your thinking. Good for you.”
“Yes, but, Sir, how am I going to get through it?”
“You got through your public punishment better than anyone expected, including you. Why do you think that was?”
“That was so different. I couldn’t see anyone. My head was facing the floor. Yours was the only voice I could hear clearly, and you distracted me. Concentrating on handling the pain distracted me, too. I just didn’t have the energy to care that I was being watched.
“That’s why we won’t do the home invasion scene first. It’s a quiet scene that leaves the sub very exposed in what can, at times, be an unsettling way.
A lot of the subs cry and become emotional.
They say it’s the ultimate submission and very cathartic, but after thinking it over, I don’t think it’s a good scene for a new sub.
What I think will work better is if I let you react to the scene the way you’ve been trained to react by the outside world. ”
“What do you mean?”
“When you’re first captured, you can fight and mouth off and anything else that you’d do outside.”
“Sir? Fight being submissive? Mouth off? Won’t that reflect really badly on me?”
“No. On Shakespeare’s Row, it sweetens the kill so to speak.”
“But, Master Shay, I won’t want to fight with you, especially not during a scene.”
“You don’t think so, huh?” He smirked. “Ever since you first set foot in the club, you’ve been torn between wanting to stay and wanting to run.
In the scene tonight, it’ll be okay to do either.
And you can have some fun with it because in the scene, if you run, I’ll chase you, which we both know is what you want. ”
She blushed. Did he have to put it that baldly? “Um, well, that does sound fun. Which scene is it?”
“The ‘kidnapped by pirates’ one.”