Chapter 49 #2
“Hey, enough,” he said, rubbing her arms. Her chilled skin made him frown.
He took the lotion. “You’re contrite. I forgive you.
And incidentally, I was to blame, too.” He rubbed her skin vigorously, warming her.
“I shouldn’t have gotten frustrated. I harp on you to tell me how you feel.
It’s inexcusable for me to dismiss what you’re trying to share just because the timing’s inconvenient.
I could’ve gotten off a dozen different ways.
And I know better than to mix liquor with a new kind of scene.
It didn’t occur to me that it would go wrong since there wasn’t going to be pain involved.
But this is why I should always follow my own rules.
Tell me why it would’ve hurt your feelings.
You thought it would be too humiliating to get sprayed in the face? ”
She nodded. “When I think about it now, it seems silly to have made such a fuss. It’s only…
When the guys in the pornographic movies do it, the women look so degraded.
I hate watching that part. And usually when we’re doing a scene, even when you’re using me, you’re taking care of me, trying to make sure I enjoy the experience.
Tonight felt different. I know it was a punishment to not let me come and I deserved it, but in the heat of the moment, I couldn’t think calmly about it.
I know you’re not just using me like a whore.
What you said at the bar, that you have me and I could never be stranded, was so great.
I can’t believe I forgot that tonight in bed.
It meant a lot to me. If I’d just thought about that instead of stupid movies… ”
Shay nodded. “Listen, Em, you’re allowed to object to anything that is too emotionally upsetting. I was wrong to make you feel bad for communicating with me. I’m going to have to think about what I need to do to make amends for that.”
“Oh, Sir, I don’t think—”
“Emma, hush. When you make a mistake, you take your punishment. When I make a mistake, I have to accept responsibility and punishment, too. Otherwise my sub would be tougher and more honorable than I am and then she would deserve a better master.”
She clearly wanted to argue, but swallowed the words.
“Now let’s talk about what was going on in my head because I was half the problem tonight or more. It’s true I care about you. In fact, I care about you more than any other sub I’ve ever known.”
Her eyes widened.
“That doesn’t mean all my intentions toward you are good and pure.
You know they’re not. Why strap you down and spank you?
So you’ll feel like a goddess on a pedestal?
” He shook his head with a rueful smile.
“No, it’s to humble you. It’s about who’s stronger and more powerful and who’s weaker and more helpless.
And with regards to painting your skin with my cum, I don’t know why we men like to see it on your bodies so much.
I guess it’s an animal thing. Marking our territory with the symbol of our virility?
I’m no psychiatrist. We’ll leave the analysis to D.
The one thing I do know is that when I’m in the grips of a scene, when I’ve tied you up and am about to prove that you belong to me and that I can do anything to your body that pleases me, and you tell me I’d better not and challenge me for control…
” He shook his head. “It goes against a Dom’s instinct to let that stand.
At eighteen, I wouldn’t have spared your face.
It would’ve been a lesson about who’s in charge.
After a decade, I’ve got more control, thank God, but that’s the worst moment during which to test it.
” He stretched his fingers. “Because I love believing you’re mine to do with as I please. ”
“I am yours.”
“I know, kitten, and I’m grateful for that.
So in the moments when you need me to hear you, don’t try to wrestle control away from me by telling me no.
That brings out the aggressive side of dominance like almost nothing else.
Appeal to my protective side. I’ll never ignore you.
It’s my responsibility to protect you from harm.
As much as I love using your body for my pleasure, I couldn’t face myself in the mirror if I did something that traumatized you. ”
She nodded. “But you should be able to try new things without having to worry that I’ll freak out. I like being at your mercy,” she whispered. “I don’t want you to think I don’t.”
He smiled. “You don’t have to worry that I’ll give up dominating you, Emma.
I like it too much to stop. And I appreciated that you cared enough to join me in the shower.
You were so hot and sweet as a kitten, Em.
I enjoyed that.” He rubbed his eyes. “I wish it weren’t so late.
We could play some more, but we need sleep. ”
He pulled the covers up over them and settled onto his back.
“Sir?”
“Yeah?”
“Will you hold my hand?” she whispered.
“I’ll hold more than that,” he said, putting out his arm. “Come.”
She curled against him, and he wrapped his arm around her back and stroked her side.
“One last thing, Emma, before we fall asleep.”
“Yes?”
“No more flirting with other guys. A master doesn’t drive across town so he can flirt with his sub in a bar full of vanilla people.
That’s strictly a boyfriend’s move. I don’t know if it’ll end up being the right decision, but I know it’s what you want and it’s apparently what I want, too.
So from tonight on, until one of us decides otherwise, we’re dating. ”
She crawled on top of him, pressing all that soft flesh against him, and gave him the sweetest, deepest kiss he could’ve imagined.
“Christ, be careful,” he said, stilling her circling hips with a laugh. “You know if you wake my cock, neither of us will get any sleep.”
“I don’t care,” she whispered and sucked on his earlobe.
He swatted her ass hard enough to make her squeak. “You have early classes tomorrow. You’re not allowed to sleep through them. And I have work.”
She kissed his jaw and slid off him, resting beside him once again. His cock was already half stiff. He sighed, grabbing her hand and putting it there.
“If I can’t fall asleep, someone I know is going to be in trouble tomorrow.”
“Sorry, Sir,” she said, smiling. “I got excited.”
He moved her hand to his stomach, covering it with his.
“But if you feel I deserve a punishment in the morning, I’ll take it like a good girl,” she promised.
He smiled. He’d mastered the sexiest, most adorable sub in the world, and now that he’d made her his girlfriend, she was his in every way.
It wasn’t something he’d ever expected to want, but it made him happier than he could ever remember being.