Chapter 16
Dear, Rosalie:
I understand that you met Meghan and misled her into thinking there was still something between us. As I’ve said, there’s no future for you and me. You should move on, the way I have.
I’ve attached a spreadsheet that contains every contractor and business that you might need for the house, the car, your finances and health-related services.
I’ve made a comprehensive list, so there will be no need for you to contact me again with any questions about who to call.
For general advice you have your brother and friends.
Dean
Dean blind-copied Meghan on his email to Rosalie. About an hour after he’d sent it, Rosalie tried calling.
He sent her a text that read, Nothing to talk about. Email questions if you have them.
She sent a furious email filled with curses and arguments and assertions that he owed her an actual conversation.
It rambled and talked a lot about Rosalie’s feelings and mistakes, and how he needed to forgive her.
She’d written that it was a mistake for him to get involved with someone else without trying to reconcile and rekindle what they’d had.
She demanded that he talk to her about “what was going on.”
Got your email. Don’t agree that I owe you explanations or a conversation.
Should be obvious why I’m doing this. I love her. Not you.
He blind-copied his response to Meghan.
There were several hours of silence and then a very long email full of remorse that she’d misled his new girlfriend and caused a bunch of drama.
She claimed she’d only done it because she’d been jealous since she was still in love with him.
She said she knew he still had feelings for her or why would he have kept in touch and let her know where his team was playing.
She made some painfully flowery pleas and references to times together, adding that she was sure Meghan wouldn’t understand the way to be to make him happy.
She ended with the fact that she knew she’d hurt him terribly.
But that that only happened when people really loved each other deeply.
She promised she would make it up to him.
I’m ready to settle down now. I’m even ready to have kids, she’d written.
Getting involved with Hannah and going to that party with her were the biggest mistakes of my life.
All I can do now is try to move forward.
I want to do that with you. Please give us another chance.
Rosalie, I understand you have regrets, but as I’ve said before, for me, our relationship is long over. The conversations about where I’d be staying while on the road were casual, not an invitation. I have zero interest in revisiting the past.
I want a future with someone else. Nothing will change that.
He blind-copied Meghan on his response, but did not include Rosalie’s original message.
He would let Meg read that part if she wanted to, but he worried that all the flowery language and seemingly heartfelt pleas might upset Meghan.
If Rosalie’s letter had been to Meghan from one of her old boyfriends who’d cheated on and betrayed her, Dean would’ve scoffed and wanted to punch the guy in the face.
But women could be softer. You never knew how they’d react to something that sounded sincere on the surface.
I fucking hate you, Dean. You have no heart and no feelings.
Looking back, I’m not sure you ever did.
I wonder how your precious girlfriend will react when she finds out what you like in bed.
Or how she’ll feel when she realizes you love a fucking coaching job more than anything or anyone.
The reason I started looking for someone else to love me was because you never did it right.
Have a nice life and don’t come crying to me when your relationship with the pasty-faced bimbo ends. Now I’m done too.
Dean deleted the words pasty-faced, but left the rest intact and forwarded it to Meghan with a note from him at the bottom.
Meghan,
Didn’t respond to the above email since it didn’t call for one.
I doubt she’ll contact me again, but if she does I won’t respond.
Dean
Meghan had been sure that reading Dean’s emails to his ex would make her feel worse.
Until she read them. He’d promised he would shut down the connection with his ex, and he had certainly done that.
It was stunning how quickly and easily he’d accomplished it.
The incredibly unequivocal language and lack of emotion were almost too brutal.
Ridiculously, though she was now sure he was over his ex, the exchange made her feel unsure of him in other ways.
If he’d loved his wife and could turn off those feelings so completely, what did that say about him?
That he has some sense, she told herself.
The woman cheated on him. He had every right to move on.
Except how had he slept with his ex-wife if he hadn’t had any feelings left for her? How could he get that intimate when he said he didn’t even like the woman anymore? And what did that say about his relationship with Meghan? He said he loved her, but what did that mean to him?
She shook her head. He did what you wanted and included you in the emails so you wouldn’t be worrying that he hadn’t really broken it off…which you would’ve worried about. Now you’re going to hold it against him that he wasn’t sweeter about it? Sweeter would have kept her coming back.
Meghan started twice to text him, but then deleted them.
She wasn’t sure what she wanted to say. Or that she was ready to jump into seeing him again.
Dean had a way of keeping her so off balance.
No one had ever made her so emotional or confused about her independence.
Having a minute to breathe would probably do her good.
It had been two days since Dean had forwarded her the emails, and she hadn’t heard from him since. It was infuriating.
A small voice in her head said that she hadn’t texted or emailed him either. But she told the voice that wasn’t the point. He’d promised to be in touch as soon as the business with his ex was settled. He’d said he loved her and wanted to make it up to her that she’d been hurt. And yet…silence.
She didn’t contact him, but she couldn’t avoid thoughts of him.
His image was everywhere. On the front page of the university newspaper there was a game day picture of him with two of his players.
The headline was Cry Wolf! and about half of the article contained quotes about Dean’s coaching style and leadership and the way he’d turned the team around.
Meghan was glad they’d won, but she felt a bit jealous. He belonged to his team and to the whole school. Everyone worshipped him. She’d thought he belonged to her too. At least a little. So where was he?
She finally sent him a text. My presentation to the department went well.
It took less than five minutes for him to respond. Glad to hear it.
How are you?
Good. You?
She stared at the screen, hating text messages and complicated relationships. What was she supposed to say to put things back on track?
A little confused, she typed. Then she stared at the words for a moment. Finally she pressed Send.
The phone rang, startling her, and she bobbled it. When she had a firm grip, she swiped the screen to answer.
“Hello,” she said.
“What are you confused about?” Dean asked.
“What’s going on with us?” she blurted.
“Tell me what you want,” he said in that calm voice of his that must have worked well for coaching.
“What do you want?” she countered.
“You.”
She exhaled. “Then why haven’t you called or texted?”
“Thought you could use a few days to clear your head without undue pressure from me.”
“Well, for someone who’s supposedly in love, you play things very cool.”
“You’re looking for proof?” he asked, sounding amused.
“I am a scientist. We appreciate empirical data.”
“Noted.”
“Dean?”
“Yes?”
“When can I see you?”
“At six when I get to your place.”
She smiled. “Okay. That’ll be good.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too,” she whispered.
“Everything will be all right, sweetheart.”
“Promise?”
“Yes. I’ll see you later.”