Chapter 8
Eight
Laci wasn’t sure why the hell she was wearing a pink dress with peony flip flops.
Eric had handed her things to put on, and she’d done it without really looking.
She’d sat through the council’s interrogation where she was pretty sure she’d cried for at least fifteen solid minutes and then recited a terrible poem that Colin had written for her on their first anniversary.
Now she was sitting in the hall while they discussed her and all she wanted to do was disappear.
When Eric joined her on the bench, she said, “I was a complete disaster.”
“That’s what I hear.”
“I don’t care,” she said, tears streaming.
“I can see that. You’re so calm and unemotional.”
“I hate your guts, Eric.”
“Guess I went too far stealing those underwear.”
“Jerk,” she said, laughing in spite of herself. “Let’s just leave. I don’t need to hear them say it.” She stood, swaying. “I can’t stand to hear them say it.”
He caught her arm, but she shook it hard.
“Red, dammit. Just red.”
He let her go. “Laci, relax.”
She couldn’t. She had to get away from him and all of them. They weren’t her friends. Colin was the only one who’d ever really cared about her. The only one who ever would.
Laci hadn’t known that they had spare keys to her house. No one in the community ever locked their doors, so it didn’t come up very often, but Laci had locked hers today. It was really annoying that that had been a completely pointless gesture.
At least it was Elena and Jim Ochoa. Elena was the only person she could halfway stand to see. She wished she’d been able to get really drunk when she’d gotten home from the meeting, but someone had taken away all her alcohol and a delivery she’d ordered was turned away at the gate.
Elena asked her a few nonsensical questions about current events that Laci answered in that same distant tone she’d had at the end of the visit at Melody’s.
“Sounds sober to me,” Jim said.
Elena nodded. “Laci, we’re worried about you.”
“And about the community and about global warming, yada yada.”
“Hey,” Jim said sharply. “Disrespect her again, and you’re out.”
Laci blinked. She actually liked that he’d told her off. If people were going to hate her, she wanted them to do it to her face. No more calling her honey while secretly fantasizing about knifing her in the back.
“I just want to get this over with. You came to kick me out. Say so and go.”
“We didn’t come to do that,” Elena said.
Laci stared at them, trying to figure out if they were telling the truth. “What’s the catch?” she asked finally.
“You have to choose someone to monitor your activities and correct your behavior for the next six weeks, at which time we’ll do another review and make a final decision about your residency status.”
“Oh my God. No way. I already have Eric looking over my shoulder for every penny I spend. You want me to give someone complete power over me?”
“Or you can just leave,” Jim said with a shrug.
“But we hope you won’t,” Elena said. She rested a hand on Jim’s arm. He sighed.
“It’s true,” Jim said. “We really think you should continue to live here, but that’s hard to know for sure since you’ve never been part of the community without Colin. You need to see if you belong here and so do we.”
“There are several people who’ve volunteered to welcome you into their homes.”
Laci sucked in a breath. “I’d have to move out of my house?”
“Just for this probationary period,” Elena assured her. “And you could still come back to use your studio to paint and for things you’d need.”
“Unless you choose Eric. He’s willing to stay here or to have you stay at his place. It would be your choice,” Jim said.
“Do you want to know who’s offered?” Elena asked.
“No, that’s okay. If it’s anyone it has to be Eric. He’s the only one who understood there was no way I’d leave this house.”
Jim pulled out a document and slid it to her.
“This says you agree to oversight and discipline. It also says you can contact the council if you think he’s overstepping the boundaries of the agreement.
By the way, intimacy is not included in this,” Jim said, tapping the papers.
“It’s important that you understand that the council is not pimping you out to anyone.
All we’re trying to insure is that there’s someone around to look after you while you’re trying to get your life back on track. ”
“I don’t think he’ll care what this says. He’ll try to seduce me. He’ll try to control everything.”
“He’s a dominant personality. It is what they do,” Elena said gently.
“But you’re letting him live in my house. Isn’t there any other way?” she asked.
“You let strangers wander around with their cell phones shooting pictures. You came drunk to the meeting to talk about it. You gotta admit you’re out of control,” Jim said.
“This is so unfair to Colin,” Laci whispered. “He doesn’t deserve this.”
“Deserve what? To have his friend take care of his widow for awhile? This is exactly what he would’ve wanted.
Why do you think he put the financial guardianship in place?
He wanted you to be forced to take help if you needed it.
This is exactly the same thing on a bigger scale.
If Colin were here, he’d be asking what took us so long to intervene,” Jim said.
“Is that what you really think?” she asked.
“Absolutely,” Jim said.
“Is that what you would want if something happened to you? Would you want some guy moving in with Elena and trying to blot you out?”
“If it was a choice between Elena going down a path that endangered her health or having a guy, a friend, move in with her to take control, I’d opt for the second choice every time.”
“Listen, Laci, Colin took you from the outside world when you were basically still a child and he did everything he could to keep you that child,” Elena said gently.
“He would understand that without him around you’d have to find your way and figure out how to live again.
He loved you. He’d have wanted you to be safe and happy. ”
“No one wants to blot out the memory of Colin. Plenty of people loved the guy, myself included,” Jim said. “That’s why it’s important for us to do right by you.”
Laci flipped to the second page of the agreement and signed it. “What happens if Eric gives up and moves out before the six weeks are up?”
“Then we kick him out instead of you,” Jim said with a wink.
Laci smiled. “I wish you weren’t joking.”
“I don’t think Eric is very likely to give up. I doubt he’s ever failed at anything important in his life,” Elena said.
“Well then he’s due,” Laci said. “If I make him quit, will I get kicked out?”
“No,” Jim said. “If he moves out early, we’ll still judge the situation based on how you’re doing. If you stay on a good path that isn’t dangerous to your well being, that’ll be fine. Like I said, we just want you to be okay and to figure out if this is the right place for you.”
“That’s fair,” Laci said.
“This is basically a business arrangement,” Laci told Eric.
“I understand that you’re not going to let me drink alcohol.
So fine, okay. And the council wants me to go to some functions.
I’m good with that. In terms of punishment, though, I have a couple of ground rules.
I cleared it with Jim and Elena. I choose the way I’m positioned and the implement.
So if I don’t want to be put over your lap, I can elect to bend over a table or the bed or whatever. ”
“Why would you choose that?” he asked, knowing exactly why she would choose that. It would be less physical contact.
“It doesn’t matter. They said it was okay.
You can take the guest room down the hall from the kitchen.
It’s got the best view of the beautiful yard, so enjoy.
And if you tell me what groceries you want, I’ll combine our lists and take care of that.
It’s only fair since I’m here all day while you’re working.
You can have the kitchen when you need it.
I don’t cook that much anyway, so I’ll work around your schedule.
My studio’s off limits. So is the master bedroom and Colin’s study. ”
She was wearing jeans and sweatshirt, which he was sure had been a conscious choice.
She was all covered up. It immediately made him want to get her out of those clothes, which was probably not the effect she was going for.
He realized that she’d stopped talking and seemed to be waiting for him to answer.
“Well?” she asked.
“What was the question?”
“I asked if you got all that?”
“It doesn’t matter since the answer is no.”
“No what?”
“No to all of it.”
She stared at him blankly.
“No to everything you said. It’s a violation of the spirit of the agreement.
I’ll take the upstairs guest room that’s across the hall from yours.
You and I will have dinner together unless we’re having dinner somewhere else.
No room is off limits to me, but if you’re painting I’ll let you work.
In fact, I think it’s a good idea for you to go to your studio every morning after breakfast and to get back to painting every day. ”
“I never painted every day.”
“Colin said you did.”
“He exaggerated. He had a love-hate relationship with my art. He loved the paintings. He hated when I spent hours in my studio and wasn’t available to play with him. But let’s be clear; I don’t paint on a schedule. I’m not a banker. I’m an artist.”
“You’re not much of an artist either when you promise paintings for a show and don’t deliver. There are two galleries who say they’ll never show your work again because you’re unreliable.”
“My husband got sick and then he died.”
“One of the shows was arranged seven months after Colin passed away. And I understand that you initiated contact.”
She was clearly embarrassed and furious if her flushed cheeks and glaring eyes were anything to go by.
“Look, you have no idea how this works so don’t pretend you do,” she said. “Sometimes there’s inspiration and sometimes there isn’t.”
“And sometimes there’s motivation and sometimes there isn’t. I’m going to motivate you.”
“That’s not how it works.”
“Never setting foot in the studio isn’t how it works either apparently. You’re an artist and, from what I’ve heard and read, a really good one. You should be painting, and you’re going to paint. However that happens is fine with me. But if you don’t try, I’ll force you to.”
“You can’t force me to try! You can’t punish me into painting!”
“Did I mention that I’m going to be working remotely for the next few weeks? So I’ll be in the house as much as you are?”
“You goddamned jerk,” she said.
He grabbed her, turned her and swatted her rear end. “Disrespect will earn you a very red ass.”
“I—you can’t dictate what I say,” she said, clearly startled.
“No, but I can make it damned uncomfortable for you to sit down if you choose to say things I don’t like.”
“That’s not how it works with us…you’re not strict like that.”
“I didn’t have the right to correct your behavior before. Now I do. And we need to set the right tone. It’s a community standard for people to treat each other with respect, particularly within the confines of a D-s relationship.”
“We’re not in a D-s relationship.”
“Of course we are. Did you even read the agreement?”
She stared at him, the realization hitting her. “I listened to what they said. You’re here to make sure I don’t drink too much and end up in rehab or whatever.”
“I’m here to see if you can get along in this community that is full of people living varying degrees of a BDSM lifestyle.”
“I just want to be left in peace.”
“You weren’t in peace. You were in pieces. It’s time to put you back together.”
“And you think you’re the person to do that?”
“We should talk about sex, Lace.”
“I don’t have to have sex with you! That’s not a part of this.”
He smiled.
“I’m going to my studio to paint. Don’t bother me.”
He folded his arms across his chest, his smile widening as she retreated from the house. She was panicked and would fight him on everything. It would be good for her. And good for him in a totally different way.