CHAPTER 8
CASHTON
I hadn’t planned on pushing things with Landry quite that far on Saturday, but I had to admit, the aftermath was more satisfying than I expected. Watching her return to the fire, slipping silently into the spot between her friends, was a sight to savor. Their confused glances as they exchanged silent questions, clearly wondering what had happened between us, only added to the moment.
Landry had tried her best to pull herself together, but her ‘freshly fucked’ disheveled appearance and silence for the rest of the night had given her away. I was certain the guys had noticed, though I doubted they would mention it.
For a fleeting moment, I had actually felt a little bit bad about launching her halfway across the lake. The feeling had vanished as quickly as it came. Honestly, I had expected her to come barging in screaming at me, but she had managed to keep her composure. That, more than anything, had caught me off guard.
When she had come to find me out by the car, I had been damn near ready to strangle her. It had taken everything in me to hold back, just a moment away from snapping. The outcome would have been vastly different.
But between her big blue eyes boring into me and the feel of her pulse racing under my grasp, my dick had taken over and I had taken a very different route to let out my anger.
I could never in a million years have imagined just how sweet her pussy had felt, let alone the fact that I had found it completely drenched and waiting for me. The way it had clenched around my fingers as if to welcome me home, her sweet breathy whimpers filling the air. It had been both fascinating and intoxicating, watching her face as she came apart in my hold.
But I couldn’t let it happen again.
After the fact, it hadn’t taken me long to remember why I had been out there in the first place. I had needed a breather after not only remembering that Emory was gone, but that Landry had a hand in that fact.
I knew it wasn’t solely her fault, but given that she was the only one of her pompous friend group to have made her way to Ivybrook and directly into my path, she had become my easiest and favorite target. Eventually, I would have to think of something bigger. Slinging her off of a wakeboard and telling her that I hated her were children’s games at best. I would think of something grander, now with not only Kaptan, but also Zayn at my side. I knew better than to tell TJ or Nate, knowing that they would either run to Olivia or try to talk me out of it. They were too soft for this. And neither of them had been there the night that everything happened. They hadn’t been witnesses to the moment my soul had shattered. Besides—the less people that knew, the better.
I wrapped my knuckles with boxing tape, making my way to one of the hanging bags to warm up while I waited on Kaptan.
I needed to think bigger. I worried that if I waited much longer to act, the girl might actually have a chance of growing on me. One of the things that had caught me off guard the most, other than her ethereal beauty and mesmerizing pussy, was the fact that she actually seemed… nice. Far from the picture I had drawn of her in my mind prior to actually meeting her.
I hadn’t stalked her by any means. I also hadn’t not stalked her. It was hard to avoid her all of the times that Emory had pointed her out when I used to pick her up from school last year. Or every time that Emory had shoved her phone in my face, showing off Landry’s newest Instagram post. It was only natural to be curious about the crowd that my little sister obsessed over.
Landry Andrews, in her little red and white cheerleading uniform and long blonde hair in a tight ponytail, always surrounded by her little minions. Emory had been fascinated by her, constantly telling me all about how she wanted to be just like Landry one day.
My hits became faster, stronger. I needed to let it out, to somehow purge this nauseating and all-consuming anger inside of me at the thought of her. Emory had been so innocent, so naive. She hadn’t seen Landry for what she truly was. It had been her downfall, and I hadn’t been there to protect her .
Sweat began dripping down into my eyes. My muscles grew weak, but I kept going. Hit after hit after hit, my muscles working on overdrive and my mind racing a million miles a minute. I needed to get it out, to quiet all of the noise inside my head. All I could see was Emory’s face, her smile and the joy in her eyes that somehow stayed for every passing moment. I was in a trance, trapped in this bottomless pit that I tried and tried to crawl out of. I was drowning, and I couldn’t find the surface.
I was grunting, pushing my body beyond its limits, willing it to take me just a little bit further. A hand grabbed my shoulder and I swung my body around on instinct, throwing a hook with all of my force as my fist grazed Kaptan’s face. He stepped back just in time, dodging the blow. It wasn’t the first time he had found me like this, no doubt already expecting the reaction.
He didn’t speak a word, his black eyes assessing me. My muscles shook, arms hanging limply by my sides as I took a step back and tried to catch my breath. I lowered my gaze to the mats, hating for him to see me lose control like this. I was close with all of the guys, but Kaptan was the only one that saw through my bullshit when I pretended to be okay. He hadn’t said anything about Landry since the lake day, giving me my space until I was ready to talk.
I slowly lowered myself to the ground, sitting back against the wall with my elbows braced on my knees as my body began shaking from the exertion that I had just put it through.
“You fucked her.” He finally asked. It was a statement more than a question, a hint of disappointment laced in his tone.
“No. Not really, I mean…” I shook my head.
“You’re letting her get into your head. ”
I ripped the tape off of my hands, raking them through my hair before hanging my head in defeat. I hated that he wasn’t wrong. We sat in silence for a few moments before I finally admitted “I know.”
“Think of Emory.” Kaptan said, and my jaw clenched to the point of pain. My nails dug into the nape of my neck, feeling the blood begin to seep out of the crescent-shaped cuts I was leaving.
“All I think about is Emory.” I ground out, speaking through my teeth. “You of all people should know that. Everything I do is for Emory.” I stated, leaving a bite with each word. “It’s all. For. Emory.”
Kaptan’s gaze softened, his dark eyes turning pitying for the briefest of moments before he extended a hand. I slapped it away, needing to be left with my own thoughts for a bit longer.
I was messed up in the head. It didn’t help that Landry was everywhere, even when she wasn’t around. Since that night, she hadn’t left my mind. TJ and Nate hadn’t stopped interrogating me about my outburst on Saturday, trying their best to convince me to give her a chance. Telling me all about how sweet she was, completely missing the point. They didn’t know who she was to me. They didn’t understand why that could never happen.
On the other hand, I had Kaptan insisting I do more, to take control and claim the revenge that I was owed. Zayn sat in the middle, torn because he personally liked Landry, but also understanding what I was going through. He had been there that night, after all.
I forced myself to become a rock, hardening myself to all emotions as my walls shot back up. I felt safer when I had my shields in place, allowing me to become less vulnerable to the outside world. I needed to be in control. Without control, I would be lost.
“So what are you going to do about it?” His face remained impassive, his question genuine.
I breathed in through my nose, forcing myself to hold in the breath before slowly releasing it through my mouth. Doing it a few more times, my head cleared just enough for me to weigh my options. An idea sprung to me, and my control snapped back into place as I stood up, locking eyes with Kaptan.
“Taken. Do you know what servers they use?”
The corner of his lip slowly dragged up into what I could only imagine was a smile, or at the very least, the closest thing to a smile that he would ever show.
I had something in mind, and Kaptan’s involvement with his father’s high-tech security company would allow me the access I needed. He was a computer genius and he knew it, his smirk telling me all that I needed to know.
He turned to stride away, leaving me to observe the massive freshly-inked skull tattoo that covered his entire back. Snatching his phone out of his pocket, he hit a few buttons before bringing it to his ear and stepping into the parking lot.
The games were still two weeks away, and I knew that there was more that I could do in that timeframe. And it just so happened that an idea crossed my mind, something sparking my interest that she had said that first day by the pool. I walked over to the lockers to grab my own phone, sending a quick text to Courtney.
.
CASHTON: Hey. You down to help me out with something?