CHAPTER 38
LANDRY
“You have to be careful, Landry. Please. I honestly think you both should stop looking into it. If there’s somebody out there after both of your families, digging around is only going to get you into trouble,” Bexley continued as I finished getting dressed.
Cashton was picking me up in less than half an hour, and I wanted to make sure I was presentable to meet his parents. With the lack of leads that we had found in my dad’s office, and Francesca and Savannah leaving the country, they were our next best option.
“Please promise me you’ll stop looking. Lan, I’m scared for you.”
I paused at the sincerity of Bexley’s tone, the panic in her eyes that I had never seen there before. Turning my full attention back to her, I sat back down by her on the bed and grabbed her hand .
“Bex, is something going on?”
“No. I just… I believe you. I believe all of it. But if what you’re saying is true, and there’s something bigger going on, they’re not going to like the both of you trying to dig into it. I’m just scared that you’re going to get close to the skeletons in somebody’s closet and that they’ll come after you in return. You’re my best friend, Lan. I’m just scared.”
I understood where she was coming from. Bexley was the rule follower in the group, the most responsible one of the three of us. But Cashton and I both deserved answers for what was done to our families, no matter the means of getting them.
“Bex, I promise I’ll be careful. But there’s someone out there who tried to have me killed, and who in turn took my mom away from me. And that same person got Cashton’s sister killed. I can’t live the rest of my life without knowing who or why. It’s just something I have to do.”
I gave her a reassuring smile, hoping she would understand just how important this was to me. She offered a small one in return before leaning over to embrace me, her arms wrapping around me as I returned the hug.
“I love you, Lan.”
“I love you too, Bex.”
My phone dinged with a text from Cashton, letting me know that he was waiting out front. Grabbing my purse, I offered Bexley a quick goodbye before running downstairs to meet him.
I had been nervous all morning, feeling strange about meeting his mom and stepdad under these circumstances. Not only would I have to look them in the face while knowing that I could have done more to prevent their daughter’s death, but I would most likely have to endure questions about who I was and what my relationship was with Cashton.
I doubt he regularly brought girls home that he wasn’t dating, so explaining that we were just friends might be a little tricky. If you could even call us that. I mean, technically we were just friends. Friends that hated each other just a few weeks ago and that had crazy sexual tension.
But I did care about Cashton enough to know that he needed me here today, even if he hadn’t explicitly stated that. He had asked me to come help distract his mom while he spoke with his stepdad, but considering that he was finally facing his mom again after a year of dodging her calls, I knew this was likely to be an emotional day for him. I was just honored that he’d asked me of all people to join him.
Thirty minutes later, we were pulling into the driveway of a modern three-story home, balconies on the top two levels overlooking a sprawling estate. I noticed basketball courts to our left and a smaller guest house to the right, the entire property lush and well-maintained.
Cashton put the car in park, rounding the front to open my door like a complete gentleman. It was odd coming from the same man who had literally locked me in a dog crate and sent our sex tape to half of the school.
I forced myself to take a calming breath as we waited for his parents to open the door, the nerves causing me to jitter. If Cashton was nervous, he didn’t show it. His demeanor remained cool, calm, and collected.
The door opened moments later, and we were met with a gorgeous middle-aged woman. She was easily a few inches taller than me, with raven-black hair that fell down past her shoulders, wearing a pastel green sundress that complimented her olive skin and vivid green eyes. She was jaw-droppingly stunning.
“Cash!” she cried out, throwing herself onto him and wrapping him in a loving embrace.
“Hi mom,” Cashton greeted her as he kissed her temple, wrapping his arms around her affectionately.
I turned away to give them a moment, Cashton’s father stepping up to offer me his hand.
“David Astor. And you must be Landry, I take it?”
“Yes sir, Landry Andrews. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“Andrews, as in Senator Andrews?”
“Yes sir.”
“Oh wow, I’m so sorry for your loss. I heard about his passing on the news back in January.”
“Thank you,” my smile faltered in the slightest, but I quickly pulled myself back together as Cashton’s mom turned to face me.
“It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Astor,” I greeted her, extending my hand to shake hers. She didn’t take it, pulling me directly into a warm hug instead.
“I’m so happy to have you here, Landry. And no need to call me Mrs. Astor, just call me Amelia. Both of you come inside, I have some hors d’oeuvres and tea waiting in the sitting room!”
—
“So just friends, huh?” Amelia asked, throwing a cheeky smile over her shoulder as she filled the tea kettle and placed it over the stove. Cashton and his stepfather had eventually made their way up to the office to talk in private, while Amelia and I had finished the tea as she shared childhood stories of Cashton and Emory.
I blushed at her question, trying to figure out the best possible way to answer.
“Just friends, really.”
Had I thought about what it could be like to be more than friends? I would be lying if I said no. But the truth of the matter was that a small part of me would always feel guilt over what happened to his sister that night, and a small part of him would always associate me with her death, whether he still blamed me or not. And even if none of that were the case, there was still the matter of all of the awful things he had done to me, and all of the terrible things we had said to each other. It would always be… complicated.
“Well, then you must be a very special friend, because Cash has never brought a girl back home to meet us.”
I nearly choked on my tea.
“Never?”
“Never. Sure, he had girlfriends. Never anything serious. But not once has he brought one back home to meet us. He’s always been very private about his love life, not one for titles or big public displays of affection. Something important to know about Cash is that though he doesn’t love easily, he loves hard when he does.”
My heart fluttered, just as it did every time I thought about him. I wanted to know more, wanted to ask her so many questions about her son. I wanted to know everything about him.
“You should have seen him with his little sister. He loved her with every bone in his body, everything revolved around her. He always felt the need to protect her. I’m sure he’s mentioned a bit about our past and what we went through…”
Her eyes flickered with grief, as if thinking about her past saddened her. I remember Cashton telling me about his upbringing, how hard things had been until Amelia met David. Looking at the beautiful woman in front of me, I only admired her more for her resilience.
“He has, briefly,” I admitted. She offered me a sad smile.
“The areas we lived in… They forced Cash to grow up faster than he should have. There was so much violence, so much crime around us. Life wasn’t easy. And with my job, I wasn’t home as much as I should have been. Cashton is a lover that was forced to become a fighter. Not just for himself, but for Emory. And there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t regret what he had to go through because of my choices.”
The guilt in her voice felt all too familiar. I wanted to run over and give her a hug, to tell her that she did the best she could have done given her situation, and that both Emory and Cashton had turned out great. But there was something I needed to get off of my chest first, and all I could do was pray that she would find it in her heart to forgive me.
“Mrs. Astor–”
“Amelia,” she cut me off, offering me a wink.
“Amelia… There’s something that I need to tell you.”
“What is it honey?” she asked.
I took a deep breath, steadying myself.
“I knew Emory. We went to the same high school senior year.”
“Oh, how wonderful!” she said cheerfully. Her smile slowly began fading as she noticed the look on my face .
“I didn’t know her well. I offered her a ride home once, but that was the most we ever spoke. I was… I was there—The night of the New Year’s Eve party.”
She set her tea down, concern written over her features as she let me continue. My eyes burned as tears threatened to fall with my next words, shame threatening to lodge the words in my throat.
“It was my friends and I that she went with. I watched as… as everything happened.”
She slowly brought a hand up to cover her mouth, her eyes getting watery as she realized what I was saying.
“I need you to know that I did not participate in any way. I actually tried to stop them, I really did. I ended up calling my mom to pick me up because I didn’t want to be around my friends when they were acting like that, and I even tried to get Emory to come with me, but she wanted to stay. I should have tried harder, I had no idea what would happen.”
Amelia remained frozen in place, absorbing all of this. My voice was raspy as I continued, a tear slipping free and making its way down my cheek, but I forced myself to keep going.
“I just wanted to tell you that I am so deeply sorry for not having done more. It’s something that I will have to live with for the rest of my life. But I needed you to know. And I would understand if you didn’t want me in your house, I truly would. But I just needed you to know how sorry I am. I wish I could go back in time, I wish there was anything I could do to make up for your loss. Mrs. Astor—Amelia, I am so sorry.”
Tears freely flowed between the both of us now, the wound of Emory’s death opened once more as I broke Cashton’s mother’s heart. It wasn’t sure what I had expected to happen, but it hadn’t been for Amelia to make her way over to me and wrap me in a hug.
“Landry, honey. Emory made her own choices. What pains me right now is hearing you blame yourself for something that was out of your control.”
I tried to pull back from her, to tell her that it had been in my control. I could have made Emory leave, I could have insisted harder or found a way to get in contact with her parents to tell them what was going on. As if reading my mind, she continued.
“Emory could be quite stubborn when she wanted to be. If she didn’t want to leave, there was nothing you could have said or done to get her to. It’s not your fault, Landry.”
I began crying at those words, the words that I had needed to hear more than I had realized.
“You’re a wonderful girl, Landry. I could have told you that within minutes of being around you. If you keep blaming yourself, it’s going to break my heart. Promise me that you will stop blaming yourself?”
“Okay,” I sobbed, her hug around me tightening. I hadn’t realized just how badly I had missed having a mother’s embrace. My mom had been my best friend, and feeling Cashton’s mother hold me with so much warmth healed a part of me that I hadn’t realized had been broken.
“Cashton told me that your mother passed away. I know firsthand what that’s like, and I also know that a mother is impossible to replace. But I need you to know that you can always come to me. Anything you need, Landry, whether it’s someone to talk to, take you shopping, or even if you just need a hug. Everybody needs a hug from their mom every once in a while. And I’m so sorry that you lost yours. But I’m here for anything you need.”
My sobs turned into full-blown bawling. Cashton’s mother was truly an angel.
“Wait…” I asked, pulling away just enough to meet her face. “Cashton talked about me?”
She laughed at that, wiping the last of her tears as she grabbed me by the shoulders.
“Honey, of course he did. Do you seriously think that after calling me for the first time in over a year to ask if he could come for lunch, and then telling me he was also bringing a girl over for the first time, that I wouldn’t have questions?”
I laughed in return, the smile returning to both of our faces. Amelia Astor might be my new favorite person.