Chapter 26 Jade
Ispent the rest of the weekend mainly with Roderick at their house.
After spending too much time in my room, I explored a bit before meeting him back in the kitchen to go shopping.
I half expected them to have someone do their shopping for them, but when I mentioned it, he laughed at me—well, more like huffed at me.
I don't know if I’ve ever heard Roderick actually laugh, but with him, I think that's as close as you get.
He explained they could have that done, but he prefers to handle what comes and goes as far as the food in their home.
Shopping with Roderick was not at all what I expected. He knew exactly what he needed and where it was. We were in and out in no time with a bunch of things that only proved how little I knew about cooking. Looking at the basket, I had no idea how any of it could be put together to make a meal.
People watched us, whispering as we passed, and I could feel their eyes on me. Roderick didn’t make a big deal about it, so I ignored it as well. If people wanted to look, why did I care?
It was a small market that sold primarily fresh vegetables, meats, and baked goods.
Roderick might be high in the world of Vengeance, but he seemed well-liked by all the employees.
He even bought me a cupcake that caught my eye when the older lady who ran the bakery stopped him to ask how the guys and his mother had been.
It was the best cupcake I’d ever had, not that I had very many to compare it to.
I devoured it in the car on the drive home.
Zander met us at the door when we got back and took the groceries I had been carrying with a laugh.
Apparently, I hadn’t eaten the cupcake as carefully as I intended and had frosting on my face.
He quickly wiped it off with his thumb before popping it in his mouth with a smile.
When I met his gaze, his eyes held a heat that wasn’t there before.
“Delicious as always.”
I wasn’t sure if he was talking about the frosting or not, and he didn't explain before he followed Roderick to the kitchen.
It was something so simple but familiar and cute that it struck me dumb for a moment.
I stood like a statue, frozen in the doorway, my face hotter than the sun until I could breathe again and my brain was functioning enough to get my feet moving.
We cooked dinner together, minus Spencer, who I assume was in the house but trying to stay away from me.
I tried to ignore the nagging feeling it caused me.
I was putting a wedge between them, whether I intended to or not, and I definitely hadn't, but there was nothing I could do about it.
Spencer didn't trust me, and I can't say I blamed him; if the roles were reversed, I probably wouldn't trust him either.
Zander's help with dinner consisted mostly of him taking samples of anything and everything as it was prepared and messing around.
Roderick rolled his eyes at him but mostly ignored him, which led me to believe that was somewhat typical Zander behavior.
The whole thing was very relaxed and normal—not at all what I had expected.
We made shrimp alfredo with homemade white sauce that was to die for, so good that I came back and reheated some later that night for a late night snack.
I’m not sure I could make it on my own yet, but I got the gist of it, and I can’t wait to learn more.
Hopefully Roderick will teach me, he seemed a bit hesitant at first but he did it so I’ll keep my fingers crossed.
If not, Zander seems confident we can find recipes on YouTube to follow. He told me there isn’t anything that you can’t find on YouTube. While I find that hard to believe, everything he’s tried to show me so far has been there, so maybe he’s right.
Sunday was spent with more time exploring while Zander was at the shop, Roderick was in his office, and Spencer was still hiding in the shadows.
Their house is ridiculously big, and everything is beautiful.
I could probably spend days here and still not see everything.
Later that night, we returned to his parents' house and grabbed my things. I left some basic things there as Rick told me we would still visit often per Clair’s request to see us, but most of it came with us.
When we got back, Zander was there and helped me put everything away again, this time with me fully clothed, unfortunately.
They ordered pizza, and we watched a movie. Even Spencer came to watch it with us, and while he didn’t seem so uptight, he also didn’t say a word to me. They all seemed to be back to their usual, and I was happy I hadn’t done serious damage to their friendship, yet.
I may not be able to tell them everything right now, but I also don’t intend to do damage while I’m here.
I might not have cared in the beginning, but the longer I’m here, the more I find I’m starting to.
They’ve done so much for me that they haven’t had to.
Even after Kratos gave the order to keep me safe, they could have done the bare minimum, but they haven’t.
Whether they know everything or not, being around me can put a target on their back for many reasons, yet they’re still here.
I know Spencer has his issues with me. Every time I see him, all I want to do is explain, but I can’t.
At one point during the movie, I felt his eyes on me from across the room.
I half expected to look up and find him glaring at me.
But when I finally met his gaze, I found confusion instead of disdain.
As if I’m a puzzle he can’t figure out, though he desperately wants to, which is probably exactly what he sees me as.
I had to quickly avert my eyes and remind myself that this was for their own good.
Nobody can know. That’s the plan; that's always been the plan.
But the longer I’m here, the harder it is to stick to that plan, and the harder they make it for me to want to.
Monday morning means the first day of classes, and while I know I should be nervous, I’m not really. Though I’m also not exactly excited either. Honestly, I don’t know how to describe what I’m feeling.
I wake up, shower, and get ready. My shower takes a few minutes longer than usual as I take the time to pull off the waterproof taping that Kratos wrapped my tattoos in and wash them for the first time.
I dry them and put the cream he gave me on, making sure to be extra careful.
I’ve never had a tattoo before, but I make sure I follow all the steps Kratos told me for aftercare.
Once I’m done, I admire them in the mirror for a minute.
I love them and already can’t wait to get more.
Having so many clothes to choose from is almost overwhelming, but eventually, I decided to go with dark blue skinny jeans, knee-high combat boots, a burgundy cami, and my favorite black halter hoodie.
I do my hair in soft curls that fall just above my waist and skip makeup.
Clair bought me a bunch, but I don’t know how to apply most of it, and decide it isn’t worth my time to experiment with today.
However, I do grab one of the chapstick tubes she got me.
It smells so damn good and makes my lips so soft that I’ve been carrying it everywhere.
Checking my reflection in the floor-length mirror hanging on my closet door, I decide I’m happy with my outfit.
I admire my hair and new piercing; the stones in my nose catch the light and sparkle, and I can’t help but smile at this new version of me.
I’ve never felt more like myself than I do right now.
Before I can stop it, my brain ventures into thoughts of being back in the rings, of blonde hair and obedience, and I can’t repress the shudder that works through my body at just the thought.
It’s a huge possibility that in just a few months, I’ll be there again.
I know it would be out of necessity, but the thought of giving this version of myself up, even if just temporarily, makes my chest feel tight.
I take a deep breath and file that thought away for later. It’s not something I need to worry about right now, and it won’t help, so there's no reason to dwell on it.
Grabbing my backpack, I head down to the kitchen where Spencer and Roderick sit, having coffee, ready to go.
I pour myself a cup and sit next to Roderick opposite Spencer before I realize they’re deep in conversation about something to do with Vengeance.
I don’t catch what they're discussing, and I really don’t care, but that doesn’t matter.
Just a few days ago, my walking into the room would have had their conversation grinding to a halt, no matter what they were discussing.
Last week, they were talking about their classes.
I had heard them in the hall before I walked in, but the moment they saw me, they stopped talking, as if their conversation was about a sensitive topic.
It wasn’t, but I didn’t say anything. Instead, I grabbed my coffee and took it back to my room.
The moment I was in the hall again, they started talking.
I tried to brush it off and not let it bother me.
I’m a stranger, and they owe me nothing, especially not their trust.
Now, on the opposite side of that, I can’t help but feel ridiculously giddy that they seem to have accepted me being here.
Before I even get a second to sort myself and this stupid feeling out, Zander walks into the kitchen, looking like he would rather be dead than awake.
Though he’s fully dressed, so at least there’s that.
I wonder how long it took to get him up and who got stuck doing it.
Zander hates mornings.
“What did your coffee do to have you smiling at it like that, Doll?” he asks the moment he sees me. No ‘good morning’ or even the slightest acknowledgment to the guys sitting beside me.
Shit.