Chapter 4
Iwatch as Jade settles into Kratos's chest, and I have to push down the jealousy inside of me. Not because she's with him. No, I wasn’t lying when I said I just wanted her happy. I’m jealous because he knows her.
He knows her as none of us do. They have history, and even though I know it’s terrible, I want that.
I want to be her comfort.
“As I was saying,” Kratos says, pulling me from my thoughts. No matter what I might be feeling, I need to listen to what he’s saying. They wouldn’t be telling us all of this if it wasn’t necessary. Who would want to relive this type of shit if they didn’t have to?
Jade looks around the room, from Spencer all the way around to Trent, taking what feels like an eternity before they finally fall on me.
When her eyes finally meet mine, her face is unguarded, her mask gone, none of her earlier hard edges in place.
She gives me a small smile that makes my heart race.
It makes sitting here easier because while we don’t have the same history she has with Kratos, that smile gives me hope that one day we could.
And I’ll do every fucking thing in my power to make sure it’s happier than the rest of the bullshit memories she's stuck with right now.
“I ran back to my room as my father brought Jade upstairs. He gave her the room next to mine and went to bed. Everything about the whole situation felt off, and despite the fact that I knew it was a bad idea in my gut, I found myself heading to her room anyway.” He looks down at her with a smile, and I swear before Jade I didn’t even know Kratos knew how to smile.
“I didn't even get the door all the way open before she threw a knife at me.” Kratos’s smile grows as he recalls the memory, and I can’t stop myself from smiling as well. I can totally picture a younger Jade throwing knives as a way of saying hello.
“It whipped past my head so fast that I didn’t even realize what it was until I looked back at where it had dug itself into the doorframe.
” He chuckles as if it’s a fond memory, and I suppose with them, it is.
I can’t say I wouldn’t feel the same. Jade hasn’t ever thrown a knife at me, but looking back, her giving mine back on that first night kinda feels the same.
“She was unpacking a small bag I hadn’t noticed she had, her back to me.
She didn’t even bother turning around to face me.
She told me that was a warning. Next time she wouldn’t miss.
I couldn’t move, so instead of going in or back to my room like I probably should have, I just stood there like a fucking idiot staring at her. ”
“Are you deaf or just stupid?” Jade says with a laugh that makes Kratos huff, but he doesn’t actually seem upset.
“Sorry, go ahead,” she says with a roll of her eyes.
“When she realized it was me at the door and not my father, she was a little nicer, but not much.” He jostles her in his lap.
“Oh, don’t start this shit again. I told you before I thought you were like him, and I’ve apologized twice for it now. You won’t be getting a third.” She attempts to give him a serious look, but the smile on her lips makes it seem almost flirty.
“I asked her a few questions, but she didn’t really tell me shit.
So eventually, I went back to bed. The next morning I went to school, and when I came home, she was in her room again.
I’d seen my father pull down the street on my walk back to the house.
He was hardly ever home during the day, and as soon as I saw her, I knew why.
” He clenches his jaw, and his eyes harden.
I get the feeling he’s back in that moment in his memories.
“The bruise around her neck was so dark you could see where each of his fingers had been. Her lip was bleeding, and when she reached out to shut the door after she caught me staring, I saw the line of bruises up her arm. I lost my shit and slammed my way into the room, demanding answers, but she gave me nothing.” He shakes his head almost sadly, but keeps going despite the obvious pain it causes him to relive this.
“That went on for two more days. Almost the same damn thing happened both times. And I thought I was going to lose my mind, not knowing what was happening. This wasn’t the same.
I couldn’t just free her. I didn’t understand why she stayed.
He would leave her unattended for hours, and based on her ability to throw a knife, I doubted he was just overpowering her the way he usually did. ”
I shift in my seat. The picture he’s painting in my mind has me on edge, uncomfortable in my own skin.
It takes everything in me to keep quiet, but I know better than to go against Kratos, no matter how much I want to.
Even more so, I know from the start of this story that his father is dead, which is unfortunate considering the fact that all I want right now is to kill him myself.
“On the third day, my father came home early from work and requested we all sit down for dinner. I couldn't remember the last meal I’d eaten with him, but when Jade went down without question, I sure as fuck wasn't going to let her face him alone, not if I could help it.” Kratos’s arm tightens around Jade’s waist. She drops her hand on the bare skin of his forearm, rubbing her thumb back and forth, as if to soothe him.
I’m not sure if he’s trying to comfort himself or to remind him they're here, but after a moment of silence, he continues on even though he doesn’t loosen his hold on her.
“We never even got to eat. Jade didn't even make it to her chair before my father snatched her arm and pulled her onto his lap. He kissed down her neck, rubbing on her in a way that made me lose my appetite and want to vomit at the same time. But I couldn’t look away either. ‘Why don’t you show my son just what you're here for, slut’, he hissed in her ear, but his eyes remained fixed to mine, and I knew all of it was a show for me. I couldn’t take it and went to yell at him for talking to her like that, for touching her like that when she was clearly a child.
Before I could even get a word out, he wound a hand in her hair, throwing her forward into the table he hiked her dress up to fuck her right there in front of me.
” Kratos stops abruptly, his breathing labored, and he takes a few deep breaths before he continues.
I can’t say I blame him. I can feel my own anger rising just below the surface, but I push it down.
This happened years ago, and no matter how upsetting it might be, I need to hear the rest.
“She didn’t even fight, and it was worse than the few times I had seen him with other girls because I saw myself in her eyes.
The cold dead look of accepting that this is what her life was.
I couldn’t take it. I went to lunge for him, but she stopped me.
My father laughed. ‘You see, boy, I’ve finally found something you can’t take away from me.
Jade here is a bestseller in the world of skin, and I paid a pretty fucking penny to get to fuck her all week.
The best part is I can literally do whatever I please because if she doesn’t cooperate, I’ll just order another girl who will.
Isn’t that right, sweetheart?’ She stiffened but didn’t answer him, she didn’t have to though.
It was the first time I had seen her respond to something he said or did, and I knew he was right.
She was just like me, giving up herself to save someone else, and nobody saved people like us.
That was the lesson he was trying to teach me. ”
Jade’s gaze is far away, her hands trembling even as she continues to try an comfort Kratos.
“‘If you can't watch, leave,’ she said, and I did. I stormed off, upset that I couldn’t do anything, but I wasn’t paying attention, and my father was on me so fast I didn’t even get to defend myself.
‘Oh no, you're going to watch this one, boy. I’ve finally found something you can’t fuck up, and you're going to see just how much I enjoy her.’ We wrestled on the ground a bit, and I almost got the upper hand.
I’d been working out, and it had been so long since I fought back that I don't think he was expecting it. I punched wildly, never really having been in a fight before and with no training, but I got a solid hit in on his face. When he reared back, something caught his eye behind me, and before I knew what was happening, he lunged for the table. I never even saw the knife until it was too late.” Kratos' hand runs across the scar on his face, almost absentmindedly letting me know it’s from that night.
Jade visibly flinches in his arms. It’s the first real reaction she’s given the whole time, and of course, it’s not anything to do with her. I watch her a moment longer, but she doesn’t interrupt as he continues on.
“Jade tried to pull him away. She was quick, but he was wildly swinging the knife, and he wasn't just going after me. He didn’t care who he hit. The scar on her back should’ve been my own, but she threw herself between us.
I couldn’t see well enough through the blood to defend myself, and she probably saved my life. ”
Fuck, I hate this.
“The sound of her scream haunted me for years, but all it did was encourage my father.
He dropped the knife and pushed her aside before he grabbed me and slammed my head into the ground hard enough to make the room spin, but not enough to make me lose consciousness.
He grabbed my face and turned it toward Jade, where she lay bleeding on the floor.
‘Watch me fuck the whore.’ I couldn't move, no matter how much I tried.
It was as if I wasn't in control of my body. He pushed her to the ground and ripped her dress away, slamming his hand around her throat to add to the already dark bruises. But something was different that night. My father had choked me plenty of times, but the longer I watched, the more aware I was of just how unhinged he was at that moment.”